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Etiquette: Protocol of Introducing People

November 3, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi 38 Comments

The purpose of introducing people is to give them an opportunity to know each other. Beyond just stating names of the two parties, the person making the introduction is often obligated to establish an acquaintance and help the two parties initiate a conversation.

The Art of Making Introductions: Four Steps

The basic protocol of introductions calls for introducing the ‘lesser-ranking’ (socially, professionally, by age or seniority) to the ‘higher-ranking’ person. Here are four steps:

  1. First, state the name of the person being introduced to. This is the ‘higher-ranking’ person.
  2. Second, say “I would like to introduce” or, “please meet” or, “this is,” etc.
  3. Third, state the name of the person being introduced. This is the ‘lower-ranking’ person.
  4. Finally, offer some details about each, as appropriate. As I wrote in a previous article, add a snippet of information about a topic of common interest between the two parties. Do not elaborate. This will help them connect and pursue a conversation.

The foremost principle of etiquette for making introductions lies in understanding reverence and respect. Here are some guidelines.

Higher Ranking Person Lower Ranking Person Example: Introduce lower-ranking person to higher-ranking person
An older person A younger person “Grandma, this is my neighbour, John”
A senior professional A junior professional “Mrs. President, this is Mr. Analyst”
A customer A team of employees “Mr. Customer, this is my sales team”
A guest A host “Ms. New Yorker, this is my daughter, Sarah”
A guest from out-of-town A local guest “Mr. Australian, this is my neighbour Janet”
Peer from another company Peer from your company “Mr. IBMer, this is Ms. Edwards”

When introducing people of equal seniority or status, you may introduce either person to the other.

Making Introductions: A Few Examples

  • Introduce a younger person to an older person. “Grandma, please meet Alicia and Carlos, my neighbors.”
  • Introduce a relatively junior professional to a senior professional. “Ms. Director, I would like to introduce Mr. Nakamura, the Chief Product Architect for our software division.”
  • Introduce an employee to a customer. “Mr. Sung, I would like to introduce our plastics engineering team. This is Mark Smith, Jessica Ramos and Liang Zhu. All three participated in last week’s teleconference regarding product definition.”
  • Introduce a host to a guest. “Elaine, I don’t think you have met my daughter, Anna. Anna arranged for all the food at this festival party. Anna, Elaine is my Project Manager.”
  • Introduce a local guest to a guest from out-of-town. “Charlie, this is Debbie. Debbie is my colleague from work. Debbie, Charlie is visiting me from New York. We shared an apartment when we were at Columbia together.”
  • Introduce a peer from your company to a peer from another organization. “Melissa, I would like you to meet Steve, our Systems Engineer. Steve, Melissa Hoffmann is from Marketing. She is our Account Manager for Wal-Mart.”

Gender Distinction

Customarily, a number of people introduce a man to a woman out of respect, regardless of the guidelines presented above.

When introducing a man and a woman at work, consider their positions and seniorities alone. Outside of work, it may be more appropriate to introduce a man to a woman, in contradiction to the above guidelines. Be judicious and sensitive.

Concluding Thoughts

Many people have difficulty introducing people to one another and helping initiate a conversation. With some practice and a sense of social and/or professional ranking, you too can master the art of introduction.

Wondering what to read next?

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Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Etiquette, Social Skills

You Have a Pile of Reading Material at Your Desk?

October 28, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In this ‘information overload’ era, you confront a sizeable quantity of reading material everyday: books, magazines, newspapers, memos, reports, and so forth. You are incessantly pressed for time. Consequently, you probably have a stack of reading material accumulating at a corner of your desk.

Here are four habits to help manage your reading material.

Preview

  • Preview memos, magazine- and newsletter-articles. Scrutinize the table of contents, and for each article that may seem interesting, scan through section-headings, introductory and concluding paragraphs, illustrations and keywords in boldface or italics. If you ought to read an article, tear-away or photocopy the relevant pages and add them to a ‘To Read’ folder.
  • Preview books before buying or borrowing a book. Check reviews on Amazon.com or other websites. Scan the jacket cover, table of contents and chapter headings. After obtaining the book, focus on reading only chapters and sections that are relevant to your interests.

Organize

  • Manage Reading Material - Organize Discard old reading material. If your reading material expands into a disorganized—and perhaps intimidating—pile, consider discarding the older articles, likely at the bottom of your pile. The content of these articles may no longer be relevant. In addition, you will probably never get to reading them.
  • Classify for priority. Assess the importance of every article and organize your reading material into two or three groups. This way, if your reading stack gets unmanageable, you may discard the least-important group.

Expand Comprehension

  • Read with purpose. Throughout your reading, ask yourself questions such as “What are the key details discussed here? How are these details relevant? What are the take-away ideas? What can I learn? How can I change?”
  • Read the first and last lines of each paragraph to help grasp the premise of the entire paragraph. Check the summary or highlights first.
  • Study tables, illustrations, graphics and charts carefully. Characteristically, these visual elements contain comprehensive information that may summarize entire sections of text.

Stay On Top

  • Carry your ‘To Read’ folder in your briefcase or bag so you can read while waiting for an appointment with your dentist or at an airport waiting to board your flight.
  • Set aside time for reading. Dedicate convenient times for reading activities and add these times to your calendar. Even brief periods of focused reading can be very productive.

Concluding Thoughts

In this fast-paced world, reading can be overwhelming. By prioritizing and adopting the above habits, you can make significant improvements to your ability to read more quickly and efficiently.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Read Faster and Better
  2. How to … Read More Books
  3. How to Process that Pile of Books You Can’t Seem to Finish [+ 5 Other Reading Hacks]
  4. Rip and Read During Little Pockets of Time
  5. A Guide to Intelligent Reading // Book Summary of Mortimer Adler’s ‘How to Read a Book’

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Books, Reading

Mentoring: The Best Advice You Can Offer

October 9, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

A newer employee recently approached you for advice on a particularly thorny personal problem she was facing at work. She had an idea for tackling her problem. You had discouraged her idea citing a couple of reasons and offered your own idea as the best solution to her problem. “Advice from years of experience,” you had added. She had nodded her head in agreement.

A couple of weeks later, you discover that she had disregarded your advice and pursued her original idea. You are now annoyed at her and grumble: “Such a waste of my time! Why do people come to me for advice when they don’t intend to pay attention to my ideas? Nobody seems to respect words of wisdom anymore.”

Does the above experience sound familiar? Aren’t we often all-too-eager to offer others advice?

In the above narrative, the newer employee may not have wanted to take the suggested approach—she followed her own idea to manage her problem. Herein is one fundamental reality about offering advice: people rarely listen to others’ advice if they see a contradiction in their advice. In other words, the best advice you can offer others is the advice that they come up with themselves.

Mary Kay Ash on the Art of Listening

Mary Kay Ash, American entrepreneur and founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics discusses the art of listening in her book ‘People Management.’

Some of the most successful people-managers are also the best listeners.

[One manager] had been hired by a large corporation to assume the role of sales manager. But he knew absolutely nothing about the specifics of the business. When salespeople would go to him for answers, there wasn’t anything he could tell them–because he didn’t know anything! Nonetheless, this man really knew how to listen. So no matter what they would ask him, he’d answer, “What do you think you ought to do?” They’d come up with a solution; he’d agree; and they’d leave satisfied. They thought he was fantastic. He taught me this valuable listening technique, and I have been applying it ever since.

Many of the problems I hear don’t require me to offer solutions. I solve most of them by just listening and letting the grieving party do the talking. If I listen long enough, the person will generally come up with an adequate solution.

Call for Action

When a person approaches you for advice, he/she may have some faint idea to tackle the problem at hand.

Or, the person has already developed an idea. He/she would like you to serve as a ‘sounding-board’ for the idea–to reinforce the idea and confirm that this approach is appropriate.

After listening attentively to the person’s thoughts, ask “What do you think you ought to do?” Skilfully, lead the thought-process and encourage him/her to develop the solution. With this buy-in, the person will more likely follow your—really, his/her own—advice.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Etiquette, Mentoring, Social Skills

How to Examine a Process and Ask the Right Questions

September 29, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi 2 Comments

Method Study and Critical Examination

Method study is a practice of examining methods of doing work: work-flows, processes, etc. The key component of method study is ‘critical examination.’ Author Michael Armstrong describes critical examination in his ‘Handbook of Management Techniques.’

Critical examination uses the questioning approach to find out what, how, when, where and, most importantly, why and activity is carried out, and who does it. From this analysis, two fundamental questions are posed: (1) Does the activity need to be done at all? If so, (2) Are there any better ways of doing it?

The questioning approach for critical examination is described in the following chart. This chart is also available as a hand-out (PDF download) for quick reference.

Questioning Approach Critical Examination

Call for Action

A great degree of professional work–in engineering, management, finances, and other functions of the modern corporation–involves analysis of products, procedures and systems. Here, thought-processes involve asking, and seeking answers to, a series of questions.

In my role as an engineer and manager, I carry the above chart of questions to meetings and brainstorming sessions. The chart helps me ask the right questions on the intent of a process or system and gain a big-picture perspective for my work or task at hand.

Download the critical examination handout, post it at your cubicle and refer to the chart for help on asking the right questions.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Creativity, Questioning, Thought Process

The Waiter Rule: A Window to Personality

September 12, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Window to An Individual’s Personality

This article in USA Today says that how one treats a waiter can predict a lot about the person’s character.

The article quotes Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson and Sara Lee CEO Brenda Barnes.

A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person. Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with. Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.

How executives treat waiters probably demonstrates how they treat their actual employees. Sitting in the chair of CEO makes me no better of a person than the forklift operator in our plant. If you treat the waiter, or a subordinate, like garbage, guess what? Are they going to give it their all? I don’t think so.

“The Waiter Rule”

We presume each person’s influence is a function of his/her rank or title. Consequently, we may fail to treat everybody as we wish to be treated.

All of us, especially the ones from the service and hospitality industries, have our favourite stories of people who treated us with dignity: perhaps a manager who remembers her employees’ kids’ names or a fellow-passenger who helped us handle luggage on a flight. We also have our tales of people being indifferent in various contexts: perhaps a new secretary who got yelled at for mistakes by an executive-on-fast-track.

Fundamentally, the ‘Waiter Rule’ indicates that how we treat seemingly insignificant people, whether on a date or a job interview, can provide pointers to our personality and priorities.

Call for Action

Contemplate the following:

  • Consider your own experiences when you were touched by others–their thoughtfulness or consideration. How did you return their kindness? Additionally, think about circumstances when you felt disrespected or discouraged. How did you react?
  • Now, reflect on how you treat people: your loved ones, your staff and colleagues, ushers, store attendants, and the rest of the people you interact with everyday. Do you accept who they are and accommodate their concerns? Are you generous? Do you treat them as people or as a means to an end? How can you change?

Wondering what to read next?

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  4. Want to be more likeable? Improve your customer service? Adopt Sam Walton’s “Ten-Foot Rule”
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Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Courtesy, Likeability, Personality, Virtues

The Informed Business Traveler

August 19, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The informed business traveller: Develop Curiosity

Patrick McGovern, the founder and president of the International Data Group (IDG,) offers the following tips for business travellers in the April 2007 issue of the Inc. Magazine.

  • Get Briefed: I prepare a briefing book with the latest economic and business information on countries I am about to visit. I cull most of the information from the Internet.
  • Arrive Early: For first-time visits, I like to arrive in a country on Saturday and spend the weekend wandering around observing people’s behavior. I gain a sense of the pace and the culture: how fast people walk, how they gesture when they talk, what they wear, what they read. It puts me in sync for my Monday meetings.
  • Bear Gifts: In Asia, Latin America, and Africa its good form to present your host with a gift. It needn’t be lavish: a book about the city you live in, an engraved paperweight, or a silver business card holder will do just fine.
  • Practice Humility: In many cultures it’s considered impolite to boast about yourself or your company’s accomplishments. However, talking about your children and asking about those of your hosts is a great way to bond. Also, work in references to your philanthropic activities. It suggests you will share your success with local worthy causes.

Call for Action

To facilitate intelligent conversations with people you meet on travel, be more knowledgeable about the place and people you will visit. Ahead of your departure, collect more information about your destination: its history, the surrounding geography, the heritage, famous people, sports teams, etc. Upon arrival, try to walk around your hotel or in the downtown and get a feel for your destination. This initiative will enable you to cultivate your curiosity. People you will meet will then feel you are interested in them, thus facilitating your interactions.

Practice being an informed business traveller—being interested.

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills

Broaden Your Thinking and Grow on Your Job

August 11, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Jeffrey Immelt on Keys to Great Leadership

In an interview in the Fast Company Magazine, General Electric’s CEO Jeffrey Immelt reveals his checklist of leadership skills. Perhaps the most significant of these skills is the understanding perspective on one’s job.

“Understand breadth, depth, and context. The most important thing I’ve learned since becoming CEO is context. It’s how your company fits in with the world and how you respond to it.”

The Problem: A Narrow Outlook of our Work

As I elaborated in a previous blog article, we get busy doing and fail to devote time for deep thinking. We concentrate on the minutiae of our work. We forget that these tasks are a part of a larger canvas–an element of a large value-addition process. If you are a metallurgy scientist, your work may be a part of the large value-addition process of converting raw material into turbine blades for jet engines that power large aircrafts. If you are computer programmer working on a small software module, your work may be a small component of software that enables customers to trade stocks directly from their cell phones.

Call for Action: Understand the Big-Picture

The key to understanding the broader aspects of your work is to make a special effort to learn more than what is in front of your face. In addition to understanding the boss’s description of your task or a work-procedure, you need to ask why you need to do what you have been asked to do. Begin by asking the following questions.

  • How does your organisation make money from what you do? How does your company make money to pay you?
  • How do you fit into the value-addition chain? What are the steps involved? What is the flow of information, money and materials?
  • Who is the end customer? Why does he/she need the product or service your organisation is building? What is the fundamental problem the customer is trying to solve? How does you work solve this problem?
  • How will the customer use with the particular product or service your organisation is developing? What other features can your organisation add to your product or service to help the customer? What else can you do to help the customer?

Employees who understand the broader context of their jobs and embrace the big-picture perspective of the value-addition process are more inclined to grow quickly because, in addition to technical skills, their repertoire includes the wide-ranging commercial viewpoint of the fundamental problems at hand.

Wondering what to read next?

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  5. This is Yoga for the Brain: Multidisciplinary Learning

Filed Under: Career Development, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Winning on the Job

The Time to Think

July 28, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In the age of knowledge work, we are all paid to think—to evaluate solution-paths and solve problems creatively. Yet, we get busy doing and fail to devote part of our days for deep thinking.

In today’s workplace, we all have too much to do in too little time with too few resources at hand. This faster pace of work-life coupled with the emphasis on getting things done has come to accentuate busyness. The result is that we lack a sense of control of our time. We do not take the time out to think and plan.

The Tragedy of Our Times

If I had eight hours to chop a tree,
I would spend six hours sharpening my axe.
* Unknown

Jack Trout, author and business leader, explains that with “No Time to Think,” we have become a world of reactors.

With the world of work getting more complex and difficult, and with the demands of people, cell phones, BlackBerrys or just too much communication, having the quiet and time to sort things out and figure what to do is fast disappearing. We have become a world of reactors, not thinkers, at a time when good thinking is so desperately needed.

Publisher-CEO Michael Hyatt advocates “Finding More ‘Head Time.'”

Most of us don’t spend time thinking. We are so busy doing that we have almost forgotten how to think. Yet it is our thinking, more than any other single activity, that influences our outcomes.

The problems we face will not likely be solved by working harder. New gadgets won’t really help either. In fact, I sometimes fear that our many gadgets have only added unnecessary clutter to our lives. What we need is better, more profound thinking.

Call for Action: Book Frequent Quiet-Time

Thinking requires a great deal of time and energy. With frequent interruptions and distractions, dedicating time for deep thinking or intense work can be very challenging. Schedule frequent quiet-times into your day.

During each quiet-time session, completely shut yourself off from your colleagues, from e-mail, phone calls and other distractions. Use this time to focus on challenging or highly-priority tasks. Reserve a conference room in your facility, arrive early at work or work at your local library. Even brief periods of dedicated thinking or work can make your day vastly productive.

In addition to booking frequent quiet time, assess time- and energy-wasters. Filter incoming information, delegate effectively, automate routine tasks, fight-off distractions and frequent interruptions from your colleagues, and, be selective in what meetings you attend.

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Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Getting Things Done, Time Management

The Foundation of Great Relationships: Get to Know People

June 16, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi 2 Comments

An Act of Astonishing Leadership

In a sermon on the meaning of work, Nancy Ortberg of the Menlo Park Presbyterian Church, recalled an astonishing leadership act from when she worked as an emergency room nurse earlier in her career.

“It was about 10:30 p.m. The room was a mess. I was finishing up some work on the chart before going home. The doctor with whom I loved working was debriefing a new doctor, who had done a very respectable, competent job, telling him what he’d done well and what he could have done differently.”

“Then he put his hand on the young doctor’s shoulder and said, ‘When you finished, did you notice the young man from housekeeping who came in to clean the room?’ There was a completely blank look on the young doctor’s face.”

“The older doctor said, ‘His name is Carlos. He’s been here for three years. He does a fabulous job. When he comes in he gets the room turned around so fast that you and I can get our next patients in quickly. His wife’s name is Maria. They have four children.’ Then he named each of the four children and gave each child’s age.”

“The older doctor went on to say, ‘He lives in a rented house about three blocks from here, in Santa Ana. They’ve been up from Mexico for about five years. His name is Carlos,’ he repeated. Then he said, ‘Next week I would like you to tell me something about Carlos that I don’t already know. Okay? Now, let’s go check on the rest of the patients.'”

“I remember standing there writing my nursing notes–stunned–and thinking, I have just witnessed breathtaking leadership.”

Call for Action: Get to Know People

Getting to know and caring for people is the foundation of great relationships, both in our personal and professional lives. We know little about the people we interact with on a daily basis—often, we know nothing beyond their first and last names, and their functional responsibilities.

Here are seven fundamental steps to help know people.

  • Most people are enthusiastic about sharing their stories—of where they grew up, their life-experiences, travels, hobbies, interests, or children. Depending on the level of acquaintance, gauge whether a specific person would be comfortable with talking about himself/herself.
  • Consider asking open-ended questions. Initial questions can focus on a favourite sport, travel or school/career history.
  • A person’s desk may provide clues for conversation starters. Some people have pictures of kids, pets or their hometown. Others have memorabilia from a sports team they support or their school. Some others have plaques from the awards and recognitions they won. People are keen to talk about these interests—they are great topics to start conversations on.
  • Listen carefully. Make a mental note of the details the person provides.
  • Relate to the other person’s stories and share your experiences. This helps the other person to get to know you too.
  • After your conversation, jot down a few details to facilitate a follow-up conversation later. For instance, if your project manager talked about her children, write down the kids’ names, their school, etc.
  • Be careful not to pry too deep. Steer away from conversations on social or economic status, health, faith, and other personal details. Watch for gestures of discomfort when you ask questions.

Listening to people and getting to know them transforms your relationships: it helps you connect with people positively and discover shared values/interests. At a higher level, it demonstrates your caring for your people and helps you influence them or facilitate change, depending on the nature of your relationship with them.

Notes: Reference to Nancy Ortberg’s sermon via Guy Kawasaki of Garage Ventures and Rich Karlgaard of Forbes Magazine.

Wondering what to read next?

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  3. ‘I Told You So’
  4. Witty Comebacks and Smart Responses for Nosy People
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Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Getting Along, Great Manager, Social Life

Three Habits to Create More Personal Time

June 1, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In the February 2006 issue of the Entrepreneur magazine, “Smart Moves” columnist Chris Penttila offered twenty-five ways to simplify business and life for entrepreneurs. Here are his three guidelines to create more personal-time for ourselves.

  • Create boundaries. Set aside 10 minutes after lunch to make and return personal calls. Set a time for leaving the office every day, no matter how busy you are. And spend at least two hours doing something fun before you burn some late-night oil. Your family will thank you.
  • Shorten your to-do list. “A to-do list is nothing but a wish list.” A long to-do list leaves less time to focus on revenue-generating ideas. Instead, focus on the top three urgent tasks for the day. The rest can wait.
  • Love your inner Luddite. Entrepreneurs who become slaves to gadgets “are running reactive businesses and being reactive with their time.” Try working unplugged–this means no internet connection and absolutely no phone calls–for one hour every morning. It will give you a sense of accomplishment that lasts all day.

Call for Action

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”
— Guillaume Apollinaire (1880-1918,) French Poet

Balancing the various demands on our time is a challenge for most of us. Evaluate your daily routines and habits. Use the above guidelines to simplify your lifestyle and spend time on people, hobbies, travel and activities you enjoy. Brainstorm ideas with friends and family. Be realistic in what you can expect to achieve; do not over-plan. On your journey to success and prosperity in life, make sure you enjoy the journey.

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  3. How to … Make a Dreaded Chore More Fun
  4. Your To-Do List Isn’t a Wish List: Add to It Selectively
  5. Busyness is a Lack of Priorities

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Time Management

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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