Attitudes

Our 10 Most Popular Articles of 2020

December 30, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Top Blog Articles of 2020 Here are our most popular exclusive features of 2020. Pass this on to your friends; if they like these, they can sign up to receive our RSS feeds or email updates.

A Quick Way to De-stress. Whenever you feel frenzied, meditation can help you focus inward, pull together your scattered energies, and allow your mind to become calm.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up Over Your Mistakes. Don’t agonize about what other people are thinking about you. They’re perhaps busy worrying over what you’re thinking about them.
Better than Brainstorming for Rapid Idea Generation. Studies have shown that people think of more new—and practical—ideas on their own than they do in a group.
Don’t Let Small Decisions Destroy Your Productivity. Good routines can protect you from your more effective negative impulses and bring order and predictability to your life.
Never Outsource a Key Capability. By owning the entire customer experience, Domino Pizza has provided a consistent experience for customers and iterate quickly.
When You Talk About Too Many Goals. When it comes to persuasion, clarity and conciseness are critical.
Best to Cut Your Losses Early. Best to cut your losses early—you’ll have the least sunk costs and the fewest emotional attachments.
What Went Wrong on the Boeing 737 MAX. When you devise a highly reliable system, identify all single points of failure, and investigate how risks and failure modes can be mitigated.
How Much Risk Can You Tolerate? Encourage careful experimentation and conscientious risk-taking by lowering the risk waterline.
The Power of Negative Thinking. The Stoic practice of premeditatio malorum helps intentionally visualize the worst-case scenario in your mind’s eye and tame your anxiety.

And here are some articles of yesteryear that continue to be popular:

We wish you all a healthy and prosperous 2021!

You’ll Never Get a ‘Yes’ If You Never Ask

December 17, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It never does any harm to ask for what you want

During a Q&A at Vanderbilt University in 2013, lifelong Billy Joel fan and piano player Michael Pollack plucked up the courage and stood up to ask his childhood idol a question.

Pollack, an 18-year-old freshman at Vanderbilt, asked to accompany Joel in a performance of “New York State of Mind,” Pollack’s favorite song: “I was very fortunate to play with Richie Cannata [Joel’s saxophone player] many times in New York City, and I was wondering if I could play it with you.”

With just a hint of hesitation, Joel said, “Okay.”

Joel gave a remarkable vocal performance to accompany Pollack’s piano skills. The crowd applauded.

“Remember that name,” Joel told the excited audience. “Guy’s got chops.”

An online video of the performance quickly went viral.

Stop Overthinking Every Simple (and Not so Simple) Request

Pollack took a risk and traded the possibility of embarrassment and rejection for a lifetime of memories and a huge payoff.

Before long, Pollack signed publishing deals and began collaborating with other musicians. After graduating from Vanderbilt, he wrote dozens of songs for celebrity musicians. This year, he achieved his first U.S. Top 40 radio #1 with Maroon 5’s “Memories.”

Idea for Impact: All it Takes is a Simple Ask

Most folks know that the key to getting what they want is merely asking for it. But they’re too wimpish to speak up.

Take a chance. A little bit of courage can open doors for you. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Ask for what you want. You sometimes won’t get it, and often the rejection will be painful. But when this works, it works surprisingly well.

Try something today that has a small risk and a huge payoff.

Not Everyone is Chill About Tattoos and Body Art // Workplace Norms

December 10, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Over the last decade or so, body art has gained more acceptance as a form of personal expression—akin to clothing, jewelry, or hairstyle. Workplace attitudes toward body art have slowly shifted.

Certain trades—especially arts and media—value individuality, especially in creative roles. Visible tattoos and body piercings are common and acceptable. However, consulting, law, management, recruitment, and other “traditional” trades are likely to find body art less compliant with the industry norms. Having a tattoo can even be seen as unprofessional and defiant—even intimidating.

You have the right to express yourself as long as you are respecting the company’s norms

For some conservative people, visible art suggests that you may have a problem with authority. One study showed that tattooed people are perceived to be less honest, motivated, and intelligent.

At some workplaces, your insistence on leaving large earrings and nose piercings on or dressing in short sleeves that reveal your tattoos signals to that employer that you don’t care about norms. You may be judged as a willful person insistent on exerting your individuality rather than fit in and belong.

Your appearance and behavior are expected to reflect your workplace’s values and culture, particularly in customers’ presence.

Employers are free to impose dress codes and grooming guidelines. Discrimination law does apply to matters related to age, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, nationality, and religion—but not your sense of fashion.

Idea for Impact: Offensiveness is subjective, and everyone draws their lines differently

Don’t put yourself at a disadvantage. Consider the micro-cultural stereotypes concerning body art.

Seek a happy medium between personal style and dressing for work. Cover up and limit the number of visible piercings.

If you’re starting a new job and aren’t sure how body art will be perceived, consider a pilot. Instead of going “all in,” test the waters by displaying a little body art and see what sort of response you get.

Book Summary of Oprah Winfrey’s ‘The Path Made Clear’

December 8, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The title of Oprah Winfrey’s The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life’s Direction and Purpose (2019) is misleading. This book is no more than a hodgepodge of think-positive sound bites from Winfrey’s luminary show-guests.

Winfrey opens each of the ten chapters with a short personal anecdote of her hard work, persistence, and gratitude. Her meditations illuminate her passion-driven inner self: “Pay attention to what feeds your energy, you move in the direction of the life for which you were intended” and “Your life is always whispering to you.”

Aside from the prologues, the poorly organized reflections of Winfrey’s guests don’t build up to helping find purpose and living it. Some of the guests’ thoughts are poignant and thought-provoking:

“When problems show up, relax, and lean away from the noise that the mind is making. Give the noise room to pass through and it does. It passes right through. Don’t let fear take over. Like if you get on a horse and you’re scared, you’re not going to be a very good rider, right? But that doesn’t mean you let the horse go wherever it wants. You learn how to interface and interact with life in a wholesome, participatory way. Letting go of fear is not letting go of life.”—Michael Singer, Meditation Teacher
“Inspiration comes from three areas. It’s the clarity of one’s vision, the courage of one’s conviction, and the ability to effectively communicate both of those things.”—Jeff Weiner, Executive Chairman of LinkedIn
“Don’t pray to have a challenge-free life. Pray that the challenges that come will activate your latent potential.”—Michael Bernard Beckwith, New Thought Writer
“Luxury is a matter not of all the things you have, but all the things you can afford to do without.”—Pico Iyer, Essayist & Travel Writer

Recommendation: Scan The Path Made Clear. Put this beautiful book on your coffee table or nightstand to leaf through and contemplate, but it’s got nothing substantive.

6 Tips to Quit your Boring Life and Live an Exciting One

December 5, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

As we get older, our life becomes a set of routine we follow every day and this can get boring and stagnant if we are just going through the motions every day. Being trapped in a stagnant life is a hard pill to swallow and many people do not know what to do with themselves when this hits you, this can be detrimental for you. A bored stagnant mind is a recipe for higher risk for depression, anxiety, drug addiction, alcoholism, compulsive gambling, eating disorders, hostility, anger, poor social skills, bad grades and low work performance.

Quit your Boring Life If depression and boredom sinks in, health goes for a toss and one may put on that excessive weight. One of the go-to things to get out of boredom is spending time working out and doing exercises. It will not only keep you occupied but also give you a good physique, probably like one of your action heroes that you see on-screen. If you are a fan of the Batman franchise you should check out Christian Bale’s workout and diet plan, to know about his amazing transformation.

Now, trying to break the boring chains binding your life and living a life that excites you filled with joy and fulfilment is a journey. Here are some steps that can start you on this journey:

1/ Examine your mind

Like any other vice in life, boredom cannot be eliminated from existence; it is always waiting for an opportunity to enter through the backdoors of our mind. Examining your mind with meditation or finding a calm place where you can reflect your life can be a good start. Now keep in mind, such exercise has to be non-judgmental but a time of gratitude, count the numerous blessings in your life. Even taking the time to write down just three things each day that we feel grateful for can help reinstate a balanced perspective on our day-to-day experience.

2/ Decluttering your environment

In most cases, when a person is bored his living environment is cluttered with all kinds of stuff. And on the other side, some people are cluttered with stressful emotion inside. Decluttering not only your living space but also your thoughts (going back to the first point) is essential. One fulfilling advice here is donating, you will feel much better when you donate and help someone who needs it. In case you are an emotional person learn to differentiate between opinions and facts. Decluttering and sorting your living space are additional benefits apart from tidiness. It gives you an impression that you have moved to a new phase in life, a new chapter.

3/ Use your gifts and time

Use your gifts and time It is said it is never too late to pick a hobby. You have a ton of potential! Maybe you are scared of trying something new. If so, go back into your child state, what you like doing then. Pick your old interest and give it a go. This will bring back a sense of self-confidence. This is probably the key turning point when the old interest might shed light on something new. Maybe you want to get back to the gym and work on your physique that you once used to do. You can probably set up a home gym by getting some dumbbells, weight lifts, treadmill and choose squat machines based on the review here. Use your gifts and potential to the best that you can.

Time is finite for us humans. It is important that you use your time doing things that not only excite you but are also beneficial. One of the most common and effective steps to living an exciting life is to learn something new with a sense of accomplishment. Everyone has some fascination to learn something, take this chance to learn something new. Take a class. Never leave it too late that it becomes a regret.

4/ Voluntary risk

This should not be considered as a suggestion to turn to your vice. This simply means to explore the good experience life has to offer. For example, if you are someone who is not fond of travelling but wants to see the beauty of a certain place. Given the steps you have taken so far, the next step is to overcome your proclivity to decline and say yes to it voluntarily without any outside pressure. This is breaking your shell step. The possibility of you meeting new people or your type of people and multiplying your interest and creating a more exciting life full of memories is very high with voluntary risk.

5/ Appreciate the little things in life

Learn to appreciate your life. Pause your eyes once in a while and see the beauty of the things around you. Observe the little things animate and the inanimate pleasure of life; they are just pure magic. Like walking your dog, spending time with your loved ones, gazing upon the stars in a clear sky, waking up early and enjoying a hot coffee watching the sunrise, listening to your favourite old playlists, Sunday afternoon naps, doing your laundry, planting a flower, celebrating someone else’s success, or making someone smile. We often overlook these things when we are self-absorbed in our busy life. Learning to appreciate can truly impact your life and make it more fun to be around.

6/ Mend your relations

When we were young, we were always taught to say “I am sorry” when you do wrong to someone. But somehow when you get older, the word gets thrown around a lot but is harder to come by when it means the most. The last step here is to mend your relations with your loved ones. This is how we need to look at things when trying to mend relationships. We need to put our ego aside for a moment, apologize and have a conversation where things went wrong, and try to move forward in a positive direction. This will allow you to be free and able to enjoy your life more fully. Now there is a flip side to this point, this might sound harsh but if your relationship with someone binds you with your vices and diminishes your potential then it’s probably best to end it.

Live an Exciting One

These are some of the steps to escape a boring life. The above dealings are a step by step guide although you can customize the latter points accordingly. Hopefully, this helps you in your journey to a more exciting and joyful life.

A Bit of Insecurity Can Help You Be Your Best Self

December 3, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Self-confidence, so often peddled by the self-help genre as the panacea for low achievement, can indeed cause it. Beyond a moderate amount, self-confidence is destined to encourage complacency—even conceit. You’ll never reach anything better with that attitude.

Paradoxically, conceding your insecurities—and having a certain amount of humility about your capabilities—-is usually to your advantage.

Deep down, some of history’s greatest icons—from Abraham Lincoln to Mahatma Gandhi—regularly worried that they weren’t good enough. That’s what kept them striving harder.

A Bit of Insecurity Can Help You Be Your Best Self Face up to your self-judgment. Low self-esteem is present only when your self-appraisal is more acute than reality.

Channel that nagging voice in your head that keeps saying negative things about you. Don’t be self-defeatingly vulnerable. Don’t worry yourself into perfection, anxiety, or despair.

Engage that little “sweet spot” of insecurity to motivate yourself to exert the additional effort required to seek a better self. For example, ignore anyone who tries to calm your nerves by telling you to “just be yourself” or “who else could be better suited” before a job interview.

Idea for Impact: Satisfaction can be deadly. Lasting self-confidence derives from your ongoing effort, not by virtue.

Saying is Believing. People Are Reluctant to Change an Expressed Opinion.

November 30, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Politicians shift their views shamelessly with the winds of opportunism. To their defense, they must choose to stand up for what they believe or risk political capital.

Most politicians believe in one thing—winning elections and latching on to power. Seems they’ll say anything that can get them in the office and stay there. Like when, during the 2004 presidential elections, Democratic nominee John Kerry famously proclaimed, “I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against” funding to rebuild Iraq.

Politicians Will Often Flip-flop to Maximize Their Popularity

Well, that’s the nature of the beast. Politicians enter politics for ideological reasons but must readily sell their souls to prolong their political careers. Politicians never seem to be willing to say, “I was wrong” or “Upon mature reflection, I’ve changed my mind on such and such.”

But what about the rest of us? It seems that, unlike the politicians, we’re shamed relatively easily when we change our mind and adjust our approach. Admitting we’ve made a mistake is too threatening to our sense of self. We end up over-compensating by denying fault and refusing ownership of our own mistakes, thereby protecting our self-image.

There’s evidence that suggests that saying is believing. Making a known pronouncement strengthens our commitment to that point of view. By committing ourselves openly to our present opinions, we may be hardening ourselves to future information that would otherwise change our minds.

The ‘Saying-Is-Believing’ Effect

According to Robert Cialdini’s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (2006,) social psychologists have shown that openly committing to an opinion makes you less willing to change your mind.

Cialdini cites an experiment by social psychologists in which three sets of students were shown a group of lines. One set of students was asked to write down estimates of the lines’ length and turn their estimates to the experimenter. The second set was asked to write down their estimates on a Magic Pad and then wipe out their estimates before anyone else could see them. The third set of students didn’t write down their estimates at all. After the students were shown new evidence that suggested that their initial estimates were wrong,

The students who had never written down their first choices were least loyal to those choices. … By far, it was the students who had publicly recorded their initial positions who most resolutely refused to shift from those positions later. Public commitment had hardened them into the most stubborn of all.

Publicly committing to an answer makes people less receptive to information suggesting they were wrong

Yup, the act of publicly documenting your opinion enforces the feeling of others knowing what your opinion was. This produces fear of being judged.

The hard part about admitting you’re wrong is, well, admitting you’re wrong. This may induce you to refuse to accept new ideas.

The American economist Paul Krugman has remarked on the “epidemic of infallibility,”

Just to be clear, everyone makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect. When you’re committed to a fundamentally false narrative, facing up to facts becomes an act of political disloyalty. What’s going on with Mr. Trump and his inner circle seems to have less to do with ideology than with fragile egos. To admit having been wrong about anything, they seem to imagine, would brand them as losers and make them look small. In reality, of course, the inability to engage in reflection and self-criticism is the mark of a tiny, shriveled soul.

Idea for Impact: Changing Your Mind is Actually a Good Thing

Changing your mind based on new information isn’t bad. It’s something to be encouraged. As the Transcendentalist essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”

In our vigilant, hypercritical, and judgmental society, the problem isn’t with people voicing and documenting their opinions (particularly on social media) but with people not being OK with someone changing theirs.

A professed commitment shouldn’t cause reluctance to change your opinion.

No One Has a Monopoly on Truth

September 15, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The notion of god means different things to different people. Religions vary in identity and function. Almost all religions require their adherents to believe their specific religious doctrines with absolute certainty. These deep-seated beliefs and attitudes then become inflexible and are held with great zeal.

Closed Minds and Closed Hearts: Absolutism is Evil

Beware the Danger of Religious Certainty The self-righteous voices of fanaticism, the cruel voices of indifference and intolerance, and the uninformed voices of hate are revolting. Religious extremists are accountable for a lot of pain and suffering in the world. Crusades, inquisitions, faith-based discrimination and persecution, religious wars, and other forms of sheer hatred of other human beings are attributable to attitudes of hate and narrow-mindedness. Nothing deceives you as much as extreme passion.

The Scottish Anglican cleric Richard Holloway reflects on these concerns in Leaving Alexandria: A Memoir of Faith and Doubt (2014,)

Religions may begin as vehicles of longing for mysteries beyond description, but they end up claiming exclusive descriptive rights to them. They segue the ardor and uncertainty of seeking to the confidence and complacence of possession. They shift from poetry to packaging. Which is what people want. They don’t want to spend years wandering in the wilderness of doubt. They want the promised land of certainty, and religious realists are quick to provide it for them. The erection of infallible systems of belief is a well-understood device to still humanity’s fear of being lost in life’s dark wood without a compass. “Supreme conviction is a self-cure for the infestation of doubts.” That is why David Hume noted that, while errors in philosophy were only ridiculous, errors in religion were dangerous. They were dangerous because when supreme conviction is threatened it turns nasty.

COEXIST: Bumper Sticker Designed by Jerry Jaspar

Idea for Impact: Beware the Danger of Religious Certainty

We, humans, tend to have a profound need for certainty. It’s easy to embrace prepackaged convictions unquestionably and deny doubt. Most people draw their faith as children from their parents and never question their beliefs for the rest of their lives.

Religious certainty can provoke limitedness in the human condition. We always have to concede that we may be mistaken and learn to tolerate others’ attitudes that may actually bother us.

Be a voice for peace. Be a voice for humanity, for open-mindedness, for wisdom, for justice.

Overcoming Personal Constraints is a Key to Success

August 14, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Why do some people reach ever-higher levels of achievement, while others struggle or just plug along?

Norman Vincent Peale, the doyen of the think-positive mindset, provides a particularly illustrative example in You Can If You Think You Can (1987):

In Tokyo, I once met an American, an inspiring man, from Pennsylvania. Crippled from some form of paralysis, he was on a round-the-world journey in a wheelchair, getting a huge kick out of all his experiences. I commented that nothing seemed to get him down. His reply was a classic: “It’s only my legs that are paralyzed. The paralysis never got into my mind.”

Overcoming Personal Constraints is a Key to Success No matter how formidable your talents, you’ll be held back by certain attitudes and behaviors that limit your achievements.

Your personal constraints—some of them beyond your control—will determine your level of success. Identify those constraints and make a plan to triumph over them.

Idea for Impact: The more you can reframe your attitudes toward the past, future, and present, the more likely you’ll find a meaningful life. Don’t let your constraints lay down what you can achieve.

How to Bounce Back from a Setback

August 12, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Bounce Back from a Setback When life deals you a blow, and you can’t seem to make yourself move on, consider these simple actions you can take.

Think positively. Allow yourself a modest amount of disappointment, but don’t wallow in it. Whenever negative thoughts enter your brain, say “Stop” and turn your attention to something constructive, hopeful, and optimistic. Focus on what you want, not what you fear you’ll lose.
Be grateful for everything life has given you and for every step forward you can take. A conscious focus on gratitude can remind you of unassuming plusses that get lost in the vicissitudes of a hurried life.
Let go. Don’t look back too often. Keep yourself open to today’s new opportunities. Know what’s beyond your control.
Take decisive action. Tackle each critical task with an explicit goal; don’t avoid problems. Scale back your expectations; alas, sometimes you simply won’t be at your best.
Take a long-term view and re-examine all those short-term decisions. Don’t get hung up on a particular outcome, event, person, or experience. Stop focusing on what you don’t have or don’t like; focus on what you do have and do like.

Idea for Impact: Often, just knowing that you have some control is enough to change your perspective from bleak to hopeful. What’s important in life is not what’s happened to you, but how you’ll react. What’s a baby step you can take to improve your situation?

Attitudes

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It never does any harm to ask for what you want

Stop Overthinking Every Simple (and Not so Simple) Request

Idea for Impact: All it Takes is a Simple Ask

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You have the right to express yourself as long as you are respecting the company’s norms

Idea for Impact: Offensiveness is subjective, and everyone draws their lines differently

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1/ Examine your mind

2/ Decluttering your environment

3/ Use your gifts and time

4/ Voluntary risk

5/ Appreciate the little things in life

6/ Mend your relations

Live an Exciting One

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Politicians Will Often Flip-flop to Maximize Their Popularity

The ‘Saying-Is-Believing’ Effect

Publicly committing to an answer makes people less receptive to information suggesting they were wrong

Idea for Impact: Changing Your Mind is Actually a Good Thing

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Closed Minds and Closed Hearts: Absolutism is Evil

Idea for Impact: Beware the Danger of Religious Certainty

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