Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Inspirational Quotations #971

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Every man has his faults. It all depends on whether he has enough good qualities to counterbalance them.
—Ferenc Santa (Hungarian Novelist)

I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.
—Tallulah Bankhead (American Actress)

Nobody motivates today’s workers. If it doesn’t come from within, it doesn’t come. Fun helps remove the barriers that allow people to motivate themselves.
—Herman Cain (American Businessman)

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. You can see that when you think how the friends that really listen to us are the ones we move toward, and we want to sit in their radius as though it did us good, like ultraviolet rays.
—Brenda Ueland (American Journalist Memoirist)

Redundancy is expensive but indispensable.
—Jane Jacobs (Canadian Urbanologist)

Cranks live by theory, not by pure desire. They want votes, peace, nuts, liberty, and spinning-looms not because they love these things, as a child loves jam, but because they think they ought to have them. That is one element which makes the crank.
—Rose Macaulay (British Author)

Let us have but one end in view, the welfare of humanity; and let us put aside all selfishness in consideration of language, nationality, or religion.
—John Amos Comenius (Czech Educator)

Human rights are not a luxury, or something to be observed if they don’t conflict with some other priority, like peace or economic development. They are instead the key to achieving those things and anything else of urgent importance to the world.
—Robert L. Bernstein (American Publisher, Activist)

I offer neither pay, nor quarters, nor food; I offer only hunger, thirst, forced marches, battles and death. Let him who loves his country with his heart, and not merely with his lips, follow me.
—Giuseppe Garibaldi (Italian Revolutionary)

Success isn’t magic or hocus-pocus—its simply learning how to focus.
—Jack Canfield (American Self-Help Author)

Lessons from the Japanese Decision-Making Process

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Japanese firms traditionally use the ringi seido (“request for approval system”) to make critical decisions. A proposal is circulated to appropriate people, advancing from lower to higher ranks. As the proposal works through the management layers before landing at the top, each participant puts their stamp (the hanko) on the document.

This collective consensus process allows for a greater number of reasonable alternatives to be considered and for the risk to be spread. Although it may be slow, the implementation is faster once the decision is made. (Since the early ’90s, Toyota has followed a “three-stamp movement,” restricting the number of people needing to approve a proposal to three.)

Unlike consensus management in the west, the ringi system is often used to appease factions in an institution. Given the Japanese norms (nemawashi) of social structure and intercultural communication, everybody tends to be very diplomatic when giving an opinion. A decision isn’t made if unanimity isn’t reached.

Wondering what to read next?

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  4. The Abilene Paradox: Just ‘Cause Everyone Agrees Doesn’t Mean They Do
  5. To Make an Effective Argument, Explain Your Opponent’s Perspective

Public Speaking is Traumatizing Vulnerable Students

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For decades, universities have forced presentations and class participation to be integral to students’ grades. Sure, employers are interested not only in graduates’ subject knowledge but also in their ability to communicate, work in teams, problem-solve, build consensus, and so on.

However, public speaking anxiety is too common in college students, particularly those suffering from chronic social anxiety. Some even dread the sheer prospect of raising their hands in class for fear of being judged.

Sadly, our academic institutions aren’t doing enough to support such students. College is, after all, a place to practice in a supportive environment—it’s better for students to confront their fears in a relatively low-stakes classroom setting than in the real world. One lecturer I know of accommodated a nervous student by dismissing everyone else and making her present only to the professor.

Colleges must emphasize that anxiety and fear of public speaking are entirely normal—Mark Twain famously noted, “There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.” Colleges should assess individual students’ natural ability and teach public speaking as part of university learning, starting with systematic desensitization and conditioning confidence until the students feel they can tackle entire presentations.

Wondering what to read next?

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Inspirational Quotations #970

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Like water which can clearly mirror the sky and the trees only so long as its surface is undisturbed, the mind can only reflect the true image of the Self when it is tranquil and wholly relaxed.
—Indra Devi (Russian-American Yoga Teacher)

The older we get the more we seem to think that everything was better in the past.
—Tanizaki Jun’ichiro (Japanese Novelist)

There are many problems in life where the solution is largely a brainless time investment.
—Steve Pavlina (American Motivational Speaker)

Love is a gift from God, and as we obey His laws and genuinely learn to serve others, we develop God’s love in our lives. Love of God is the means of unlocking divine powers which help us to live worthily and to overcome the world.
—David B. Haight (American Mormon Leader)

When man meets an obstacle he can’t destroy, he destroys himself.
—Ryszard Kapuscinski (Polish Journalist)

Natural species are the library from which genetic engineers can work.
—Thomas Lovejoy (American Biologist)

I am like a doctor. I have written a prescription to help the patient. If the patient doesn’t want all the pills I’ve recommended, that’s up to him. But I must warn that next time I will have to come as a surgeon with a knife.
—Javier Perez de Cuellar (Peruvian Diplomat, Politician)

Simplicity is not the goal. It is the by-product of a good idea and modest expectations.
—Paul Rand (American Graphic Designer)

The best that companies can do is let a thousand flowers bloom, in the hope that one of them sprouts into a substantial growth business.
—Clayton M. Christensen (American Academic, Business Consultant)

The grace that makes every grace amiable is humility.
—Samuel Richardson (English Novelist)

What we do not understand, we cannot control.
—Charles A. Reich (American Jurist, Author)

People who are smart get into Mensa. People who are really smart look around and leave.
—James Randi (Canadian-American Escapologist)

If you think of life as like a big pie, you can try to hold the whole pie and kill yourself trying to keep it, or you can slice it up and give some to the people around you, and you still have plenty left for yourself.
—Jay Leno (American Comedian)

Don’t Over-Deliver

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Many tasks in the workplace could be done with total adequacy and barely more.

Don’t get fixated on ensuring that every task is entirely done, every email edited and re-edited to get the grammar right, or every spreadsheet is flawless. This is a pointless pursuit.

Sure, you don’t want to be a careless hammerhead. But don’t waste time sweating the little stuff. There comes the point where any changes you make to whatever it is you’re working on no longer makes it better but just different. Identifying the inflection point of diminishing returns is one of the hardest skills to learn and one of the most necessary.

Don’t agonize over tiny improvements in your work and thwart yourself from achieving the actual goal of doing the work.

Idea for Impact: Most acceptable outcomes correlate with “good enough,” not “perfection.” Being consistently excellent is essentially a matter of fierce discipline—doing the essential things well.

Wondering what to read next?

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Are You Ill-Prepared for Being Wrong?

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We spend so much of our lives being right that, I wonder if, we’re ill-prepared for being wrong.

Since childhood, we’ve been inured that being right is more acceptable than being wrong. Being wrong feels so unpleasant—repulsive even—that we instill a series of strategies to salvage ourselves when we are exposed as being wrong. We learn to trip from our forked tongues explanations, justifications, excuses, and blames for our errors and oversights.

What’s worse, we develop a deep-seated impulse to shirk responsibility and accountability for our actions. We become loath to change our beliefs or behaviors because change takes effort. We envisage change as a challenge to our identity. In the words of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, “People who are right a lot listen a lot, and they change their mind a lot. They wake up and re-analyze things and change their mind. If you don’t change your mind frequently, you’re going to be wrong a lot. People who are right a lot want to disconfirm their fundamental biases.”

Idea for Impact: What’s lost in all this is that being wrong is not only a central feature of being human. It’s one of the most potent ways of learning. Admitting we were wrong—and conceding we’ll be wrong again—can be so liberating and welcoming.

Wondering what to read next?

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  5. 3 Ways to … Avoid Overthinking

Inspirational Quotations #969

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If a warrior is to succeed at anything, the success must come gently, with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.
—Carlos Castaneda (Peruvian-born American Anthropologist)

The future is much like the present, only longer.
—Dan Quisenberry (American Baseball Player)

All the rarest hues of human life take radiance and are rainbowed out in tears.
—Gerald Massey (English Mystic, Poet)

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
—Mencius (Chinese Philosopher, Sage)

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. These are things we don’t know we don’t know.
—Donald Rumsfeld (American Government Official)

A life lived of choice is a life of conscious action. A life lived of chance is a life of unconscious creation.
—Neale Donald Walsch (American Spiritual Writer)

A library is a path to the future—find yours there.
—Mary Higgins Clark (American Novelist)

History does not belong to us; we belong to it.
—Hans-Georg Gadamer (German Philosopher)

I forget what I was taught. I only remember what I have learnt.
—Patrick White (Australian Novelist)

Solitude is good company and my architecture is not for those who fear or shun it.
—Luis Barragan (Mexican Architect)

Science is the one human activity that is totally progressive.
—Edwin Hubble (American Astronomer)

Opinionated writing is always the most difficult… simply because it involves retaining in the cold morning-after crystal of the printed word the burning flow of molten feeling.
—Gavin Lyall (English Spy Fiction Writer)

The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.
—Daniel Goleman (American Psychologist, Author)

All history is a lie.
—Robert Walpole (British Statesman)

The secret of a leader lies in the tests he has faced over the whole course of his life and the habit of action he develops in meeting those tests.
—Gail Sheehy (American Writer, Journalist)

If you don’t like the question that’s asked, answer some other question.
—Howard Baker (American Politician)

High office is like a pyramid; only two kinds of animals reach the summit, reptiles and eagles.
—Jean le Rond d’Alembert (French Mathematician)

Don’t Be Afraid to Let the Darkness In

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It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be angry or sad.

Fear, anxiety, sadness, and other negative emotions are but a natural response to what’s happening in your life, and you shouldn’t have to deny them. No one goes through life never feeling a negative emotion.

If you have a vicious internal voice—an ‘inner saboteur’—that also scorns you for having a rough time, just tell yourself it’s okay to not be okay. Your emotions aren’t the enemy. Sometimes things are hard because they’re just hard and not because you’re lacking something or you’re not doing enough.

You don’t need to buy into platitudes such as “Look on the sunnier side!” and “Everything happens for a reason!” Being positive isn’t the only correct way to live. In fact, toxic positivity can make you feel disconnected and, eventually, worse.

As long as you deal with them healthily, negative sentiments are okay—no need to avoid unpleasant realities. Stop buying into them, being attached to them, and inviting them back. Leaning into—not suppressing—pain, regret, sadness, and fear can bring significant benefits. The road to the good life is paved with the full range of the human experience—tears and furrowed brows, smiles and amusement, and all.

Idea for Impact: Don’t be afraid to let the darkness in. No need to attach so much meaning to what arises. No need to identify with your emotions. Allow yourself to experience the emotions. In time, they’ll move on through.

Seek little moments of compassion, inspiration, calmness, or altruism. These have the power to inspire and give hope.

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  3. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  4. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be
  5. How to … Break the Complaint Habit

Never Take the First Offer

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Gently push back, at least for one round. Especially if you’re a less-aggressive personality type and are programmed to answer ‘yes’ to the first reasonable offer someone makes.

People seldom offer the best they can offer right away because the first offer “anchors” the negotiation. They risk “showing their cards” and divulging some bargaining zones.

If you don’t push back even once, you’ll wind up with a less-than-optimal deal. A straightforward question such as “Can you do better than that?” will help you fend off the first offer politely without being a pushover.

If the counterparty says ‘no’ and you feel you can sustain the process for another round, inquire, “I’d like your help to learn why the first offer is the best you can do.” The key to being a better negotiator isn’t simply presenting your demands but asking detailed questions designed to better understand the other side’s interests.

If their answers make no sense, share your confusion. Offer a strong counteroffer based on your ideal intended outcome and your appraisal of the counterparty’s options and their “reserve price.”

Idea for Impact: Beware of the trap of saying ‘yes’ too quickly. You’ll get farther with a bit of polite persistence than quick surrender.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Buy Yourself Time
  2. Competitive vs Cooperative Negotiation
  3. Managerial Lessons from the Show Business: Summary of Leadership from the Director’s Chair
  4. Honest Commitments: Saying ‘No’ is Kindness
  5. What You’re Saying When You Say ‘Yes’

Inspirational Quotations #968

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When you are young, you should live out every weekend. Even if you look like a scarecrow, you just gotta go!
—Jonathan Brandis (American Child Actor)

A minor operation is one that is done on someone else.
—Richard Selzer (American Surgeon)

All outward forms of religion are almost useless, and are the causes of endless strife. Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself and never mind the rest.
—Beatrix Potter (British Children’s Author)

Perhaps you have noticed that even in the very lightest breeze you can hear the voice of the cottonwood tree; this we understand is its prayer to the Great Spirit, for not only men, but all things and all beings pray to Him continually in differing ways.
—Black Elk (Native American Spiritual Leader)

A wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand. I think, I, too, have known autumn too long.
—e. e. cummings (American Poet, Writer, Painter)

Leadership to me means duty, honor, country. It means character, and it means listening from time to time.
—George H. W. Bush (American Head of State)

Each of us needs time for mental self-renewal.
—Whitt N. Schultz (American Self-help Author)

Be willing to make decisions. That’s the most important quality in a good leader. Don’t fall victim to what I call the ‘ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome’. You must be willing to fire.
—T. Boone Pickens (American Businessman, Financier)

After all, what can we ever gain in forever looking back and blaming ourselves if our lives have not turned out quite as we might have wished?
—Kazuo Ishiguro (British Novelist)

The motto should not be: Forgive one another; rather understand one another.
—Emma Goldman (American Anarchist)

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured.
—B. K. S. Iyengar (Indian Hindu Yoga Teacher)

But if we learn to think of it as anticipation, as learning, as growing, if we think of the time we spend waiting for the big things of life as an opportunity instead of a passing of time, what wonderful horizons open out!
—Anna Neagle (English Actress)