Simple Living

Why Your Hobbies Don’t Need to Be Perfect

May 18, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Why Your Hobbies Don't Need to Be Perfect In a captivating op-ed, Columbia law professor Tim Wu explores how the pursuit of perfection has infiltrated and corrupted the realm of leisure.

If you’re a jogger, it is no longer enough to cruise around the block; you’re training for the next marathon. If you’re a painter, you are no longer passing a pleasant afternoon, just you, your watercolors and your water lilies; you are trying to land a gallery show or at least garner a respectable social media following.

Lost here is the gentle pursuit of a modest competence, the doing of something just because you enjoy it, not because you are good at it … alien values like “the pursuit of excellence” have crept into and corrupted what was once the realm of leisure, leaving little room for the true amateur.

The demands of modern life and the pressure to be constantly productive have turned hobbies into serious endeavors. The pursuit of excellence, Wu argues, is at odds with true freedom and can lead to feelings of self-judgment and inadequacy. “Demanding excellence in all that we do steals from us one of life’s greatest rewards—the simple pleasure of doing something you merely, but truly, enjoy.”

Idea for Impact: Abandon the desire to excel and fully embrace the pure delight that hobbies bring. Let them be the sanctuary where the soul can sustain itself.

Joy is the Happiness That Lasts

December 22, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Joy is the Happiness That Lasts (1 Peter 1:8--9) Early this year, we lost Thích Nhất Hạnh, the much-venerated Vietnamese monk who popularized mindfulness in the West. In one of his early teachings, The Miracle of Mindfulness (1975,) Nhất Hạnh gave simple instructions on how to reset your notions of happiness:

Our notions of happiness entrap us. We forget that they are just ideas. Our idea of happiness can prevent us from actually being happy. We fail to see the opportunity for joy that is right in front of us when we are caught in a belief that happiness should take a particular form.

There’re many things in your life that you aren’t happy about now, and you want to see them changed. Isn’t that always going to be so?

Don’t let the inclination to put off happiness until later draw you away from the positives in your life now.

Idea for Impact: Learn to find joy in tiny triumphs. Joy is the happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens. Joy is the happiness that can be steady. Joy is the happiness that lasts. And that’s what you really want.

Lilies and Leeches

November 14, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Lilies and Leeches: Surround Yourself with Those Who Elevate You You may have heard of the notion of lilies and leeches. The lilies are the people—and situations—that bring out the best in you. The leeches just grind you down.

Learn to say ‘no’ to relationships or situations that don’t work for you. Life’s too short to waste time on anything that can suck your happiness and energy. Avoid those emotional leeches, productivity leeches, and financial leeches.

Idea for Impact: A little-cited key to a rewarding life: choose to surround yourself with those who elevate you. With those who are caring, supportive, and nonjudgmental, and who make you feel loved, appreciated, and respected.

How to … Make a Dreaded Chore More Fun

July 7, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Make a Dreaded Chore More Fun If everyday chores feel like a drag and you don’t have the motivation to do anything but be on your phone and laze around, consider the following actions that have most benefited my clients:

Find a friend you can talk to long-distance while you both tackle household chores. You can keep each other accountable.
Challenge yourself to beat the clock. Set a time to complete the task, and see how much ahead you can get it done.
Do “three-minute tidy” routines throughout the day. Choose a room or clutter magnet and go at it for three minutes. Sprucing up as-you-go throughout the day is more agreeable than a long list of must-dos that must be tackled at once.
Begin a dreaded chore in the morning or at the earliest you can. So the rest of the day is free for having some fun. The sooner you check off your to-do list, the more motivated you tend to feel.
Embrace the mess. It’s okay is good enough. Tolerate some clutter from time to time and excuse yourself for not getting all the chores done or having a perfect home. Think about it as a form of prioritization.

Having What You Want

May 16, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Finding Contentment---Wanting is Different from Having

Wanting is different from having.

Wanting is in the future. Having is here; it’s now.

Wanting is based on what could make you happy in the next minute, next week, or next year.

When you don’t let yourself have what you already have, you’re in a trap of your own making. You’re perpetually restless and disengaged. You aren’t present—you’re pursuing a happiness that’s always somewhere else.

Idea for Impact: Don’t be so occupied wanting the next thing that you don’t allow yourself to enjoy what’s in front of you now. You’ll become more content if you look harder for things to be grateful for in the here and now.

Why You Can’t Relax on Your Next Vacation

April 23, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Why You Can't Relax on Your Next Vacation Some managers can’t slow down even on vacation. They keep worrying about their work and won’t come back feeling rested and rejuvenated.

If you feel the added guilt of being away, it may be time for you to look inward and reflect upon your ability to delegate. Don’t bring fear of inadequacy with you on vacation.

Sure, most people responsible for delivering big things find it difficult to be away. Feeling out of control is always stressful. Here’s how to make time off as restful as possible:

Schedule 1-hour check-ins every day.
Manage your team’s expectations and make sure everyone knows what matters you want to be bothered about.
Build-in buffers at both ends. Don’t work right until you leave for the airport and don’t get back to work right off the plane. Schedule an extra day off before you depart and another when you return. Dive back in slowly.

Idea for Impact: Time off should be time off. Get the most out of your time off by unplugging completely.

Get Unstuck and Take Action Now

March 3, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

From Sharon Lebell’s interpretations of Epictetus in Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness (2007,)

Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer.

Put your principles into practice—now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! You aren’t a child anymore. The sooner you set yourself to your spiritual program, the happier you will be. The longer you wait, the more you’ll be vulnerable to mediocrity and feel filled with shame and regret, because you know you are capable of better.

From this instant on, vow to stop disappointing yourself. Separate yourself from the mob. Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do—now.

If you’re like most people who want more from life than what they’re getting, remember that cutting through the stupor of life often starts with gaining clarity.

What do you value? What matters most?

Get Unstuck and Take Action Now Does your life align with your proclaimed values and priorities? If not, now’s the perfect time to lean into small actions that could set you on the right path.

Progress is within reach, but you’ll need to find clarity and restructure how you think about goals.

Stop procrastinating now. Recognize that you can be better. Without hesitation, decide to be the person that only you can be.

Idea for Impact: What’s one brave decision you can make now to get unstuck and move in the direction of your goals?

A Key to Changing Your Perfectionist Mindset

January 14, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

It’s okay to have some clutter and untidiness occasionally.

A Key to Changing Your Perfectionist Mindset Sometimes, look away when the kids scatter crumbs or toys are strewn all over the house. Instead of spending an afternoon swiffering, vacuuming, scrubbing, and polishing, just play with your kids.

Let yourself off for not getting all the chores done or keeping a flawlessly curated, Instagramable home. If you have guests coming over, stop agonizing and embrace a tidy-enough household. No need to live for your dinner guests—your home doesn’t always have to look the way you want.

Idea for Impact: Train yourself to care less. Yeah, really.

Perfectionism is a wicked way to live life. Look for ways to reach your goals without being perfect.

Setting unrealistic expectations only makes you vulnerable to emotional difficulties. That’s what perfectionism does. Perfection is holding yourself to a paradigm wherein anything less than “perfect” is, in one way or another, failure.

Think about how much more productive you could be if you stop carrying the weight of excessive expectations on your shoulders.

Change Your Perfectionist Mindset (And Be Happier!) This Holiday Season

November 25, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Perfectionism can inspire you to deliver top-quality work, but it’ll cause needless anxiety and slow you down, especially over the holiday season.

Even for the more fastidious among us, a spotless home isn’t always achievable. Everywhere you look, there’ll be something to straighten up—unfolded laundry, kids’ toys on the floor, piles of unopened mail.

Change Your Perfectionist Mindset This Holiday Season Embrace the mess. Recognize that not all will get done on time. Tolerate some clutter from time to time and excuse yourself for not getting all the chores done or having a perfect home. Cleaning a stuffed animal or two can wait until later.

Don’t cling to your perfectionism even when it’s counterproductive. Put things away when you’re able to, but don’t feel like you have to dedicate many hours to tidy up, especially when that time can be better spent relaxing and rejoicing with family.

Idea for Impact: Now is a good time you cut yourself a break. There’s no need to feel less-than-great about the state of your home over the holidays.

The Mental Junkyard Hour

October 27, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Mental Junkyard Hour---Productivity Hour Before Bed If you can muster up the energy, use an hour or two at the end of your day to crank out all those “functional tasks” that don’t require a totally clear head.

Wrap up anything that you shouldn’t carry forward to the next day. Crack down on all those administrative and life-maintenance tasks—like catching up with email, tidying up your home, and reprioritizing to-do lists. If you’re a student, you can summarize class notes, re-do practice problems, and get the school bag ready.

Making the most of the “mental junkyard hour” lets you spend the time when your head is clearer to focus on those tougher, “conceptual” tasks that need deep focused work.

Simple Living

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Idea for Impact: Train yourself to care less. Yeah, really.

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