20 Reasons People Don’t Change

If you have trouble getting people to change, perhaps one—or more—of the following reasons are to blame:

1. They don’t want to change … they find reassurance in the status quo
2. Their environment is holding them back
3. They’ve tried to change in the past, failed, and have given up
4. Your coaching / feedback is garbled … the benefits of change are unclear
5. They don’t react well to criticism
6. They’re suspicious of your motives (i.e. fear of manipulation)
7. They see little incentive to change
8. They don’t know how to change
9. They have no role models
10. There’s no support (or resources) for change
11. Change threatens their self-image
12. They can’t tell what’s really important
13. They don’t feel courageous enough … i.e. they fear failure
14. They don’t feel enough pain yet
15. They’re overconfident or arrogant
16. They fear their weaknesses will be exposed
17. They’re too lazy and undisciplined
18. Change requires giving up something they presently value
19. They resist change that’s imposed from outside … i.e. they’re not intrinsically motivated for change
20. Change undermines their self-confidence

Idea for Impact: Temper your expectations of others. Old habits die hard. Even Einstein’s doctor couldn’t get the great physicist to quit smoking despite his deteriorating health.

Be realistic about changing others’ hearts and minds. If you can learn to accept them for who they are and let go of your conceptions of their perfection, your relationships become more richer.