Right Attitudes » Ideas for Impact
» by Nagesh Belludi

Humility is a Life-long Pursuit

“Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honor is humility.”
* The Holy Bible (Proverbs 18:12)

We live in a world that misconstrues the virtue of humility as a sign of meekness, timidity, lack of resolve, and, in general, a personal and leadership inadequacy. Could anything be more imprudent?

As the following narratives of great people will illustrate, humility is the bona fide characteristic of the truly accomplished and well-adjusted people. These great men and women live the life of modesty, unpretentiousness, and supreme confidence. They do not bear a sense of self-superiority and pride.

The Humility of Dr. Albert Einstein

“Einstein taught the greatest humility of all: that we are but a speck in an unfathomable large universe.”
* Time magazine, recognizing Albert Einstein as the Person of the Century

Sometime in the ’50s, Don Merwin, a producer of the ‘This I Believe’ radio program, visited Albert Einstein’s home in Princeton, New Jersey. He was to record Einstein speak his essay, “An Ideal of Service to Our Fellow Man” for the program. Don Merwin later recalled his experience: “I started setting up [the bulky tape recorder], and Dr. Einstein, who was a very amiable man, was chatting with me and expressed curiosity about tape-recording, which was fairly new in those days. He said, ‘How does it work?’ I started explaining the electronics of it, the way that the recording heads imprinted a signal on the moving tape. All of a sudden, I froze up. I said, ‘I am lecturing to Albert Einstein on physics!’” [Source: Allison, Jay, et al. (editors) "This I Believe: the Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women."]

The Humility of Dr. M. Balamuralikrishna

Look at this 2007 picture from Deccan Herald, via Churumuri. Dr. M. Balamuralikrishna, the 79-year old celebrated Indian Classical vocalist, expresses deep reverence and seeks the blessings of the 96-year old Dr. Gangubai Hangal, another legendary vocalist.

The Humility of Sri Veerendra Heggade

How about this 2009 picture from Karnataka News (via Churumuri?) Sri Veerendra Heggade, the widely respected guardian of a prominent temple in South India, holds an umbrella to shield from sun blaze the chairman of a culture convention at a parade in the latter’s honor.

The Humility of Peter Drucker

I have read of many an instance of the humility of Peter Drucker, the most influential management philosopher of the modern era. Here are two anecdotes:

• Executive-education student Cathy Taylor remembers Peter Drucker conscientiously writing down autograph seekers’ names on a napkin to get the spelling correct before he made the formal inscription.
• Forbes magazine publisher Rich Karlgaard remembers Peter Drucker “apologizing for taking so long to answer the doorbell at his modest home in Claremont, California. He said he was still adapting to his new artificial knees.”

Call for Action: Try to Practice Humility

Humility is simply the absence of pride. Humility and modesty are the marks of a genuine individual. However, practicing humility is often easier said than done. Deplorably, our society and world of work characterizes humility as significantly antithetical to the impression of the intelligent professional and competent leader. It is rather easy to succumb to the temptation to enhance our ego.

Hard as it may be, try to practice humility whenever an opportunity arises. Here are few remainders to bear in mind.

• Stop interpreting humility and unpretentiousness as signs of submissiveness, timidity, lack of confidence, insecurity, and diffidence
• Practice assertiveness, not aggressiveness
• Never confuse humility with false modesty
• Compliment others sincerely, avoid flattery
• Give credit where it’s due and describe achievements in terms of “what we did”
• Acknowledge the role of people and circumstances in your successes
• Tone down your authority and look to promote others
• Smile more. Say, “thank you,” “please” and “sorry” often.
• Try not to yield to the temptation to one-up people and gain an advantage over them
• Demonstrate curiosity and a genuine interest in the fellow being
• Avoid swagger, do not feign to be a “know-it-all” or “holier than thou”
• Respect others for who they are and show consideration for everybody
• Acknowledge what you do not know and be open to learning
• Own up to your mistakes and acknowledge your personal shortcomings
• Invite criticism and tend to feedback you receive
• Value others’ opinions and be open to change
• Avoid pretentiousness and conduct yourself in a manner that befits your true talents and shortcomings.

Recommended Reading

• The “Waiter Rule” — How you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character
• The foundation of great relationships — be genuinely interested in other people
• Pretending to know-it-all and failing to admit ignorance
• The Legacy of Peter Drucker, the “Father of Modern Management”
• Expressing regret or apologizing is a critical component of leadership

***See other articles related to great personalities, servant leadership, leadership, humility, modesty, conduct of life

A common mistake we make in giving feedback to others is that we tend to defer corrective (negative) feedback. We put off criticism until the problem escalates or, as managers, wait until the employee’s performance review discussions. This predisposition is often rooted in the fear that negative feedback will offend the other and thus affect our rapport with the other.

Yahoo! CEO Carol Bartz offers a ‘puppy theory’ on timing feedback:

I have the puppy theory. When the puppy pees on the carpet, you say something right then because you don’t say six months later, “Remember that day, January 12th, when you peed on the carpet?” That doesn’t make any sense. “This is what’s on my mind. This is quick feedback.”

Immediate Feedback is Most Useful

I have previously discussed that effective feedback has three aspects: (1) initiate a personal conversation and make sure the other is ready to hear it, (2) explain his behavior, and, (3) help him understand the consequences of his behavior.

Do not neglect or defer feedback. Address problems while they are small. Immediate feedback ensures that the other accepts your feedback, understands his behavior and attempts to correct.

Recommended Reading

• Sandwich feedback technique and why it is ineffective
• Manager Tools’ feedback model
• Six steps to appreciate people
• Any excuses for not complimenting your people

***See other articles related to giving feedback, criticism, manager skills, interpersonal skills, praise

Promotions Can be Stressful

Last year, researchers at the University of Warwick found that the mental health of managers typically deteriorates after a job promotion.  Part of this anxiety is attributable to,

1. the loss of the security of a familiar role and the established relationships around the role,
2. perceived cognitive inadequacies concerning demands of the new position, and,
3. the uncertainty of transition and the innate human resistance to change.

The greater part of this anxiety is a common career mistake. Often, professionals take up new responsibilities for which they are not entirely prepared. Even when management judged them as qualified for the new role, without thinking through a new role before accepting the promotion, these professionals unintentionally position themselves for stressful transitions, bitterness, or eventual failure.

When Is It Time to Move On?

Do not assume that you are ready for a promotion just because you possess the right academic background, you look the part, you have the right contacts within the company, or, you have impressed your management with your capability to develop a few good ideas and articulate them well.

Here are a few questions to reflect on and assess your chance of a successful promotion or a horizontal transition.

• Are you enthusiastic about taking on a new role? Does the new role fit into your medium- and long-term career plans?
• Have you been performing your present duties well enough to justify a promotion?
• Do you have a successor in mind for your current role? Have you made yourself replaceable? Are you willing to entrust your current responsibilities to a successor without a significant interruption in pace of work?
• Are you qualified or experienced enough to do no less than, say, 40% of the new role reasonably well?
• Have you demonstrated eagerness to gain knowledge of the new responsibilities?
• Are you familiar with the responsibilities, autonomy, challenges, opportunities, and deliverables of the new role? Do you know how to get things done in the new role? Do you know where to get help?
• Are you proficient with the communication, networking and interpersonal skills needed to make it in the new role? Will you get along with your peers, subordinates, and management at the new role?
• Are you at ease with the demands on the new role: time, travel, pressures, and challenges? Can your family (or other aspects of your personal life) support this transition?
• Can you swallow your pride if you are rejected for the new role? Are you ready to seek honest feedback about how management values you, listen, and make yourself more promotable in the future?

The more questions you answer with a “Yes” to, the better your chances for a successful promotion. Reflect on the questions you answer with a “No” to. Create a growth plan, improve your professional profile, and, ask for feedback from management on what you can do deserve a promotion.

Recommended Reading

• How to write a job description for your present position
• Seeking proactive feedback from your manager
• Do you deserve a raise?
• Seeking proactive feedback from your manager
• Getting recognition to help career advancement

***See other articles related to promotions, job transitions, career planning, managing your career, career success

Everybody Desires to be Heard

Last week, a manager complained that his boss constantly pushes his ideas with a “here’s what I want you to do” even though the manager is a subject expert. A wife criticized her husband for never asking for her opinions; “every idea, every decision has to be his—not mine, not even ours,” she grumbled.

In coaching people, one of the most common grievances I hear is that people feel they have lost their right to be heard—their spouses, parents, friends, partners, bosses, and significant others do not “listen.” In fact, one of the foremost reasons for job dissatisfaction is that employees believe their bosses do not care for their employees’ opinions. Lack of respect and consideration can strain professional and personal relationships.

People Make Decisions for Their Own Reasons

“I tell you and you forget.
I show you and you remember.
I involve you and you understand.”
* Eric Butterworth

In making decisions and getting things done with people, if you are often unwilling to ask for others’ opinions, it is because you likely think you might seem vulnerable, insecure, or incapable of taking decisions on your own. Or, perhaps, you simply choose to be forceful and assert your influence. Over time, such behaviors can easily hurt others’ feelings and trigger resentment.

Recognize that people make decisions for their own reasons, not yours. They are less likely to be motivated at something that they did not choose. If you try to be forceful, they are less likely to comply.

Four Important Words: “What do you think?”

“The four most important words in business are ‘What do you think?’”
* Jeffrey Immelt, Chairman and CEO, General Electric

Be open and approachable. Develop the habit of asking, “What do you think,” before declaring, “You will do this,” or even, “We will do this.”

Expect differences of opinion; they are natural. Work on reaching decisions by building on the agreements.

People are Inclined to Support What They Help Decide

Quite often, when people realize they have little influence on the decision-making process, they withdraw from active participation. They are usually reluctant to participate actively in a process, idea, or system that they were never consulted on.

People want to support, defend, and enthusiastically work on anything that they help create or decide. Therefore, include people in decision-making at every level in every situation—at home, work and elsewhere.

Develop the indispensable art of persuasion by asking, “What do you think.” By incorporating others’ inputs, you demonstrate a sincere interest in soliciting their opinions. When people feel valued and cared for, you establish an atmosphere of open communication, ownership, and increased commitment.

Related Articles

• What the deaf can teach us about listening
• Building consensus
• Overcoming the temptation to please
• Accepting compliments gracefully
• Expressing regret or apologizing

***See other articles related to persuasive skills, empowerment, commitment, listening, ownership, engagement, motivating employees, interpersonal relationships, team skills

Uneasiness in Striking up Conversations

The introverts among us do not like being the center of attention and the life of parties. We prefer small get-togethers with a selected group of familiar friends. We have a tendency to shy away from interacting with new people.

We introverts are not very comfortable with small talk. We would rather choose meaningful conversations about a variety of topics that are closer to our hearts. Consequently, we are likely to find it difficult to strike up conversations in social gatherings, parties, and meetings.

Assuming Rapport

The Positivity Blog discusses a simple and effective technique to help initiate conversations. In essence, as opposed to initiating a conversation with uneasiness, act as if you are meeting one of your best friends. The resulting assurance will ease up the anxiety and help initiate and pursue a conversation with new people. In addition, the ensuing poise results in a more forthcoming body language.

I have adopted this technique to better myself in presentations and speeches, meeting new people at work and play, and overcome my own introversion to the extent that now people often label me as being talkative.

Pursuing Conversations

Here are a few more suggestions to help introverts get more comfortable in social gatherings.

• Ask to be introduced. Ask your host or a fellow-attendee to introduce you to the other guests by citing common interests. This will help you connect with other guests over the topic of common interest and pursue a conversation more effortlessly.
• Interact with other introverts. Surveys suggest that 60% of people tend to be introverts. You could identify like-minded folk through their shy body language, approach them, and introduce yourself to them.
• Connect with extroverts. Extroverts like meeting people, enjoy interactions, and love introducing people to one another. Being around extroverts can help overcome some initial difficulty with starting conversations and engaging in small talk in unfamiliar social situations.
• Learn and practice the art of small talk. Most people are enthusiastic about sharing their stories. Favorite sports, travel destinations, kids, opinions of celebrities, movies and other current events make great conversation starters. Steer away from conversations on social or economic status, health, faith, and other personal details. Watch for gestures of discomfort when you ask questions.

Recommended Reading

• Protocol of Introducing People to One Another
• 7-38-55 Rule of Personal Communication
• On Keeping Good Eye Contact
• The Art of Remembering Names

***See other articles related to Introversion, extroversion, conversations, networking, building relationships, interpersonal skills, meetings, parties, etiquette, confidence

“Respect People for Who They Are, Not for What Their Titles are”

In “The Best Advice I Ever Got” article in Fortune magazine, Herb Kelleher, founder and recently-retired Chairman of Southwest Airlines, discussed the importance of respecting and trusting people.

“One piece of [my mother's] advice that always stuck in my mind is that people should be respected and trusted as people, not because of their position or title. Frequently, position or title did not reflect the true merits of a person.”

“Thanks to her advice, in the business world I try not to judge anyone by superficial standards. I try to approach them with an open mind. I’m very interested in their ideas. … You ought to be open to listening to people. Show that you care about them as individuals, not just as workers. You know how some people are always looking over your shoulder to see if there’s somebody more important behind you? Well, one of the things that I’ve tried to do–if I’m talking to a person, that person is the only person in the world while we’re talking. They’re owed that.”

[Note: Image of Herb Kelleher with mechanics courtesy of Southwest Airlines]

Call for Action

Our personal and professional lives are not solo acts. Every endeavour includes an active involvement and support of the people in our lives: parents, spouses, children, friends, bosses, employees and peers. Respect and trust are the foundation of connecting with people and building relationships. As managers and leaders, respect for people is fundamental to engaging them and getting things done. Yet, we live in a world obsessed with judging the significance of individuals based on the superficialities of appearance and social order.

• Have an open mind. Accept people for who they are and respect their individuality.
• Develop your listening skills. When listening to another person, think that he or she is the only person in the world.
• Be compassionate and kind. Never treat people as a means to an end.

Recommended Reading

• ‘The Waiter Rule’ — How you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character

***See other articles related to people skills, respect, trust, compassion, kindness, Southwest Airlines

“The eyes are the mirror of the soul.”
- A Yiddish Proverb

Our eyes play a major role in our interpersonal communication. The eyes express our moods and reactions more overtly than does other body language. By and large, observant people can attempt to understand our attitudes through the nature of our eye contact, our facial expressions and body language.

When we meet other people, we usually observe their eyes first. When we speak, we tend to look other’s eyes. And, in return, we expect our audience to look at our eyes and pay their undivided attention. Hence, making and keeping good eye contact with others is an important habit.

Trick used by President John F. Kennedy

The Reader’s Digest guide ‘How to Write and Speak Better’ notes a technique used by President John F Kennedy.

When people look and listen they tend to focus on one eye rather than both. Kennedy, however, would look from eye to eye when he listened, softening the expression in his own eyes at the same time, and so giving the impression that he cared greatly about the speaker’s feelings.

Trick: Make a Mental Note of Their Eye Color

The ‘Success Begins Today‘ blog cites a technique from Nicholas Boothman’s book, ‘How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less.’

Eye contact and smile … it’s a simple courtesy and leads to a relaxed conversation. If you tend to be a shy person, this may be somewhat difficult for you. You may tend to look down or away when greeting someone. This can break the conversation right away.

When you meet or greet someone for the first time, just make a mental note of their eye color. This simple technique is amazingly effective. If you are looking for their eye color you’ll automatically make eye contact for a second or two.

Keeping Eye Contact in Conversations

When people maintain eye contact during a conversation, others usually interpret the eye contact as a sign of interest, confidence, honesty, compassion and sympathy depending on the nature of the conversation. Failure to maintain eye contact may be interpreted as signs of suppression of emotions or truth, distraction, disagreement, confusion, reticence or lack of interest. Further, when people react to blame or accusation or are provoked into defensiveness or aggressiveness, their eye contact increase considerably—often, their pupils dilate.

Individual Differences

Many people, due to innate shyness or cultural background, tend to evade or curtail eye contact. They do not realize that, even if they are sincere and confident, their lack of eye contact could inadvertently communicate insincerity and lack of self-assurance.

Cultural Differences

The amount of eye contact varies dramatically in different cultures. In Asian cultures, for instance, where formal social structures (age, experience, social status, etc.) exist, eye contact with somebody superior can be offending. In some parts of India, men and women do not keep eye contact with their in-laws, out of respect. In most cultures, a longer eye contact while interacting with the other gender may be read as a sign of intimacy and expression of interest.

Gender Differences

• Between men, prolonged eye contact may signal aggression or intent to dominate–especially so during acquaintance or if the men are not completely familiar with each other’s expectations. Although more contact is tolerable as a relationship grows, eye contact needs to be broken often.
• Women tend to maintain better eye contact in conversations with other women–more so with friends and family than with strangers. Generally, women interpret eye contact as a sign of trust and compassion.
• Prolonged eye contact, an intent-look in particular, between men and women may quickly be interpreted as a sign of intimate interest. In the absence of romantic interest, concentrated eye contact must be avoided.

Avoid Staring and Gazing into Somebody’s Eyes

Staring or gazing at other individuals is typically awkward, sometimes intimidating. Never overdo an eye contact. Break eye contact often.

Call for Action: Keep Eye Contact

People who keep good eye contact are usually seen as personable, self-assured and confident. In the context of cultural backgrounds of the people around you, consider what messages your eye contact and body language may be unconsciously communicating about you. A firm handshake and a smile at the onset of a meeting, and eye contact throughout your conversations can establish a good impression of you.

Recommended Reading

• Personal Spaces for Social Interaction: Intimate space, casual space, social space and public space

***See other articles related to Body language, etiquette, personality development, cross-cultural interaction, interaction, interpersonal skills, people skills

Remembering names is an important social skill — mastering this skill can offer a distinct advantage in your professional and personal lives. Previous blog articles discussed a 5R (Resolve, Review, Relate, Repeat, Record) technique to help remember names and a technique to remember names around tables in meetings.

Apologize and Ask

Despite your best efforts, on occasion you may not be able recollect the name of another person, even if you were introduced minutes earlier. In such cases, simply ask, “I am sorry, I forgot your name.” Do not elaborate or try to qualify. Alternately, ask for the person’s business card if appropriate

Another familiar situation is when you run into someone you know–you can remember several details of the person and your prior interactions,–but cannot recall the person’s name. This person may assume that you know his/her name and hence may not self-introduce. You may go through an entire conversation trying to call to mind this person’s name. Simply say, “Forgive me. I remember we met at last year’s sales conference. I can remember everything about you, but, I can’t recall your name. Could you please repeat it for me?”

Introduce a Third Person

Yet another technique is to introduce a third person. Say, at an office holiday party, you fail to remember the name of a colleague. Turn to your colleague and say, “I don’t think you have met my husband, Frank.” Frank and your colleague exchange greetings: “Hi, I am Frank. Nice to meet you.” Your colleague reveals her name: “Hi, I am Isabella David.”

At any rate, avoid embarrassing yourself by using an assumed or a wrong name. Apologize and ask the person to state or confirm his/names.

***See other articles related to remembering names, personality development, networking, building relationships, people skills, interpersonal skills

Preamble

The last two articles discussed the popular ‘sandwich technique‘ for giving interpersonal feedback. The first article introduced the sandwich feedback technique. The second article critiqued this method and discussed three common mistakes that render the sandwich technique ineffective.

This follow-up article will introduce an effective feedback technique and list links for further information.

This article focuses on manager-to-employee feedback. However this feedback model can be the foundation for giving feedback in other interpersonal contexts as well—between peers or between spouses, for instance.

The Manager Tools Feedback Model

Manager Tools is a widely-admired suite of management techniques to help shape effective managers and leaders. The weekly podcasts on this site feature Manager Tools’ principals, Mark Horstman and Mike Auzenne, discussing their tools and tips to help audiences advance their managerial and leadership skills. The discussion forums are useful as well.

Perhaps the most popular and most effective of the Manager Tools ideas is the effective feedback model. Here is a summary of the four steps in this feedback technique.

1. Ask an employee whether they are open to some feedback. Example: “Jack, may I give you some feedback?”
2. Describe specific behavior you saw, heard, or read about. Example: “Jack, when you roll your eyes in meetings when others talk; when you say “you guys don’t get it”; when you come late to meetings and leave in the middle…”
3. Describe the impact of the behavior. Once you have described what you observed, tell them what you felt or what impact it had on the company, project, or team. Example: “Jack, when you roll your eyes and tell others they “don’t get it”, here’s what happens. We lose good people. You lose opportunities you want, like that last move that you didn’t get.”
4. Discuss next steps. Even with affirmative (positive) feedback, state “Good work. Keep it up.” For corrective (negative) feedback, ask open-ended or leading questions to encourage the employee to suggest change. Example: “What can you do about this? How can I help you?”

Further Information

Here are links to podcasts and references for further information on the Manager Tools effective feedback model.

• Effective feedback model: podcast on the four-step technique and the corresponding summary sheet.
• Podcast on frequently asked questions on the effective feedback model
• Podcast on tailoring feedback to distinct employee communication styles.
• Podcast on adapting the feedback model for giving feedback to peers.
• A list of podcasts for advancing managerial and leadership’s skills.

Call for Action

Feedback is a central component of the manager-employee relationship. Employees get better at their jobs only when their managers give them timely, relevant and forthright feedback — both affirmative and corrective feedback.

Use the Manager Tools feedback model to enhance your feedback skills and communicate effectively with employees.

***See other articles related to Giving feedback, criticism, manager skills, interpersonal skills, praise

Preamble

Yesterday’s article presented the popular ‘sandwich technique‘ for giving interpersonal feedback. This follow-up article will critique this method and discuss three common mistakes that render the sandwich technique ineffective. The next article will introduce an effective feedback technique with pointers for further information.

These discussions and examples focus on manager-to-employee feedback. This analysis is, however, relevant to other interpersonal contexts–between peers or between spouses, for instance.

Mary Kay Ash on the Sandwich Technique

Mary Kay Ash, American entrepreneur and founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, discusses the sandwich feedback technique in her popular book ‘People Management.’

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. … A manager should be able to tell someone when something is wrong without bruising an ego in the process.

Never giving criticism without praise is a strict rule for me. No matter what you are criticizing, you must find something good to say — both before and after. This is called sandwich technique.

Try to praise in the beginning and then again after discussing the problem. You don’t subject people to harsh criticism or provoke anger.

Common Mistake 1: Praise is substantial and obscures the criticism

Consider the following case. Surya was the head of a committee that organized the annual family picnic at his company. The committee exceeded the picnic budget by 35%. Surya’s boss uses the sandwich technique to criticize him for his failure to control expenditure.

• Praise: “Surya, our management was very impressed with the attendance at our annual family picnic. The weather was great. The catered food was excellent. The activities for children were wonderful. You even organized contests for children and family.”
• Criticism: “By the way, you overspent by 35%. You should check your expenses and try to be within budget.”
• Praise: “I understand you worked very hard to coordinate the logistics. I congratulate you for doing a remarkable job leading the committee and for your enthusiasm. Thank you for a job well done.”

In the above example, the praise is substantial and obscures the criticism. Surya may neglect the criticism since the criticism is insignificant— therefore, lost—when sandwiched between “heavy layers of praise.”

Common Mistake 2: Praise is trivial or just-for-sake and serves no function

Suppose that Charlie led a brainstorming meeting for a new product. One of his new fresh-from-college employees proposed an idea that was not practicable. Charlie was annoyed with the idea and responded, “That is a stupid idea. You are thoughtless. You have been here for less than a week. I don’t think you are knowledgeable enough to contribute to our discussions here.”

Janet, Charlie’s boss, observed this interaction. After the meeting, she wanted to criticize Charlie for condemning the new employee in the presence of several other employees. Janet recalled the sandwich feedback technique she had learnt. However, she could not conceive praise for Charlie. Hastily, she stated something trivial just for the sake of paving the way to her criticism.

• Praise: “Charlie, good job organizing the meeting.”
• Criticism: “I noticed that you openly called the new employee’s idea “foolish” and dismissed his idea. Don’t you realize he is fresh from college? Did you see his reaction? He felt dejected and showed no enthusiasm during the rest of the meeting. He was probably there to meet many people from our department and learn how we manage projects. How can you expect him to feel happy about joining your team? I have noticed that you jump to criticize other people’s ideas in meetings. Look, a good manager encourages participation in meetings. I think you should apologize to the new employee. [Pause]“
• Praise: “Hmm … anyway. Good meeting. I liked your flowchart.”

As in the above example, for the sake of sandwiching their criticism, managers tend to offer unrelated—often trivial—praises when faced with the challenge of criticizing their employees. Such praise is inconsequential and, therefore, defeats the purpose of the sandwich technique.

Common Mistake 3: Employees get tuned in to the praise-criticism-praise pattern

Once managers learn and use the sandwich feedback technique a few times, employees recognize the praise-criticism-praise pattern. Employees realize that the managers offer criticism after initiating their conversations with praise. Subsequently they learn to discount this praise since such praise is just a lead-in to the criticism.

Conclusions: Sandwich feedback is often ineffective

Frequently, from the mistakes explained above, the sandwich technique amounts to undercutting praise with criticism. A praise followed by criticism undermines the positive impact of praise and weakens the significance of the corrective feedback.

Sandwich feedback is perhaps best used to help new managers develop feedback skills: to provide affirmative feedback to encourage employees to repeat desired behaviors and to offer corrective feedback to influence change. Once managers are at ease with giving feedback, they can focus on discussing what their employees do right and defer offering corrective feedback for other conversations.

Effective feedback is timely, relevant and forthright. Tomorrow’s article will introduce an effective feedback technique.

***Related Article: On the use of the word ‘but‘ to undercut praise with criticism. ‘But’ as in “Great job on the PowerPoint presentation Tom, but, you used small fonts — the audience was not able to read text on your slides.”

***See other articles related to Giving feedback, criticism, manager skills, interpersonal skills, praise