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Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Gab May Not Be a Gift at All

January 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Ever met a Garrulous Gary who prattles on long after you’ve spaced out? A Chatty Charlie who blabbers on especially to show how much you know? Or a Curious Corinne who asks too many questions too quickly that you feel interrogated?

Whether in a job interview, a business meeting, or with a romantic partner, being long-winded is a sure turn-off. You’re risking being thought of as self-absorbed and conversationally clueless.

The easiest way to avoid being an over-talker is to speak for no more than one minute without stopping or asking a question. Avoid going off on a new tangent.

Constantly “read the room” to see if people are still interested. If the listener wants to hear more or pursue the conversation further, she can ask. Back off if you sense that questions or more details aren’t welcome. Silence isn’t a bad thing.

If someone appears distant or lost in thought, don’t just move into their personal space and try to break the ice with a “hey.” If necessary, ask for permission, “Hi. Is it okay if I talk to you?” Don’t start talking unless you sense that you’ve created a comfortable opportunity for the other person to respond.

Idea for Impact: Focus on what Mark Twain called “Minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.” Perhaps wise sound bites and deeper, more meaningful conversations are what constitute a true gift to gab?

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conversations, Etiquette, Likeability, Networking, Social Skills

Inspirational Quotations #979

January 8, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

Never expect justice from a vain man; if he has the negative magnanimity not to disparage you, it is the most you can expect.
—Washington Allston (American Artist, Writer)

There is a beauty in discovery. There is mathematics in music, a kinship of science and poetry in the description of nature, and exquisite form in a molecule. Attempts to place different disciplines in different camps are revealed as artificial in the face of the unity of knowledge. All literate men are sustained by the philosopher, the historian, the political analyst, the economist, the scientist, the poet, the artisan and the musician.
—Glenn T. Seaborg (American Chemist)

The dichotomy between selfishness and unselfishness disappears altogether in healthy people because in principle every act is both selfish and unselfish.
—Abraham Maslow (American Psychologist)

Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.
—Margaret Wander Bonanno (American Writer)

Often we have no time for our friends but all the time in the world for our enemies.
—Leon Uris (American Writer)

Nobody’s interested in sweetness and light.
—Hedda Hopper (American Actress, Gossip Columnist)

Since I and other beings both,
In wanting happiness, are equal and alike,
What difference is there to distinguish us,
That I should strive to have my bliss alone?
—Shantideva (Indian Buddhist Scholar)

If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are.
—John W. Gardner (American Activist)

It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you’ve wanted to do so badly. You almost feel like you could fly without the plane.
—Charles Lindbergh (American Aviator, Conservationist)

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox (American Poet, Journalist)

If our senses conveyed the whole truth to us, we would see the Earth as rivers and glaciers of electrons, each speck of dust as a rolling mass of light.
—Paramahansa Yogananda (Indian Hindu Mystic)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Do You Really Need More Willpower?

January 5, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Sure, self-discipline is an asset. Plenty of successful people evidently benefit from having truckloads of it. However, strengthening willpower may not always be easy for the rest of us.

You can increase productivity and contentment simply by altering your environment. Make it easier for you (and others in your life) to confront temptation and adopt the habits you want.

Use stimulus control to shift your behavior:

  • Want to stop taking on more debt? Freeze your credit cards.
  • Can’t stop checking your phone for likes, comments, texts, tweets, and game requests? Disable the apps.
  • Want your household to be more organized? Establish routines and make things easy to put away with clearly labeled receptacles.
  • Want to switch to healthier snacking choices? Splurge on pre-washed, pre-cut, grab-and-go vegetables.

You’re more likely to start change when you put the stimulus for action into your environment.

Idea for Impact: Don’t get bogged down by thinking that lifestyle changes are entirely about willpower. In a world so heavily baited with pervasive cues and craving-inducing stimuli, the more you can tweak your environment to better condition yourself into your desired habits, the more likely you are to meet your goals.

Wondering what to read next?

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  3. What the Dry January Trap Shows Us About Extremes
  4. An Effective Question to Help Feel the Success Now
  5. Conquer That Initial Friction

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Change Management, Discipline, Goals, Lifehacks, Motivation, Procrastination, Stress

Use This Trick to Make Daily Habits Stick This Year

January 2, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The best way to catalyze significant change is by relying on highly specific habits and routines and making time for them amid the busyness of life.

Habit formation relies on consistency. Here’s a simple trick to prevent good intentions from slipping.

Suppose that you want to start a daily walking habit. You set a target to go for a walk for at least an hour a day. But some days, this habit might not be doable.

Consistency & Small Habits = Big Results

To prevent slipping on your daily goal and beating yourself up about it, establish two targets: one for the “good” days and one for the “tough” days.

Set the bar very low for when it’s not possible to dedicate an hour to walking. On the tough days, when you’re exhausted, hungry, feeling lazy and unmotivated, or you’re simply not in the mood to walk, you can go for a quick walk. And on good days, when you have more time and energy, go for longer walks. Average out the tough days with the good days.

Make it so easy that you can’t say no to maintaining your habit on the tough days. You’ll decrease your skipped days and sustain the habit’s consistency by lowering your expectations.

Another benefit of having easy-win targets for the tough days is that you nudge yourself into action. Let’s say you target reading an hour a day. On tough days, when you set out to read for just ten minutes, you’ll perhaps get engrossed in more of the task once you get started and find your way into the text. Action begets momentum, and you’ll find it easier to keep going at it.

Idea for Impact: Consistency is the Foundation of Building New Habits

Habits take a long time to create, but they develop faster when you do them more routinely and repeatedly. The more days you skip, the harder it is to get back into the habit. Set the bar low for the tough days and build deep-seated habits.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What the Dry January Trap Shows Us About Extremes
  2. If Stuck, Propel Forward with a ‘Friction Audit’
  3. Resolution Reboot: February’s Your Fresh Start
  4. The #1 Hack to Build Healthy Habits in the New Year
  5. Don’t Try to ‘Make Up’ for a Missed Workout, Here’s Why

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Change Management, Discipline, Goals, Lifehacks, Motivation, Procrastination, Targets

Inspirational Quotations #978

January 1, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

Let us live for the beauty of our own reality.
—Tim Robbins (American Actor, Director)

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy—the mother.
—Claudette Colbert (American Actress)

The things we truly love stay with us always, locked in our hearts as long as life remains.
—Josephine Baker (American Dancer, Campaigner)

You find that you have peace of mind and can enjoy yourself, get more sleep, and rest when you know that it was a one hundred percent effort that you gave—win or lose.
—Gordie Howe (Canadian Hockey Player)

Sometimes, the most profound of awakenings come wrapped in the quietest of moments.
—Stephen Crane (American Writer)

Of course we all have our limits, but how can you possibly find your boundaries unless you explore as far and as wide as you possibly can? I would rather fail in an attempt at something new and uncharted than safely succeed in a repeat of something I have done.
—A. E. Hotchner (American Author, Playwright)

In your area of responsibility, if you do not control events, you are at the mercy of events.
—Harland Svare (American Football Player, Coach)

Pain and fear and hunger are effects of causes which can be foreseen and known: but sorrow is a debt which someone else makes for us.
—Freya Stark (British Explorer, Writer)

Revenge may not be a particularly high consciousness-oriented activity.
—Carrie Fisher (American Actress)

Things do not change, we change.
—Kalidasa (Indian Sanskrit Poet, Dramatist)

Less shame a greater fault would palliate.
—Dante Alighieri (Italian Poet, Philosopher)

They can cut all the flowers, but they cannot stop the coming of spring.
—Pablo Neruda (Chilean Poet)

The notion of religious liberty is that you cannot be forced to participate in a religious ceremony that’s not of your choosing simply because you’re out-voted
—Ira Glass (American Radio Personality)

The greatest inspiration is often born of desperation.
—Comer Cottrell (American Entrepreneur)

I never doubted my ability, but when you hear all your life you’re inferior, it makes you wonder if the other guys have something you’ve never seen before. If they do, I’m still looking for it.
—Hank Aaron (American Baseball Player)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Our 10 Most Popular Articles of 2022

December 30, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Here are our most popular exclusive features of 2022. Pass this on to your friends; if they like these, they can sign up to receive our RSS feeds.

  • Choose a better response. Don’t accept reflexive reactions. Instead, learn to know there is a “space” before responding.
  • To be more productive, try doing less. The best way to get lots of things done is to not do them at all.
  • The good of working for a micromanager: be aware of the details your manager cares about and expect to learn a lot.
  • A hack to resist temptation: commit to not giving in for 15 minutes. Even a simple distraction can break the trance.
  • Get good at things by being bad first. If you aren’t willing to be bad initially, you’ll never get started on anything new.
  • Get rid of relationship clutter. Make room for more supportive and nurturing relationships.
  • Don’t be a prisoner of the hurt done to you. While you are the victim of another who has caused you some suffering, she herself is also a victim of suffering.
  • Nothing like a word of encouragement to provide a lift. Everyone needs hope. Look for honest ways to offer even a little nudge of encouragement.
  • The secret to happiness in relationships is lowering your expectations. You’d be happier to accept other people’s difficult behaviors when you expect less from them.
  • Cancel culture has a condescension problem. If we can’t stand up for the right to speech that we dislike, why keep the right to the speech we do like?

And here are some articles of yesteryear that continue to be popular:

  • Lessons on adversity from Charlie Munger
  • If you’re looking for bad luck, you’ll soon find it
  • The power of negative thinking
  • Fight ignorance, not each other
  • The Fermi Rule & Guesstimation
  • Don’t let small decisions destroy your productivity
  • How smart companies get smarter
  • How to manage smart, powerful leaders
  • Care less for what other people think
  • Expressive writing can help you heal
  • Accidents can happen when you least expect

We wish you all a healthy and prosperous 2023!

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Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Critical Thinking, Decision-Making, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Thought Process

“Fly the Aircraft First”

December 29, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Today is the 50th anniversary of the Flight 401 disaster. I’ve previously cited how the crew of the ill-fated Eastern Airlines Lockheed L-1011 got so single-mindedly preoccupied with tackling a nose landing gear indicator light malfunction that they didn’t pay attention to the fact that their airliner was descending gradually into the Florida Everglades.

In summary, the pilots were too distracted to fly the aircraft. Human factors, specifically cognitive impairments, can precipitate distractions away from vital tasks.

The incident led to a breakthrough called Crew Resource Management (CRM.) This “human nature innovation” actively orients pilots to prioritize tasks in order of operational safety. The adage “Aviate, Navigate, and Communicate (A-N-C)” reinforces the ‘fly the aircraft first’behaviors until they’re internalized and become routine.

The top priority—always—is to aviate. That means fly the airplane by using the flight controls and flight instruments to direct the airplane’s attitude, airspeed, and altitude. Rounding out those top priorities are figuring out where you are and where you’re going (Navigate,) and, as appropriate, talking to ATC or someone outside the airplane (Communicate.) However, it doesn’t matter if we’re navigating and communicating perfectly if we lose control of the aircraft and crash. A-N-C seems simple to follow, but it’s easy to forget when you get busy or distracted in the cockpit.

Idea for Impact: “Fly the aircraft first.” Know when to set aside the seemingly important things to accomplish the more vital ones.

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Filed Under: Business Stories, Effective Communication, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Aviation, Biases, Conflict, Decision-Making, Mindfulness, Problem Solving, Stress, Worry

Inspirational Quotations #977

December 25, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi

In everyday life the exchange of opinion with others checks our partiality and widens our perspective; we are made to see things from the standpoint of others and the limits of our vision are brought home to us.
—John Rawls (American Philosopher)

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more “manhood” to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.
—Alex Karras (American Football Star, Actor)

Citizenship is a tough occupation which obliges the citizen to make his own informed opinion and stand by it.
—Martha Gellhorn (American Novelist, Journalist)

Simplicity is indeed often the sign of truth and a criterion of beauty.
—Mahlon Hoagland (American Biochemist)

It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.
—Benito Mussolini (Italian Head of State)

Money alone isn’t enough to bring happiness . . . happiness is when you’re actually truly ok with losing everything you have.
—Tony Hsieh (American Entrepreneur)

He prays best who does not know that he is praying.
—Anthony of Padua (Portuguese Friar)

Myth is supposed to bring us together, but fantasy alienates us.
—Dustin Hoffman (American Actor)

There are three answers to prayer: yes, no, and wait awhile. It must be recognized that no is an answer.
—Ruth Stafford Peale (American Self-Help Author)

Any creator owes a debt to past creation.
—Lukas Foss (German-American Composer)

Let us consider the nature of true greatness in men. The people who can catch hold of men’s minds and feelings and inspire them to do things bigger than themselves are the people who are remembered in history… . those who stir feelings and imagination and make men struggle toward perfection.
—Henry Eyring (American Chemist)

I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.
—Caskie Stinnett (American Travel Writer, Humorist)

I believe everybody is creative and everybody is talented, I just don’t think that everybody is disciplined. I think that’s a rare commodity.
—Al Hirschfeld (American Caricaturist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Books in Brief: The Power of Introverts

December 24, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Susan Cain’s bestselling Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking (2012) investigates how our schools and offices have an intrinsic cultural bias towards extroverts—they’re more likely to be social and enjoy being in high-stimulus environments.

At a business meeting, for example, extroverts hog the conversation, while introverts are often quiet. Extroverts think by talking and arguing, whereas introverts think and process internally.

I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they’re good talkers, but they don’t have good ideas. It’s so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent. Someone seems like a good presenter, easy to get along with, and those traits are rewarded. Well, why is that? They’re valuable traits, but we put too much of a premium on presenting and not enough on substance and critical thinking.

Idea for Impact: Don’t miss out on introverted excellence.

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Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Assertiveness, Biases, Getting Along, Hiring, Meetings, Personality, Skills for Success, Winning on the Job

How to … Incorporate Exercise into Your Daily Life

December 23, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

An “exercise snack” is a short little bite of physical activity you can do anywhere, anytime. You don’t even need to change your clothes. Try 10 push-ups, stair climbing, or a brisk walk or jog around the block.

Exercise snacking increases the amount of activity in your day, and breaks up sedentary time, which is increasingly being linked to chronic health risks.

It may not seem like much, but several scientific studies show that interleaving brief fitness routines a few times into your day not only encourages your body to feel better, but also contributes to meaningful gains in fitness and overall health. It improves your mood, stimulates creativity, and enhances focus, making it an all-around win for your health and productivity. Best of all, exercise snacking removes the pressure of committing to a long, once-a-day sweaty session.

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Discipline, Getting Things Done, Motivation, Time Management, Wellbeing

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!