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The Secret to Happiness in Relationships is Lowering Your Expectations

April 11, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Secret to Happiness in Relationships is Lowering Your Expectations

Happiness depends not on how well things are going, but on whether things are going better or worse than expected. (A case in point: under-promising and over-delivering is a sure way to build customer loyalty.)

Right-size what you can expect from others. You’d be happier to accept other people’s difficult behaviors when you expect less from them. The instant you feel disappointed because another person didn’t come through for you, remind yourself, “It isn’t for me to have those expectations on her.”

The definitive purpose of moderating your expectations of other people isn’t to give them some sort of pass. Instead, it is to help you take off your rose-colored spectacles and appreciate the being-as-is. This change of attitude helps you moderate the constant frustration—even anger—from those around you.

Idea for Impact: If you have high expectations of other people and they disappoint you, you’re giving them permission to dictate how you’ll feel. That’s a lot of power to give to others.

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  2. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
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  4. Get Rid of Relationship Clutter
  5. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Managing People Tagged With: Attitudes, Conflict, Emotions, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Relationships, Suffering

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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RECOMMENDED BOOK:
A Guide to the Good Life

A Guide to the Good Life: William Irvine

Philosophy professor William Irvine's practical handbook includes actionable advice for self-improvement by applying the ancient stoic wisdom to contemporary life.

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