Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Confidence

A Mental Hack to Overcome Fear of Rejection

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A Mental Hack to Overcome Fear of Rejection Afraid of rejection? Worried you’ll sound stupid, look like a loser, or face a big price for asking? So, will you decide it’s better not to ask at all?

Next time fear keeps you stuck, try this quick mental hack: tell yourself that not asking causes more suffering than facing rejection.

You can handle rejection—heck, even ten rejections—just fine. But if you keep avoiding asking, you’ll only get what life hands you. And in a world where most people go after what they want, you’ll end up with leftovers. Now that’s something to really be scared of!

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Ask For What You Want
  2. Are These 3 Key Fears Blocking Your Path to Growth?
  3. How to … Strengthen The ‘Asking Muscle’
  4. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel
  5. Resilience Through Rejection

How Smart People Undermine Their Success

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How Smart People Undermine Their Success Intelligence is a double-edged sword: sure, it’s got its perks, but sometimes it trips up even the brainiest of folks. Brainiacs may find themselves falling short of their goals due to inadvertently undermining their own efforts. Making it big in most jobs needs more than just smarts.

Bright minds often view their success as inevitable, sometimes overlooking the importance of other skills. For example, they may dismiss workplace diplomacy as an annoyance rather than recognizing its importance. No matter how tactful they are, their braininess can still put a damper on slower teammates. They get antsy dealing with processes and people who are not on their level. They might choose to work solo, thinking they can get things done faster that way. Additionally, they may be less receptive to feedback, especially when they feel confident in their approach.

Focusing solely on what you’re good at, especially if it’s brains, can backfire big time if you ignore your weak spots. Seek a caring mentor who can clue you in on how people see you, dial down that ego, and adjust your expectations—try to become the respected star of the team, not the reviled know-it-all.

If you find yourself always toning down your smarts to fit in, maybe it’s time to find a workplace where they actually dig your brainpower. Look for employers who value intellect, such as think tanks, universities, investment banking firms, law and consulting companies, and professions where they’re all about flexing those mental muscles.

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Muffle the Echoes of Self-Doubt

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Muffle Self-Doubt: Your Mistakes Matter Less Those small mistakes that you make aren’t being noticed by others as much as you think they are. According to the “spotlight effect,” we all tend to overestimate how much others notice and judge our appearance, behavior, and performance. Those seemingly monumental blunders are unlikely to cast the shadows you imagine upon the stage of perception.

When you catch yourself scrutinizing every move with a magnifying glass of self-doubt, ease up on yourself. The next time you find yourself paralyzed by the hyper-awareness of your missteps, remind yourself that those around you are often too engrossed in the drama of their own lives to notice the minutiae of yours.

Idea for Impact: In the grand theater of life, your mistakes are mere whispers in the audience’s memory. Be more interested in the unfolding narrative than in the slight falters along the way.

Wondering what to read next?

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  5. Entitlement and Anger Go Together

Boost Your Confidence Quickly: Lift Others

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Boost Your Confidence: Lift Others Up! Need a confidence pick-me-up? Try lifting someone else’s spirits to boost your own.

Everybody needs hope, sometimes desperately. Just find some honest ways to dish it out. Realistic hope works like magic for the blues.

When you help others feel more sure of themselves, they’ll start seeing you as more assured too, treating you accordingly. That quick shot of purpose and fulfillment reminds you that you’re making a difference. This positive feedback loop just amps up your confidence even more.

Ain’t nothing wrong with doing good for selfish reasons like this.

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  3. How to … Care Less About What Other People Think
  4. Who Told You That Everybody Was Going to Like You?
  5. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel

Liberating the Mind from Mental Shackles

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Liberating the Mind from Mental Shackles The core of Buddhist teachings explore the nature of the mind and its tendencies, such as the habit of creating narratives and projections. Chapter 1, verse 1 of the Dhammapada states, “Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If a person speaks or acts with an impure mind, suffering follows him like the wheel that follows the foot of the ox.”

Real happiness, akin to the ancient Greek concept of eudemonia (“good spirit,”) arises from actively freeing oneself from sources of suffering, including hatred, pride, jealousy, and ignorance. This involves actively addressing the challenge of being ensnared by one’s own thoughts. Recognizing that all phenomena, including thoughts, are impermanent and devoid of a permanent self, enables individuals to actively diminish the sway thoughts hold over them.

Idea for Impact: In times when recollections emerge and anxieties seize tightly, endeavor to reassure yourself that you can rise above the stories you create about your past or future. Rather than succumbing to the labyrinth of thoughts, actively cultivate awareness of them. You are not to be defined by the contents of your mind but by the awareness you actively bring to them. Understanding this active distinction liberates you from the shackles of your thoughts.

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How to … Care Less About What Other People Think

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Mastering Self-Liberation: Care Less About Others' Opinions Are you spending too much time worrying about others’ opinions of you? Studies show that we consistently and needlessly overestimate how much—and how badly—others think about our failings.

While seeking acceptance is natural, it’s essential not to become overly focused on pleasing others or taking rejection personally. Challenge social norms and maintain a balanced perspective.

By regularly bring your focus back on the bigger picture (“What do I want?”) and daring to go against the tide, you’ll find that others’ opinions have less sway over you. This shift reduces overgeneralization and premature conclusions.

When faced with criticism, assess whether the criticism is fair and warranted. If upon reflection, you find that the criticism holds merit and aligns with your values or goals, it may be beneficial to consider making changes or adjustments accordingly. However, if after careful consideration, you determine that the criticism is unjustified or does not resonate with your beliefs or objectives, don’t let it affect you negatively.

Be mindful of your thoughts and interrogate them. Don’t allow assumptions about others’ perceptions to dictate your actions. Often, what you fear others are judging you for exists solely in your imagination.

Idea for Impact: Know what matters to you personally—what you stand for, what your values are. Persuade yourself to become more competent in the skills and fields that matter to you. This attitude will enhance your self-confidence and develop a strong and positive self-image.

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  3. Let Others Think What They May
  4. Who Told You That Everybody Was Going to Like You?
  5. Let Go of Toxic Friendships

Ask For What You Want

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Ask and Receive: Unlocking Possibilities Through Asking for Help Don’t just sit around twiddling your thumbs, waiting for the good stuff to fall in your lap. Open your mouth, and you might just catch what you’re aiming for.

There’s no shame in reaching out for a hand. If it’s all above board, and there’s something to gain without risking much, why not give it a shot?

Fear’s gonna sneak up on you, but don’t let it hold you back. Sure, you might face a few ‘no’s or some pushback, but that’s just par for the course. It’s those rejections that pave the road to that one big ‘yes’ that could change the whole game.

Winners ask for what they want. Sure, they might face a heap of rejections, but they’re also the ones more likely to snag the big wins.

Idea for Impact: As long as your ask is ethical, ask for what you want. People who hesitate to ask usually settle for far less success than they could otherwise achieve.

Don’t settle for crumbs when you could be dining at the feast.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Mental Hack to Overcome Fear of Rejection
  2. Are These 3 Key Fears Blocking Your Path to Growth?
  3. How to … Strengthen The ‘Asking Muscle’
  4. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel
  5. Fear Isn’t the Enemy—Paralysis Is

How to Feel More Beautiful

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Some people base too much of their self-esteem on how they look. They’ll go to great lengths to preserve how good they think they look.

But props aren’t the real beauty. Props are just accessories.

Beauty should be more than meeting some subjective, media-defined, Kardashians- prototyped notion of what’s attractive. Ultimately, the verb “make up” suggests compensating for something missing or deficient.

Arguably beauty is admittedly a worthy aspiration. There is no virtue at all in eschewing good looks or those perceived to have them. Indeed, western philosophy usually considers beauty among the absolute human values—along with goodness, gentleness, self-control, truth, and justice.

However, you shouldn’t just don’t let attitudes about looks and sexual desirability overtake all other features of your self-esteem.

Feeling your very best—your most beautiful—doesn’t necessarily have to do with the way you look. Beauty is about finding what makes you happy, comfortable, and confident: wearing a specific set of clothes, going for a run, spending time with people you love, getting a good night’s sleep, and walking through warm sand—all these can make you feel good about yourself. They can give you a slight glow that shows.

Idea for Impact: Beauty is the highest expression of our physical selves. Let your beauty radiate from the inside out.

Base your self-esteem upon your inner, not outer, qualities. Define yourself in ways other than how you look. Zero in on what’s good about your abilities, skills, empathy, cheerfulness, personality, relationships, and perspective on the world. Even small shifts in your outlook can improve your overall self-esteem.

What does it take for you to become a more attractive version of yourself? Figure it out, and try to get more of it (whatever it is!) into your life.

No point in being pretty on the outside when you’re ugly on the inside.

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  5. External Blame is the Best Defense of the Insecure

The Dark Side of Selfies

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Selfies are generally acceptable to a certain extent. They provide a means to chronicle oneself and curate the highlights of one’s life, and as humans, we have an innate need to feel acknowledged and seen.

Selfies can be a tool for self-love and expression, allowing individuals to communicate something about themselves and present themselves in a certain way. When taken intentionally, a selfie can give the illusion of control over one’s fleeting identities, which is a natural desire. It’s perfectly fine to create a persona and seek others’ approval, as a healthy self-identity depends on it.

However, when taken too far, the desire to be liked and accepted can quickly become a constant need for validation and status. Self-objectification can cause one to forget that self-identity is primarily based on subjective, biased perceptions of others. Using selfies as the ultimate self-expression can lead to overinflated self-importance and shameless self-promotion.

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How to … Strengthen The ‘Asking Muscle’

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Many people are afraid to ask—even negotiate—for what they want. Just because you ask for something doesn’t mean you’ll get it, but you must keep trying. In the same way that your body’s muscles need regular exercise to stay strong and flexible, the voices in your head do too. The more you practice asking (rehearse with a friend if needed,) the more comfortable it becomes.

Idea for Impact: Don’t wait for good things, as you may have been taught. Ask for what you want. With each triumph, you’ll gain confidence; with each disappointment, you’ll learn something. You’ll overcome the dread of asking for too much. You’ll conquer the fear of rejection or reprisal. Besides, you’ll be less deprived of what you’re reasonably entitled to.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Mental Hack to Overcome Fear of Rejection
  2. Ask For What You Want
  3. Are These 3 Key Fears Blocking Your Path to Growth?
  4. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel
  5. Resilience Through Rejection