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10 Things That Are Holding You Back

April 14, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Conquer the Mental and Habitual Barriers Keeping You Stuck The biggest obstacles in your way aren’t out there; they’re in your head—and in your habits. Drop them, or they’ll drag you.

  1. The Need to Be Right. Your ego is holding you back. Let go of the need to prove yourself and embrace learning from others.
  2. Control. Trying to control everything keeps you stuck. Surrender and trust the process.
  3. Blame—it’s a trap. Own your choices, and free yourself to move forward.
  4. Self-Doubt. Negative self-talk limits your potential. Silence doubt and empower yourself to grow.
  5. Impressing Others. Seeking approval is draining. Live authentically, not for others’ validation.
  6. Excuses. They block progress. Take responsibility and make things happen.
  7. Living for Others’ Expectations. You’re not living someone else’s life. Pursue your dreams, not theirs.
  8. Perfection. Chasing perfection slows you down. Embrace progress, not flawless outcomes.
  9. The Past. The past is history. Focus on the present and shape your future.
  10. Fear of Failure. Fear keeps you stuck. See failure as growth and move forward with confidence.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Decision-Making, Discipline, Fear, Introspection, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Psychology, Success, Therapy

Beyond Money’s Grasp: A Deeper Drive to Success

January 13, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Beyond Money's Grasp: A Deeper Drive to Success

Successful individuals often find themselves driven to excel long after the allure of material rewards has waned. In the early stages of a career, financial concerns often take center stage. Young professionals are preoccupied with using disposable income to repay student loans, cover daily expenses, engage in some indulgent spending, and lay the foundation for financial stability. As their careers progress, however, there’s a noticeable shift in the importance of money. This transformation varies among individuals, but nearly everyone reaches a point where the stress of bills and even luxury desires diminishes, only to be supplanted by a need for what sociologists call psychic income.

For the ultra-successful, wealth accrues at a pace that outpaces practical spending. Their life becomes abundant, yet paradoxically, time feels limited. They have the means to pursue their passions but lack the time to do so. What truly captivates these successful people are factors that transcend monetary gain. Inspiration is fueled by ego, a sense of passion, and personal fulfillment—it thrives on the stimulation of challenges and the sheer joy of the journey. Success is rooted in a sense of mastery, achievement, and making a meaningful impact.

For those still on the path to success, a valuable lesson emerges: what many successful people value about their careers when they’re already successful mirrors the same qualities they sought throughout their professional journey. When climbing the corporate ladder, they didn’t gravitate toward safe, high-paying positions. Instead, they pursued challenging opportunities, and these ventures proved to be profoundly rewarding.

Idea for Impact: Success is a complex and personal concept, shaped by a blend of factors that align with one’s values and aspirations. Once you’re no longer a slave to the coin’s cruel reign, you’ll discover the true wellsprings of inspiration—an invitation to a richer and more purpose-driven existence.

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Filed Under: Career Development, Living the Good Life, Personal Finance Tagged With: Balance, Career Planning, Getting Rich, Happiness, Money, Pursuits, Success, Winning on the Job, Work-Life

Get Started, Passion Comes Later: A Case Study of Chipotle’s Founder, Steve Ells

September 2, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Get Started, Passion Comes Later The notion of directly pursuing your passion can seem daunting, particularly if you’re uncertain about identifying your true calling or how it could translate into a feasible career path. The tale of Chipotle and its founder Steve Ells serves as a fitting illustration of this dilemma.

After graduating from arts college, Ells headed to the Culinary Institute of America, where he fell in love with cooking. Initially, he dreamed of opening a fancy restaurant, but the funds weren’t there.

During the early 1990s, Ells embarked on a culinary journey, starting as a sous chef under renowned chef Jeremiah Towers at San Francisco’s upscale Stars restaurant. It was during this time that the idea for Chipotle began to take shape. Inspired by the delectable “mission-style” burritos he savored in San Francisco’s Mission District taquerias, Ells seized the opportunity. With an $85,000 loan from his father, he ventured to establish the inaugural Chipotle eatery in 1993, nestled in Denver, Colorado.

Ells’s father, crunching the numbers, estimated that his son would need to sell 107 burritos daily to break even. However, the response exceeded expectations. Within the inaugural month, Chipotle was churning out 1,000 burritos a day. This swift success unveiled Ells’s true calling. He realized his passion lay not in haute cuisine but in the realm of delivering delectable, freshly-prepared Mexican fare swiftly. Chipotle garnered a devoted following for its scrumptious offerings, rapid service, and unwavering commitment to sustainable sourcing.

Idea for Impact: Starting with an exploratory approach is often wiser than waiting for the perfect alignment with your passion. Dabble in different areas, adapt your goals over time, and stay open to new opportunities. Sometimes, passion emerges along the journey, leading to unexpected yet fulfilling paths.

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Filed Under: Career Development, Great Personalities, Sharpening Your Skills, The Great Innovators Tagged With: Career Planning, Entrepreneurs, Personal Growth, Pursuits, Success, Winning on the Job

How to Feel More Beautiful

December 11, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Some people base too much of their self-esteem on how they look. They’ll go to great lengths to preserve how good they think they look.

But props aren’t the real beauty. Props are just accessories.

Beauty should be more than meeting some subjective, media-defined, Kardashians- prototyped notion of what’s attractive. Ultimately, the verb “make up” suggests compensating for something missing or deficient.

Arguably beauty is admittedly a worthy aspiration. There is no virtue at all in eschewing good looks or those perceived to have them. Indeed, western philosophy usually considers beauty among the absolute human values—along with goodness, gentleness, self-control, truth, and justice.

However, you shouldn’t just don’t let attitudes about looks and sexual desirability overtake all other features of your self-esteem.

Feeling your very best—your most beautiful—doesn’t necessarily have to do with the way you look. Beauty is about finding what makes you happy, comfortable, and confident: wearing a specific set of clothes, going for a run, spending time with people you love, getting a good night’s sleep, and walking through warm sand—all these can make you feel good about yourself. They can give you a slight glow that shows.

Idea for Impact: Beauty is the highest expression of our physical selves. Let your beauty radiate from the inside out.

Base your self-esteem upon your inner, not outer, qualities. Define yourself in ways other than how you look. Zero in on what’s good about your abilities, skills, empathy, cheerfulness, personality, relationships, and perspective on the world. Even small shifts in your outlook can improve your overall self-esteem.

What does it take for you to become a more attractive version of yourself? Figure it out, and try to get more of it (whatever it is!) into your life.

No point in being pretty on the outside when you’re ugly on the inside.

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Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Confidence, Perfectionism, Resilience, Success, Wisdom

External Blame is the Best Defense of the Insecure

July 31, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In the realm of excuses, accountability tends to retreat while blame takes center stage. You find yourself playing the “blame game,” swiftly shifting responsibility onto external factors to protect your ego.

When faced with challenges, it’s natural to become defensive and deflect responsibility onto your boss, a vendor, the weather, working conditions, a partner, economic downturns, or anything but yourself. However, this negative energy worsens the situation and weakens your self-perception.

Beneath the surface, though, lies a truth: externalizing blame always hinders real growth and progress. So, the next time you catch yourself falling into the trap of feeling like a prisoner of circumstances, making excuses, or pointing fingers at others, take a moment to pause and ask yourself, “What could I have done to prevent this problem?” and “What lessons can we derive from this situation?”

Idea for Impact: Assuming responsibility is a testament to your strength. It displays courage, even if it may not feel that way. Only the resilient can truly accept blame. When we externalize blame, we give up control and surrender our power to heal and improve ourselves. On the other hand, embracing accountability has numerous benefits: it strengthens relationships, enhances credibility, fosters happiness within yourself and others, promotes transparency, boosts self-esteem, facilitates learning, and ultimately helps resolve problems. Choose accountability over blame and pave the way for personal growth and success.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Anger, Emotions, Mindfulness, Resilience, Success, Wisdom

How to … Change Your Life When Nothing Seems to be Going Your Way

May 4, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Recollect what it means to be human: we go through ups, downs, shortcomings, triumphs, losses, confidence, and apprehensions are all just a part of life. While unpleasant, failure is also a common and essential element of life. Bearing failure with equanimity is more likely to help you find success and get what you want.

Next, think about something that’s challenged you in the past and consider how you’re better off for having been through that experience. When you acknowledge you’ve overcome setbacks before, you can recognize that you can—and will—weather this one, too.

Ponder about whatever challenges you presently and see if you can reframe it. Try to perceive it as an opportunity for growth and consider what gifts could come from this experience. Visualizing successful outcomes is the best way to reset or repurpose your goals.

Idea for Impact: Developing resiliency isn’t easy, but excessive rumination and dwelling on past failures for longer than necessary will keep you stuck. When things aren’t going your way, challenge yourself to find any upsides, no matter how small. Find the good in the less-than-ideal. You’re more likely to get unstuck by trying a low-risk baby step forward.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Attitudes, Discipline, Emotions, Mental Models, Motivation, Resilience, Success, Wisdom

Play the Part of an Optimist

March 2, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'Spontaneous Optimism' by Mary Ann Troiani (ISBN 0938901095) Spontaneous Optimism: Proven Strategies for Health, Prosperity & Happiness (1998) by psychologists Mary Ann Troiani and Michael W. Mercer makes a case that optimism is a learned skill. This tome suggests three things you can do to enhance your optimism.

First, adopt a language that connotates positivity. Straighten your body before your emotions. Keep a straight body posture, take big steps, and walk quickly with your shoulders back and your head up. “Pessimistic people walk slowly with small steps and their heads down.”

Second, be on thought watch. Negative thoughts are more likely to contribute to a pessimistic view of life. Change your tone of voice to be cheerful, enthusiastic, and full of purpose. Let your voice echo these sentiments. Avoid talking to people who tend to have a pessimistic outlook—talking to someone who is also down or cynical about life can make you feel worse.

Third, use upbeat or happier words. Call a ‘problem’ a ‘challenge.’ ‘Losses’ are just ‘roadblocks.’ The authors note, “Positive thoughts and behavior have a positive impact on the brain’s biochemistry … They boost your serotonin levels and signal that you’re happy. Your brain will catch up to you.”

Idea for Impact: Deliberate practice of empowering body language can shift your mindset and moods. Optimism, imagery, and self-talk do work.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Assertiveness, Attitudes, Body Language, Likeability, Personality, Resilience, Success

How Can You Contribute?

January 25, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The celebrated management guru Peter Drucker urged folks to replace the pursuit of success with the pursuit of contribution. To him, the existential question was not, “How can I achieve what’s been asked of me?” but “What can I contribute?”

Drucker wrote in his bestselling The Effective Executive (1967; my summary,)

The great majority of executives tend to focus downward. They are occupied with efforts rather than with results. They worry over what the organization and their superiors “owe” them and should do for them. And they are conscious above all of the authority they “should have.” As a result, they render themselves ineffectual. The effective executive focuses on contribution. He looks up from his work and outward toward goals. He asks: “What can I contribute that will significantly affect the performance and the results of the institution I serve?” His stress is on responsibility.

The focus on contribution is the key to effectiveness: in a person’s own work—its content, its level, its standards, and its impacts; in his relations with others—his superiors, his associates, his subordinates; in his use of the tools of the executive such as meetings or reports. The focus on contribution turns the executive’s attention away from his own specialty, his own narrow skills, his own department, and toward the performance of the whole. It turns his attention to the outside, the only place where there are results.

Peter Drucker: Focus on Contribution - How Can You Contribute? Focusing on contribution versus (or as well as) typical metrics of success pivots you away from self-focus and helps engage in meaningful relationships with your employees, peers, and managers.

In his celebrated article on “Managing Oneself” in the January 2005 issue of Harvard Business Review, Drucker clarified,

Throughout history, the great majority of people never had to ask the question, What should I contribute? They were told what to contribute, and their tasks were dictated either by the work itself—as it was for the peasant or artisan—or by a master or a mistress—as it was for domestic servants.

There is no return to the old answer of doing what you are told or assigned to do. Knowledge workers in particular have to learn to ask a question that has not been asked before: What should my contribution be? To answer it, they must address three distinct elements: What does the situation require? Given my strengths, my way of performing, and my values, how can I make the greatest contribution to what needs to be done? And finally, What results have to be achieved to make a difference?

Idea for Impact: Take Responsibility for Your Contribution

Focusing on contribution instead of efforts is empowering because it compels you to think through the results you need to deliver to make a difference and identify new skills to develop. “People in general, and knowledge workers in particular, grow according to the demands they make on themselves,” as Drucker remarked in The Effective Executive.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Adversity, Attitudes, Emotions, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Relationships, Resilience, Success

Choose Pronoia, Not Paranoia

January 18, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Pronoia is a weird, incredible feeling that everyone out there is helping you and cheering you on. The world is showering you with blessings.

Yes, that’s the antithesis of paranoia.

Pronoia is the delusional sentiment that people are conspiring in favor of your well-being, speaking nice things behind your back, and rooting for your benefit. The American astrologer Rob Brezsny has written, “Pronoia is the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses and intellect, so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.”

Pronoia is a convivial orientation—one exemplified by feelings of hope, trust, confidence, and affection. Choosing to cultivate optimism thus opens up a new identity. You no longer harbor bitterness and misgivings towards others.

Idea for Impact: Embrace the mindset that life is happening for you instead of against you. It’s a fantastic way to experience life!

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  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Adversity, Attitudes, Emotions, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Resilience, Success

How You See is What You See

August 15, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

So very often, we don’t give ourselves to allow for new understandings, new perspectives, and new interpretations to emerge.

Three people were visiting and viewing the Grand Canyon—an artist, a pastor and a cowboy. As they stood on the edge of that massive abyss, each one responded with a cry of exclamation. The artist said, “Ah, what a beautiful scene to paint!” The minister cried, “What a wonderful example of the handiwork of God!” The cowboy mused, “What a terrible place to lose a cow!”

Idea for Impact: Work to overcome the strong waves of conditioning that you’ve been exposed to your whole life.

Take a step back and consider how you’re responding to a situation emotionally and intellectually.

Free up your mind from the conditioning that may be restraining it.

Don’t let your narrow perspectives—those comfortable walls within which you confine yourself—to make you lose touch with what’s possible.

Explore. Discover. Discern. Open your mind to new frontiers.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Creativity, Critical Thinking, Parables, Problem Solving, Resilience, Success, Thinking Tools, Thought Process

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!