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How Smart People Undermine Their Success

July 1, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How Smart People Undermine Their Success Intelligence is a double-edged sword: sure, it’s got its perks, but sometimes it trips up even the brainiest of folks. Brainiacs may find themselves falling short of their goals due to inadvertently undermining their own efforts. Making it big in most jobs needs more than just smarts.

Bright minds often view their success as inevitable, sometimes overlooking the importance of other skills. For example, they may dismiss workplace diplomacy as an annoyance rather than recognizing its importance. No matter how tactful they are, their braininess can still put a damper on slower teammates. They get antsy dealing with processes and people who are not on their level. They might choose to work solo, thinking they can get things done faster that way. Additionally, they may be less receptive to feedback, especially when they feel confident in their approach.

Focusing solely on what you’re good at, especially if it’s brains, can backfire big time if you ignore your weak spots. Seek a caring mentor who can clue you in on how people see you, dial down that ego, and adjust your expectations—try to become the respected star of the team, not the reviled know-it-all.

If you find yourself always toning down your smarts to fit in, maybe it’s time to find a workplace where they actually dig your brainpower. Look for employers who value intellect, such as think tanks, universities, investment banking firms, law and consulting companies, and professions where they’re all about flexing those mental muscles.

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Confidence, Getting Ahead, Getting Along, Humility, Likeability, Listening, Personality

How to … Deal with Less Intelligent People

June 10, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to ... Deal with Less Intelligent People Dealing with those whose smarts don’t match yours can quickly grate on your nerves.

When you feel that frustration bubbling up because someone isn’t quite on the same page intellectually, try stepping into their shoes with a bit of empathy.

Not everyone’s as sharp as you, and that’s okay. Picture it like they’re working with a bit of a handicap—they may not have had the same opportunities in life as you. This mindset helps you respond with kindness, not anger or snark.

Put yourself in their position: imagine you’re in Sicily, trying out a beginner’s cooking class with zero kitchen skills. Even with your smarts, you’re struggling with basics like chopping veggies and frying herbs in olive oil. It’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? You’d want your expert teacher to be understanding and cut you some slack as you learn the ropes.

Always consider the self-esteem of individuals who may not be as intellectually sharp as you when engaging with them. Nobody enjoys feeling unintelligent, especially when it’s implied or expressed by you.

If someone messes up or says something silly, offer reassurance with a casual “Hey, we all goof up sometimes. No worries!” If you have a better idea, gently suggest, “I’m not sure if this will work, but what do you think about trying something else?”

Remember what Dale Carnegie said in his classic How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936): making people feel good about themselves keeps things positive. And you’ll leave your interaction with a sense of satisfaction knowing that you’ve handled the situation with compassion and integrity.

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Living the Good Life, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Conflict, Getting Along, Likeability, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Relationships, Social Skills, Wisdom

How Focusing On Communication Skills Can Improve Your Career Prospects

May 26, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Communication skills are critical to your success at work, regardless of your position or sector.

Every profession necessitates human connection, whether with your boss and coworkers or with clients and customers. Strong communication skills may assist in facilitating these relationships with others, allowing you to work more efficiently and successfully.

How Focusing On Communication Skills Can Improve Your Career Prospects

Do you want to enhance your communication skills? Below, we explain the significance of corporate communication skills and highlight the most significant talents that you should focus on improving.

Why are good communication skills so vital?

You may be asking why communication skills are so crucial. This is because effective communication encourages teamwork and simplifies collaboration. Your strong communication skills are transferable to every field, and they will always help you advance in your career.

Effective communication implies that supervisors and teammates are constantly together, and there are no communication problems at work. When working remotely, effective communication is critical for efficiency.

Why is it vital to improve your communication skills?

One of the most significant benefits is that you will communicate more effectively with others. At work, you must interact with a variety of people. Good communication abilities will benefit you to communicate more effectively with your coworkers and advance in your profession, no matter if you are employed as a specialist of a call center and are keen on improving the metrics that matter or CEO of a giant corporation.

Top communication skills for workplace success

1. Active listening

Listening, particularly active listening, is an important communication ability because it allows you to pay attention to others around you and respond properly. This can help you in practically any situation, whether you’re looking for an entry-level job or the position of CEO.

2. Being presentable

This includes both you and your thoughts. The majority of our communication is through nonverbal clues. Positive and open body language are crucial communication skills that can help you engage your audience during presentations and share ideas or discuss projects.

3. Understanding communication styles

There are four major communication styles that you may meet in the workplace, and professionals should be aware of all of them to support good communication. They are:

  • Passive communicators are quieter and less likely to reveal their actual sentiments. They can be indifferent or pleasant, based on the occasion, to preserve the peace and avoid upsetting anyone.
  • Aggressive communicators are the polar opposite of quiet communicators; they frequently express their feelings without regard for others. They may be threatening or harsh in their relations with others.
  • Passive-aggressive communicators try to look distant, even if they are irritated or annoyed. They are upset, but because they avoid confrontation, it is difficult to know what they are thinking.
  • Assertive communicators are attentive and straightforwardly communicate themselves. They engage respectfully with others.

4. Self-confidence

If you wonder “What are excellent communication abilities?” self-confidence goes out on top. When you are confident in sharing your views and ideas, you create a greater impact on the individuals you engage with.

Self-assurance is one of the most crucial interpersonal abilities you can develop, but there is a narrow line between confidence and overconfidence that you should never cross.

5. Respect

This implies that for constructive communication to occur between you and your target group, there should be mutual respect. Being tolerant of other people’s opinions and their rights to speak out their opinions can also be considered as another form of way of showing respect.

6. Emotional response

Emotional intelligence is one form of communication that is essential in the development of healthy working relationships. Communicating distress experiences relieves stress and maintains happiness.

This is a skill that one has to work hard to develop but when one does, he or she will start to notice positive changes in the ways they communicate.

7. Staying current with the latest communication technology

Online communication and collaboration technologies are more common in today’s business. Modern organizations frequently employ chat and video conferencing software to keep team members in touch.

Digital communication is becoming increasingly popular, and staying up to speed on the latest technology is critical for effective communication.

How to improve your communication skills?

If you want to improve your communication abilities, here are some tips.

Being a careful observer of communication dynamics at work is a wonderful method to improve your communication abilities.

Formal schooling may also be a very effective technique for improving your communication abilities. Earning a master’s degree in communications, for example, provides workers with a slew of career perks, including more employment opportunities, greater pay, job stability, and other advantages.

The Power of Communication in Shaping Your Success

Effective communication is an essential component of personal and professional development. It’s a talent that can create or break relationships, sway choices, and alter our world. Understanding the power of body language, harnessing technology, mastering the art of storytelling, and creating trust are all aspects of communication that hold the key to unlocking new prospects.

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

How to … Care Less About What Other People Think

February 29, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Mastering Self-Liberation: Care Less About Others' Opinions Are you spending too much time worrying about others’ opinions of you? Studies show that we consistently and needlessly overestimate how much—and how badly—others think about our failings.

While seeking acceptance is natural, it’s essential not to become overly focused on pleasing others or taking rejection personally. Challenge social norms and maintain a balanced perspective.

By regularly bring your focus back on the bigger picture (“What do I want?”) and daring to go against the tide, you’ll find that others’ opinions have less sway over you. This shift reduces overgeneralization and premature conclusions.

When faced with criticism, assess whether the criticism is fair and warranted. If upon reflection, you find that the criticism holds merit and aligns with your values or goals, it may be beneficial to consider making changes or adjustments accordingly. However, if after careful consideration, you determine that the criticism is unjustified or does not resonate with your beliefs or objectives, don’t let it affect you negatively.

Be mindful of your thoughts and interrogate them. Don’t allow assumptions about others’ perceptions to dictate your actions. Often, what you fear others are judging you for exists solely in your imagination.

Idea for Impact: Know what matters to you personally—what you stand for, what your values are. Persuade yourself to become more competent in the skills and fields that matter to you. This attitude will enhance your self-confidence and develop a strong and positive self-image.

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Confidence, Conflict, Conviction, Getting Along, Likeability, Mindfulness, Social Life

Bringing out the Best in People through Positive Reinforcement

February 5, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Aubrey C. Daniels’s Bringing out the Best in People: How to Apply the Astonishing Power of Positive Reinforcement (2016) stands out as one of the most practical and comprehensive handbooks I’ve encountered on effective management techniques by a behavioral psychologist.

'Bringing Out the Best in People' by Aubrey Daniels (ISBN 1259644901) Central to Daniels’s approach is a management system rooted in positive reinforcement, which he argues leads to significant and measurable outcomes in both the short and long term. He contrasts this with traditional methods of punishment and criticism, which he finds to be ineffective and counterproductive. Instead, he advocates for praise and rewards to drive lasting behavioral change and enhance productivity. Drawing on principles from behavioral psychology, the book provides actionable strategies for implementing positive reinforcement effectively, fostering an environment of appreciation and support, and unlocking individuals’ full potential. Now in its third edition, it also offers insights into organizational change and establishing fair performance standards tailored to each person.

Here are some key takeaways from the book:

  • Incentives Drive Behavior. People don’t do what you tell them; they do what gets them a reward. “Managers must understand why people behave as they do with the same depth that scientists understand gravity” and align desired behavior with organizational objectives. Don’t “find fault or place blame, but analyze why people are behaving as they are, and modify the incentives to promote the behavior you need.”
  • Value What They Value. Positive reinforcement proves to be the most effective method for motivating individuals. It extends beyond mere monetary rewards or verbal praise; it encompasses anything of value to an employee. For instance, allowing an employee to dedicate some time to working on a favorite feature can serve as a form of reinforcement.
  • Consistency Shapes Behavior. Positive reinforcement has to be an everyday affair. It is most effective when it occurs immediately, is specific, and happens frequently. (Studies indicate that children with ADD and learning disabilities can maintain focus for extended periods while playing video games that offer 85 positive reinforcements per minute.)
  • Pure Praise, No Prompts. Positive reinforcement loses its effectiveness when followed by criticism (such as in “but, you need to improve X, Y, Z”) or suggestions for improvement because it dilutes the impact of the praise and can create confusion or mixed signals for the individual receiving feedback. “Do not use the occasion for praise as an opportunity to prompt or instruct.” The popular sandwich feedback technique has many pitfalls.
  • Bringing out the Best in People through Positive Reinforcement Regular Talks = Better Performance. Plan, give feedback, and adapt weekly. Hold weekly planning and feedback sessions. Relying solely on monthly reinforcement offers only 12 chances per year to influence someone’s performance. The annual review and bonus process doesn’t give employees the chance to make adjustments when it’s most crucial.
  • Reward High Performers; Redirect Others. Managers should prioritize recognizing and reinforcing the efforts of high-performing employees rather than solely focusing on addressing issues with underperformers. When dealing with employees who are not performing well, allocate a limited amount of time to address factors such as lack of necessary skills or abilities, inherent personality traits, or deep-seated behavioral patterns. However, if despite considerable effort there is only marginal improvement, it’s best to minimize losses by suggesting that their strengths may be better utilized in a different role. Assist them in finding a position that suits them better.
  • Continuously Refreshed Goals = Fresh Motivation. After reaching a goal, individuals may lose motivation due to complacency, like students after an “A” grade. To combat this, set new goals, offer feedback, recognition, and incentives, and foster a culture of continuous improvement to sustain motivation and drive progress.
  • Coercion Kills Motivation. An authoritarian or coercive “do it or else” demand typically only prompts individuals to perform at the minimum level required because it instills fear or compliance rather than genuine motivation. When faced with threats or coercion, people often focus on avoiding punishment rather than striving for excellence. This approach stifles creativity, initiative, and intrinsic motivation, resulting in minimal effort and limited engagement.
  • Clear Targets, Unstoppable Momentum. To motivate employees, establish a transparent method for measuring achievement. This encourages self-motivation. For instance, a software programmer’s performance could be measured by the number of bugs fixed, with extra recognition for addressing severe issues, or by the volume of documentation produced.

Recommendation: Quickread Aubrey C. Daniels’s Bringing out the Best in People. The book thoroughly reinforces principles and highlights the transformative impact of recognizing and reinforcing desired behaviors, benefiting both individuals and organizations. Enhance your team management by implementing systems and structures that effectively reinforce individuals in alignment with organizational goals.

Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People, MBA in a Nutshell Tagged With: Coaching, Employee Development, Feedback, Great Manager, Human Resources, Mentoring, Performance Management

The Problem with Hiring Smart People

January 23, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Smart people are puzzled by initial resistance and slow uptake Hiring smart individuals indeed adds valuable intellectual capital to organizations, but it also brings about unique challenges. The struggle emerges as these individuals try to grasp why their brilliant ideas face initial resistance and why others don’t catch on as quickly.

Smart individuals become frustrated when dealing with skeptics among their colleagues, having to invest precious time in aligning the team without coming off as bossy—especially when collaborating with peers over whom they lack direct authority. The aggravation intensifies as they would prefer to generate more genius ideas than get caught up in the challenge of convincing others about concepts that seem like a no-brainer to them.

Idea for Impact: Smart folks, don’t overlook relationship-building skills; intelligence isn’t everything for your goals.

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Communication, Conflict, Getting Along, Hiring & Firing, Negotiation, Persuasion

When Implementing Change, You’ll Encounter These Three Types Of People

April 6, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'Change is like a Slinky' by Hans Finzel (ISBN 1881273687) To successfully make changes in your workplace, you’ll need to have everyone on board. But don’t try to get them all to accept change at once. Not everyone responds to change similarly; some employees will not react well to it initially.

According to Hans Finzel’s Change is Like a Slinky Paperback (2004,) you must anticipate your allies and adversaries. Determine which of these three groups each of your employees belongs to and adapt.

  1. The Innovators and Early Adopters. Some people love the challenge of change for its excitement and the opportunity to spearhead change. These employees can research the topic, develop prototypes, and act as “change ambassadors” to motivate people further down the hierarchy.
  2. The Careful Majority. Most employees will support change once they’re reasonably confident it’ll succeed. Demonstrate to skeptics what the change will represent and how it will benefit them and the company. Acknowledge concerns—both the spoken and unspoken—and the discomfort of being in unfamiliar territory while focusing on what’s within their control. Eventually, the majority will follow the early adopters’ lead.
  3. The Holdouts. A few employees may resist—and even sabotage—change because they feel uncomfortable about it, don’t believe in it, or can’t see any benefits in it for themselves. If their contentions are worth the time and energy to debate and discuss, make a fair effort to gain alignment on perspective and resolution on position, but be firm with your strategic direction. Get key organizational leaders to give these dissenters reasons and opportunities to get on board, but let them know the price if they don’t accept change.

Idea for Impact: The best managers understand that each employee has different skills, sentiments, wants and needs—and work to put each employee in a position to feel valued and contribute.

Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Assertiveness, Change Management, Goals, Great Manager, Persuasion, Workplace

Don’t Surround Yourself with People Like Yourself

November 9, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It’s easier to hire people you naturally feel comfortable with, and you’ll feel most comfortable with people who remind you of yourself and your in-group. This is instinctive—it’s part of what psychologists identify as implicit bias.

However, clone-hiring initiates groupthink. There’s much value in surrounding yourself with others who are not like you—people who may make you feel a little uncomfortable and bring a different perspective. As the Bay-Area career coach Marty Nemko cautions, “We find comfort among those who agree with us, growth among those who don’t.”

To build a team with diverse talents, look for people with complementary skills and agreeable temperaments. As I explained in my article on competency modeling, identify the traits, characteristics, and behaviors in the star performers on your team and not in the average performers. Then, hire and promote people who have demonstrated the distinct traits and behaviors of the star performers.

Idea for Impact: Don’t try to hire clones. Instead, look for people who’re a complement. You need people less like you and more of a complement to you. Compatibility is not about being similar in nature; it’s about co-existing and thriving in harmony.

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Critical Thinking, Decision-Making, Diversity, Hiring & Firing, Human Resources, Social Skills

How to Develop Customer Service Skills // Summary of Lee Cockerell’s ‘The Customer Rules’

July 13, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Becoming great at customer service doesn’t require you to excel at a zillion things. You’ll just need to identify the core principles and get the basics right.

“At the end of the day, everything a business leader does is in the service of customer service … the customer always rules, and there are Rules for winning customers, keeping customers, and turning loyal customers into advocates and emissaries for your business,” writes Lee Cockerell in his prescriptive manual on The Customer Rules: The 39 Essential Rules for Delivering Sensational Service (2013.)

Cockerell is a veteran of the hospitality industry and an eminent corporate trailer. He spent eight years with Hilton, 17 years with Marriott, and 16 years with the Walt Disney. Before retirement, he was the executive vice president of operations at Walt Disney World in Florida and oversaw the resort’s 40,000 employees at 20 hotels, four theme parks, and two water parks.

Non-obvious Customer Service Insights

Cockerell structures his guidebook along 39 tips to serve customers with consistency, efficiency, creativity, and sincerity. He glosses over everything—hiring right, communicating a clear and relevant customer promise, fostering a customer-oriented culture, and creating a superior employee experience. Those employees can deliver a great customer experience, respond to complaints, and practice verbal skills to express empathy.

  • Make customer service every employee’s responsibility. Everything every employee does can have tremendous repercussions on the service your customers receive, and therefore your bottom line. “Pay close attention to every decision you make, every policy you announce, every procedure you introduce, every person you hire, every promotion you award, every e-mail you send, every conversation you have, every hand you shake, and every back you slap.”
  • You win customers one at a time and lose them a thousand at a time. Satisfied customers will spread the word only if they’re truly blown away their experience. Angry customers are “far more motivated to shout about their feelings, and furious exposes get a lot more attention than glowing testimonials. Humans are wired to pay more attention to the negative than the positive.”
  • Anticipate your customers’ needs. Discover what customers aren’t getting from your competitors and give it to them. Customers’ problems are a good source of business innovations. “Great businesses stand out by being different from the rest in the right way: by finding customer needs that are going unmet and figuring out a way to meet them.”
  • Keep an eye on your competitors. Be a copycat. Look outside your industry for great ideas and tweak them for their own purposes. “Don’t just imitate; pay attention to everything around you, spot the best ideas, and then find a better way to apply them.”
  • Treat customers the way you’d treat your loved ones. “First and last impressions have a tremendous influence on a customer’s lasting impression. A cheery hello and a sincere good-bye can leave a customer with a memory of a positive experience, regardless of what happens in between.”
  • Treat every customer like a regular. Familiarity breeds repeat business. “Do whatever you can to make regular customers feel like family and new customers feel like regulars. Remember the theme song from the TV series Cheers? Don’t you want to go “where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came”? Make all your customers feel that you’re really glad they came.”
  • Prioritize WIN, “what’s important now,” your customers’ immediate needs, desires, and concerns. “Even a nod, a gesture, some brief eye contact, a pleasant “I’ll be right with you. Please make yourself comfortable”—that’s all it takes. People want to be acknowledged.”
  • Surprise your customers with a little extra when they least expect it. Neuroscientists have confirmed that the human brain “craves the excitement of surprise. The region of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, aka the pleasure center, experiences more activation when a pleasurable stimulus comes unexpectedly than it does when the same pleasure is predictable. “So if you get a present for your birthday, that’s nice. But you’ll like it a lot more if you get a present and it’s not your birthday.””
  • Don’t try too hard. “Being excessively solicitous and eager to please is annoying.” It makes you seem phony. “Think how annoying it is when a server at a restaurant stops by your table every five minutes to ask if everything’s okay with your meal.” No one likes to be pestered constantly. “If your customers have to stifle the urge to scream, “Go away!” or, “Leave us alone!” you’re trying too hard.”

Recommendation: Read Lee Cockerell’s The Customer Rules. With plenty of anecdotes, experiences, and very short no-nonsense chapters, this book is an enjoyable summary of the many simple—but often overlooked—first principles of building a customer-oriented culture and delivering great customer service.

Filed Under: Career Development, Mental Models Tagged With: Coaching, Courtesy, Customer Service, Human Resources, Likeability, Performance Management

A Trick to Help you Praise At Least Three People Every Day

July 2, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Scott Adams, the American cartoonist who created Dilbert, writes in How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big (2013),

Children are accustomed to a continual stream of criticisms and praise, but adults can go weeks without a compliment while enduring criticism both at work and at home. Adults are starved for a kind word. When you understand the power of honest praise (as opposed to bullshitting, flattery, and sucking up), you realize that withholding it borders on immoral. If you see something that impresses you, a decent respect to humanity insists you voice your praise.

Lavish Praise on People and They’ll Flourish

In his masterful self-help manual, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), Dale Carnegie quotes the American steel magnate Charles M Schwab who was renowned for his people skills,

I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people, the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. …

I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise. …

I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.

Carnegie suggests, “Be lavish with praise, but only in a genuine way … remember, we all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it. But nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery.”

How to Praise No Less Than Three People Every Day

Here’s a simple, effective technique to unleash the power of praise and honest appreciation:

  • Start each day with three coins in your left pocket.
  • Transfer one coin to your right pocket each time you praise someone or remark about something favorably. See my previous article on how to recognize people in six easy steps.
  • Make sure that you have all the three coins in your right pocket by the end of the day, but don’t give compliments willy-nilly.

Avoid flattery and pretentiousness, especially when someone thinks that they truly don’t deserve the praise. As well, don’t undercut praise with criticism (as in a sandwich feedback.)

Idea for Impact: If you can’t be bothered with opportunities to elevate others’ day with a few simple words of appreciation, perhaps you’re just too insecure or emotional stingy. Even if praise is directed on others, it emphasizes your own good character—it shows you’re can go beyond self-absorption in the self-consumed society that we live in.

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Communication, Conversations, Courtesy, Etiquette, Getting Along, Likeability, Personality, Relationships, Social Skills

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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