Right Attitudes

Knowing When to Give Up: Establish ‘Kill Criteria’

March 27, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away (2022) by the professional poker player and “decision scientist” Annie Duke meditates on how you could become so wedded to some predetermined goals that you don’t reassess your ever-evolving values and priorities based on new information that you may unearth along the way.

Quitting isn’t bad, especially if you’re blindly heading toward a “fixed object goal” that’s perhaps no longer serving your values—even hurting you in some way you didn’t anticipate.

A Mental Model to Help You Cut Your Losses

Duke suggests instituting “kill criteria” in advance. Before a pursuit, ask yourself: what signals you could see in the future would tell you it’s time to quit or change course?

How to Quit Well Using Kill Criteria

Before entering a marathon, for example, you could decide if the medical tent counsels that you’re hitting your physical limitations, you’d quit trying to push yourself and walk out.

In other words, every goal needs a resolute “unless” for every task, investment, and relationship. E.g., if you’re miserable at your job, you could give it three more months and pre-select some indicators that would tell you if things haven’t improved even after you’ve increased your efforts.

Idea for Impact: Know when to give up. Grit is great—but only for carrying on for hard things that are worthwhile. Don’t refuse to accept feedback and change.

Inspirational Quotations #990

March 26, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

It were better to have no opinion of God at all, than such an opinion, as is unworthy of him. For the one is unbelief, the other is contumely; and certainly superstition is the reproach of the Deity.
—Francis Bacon (English Philosopher)

A failure is like fertiliser; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.
—Denis Waitley (American Motivational Speaker)

I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.
—Maya Angelou (American Poet)

My belief of book writing is much the same as my belief as to shoemaking. The man who will work the hardest at it, and will work with the most honest purpose, will work the best.
—Anthony Trollope (English Novelist)

Destiny is an absolutely definite and inexorable ruler. Physical ability and moral determination count for nothing. It is impossible to perform the simplest act when the gods say “no.” I have no idea how they bring pressure to bear on such occasions; I only know that it is irresistible.
—Aleister Crowley (English Occultist)

Personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures.
—F. Scott Fitzgerald (American Novelist)

The Sun never shined on a cause of greater worth.
—Thomas Paine (American Nationalist)

It is of little use for us to pay lip-loyalty to the mighty men of the past unless we sincerely endeavor to apply to the problems of the present precisely the qualities which in other crises enabled the men of that day to meet those crises.
—Theodore Roosevelt (American Head of State)

When you go in search of honey you must expect to be stung by bees.
—Kenneth Kaunda (Zambian Statesman)

He who overlooks a fault, invites the commission of another.
—Publilius Syrus (Syrian-born Latin Writer)

If our religion is not true, we are bound to change it; if it is true, we are bound to propagate it.
—Richard Whately (English Philosopher, Theologian)

I have no ambition to govern men. It is a painful and thankless office.
—Thomas Jefferson (American Head of State)

Once to every man and nation comes the moment to decide; In the strife of Truth with Falsehood, for the good or evil side.
—James Russell Lowell (American Poet, Critic)

To Live a Life of Contentment

March 25, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

William Henry Channing (1810–84) was an Unitarian clergyman, writer, and philosopher who served as the United States House of Representatives Chaplain from 1863–64. He was also a close friend of the transcendental philosophers Henry David Thoreau and Ralph Waldo Emerson.

One of Channing’s best-known writings is a simple stirring verse called the Symphony of Contentment:

To live content with small means.

To seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion.

To be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich.

To study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly.

To listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart.

To bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never.

In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden, and unconscious grow up through the common.

This is to be my symphony.

Idea for Impact: The key to well-being is feeling content wherever you are. It’s an even more worthy aspiration than happiness.

What You Most Fear Doing is What You Most Need to Do

March 24, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

What You Most Fear Doing is What You Most Need to Do Sometimes when you’re anxious about things, you tend to push them out of your grasp. Instead of evading from frustrating encounters thus, ask yourself, “What can I do that’ll make me more competent to tackle this problem?”

Don’t postpone the problem. Start with a baby step. A single, small accomplishment may promote new feelings of accomplishment and spark a sense of self-confidence. You’ll be pleased with yourself for taking charge.

When you like yourself better, you’ll begin to get more productive and improve your life in small ways, which can lead to bigger achievements.

Manage Your Own Career—No One Else Will

March 23, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Manage Your Own Career---No One Else Will In 2014, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella was rightfully condemned for casually asserting that women shouldn’t bother asking for raises and instead rely on “good karma” and trust that the system will eventually reward their work.

Despite what “they” may say, no one else will manage your career for you—not the fine folks at human resources, not your boss, or some mentoring system. No one will chart out a career path for you or tell you what experience you should obtain, let alone assist you in getting it.

Don’t subscribe to the notion that someone is looking out for your best interests. You’ve got to look after yourself. Don’t expect to be promoted because you deserve it—no one is likely keeping track. Be proactive and ask for what you want.

Idea for Impact: Take active control of your career because nobody will manage it for you. Own it and challenge yourself.

Be Open to Being Wrong

March 22, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Be Open to Being Wrong The philosopher and logician Bertrand A. Russell, one of history’s brightest minds, was once asked whether he’d be prepared to die for his beliefs. He replied, “Of course not. After all, I may be wrong.”

Feeling that you’re making more sense than others shouldn’t be the gauge for being accurate about your convictions. Especially when you’re good at arguing, you can take your ideas and judgments in various directions that will mislead you in ways that are more convincing to you than what the other side thinks. Blind spots can spawn certainty quickly.

Idea for Impact: Hold yourself to a higher standard. Turn doubt into a deliberate attitude. Allow your mind to wander in unexpected directions. Be open to other perspectives. Be open to being wrong.

Things Will Look Up Soon

March 21, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Things Will Look Up Soon There’ll be days when you’ll feel down in the dumps. You’ll have those days when the band, singer, or ensemble you enjoy won’t suddenly make your anxiety disappear. When the show you’ve been watching won’t fascinate you as much as it did the previous day. When you’ll not feel like being with a loved one.

Feeling helpless is something that all people suffer from time to time. You may become dispassionate or disengaged from the things and people that ground you. The hobbies you care for don’t cheer you up.

Sometimes, it’s just a day that only you can get through, even if you feel nobody understands what you’re going through. Nobody’s going to do your life for you. Hang in there—you’ll soon find ways to deal with it and emerge from what can feel like a hole or a dark tunnel with no end.

Can You Be Terminated for Out-of-Work Conduct?

March 20, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Can You Be Terminated for Out-of-Work Conduct?

An employee’s off-duty conduct is generally off-limits as far as employers are concerned, and an employer can’t terminate an employee for conduct outside work if that termination would amount to unlawful discrimination.

However, exceptions exist if the misconduct outside the workplace poses a serious risk to the employer’s business.

In employment-at-will states, employers can terminate an employee for a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all.
If an employment contract is in place, it likely outlines the specific types of conduct for which an employee can be terminated. So the rights and obligations of the employer and the employee are set contractually.

In many cases, though, no clear-cut guidelines can help determine the course of the action, especially for off-duty, private deeds with moral or political overtones that aren’t rightfully the company’s concern. However, the employer can terminate if the employer can establish a logical, if not obvious, connection between an egregious off-duty behavior having some bearing on their job (e.g., substance abuse that impairs the ability to perform work,) posing a reputational risk, damaging the employer’s interests, portrays the employer in a poor light (e.g., the employee was wearing a uniform or sporting the employer’s logo ) or is incompatible with the employee’s duty (e.g., a poorly worded social media post painting the employer or the industry in a poor light, or inciting hatred and hostility.) The devil is always in the detail.

Idea for Impact: Any out-of-hours misconduct with some sufficient or necessary association with the employment is grounds for termination. Best to know the employer’s policy on what makes up a breach of the company’s values, public position, and policies.

Inspirational Quotations #989

March 19, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

As long as you think you are white, there is no hope for you. Because as long as you think you’re white, I’m forced to think I’m black.
—James Baldwin (American Novelist, Social Critic)

In life, as in chess, forethought wins.
—Charles Buxton (British Politician, Writer)

The brain is the palest of all the internal organs, and the heart the reddest. Whatever comes from the brain carries the hue of the place it came from, and whatever comes from the heart carries the heat and color of its birthplace.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (American Physician, Essayist)

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing.
—Edmund Burke (British Philosopher, Statesman)

A work of art/a poem is never really finished, it is merely abandoned.
—Paul Valery (French Critic, Poet)

Prejudices are the reason of fools.
—Voltaire (French Philosopher, Author)

Grief should be the instructor of the wise: sorrow is knowledge; they who know the most must mourn the deepest o’er the fatal truth,—the tree of knowledge is not that of life.
—Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron) (English Romantic Poet)

The present is not totally shaped by the past. In fact, the most important element shaping your present pleasure or pain is how you fashion, with your intentions in the present, the raw material provided by the past.
—Thanissaro Bhikkhu (American Buddhist Monk)

The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love.
—Margaret Atwood (Canadian Author)

Everyone has the right to doubt everything as often as he pleases and the duty to do it at least once. No way of looking at things is too sacred to be reconsidered. No way of doing things is beyond improvement.
—Edward de Bono (British Psychologist, Writer)

Learning organizations are possible because not only is it our nature to learn but we love to learn.
—Peter Senge (American Management Consultant)

The passion between the sexes has appeared in every age to be so nearly the same, that it may always be considered, in algebraic language as a given quantity.
—Thomas Robert Malthus (English Political Economist)

The secret to living is giving.
—Tony Robbins (American Self-Help Author)

The Hidden Influence of Association

March 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The “Law” of Association, a maxim popularized by motivational gurus Jack Canfield and Jim Rohn, implies that you’ll become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

This is to say, empirically, everything about you is the average of the five people you hang around most. For instance, your happiness level will be the average of the five of your best mates.

If you want to raise the quality of your life, rub shoulders with people already living the quality of life you aspire to. To become a better communicator, hobnob with great communicators. If you want to be more positive, mix with more optimistic individuals. If you want to be a fabulous parent, spend time with parents who’ve mastered the art.

Birds of a feather flock together … because they share a common vision, and they’re all going in the same direction. So if you’re pursuing a goal, find the people who’ve already attained that goal or are well along the path to achieving that goal. Then be with them, hoping some of their principles rub off on you.

Idea for Impact: In regards to relationships, we’re greatly influenced—whether we like it or not—by those closest to us. Get out there and connect with those whose lives you want to live. Those connections can pay off careerwise and personally.

A Mental Model to Help You Cut Your Losses

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