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Beyond Mansplaining’s Veil

July 13, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

“Mansplaining,” commonly associated with a condescending and chauvinistic attitude, traditionally refers to situations where men unnecessarily and patronizingly explain things to women, often silencing their voices.

However, the term “mansplaining” has been extensively used in recent years to the point where it sometimes carries connotations of “reverse sexism.” It’s often employed without carefully considering the validity of men’s opinions, resulting in the dismissal or belittlement of their arguments. It’s worth noting that both men and women can internalize sexist beliefs and attitudes due to societal conditioning.

While it’s true that many men exhibit patronizing and rude behavior, assuming that such mannerisms are exclusively a male trait is an oversimplification. Contempt can be seen across genders; it’s a flaw that goes beyond gender boundaries. Men interrupt and talk down to each other in debates. Some individuals, regardless of gender, treat everyone with the same interrupting and condescending tone—it’s simply their communication style. Therefore, the communication issue lies in “human-splaining,” and making generalizations solely based on gender is unfair and unproductive.

Furthermore, the term “mansplaining” is often carelessly used out of frustration and anger, becoming a convenient way to dismiss any man expressing an opinion or insisting on a viewpoint during a debate.

Idea for Impact: Let’s reserve the label for situations where it’s genuinely warranted and instead focus on addressing the underlying issue of unequal valuing of men’s and women’s words. Let’s examine entitlement and the impact of patriarchal structures. Engaging in productive dialogue is far more effective than resorting to gratuitous dismissals.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Biases, Conflict, Diversity, Getting Along, Listening, Social Dynamics, Workplace

Treat Employees Like Volunteers

April 20, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Treat your employees as volunteers—as if they’re free to leave at any time. Volunteers want to connect to a mission. They want to make an impact by investing their time and energy because they want to, not because they need to. Moreover, unlike employees, volunteers aren’t constrained by the command-and-control structure.

You’ll pay greater attention to the non-monetary needs of your employees, and you’ll better align your goals and their goals. You’ll be more intentional, preferring transformational motivation, not transactional motivation.

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  5. Seven Easy Ways to Motivate Employees and Increase Productivity

Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People Tagged With: Great Manager, Human Resources, Motivation, Performance Management, Workplace

When Implementing Change, You’ll Encounter These Three Types Of People

April 6, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'Change is like a Slinky' by Hans Finzel (ISBN 1881273687) To successfully make changes in your workplace, you’ll need to have everyone on board. But don’t try to get them all to accept change at once. Not everyone responds to change similarly; some employees will not react well to it initially.

According to Hans Finzel’s Change is Like a Slinky Paperback (2004,) you must anticipate your allies and adversaries. Determine which of these three groups each of your employees belongs to and adapt.

  1. The Innovators and Early Adopters. Some people love the challenge of change for its excitement and the opportunity to spearhead change. These employees can research the topic, develop prototypes, and act as “change ambassadors” to motivate people further down the hierarchy.
  2. The Careful Majority. Most employees will support change once they’re reasonably confident it’ll succeed. Demonstrate to skeptics what the change will represent and how it will benefit them and the company. Acknowledge concerns—both the spoken and unspoken—and the discomfort of being in unfamiliar territory while focusing on what’s within their control. Eventually, the majority will follow the early adopters’ lead.
  3. The Holdouts. A few employees may resist—and even sabotage—change because they feel uncomfortable about it, don’t believe in it, or can’t see any benefits in it for themselves. If their contentions are worth the time and energy to debate and discuss, make a fair effort to gain alignment on perspective and resolution on position, but be firm with your strategic direction. Get key organizational leaders to give these dissenters reasons and opportunities to get on board, but let them know the price if they don’t accept change.

Idea for Impact: The best managers understand that each employee has different skills, sentiments, wants and needs—and work to put each employee in a position to feel valued and contribute.

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Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Assertiveness, Change Management, Goals, Great Manager, Persuasion, Workplace

These are the Two Best Employee Engagement Questions

March 30, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Engaged employees are more likely to be effective, stay with your company, and nurture a favorable corporate culture. To gauge employee engagement levels regularly, run a pulse survey and ask these two questions:

  1. To what degree are you proactively engaged in improving the tasks you’re responsible for? Does your workplace actively seek your ideas to make those improvements?
  2. To what degree do the processes that you are working with enable you to be highly successful in your job?

Seek ideas meaningful for improvements from people on the job. Demonstrate commitment to taking significant action and follow through.

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  3. Treat Employees Like Volunteers
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  5. From the Inside Out: How Empowering Your Employees Builds Customer Loyalty

Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People, MBA in a Nutshell Tagged With: Great Manager, Human Resources, Leadership, Motivation, Performance Management, Workplace

Co-Workation Defeats Work-Life Balance

January 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

There’s a new workplace “wellness” movement, and travel agencies are touting it big-time.

“Workation” or “work on holidays” (WoH) invites employees to lug their work laptops along to their holiday spots, find decent Wi-Fi, and peg away full-time for a few days.

At first glance, untethering from the physical office and conventional business hours seems like a liberating lifestyle perk. But co-workations are a further erosion of work-life balance, and they’re bad for business. Here’s why.

Co-Workations subvert the very purpose of a holiday: to check out, disconnect, and recharge the batteries. Co-Workations means getting work calls at four in the morning if you’re in a different time zone than the rest of your team. Instead of feeling overworked, stressed, and deadline-obsessed at your cubicle, co-workations encourage you to feel overworked, stressed, and deadline-obsessed while lounging in a hammock surrounded by a bunch of people gaudily enjoying themselves by not working.

A practical way to encourage employees to set boundaries between their personal and professional lives is by simply not asking them to work while on vacation. Many people don’t have the self-discipline for the “psychological detachment” that’s indispensable to rest and refresh.

Idea for Impact: Inviting—empowering even—employees to check in on their work responsibilities is a slippery slope. There’s an expectation that they are more generous with their personal time and consent to being badgered on days off. Besides, when senior managers don’t truly take a vacation, they set a cultural precedent for how others should use their time away from their desks.

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance, Mindfulness, Stress, Work-Life, Workplace

Listen and Involve

August 22, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

All too often, leaders live in a culture of telling. They see their role as instructing others what to do, to plow through by compliance. But true leadership is eliciting commitment.

People want their thinking to count. If there’s a better way to carry out a task, they want to be able to identify it and put it into action. They’re more spurred to prevail at a challenge if they have a commitment to their work by their own volition. Hence, leaders should engage their people in choosing the goals the group needs to accomplish.

Idea for Impact: Leaders who play a participative management style derive enormous rewards in efficiency and work quality. Find opportunities to have direct conversations with individual employees and teams about what can be done to improve effectiveness.

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Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People Tagged With: Coaching, Feedback, Likeability, Persuasion, Workplace

How to … Deal with a Colleague Who Talks Too Much

August 18, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If a coworker has a habit of talking incessantly—mostly about his personal life—and doesn’t heed when you hint you can’t be distracted from work at the moment, address your frustrations directly and respectfully.

When you think he’s ready to listen, have a chat privately and make him aware of the issue. Say, “I like conversing with you, but sometimes you keep talking even after I tell you I need to get back to work. Often, I feel pinned down. Could you please heed when I say our visit impedes my work?” You may add, “I’d always be happy to talk to you when I’m less busy or over a drink in the evening.”

This talk may be briefly awkward for both of you, but so are most tough conversations. Often, problems are best nipped in the bud.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Conflict, Conversations, Etiquette, Feedback, Workplace

Don’t Manage with Fear

June 16, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The ability to rouse fear has forever been an essential tool of management. Fear can be an effective mobilization tool in the short term. But fear breeds complicity, not commitment.

Instead of fear-based tactics, try soft power. Build trust and gain influence using these methods.

  1. Develop an inspiring vision. Work hard to follow through on implementing that vision and celebrate even little accomplishments along the way.
  2. Communicate expectations. Ask, “How can I help you do your job better?” Follow up. No need to keep everything too close to the vest. You needn’t tell everything you know, but what you say and do has to be true.
  3. Solve problems quickly. Push for results. Set aside some time for review and create options or actions that are apt for your team’s situation. Be tough where you must be, kind where you can be.

Idea for Impact: Don’t take the fear approach with employees. With motivation, fear works—up to a point. Understand how your people view your leadership style and ensure your behavior doesn’t cross the line between pushing them hard and pushing them away.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Difference between Directive and Non-Directive Coaching
  2. Why Your Employees Don’t Trust You—and What to Do About it
  3. Listen and Involve
  4. To Micromanage or Not?
  5. What Knowledge Workers Want Most: Management-by-Exception

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Leading Teams, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Coaching, Feedback, Human Resources, Likeability, Manipulation, Persuasion, Relationships, Workplace

Direction + Autonomy = Engagement

May 26, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The best way to achieve results as a manager is to give your team clear objectives and then allow them to approach the tasks in whatever manner that makes sense. You can suggest deadlines, schedule check-in appointments, and make yourself available for questions. People tend to take more pride in their work when they aren’t micro-managed. Delegate results when you can and interfere only when you must.

Observe the strengths and weaknesses of each employee and assign tasks based on what will allow each individual to thrive. When employees feel invested in a task, whether because they volunteered for it or because it employs their strengths, they are more likely to take ownership of their work and excel on the project. Have faith in your employees’ ingenuity and give them much latitude in how they do things.

Idea for Impact: Often, the most potent motivator for employees isn’t money—it’s the opportunity to learn, expand responsibilities, contribute and gain appreciation, and be recognized for achievements.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Coaching, Feedback, Great Manager, Management, Mentoring, Performance Management, Workplace

Learning from Bad Managers

April 28, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It’s always nice to have great bosses who’ll teach you many things the easy way. However, you’ll have a boss who’s bad for you at some stage in your career. Bad bosses come in all forms: tyrants, abrasive, unprincipled, insensitive, indecisive, inconsistent, unfair, uncaring, arrogant, insensitive, quick-tempered, manipulative, apathetic, and so on.

If you’re perceptive, you can learn more from these bad examples than you’ll from the great bosses you’ll work for. Remember the axiom: “No one is totally worthless; you can always serve as a bad example.”

When you have a bad boss, ask yourself, what things about this boss will you commit to never doing? Make a list and refer to it occasionally. Avoiding doing these things will help you be a better boss—and be a positive role model for others.

Idea for Impact: Bad bosses can become useful teachers precisely because they provide some of the best lessons in what not to do that you’ll ever be offered. Take it upon yourself to never be like your bad boss.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Balance, Feedback, Getting Along, Learning, Managing the Boss, Relationships, Wisdom, Workplace

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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