Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Nagesh Belludi

Why It’s So Hard to Apologize

By Leave a Comment

Offering an Apology Can Feel Like a Sign of Weakness

Some people feel that apologizing carries deeper psychological ramifications than their words imply.

Apologizing feels far too vulnerable—too threatening even. Non-apologizers find it challenging to set aside their pride long enough to concede their imperfections. They depend on external validation, and therefore, they need to be seen as correct, strong, and powerful. Admitting they are flawed and fallible is thus something they refuse to do.

Offering an Apology Can Feel Like a Sign of Weakness

In sum, refusing to apologize often echoes a conscious or subconscious effort to protect a fragile sense of self. Apologies require a reasonably robust sense of self-worth, and often non-apologizers feel that regrets for their actions significantly threaten their basic sense of identity and self-esteem. They fear it’d open the floodgates to more vulnerability and blame. They’re pathologically afraid of being wrong.

When a person’s sense of self is threatened, they counter-attack and double down on their position. Other times, a self-preservation instinct will lead people to offer a submission—a calculated, face-saving “non-apology apology” that doesn’t suggest proper accountability.

Other non-apologizers can be oblivious to the effect their actions have on others. They don’t apologize because they are unaware that they have something—anything even—to apologize for. They lack empathy and can’t put themselves in the other person’s place.

Why It's So Hard to Apologize

Idea for Impact: It Takes Strength to Apologize Meaningfully

Learn to work past your fears and resistance to apologizing. Apologizing for the harm you’ve caused and taking responsibility for your mistakes can indeed be a sign of strength.

Effective apologies empathize with the wronged party and address the recipients’ feelings—they don’t need to prove a point. Name what you did wrong, show yourself as regretful, and indicate what might be different in the future.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Avoid Control Talk
  2. But, Excuse Me, I’m Type A: The Ultimate Humblebrag?
  3. I Told You So
  4. Here’s How to Improve Your Conversational Skills
  5. Entitlement and Anger Go Together

Inspirational Quotations #984

By

Show not your teeth when you are unable to bite.
—Mexican Proverb

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
—William Hutchinson Murray (Scottish Mountaineer)

When evil times prevail, take care to preserve the serenity of your heart.
—Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus) (Roman Poet)

The aim of life is to attain peace. No one can give us peace. We can’t buy or borrow it. We have to cultivate it by practicing.
—Baba Hari Dass (Indian-American Hindu Yogi)

It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
—Woody Allen (American Film Actor, Director)

Faults that are rich are fair.
—William Shakespeare (British Playwright)

The theologian considers sin mainly as an offence against God; the moral philosopher as contrary to reasonableness.
—Thomas Aquinas (Italian Catholic Priest)

A political organization is a transferable commodity. You could not find a better way of killing virtue than by packing it into one of these contraptions which some gang of thieves is sure to find useful.
—John Jay Chapman (American Writer)

The reformer for whom the world is not good enough finds himself shoulder to shoulder with him that is not good enough for the world.
—George Bernard Shaw (Irish Playwright)

When men grow virtuous in their old age, they only make a sacrifice to God of the devil’s leavings.
—Jonathan Swift (Irish Satirist)

The mark of the man of the world is absence of pretension. He does not make a speech; he takes a low business-tone, avoids all brag, is nobody, dresses plainly, promises not at all, performs much, speaks in monosyllables, hugs his fact. He calls his employment by its lowest name, and so takes from evil tongues their sharpest weapon. His conversation clings to the weather and the news, yet he allows himself to be surprised into thought, and the unlocking of his learning and philosophy.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Philosopher)

Extreme positions are not succeeded by moderate ones, but by contrary extreme positions.
—Friedrich Nietzsche (German Philosopher, Scholar)

How to Complete a Capstone Project on Conflict Management

By Leave a Comment

Conflict is a natural part of human relationships and interactions. Disagreements and disputes will inevitably arise in our personal and professional lives. However, effective conflict management is critical in maintaining healthy and productive relationships within organizations and society at large.

How to Complete a Capstone Project on Conflict Management

A capstone project is a comprehensive and culminating project that represents the culmination of a student’s educational experience.

A capstone project on conflict management can provide students with an opportunity to delve into the complexities of managing conflicts and to develop the skills and knowledge necessary to become effective conflict managers.

Steps to Complete a Capstone Project on Conflict Management

There are many ways of completing this type of assignment. However, wouldn’t it be easier and faster to follow proven steps that work well for many students? Let us share them with you below. They will work on a capstone project on conflict management as well.

Choose a Topic for Your Project

The first step in completing a capstone conflict management project is choosing a topic.

  • Consider areas of conflict that are relevant to your field of study. This could be conflicts in the workplace, conflicts between individuals, conflicts between organizations, conflicts with defensive people, or conflicts within communities.

  • Once you have identified a general area of interest, choose a specific conflict to focus on. This will make it easier for you to gather data, conduct research, and complete your project.

  • When choosing a topic, make sure it is relevant and current. Conflict management is a constantly evolving field, and it is important to choose a topic that reflects the latest developments and trends.

This will not only help you stay up-to-date with the latest information and best practices, but it will also make your project more interesting and engaging.

Conduct In-Depth Research for Your Project

Once you have chosen a topic, the next step is to conduct a thorough literature review. Gather data from a variety of sources, including academic journals, books, and online sources. Analyze the data to gain a better understanding of the conflict and to identify effective conflict management strategies.

Develop a Plan of How You Want to Complete the Project

Once you have gathered and analyzed the data, it is time to develop a plan for your project. Determine the scope and objectives of your project, and break it down into smaller, manageable tasks.

Create a timeline for completing each task, and set deadlines for each project stage.

This will help you stay organized and on track and ensure you have enough time to complete each task thoroughly.

Execute the Plan

With your plan in place, it is time to start executing it. Follow the timeline you created, and refine and adjust the plan as needed. Document your process and results, and keep track of any challenges you encounter along the way.

Write the Final Report

The final step in completing a capstone project on conflict management in family is to write the final report. Summarize your research and findings, and discuss the implications of your research. Draw conclusions, make recommendations, and present your report clearly and professionally.

Tips for a Successful Capstone Project on Conflict Management

To make it even easier for you, we’ve picked some tips to help you complete a successful capstone project on conflict management.

Capstone Project Plan of How You Want to Complete the Project

Start Early

Starting early is key to a successful capstone project. The earlier you start, the more time you will have to conduct research, gather data, and complete your project. This will also reduce stress and allow you to take your time and do a thorough job.

Choose a Topic You’re Passionate About

Choosing a topic that you’re passionate about will make the project more enjoyable and increase your motivation to complete it. When you are passionate about your topic, you will be more likely to put in the time and effort necessary to complete the project successfully.

Get Feedback from Others

Feedback from others is a great way to improve your project and receive constructive criticism. Consider sharing your project with classmates, professors, or professionals in the field of conflict management. They may have valuable insights and suggestions to help you take your project to the next level.

Use High-Quality Sources

Make sure to use high-quality sources in your research. This includes academic journals, books, and reputable online sources. Using quality sources will help you stay up-to-date with the latest information and best practices and ensure that your project is credible and well-supported.

Stay Organized

Staying organized is critical for a successful capstone project. Keep track of your research, data, and findings, and stay on top of deadlines and milestones. This will help you stay focused and avoid last-minute stress.

Hire Experts to Help You

Hiring a capstone project help service can be a smart decision for students who are struggling with the demands of their project or who simply want to ensure that their project is completed to the highest standards.

You may think, “If I pay someone to do my capstone project, what will I get?”. Normally, you’ll be connected with a team of experienced and professional writers, editors, and researchers who can assist with every aspect of your project, from research and data collection to writing and editing.

  • One of the biggest benefits of hiring capstone project experts is that you can rely on their deep understanding of the subject matter and the skills necessary to complete a high-quality project.

  • On top of that, it can save you time and reduce stress. A capstone project is a complex and time-consuming, and it can be overwhelming for students who are already facing a heavy course load and other responsibilities.

By hiring a capstone project service, you can free up time to focus on their other responsibilities, knowing that their project is in good hands.

Conclusion

A capstone project on conflict management provides students with an opportunity to develop the skills and knowledge necessary to become effective conflict managers.

If you follow the steps outlined in this post and implement these tips, you can complete a comprehensive and compelling capstone project that showcases your expertise in conflict management.

The importance of conflict management in today’s society cannot be overstated, and a successful capstone project on conflict management can provide you with a valuable foundation for a successful career.

Never Make a Big Decision Without Doing This First

By Leave a Comment

In 1943, General Motors (GM) brought in Peter Drucker to conduct a two-year social-scientific examination of what was then the world’s largest corporation. Drucker conducted many interviews with GM’s corporate leaders, divisional managers, department chiefs, and line workers. He analyzed decision-making and production processes. The resultant landmark study, Concept of the Corporation (1946,) laid the foundations of scientific management as a formal discipline.

Alfred P. Sloan, Jr., who built General Motors into one of the world's largest companies One anecdote that Drucker liked to share from his GM research involved how his client, GM supremo Alfred P. Sloan, Jr., generally encouraged disagreements:

During a meeting in which GM’s top management team was considering a weighty decision, Sloan closed the meeting by asking, “Gentlemen, I take it we are all in complete agreement on the decision here?”

Sloan then waited as each member of the assembled committee nodded in agreement.

Sloan continued, “Then, I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understanding of what this decision is about.”

Concrete Disagreement Stimulates Thought

Strong leaders encourage their team members to challenge them and question consensus. Leaders so counter the tendency toward synthetic harmony that emanates from group thinking and the risk of unchallenged leadership.

A team member with a difference of opinion or contrary position that’s well rooted in rationale is not to be reprimanded. He may have judgments worth listening to or recommendations worth heeding. Every team needs at least one to keep the team from falling into complacency. A team’s culture shouldn’t shun discouragement and conflict.. Look out, though, for team members who merely pay lip service to allow for the counterargument.

There are three reasons why dissent is needed. It first safeguards the decision maker against becoming the prisoner of the organization. Everybody is special pleader, trying—often in perfectly good faith—to obtain the decision he favors. Second, disagreement alone can provide alternatives to decision. And decision without an alternative is desperate gamblers’ throw, no matter how carefully thought through it might be. Above all, disagreement is needed to stimulate the imagination.

Lessons from General Motors: How Conflict Creates Innovative Teams

The Best Leaders Encourage Disagreements

Dissent and disagreement are critical to combat confirmation bias—the human tendency to readily seek and accept ostensible facts that match our existing worldview rather than objectively considering alternative viewpoints and unintended consequences.

'Management Tasks, Responsibilities, Practices' by Peter F. Drucker (ISBN 0887306152) What’s worse, leaders tend to surround themselves with like-minded individuals—people they trust and people who think alike. Drucker later wrote in his wide-ranging treatise on Management: Tasks, Responsibilities, Practices (1974,)

Sloan always emphasized the need to test opinions against facts and the need to make absolutely sure that one did not start out with the conclusion and then look for the facts that would support it. But he knew that the right decision demands adequate disagreement.

An effective decision-maker organizes dissent. This protects him against being taken in by the plausible but false or incomplete. It gives him the alternatives so that he can choose and make a decision, but also ensures that he is not lost in the fog when his decision proves deficient or wrong in execution. And it forces the imagination—his own and that of his associates. Dissent converts the plausible into the right and the right into the good decision.

Idea for Impact: The more you encourage healthy debate within your team, the better off you’ll be

The first rule in decision-making should be that you don’t make any decision unless you’ve sought out and contemplated the counterevidence. Consider the other side of any idea as carefully as your own.

Wise leaders proactively seek the truth they don’t want to find. Encourage authentic dissenting opinions to generate more—and better—solutions to problems.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Consensus is Dangerous
  2. Couldn’t We Use a Little More Civility and Respect in Our Conversations?
  3. Confirm Key Decisions in Writing
  4. Cancel Culture has a Condescension Problem
  5. Charlie Munger’s Iron Prescription

You Can’t Serve Two Masters

By Leave a Comment

The Two-Boss Dilemma: How to Please More Than One

Learning to “serve two masters” and managing multiple supervisors is a vital skill in today’s work world. Organizations have increasingly embraced matrix structures, with “dashed line” reporting (you work under a supervisor who doesn’t do your performance reviews) and “solid line” reporting (the true boss who evaluates your performance.) Do your best to accommodate the latter, but don’t overlook the other(s.)

Further, with cross-functional teams, it’s common these days to have multiple team-based supervisors, each overseeing your work on different projects. If you’re not cautious, it’ll become all too easy for each supervisor to regard you as if you have no other commitments, and you can end up letting them both down.

The key to managing expectations at odds is insisting on boundaries. If you aren’t too careful, you could become totally overwhelmed—each boss isn’t mindful of what the other’s sending you. Each ends up pushing their own agendas regardless of what you already bear on your plate.

To resolve the two-boss dilemma and try to please everybody, take the initiative and get your bosses to cooperate and liaise regularly:

  • Create and maintain one master priority list of everything on your plate. Update it at the beginning of every week, and make sure both bosses have a copy. This should help each understand how any emergent task would jibe with the other items on your list.
  • When one boss drops an urgent task on your lap, refer to the master priority list and ask, “If you want me to do this, what is it you want me to take off the list because I also have three other deliverables due in the next few days.”
  • Multiple Boss Madness Establish a daily 5- or 10-minute standing coordination meeting (“scrum”) with all the bosses. In the meeting, point out your current and impending priorities. They can adjust their relative preferences for you.
  • Don’t be the “go-between” and agree to speak on behalf of one boss to the other—especially if they aren’t speaking to each other. There’s much ambiguity, and managing conflict can become a significant challenge for you.

Even if you have multiple supervisors whom you take direction from, you’re likely to have one boss who’s ultimately responsible for their career. This boss will judge your performance and decide about your compensation and promotions. Tell her about your double bind and see if she can work out an acceptable arrangement with her colleague.

Idea for Impact: Remember to maintain good relations with everybody you work with. Personnel changes are widespread and frequent in most companies, and you never know who’ll be your next boss. Don’t strain your relationships with the other.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Be Friends with Your Boss
  2. No Boss Likes a Surprise—Good or Bad
  3. Tips for Working for a Type-A Boss
  4. The Good of Working for a Micromanager
  5. Five Ways … You Could Score Points with Your Boss

Inspirational Quotations #983

By

Be as careful of the books you read, as of the company you keep; for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as by the latter.
—Edwin Paxton Hood (English Nonconformist Divine)

Every one is the son of his own works.
—Miguel de Cervantes (Spanish Novelist)

Our achievements speak for themselves. What we have to keep track of are our failures, discouragements and doubts. We tend to forget the past difficulties, the many false starts, and the painful groping. We see our past achievements as the end results of.
—Eric Hoffer (American Philosopher)

In giving, a man receives more than he gives; and the more is in proportion to the worth of the thing given.
—George MacDonald (Scottish Poet, Novelist)

That load becomes light which is cheerfully borne.
—Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso) (Roman Poet)

He has no fault except that he has no fault.
—Pliny the Younger (Roman Senator, Writer)

Passions are merely ideas in their initial stage. They are the property of youth, and anyone who expects to feel their thrill throughout his life is a fool. Tranquil rivers often begin as roaring waterfalls, but no river leaps and foams all the way to the sea. Tranquility, however, is often a sign of great, if hidden, power. Intensity and depth of feeling and thought preclude wild outbursts of passion; in sorrow and joy the soul takes careful stock of every situation, and sees that so it must be.
—Mikhail Lermontov (Russian Novelist, Poet)

A grown man who can shed tears without embarrassment is like a yogi who has learned to expel toxic matter from his body by consciously speeding up the peristaltic rhythm. He can eliminate many of life’s poisons.
—Christopher Isherwood (Anglo-American Novelist, Playwright)

Drive thy business, let not that drive thee.
—Benjamin Franklin (American Founding Father, Inventor)

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.
—Cecil Frances Alexander (Irish Hymn Writer)

Gunning for average is your best shot at finishing above average.
—John C. Bogle (American Mutual Fund Pioneer)

Racism and Identity: The Lie of Labeling

By Leave a Comment

This video examines how categorical labeling and the us-versus-them mentality it fosters are at the heart of division and, subsequently, intolerance and non-acceptance.

From birth, the world force-feeds us these labels, and eventually, we all swallow them. We digest and accept the labels, never ever doubting them, but there’s one problem. Labels are not you, and labels are not me. Labels are just labels. Who we truly are is skin deep. Who we truly are is found inside.

Labels forever blind us from seeing a person for whom they are, but instead force us to see them through the judgmental, prejudicial, artificial filters of who we think they are.

Labels Aren’t Just Idle Placeholders

Racism and Identity: The Lie of Labeling Labels determine what we see. As essayist James Baldwin cautions in The Price of the Ticket (1985,) “As long as you think you are white, there is no hope for you. Because as long as you think you’re white, I’m forced to think I’m black.”

We’ve used the lie of labeling to define and separate people for millennia. We emotionally and intellectually enslave ourselves when we believe the lie of a label. Then we enslave others. Even forcing people to self-identify by labels reinforces separation, stereotyping, and divisiveness.

Rigid stereotypes of out-group norms follow. Such attitudes are harmful because they overlook the full humanity and uniqueness of all people. When our perceptions of different races are distorted and stereotypical, it’s demeaning, devaluing, limiting, and hurtful to others.

Idea for Impact: Let’s Stop Sidestepping the Human Behind the Labels

What we need now—more than ever—is an individual and collective shift from tolerance to acceptance (it’s possible to be tolerant without being accepting, but it isn’t possible to be accepting without first being tolerant.) In so doing, we can work to create a society in which everyone is valued, appreciated, and embraced.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Stop Stigmatizing All Cultural ‘Appropriation’
  2. Cancel Culture has a Condescension Problem
  3. The Problem of Living Inside Echo Chambers
  4. Can’t Ban Political Talk at Work
  5. The More Facebook Friends You Have, The More Stressed You’ll Be

Why Your Partner May Be Lying

By Leave a Comment

Why Your Partner May Be Lying Honesty builds trust and intimacy. When one partner conceals information or has secrets, it erodes a trusting relationship.

One non-obvious reason people lie to their partners is that they don’t feel safe telling the truth. Their head goes into a defensive mode, thinking merely about the short-term benefits. They fear rejection or disapproval. If such are the consequences of telling the truth, they believe it’s expedient to sidestep it, especially if they expect they’re unlikely to be caught.

If you reckon your partner is lying, first seek to figure out the reason behind the lie. Reflect on the last time your partner lied to you. How would you have responded if they’d spoken the truth? Would you have reacted with anger—even yelling or starting a fight?

When your partner lies, focus first on the one aspect you have total control over: your reactions. Have a “trust chat” with your partner. With no suggestion of judgment or shaming them, reveal your concerns and talk to them about honesty, trust, and secrecy.

Nudge your partner to be more candid with you. Let your partner know you’d always prefer to know the truth, regardless of the situation. Then, when your partner speaks the truth, thank them for being forthright and telling you the truth, even when they know that the revelation may leave you disappointed or angry.

Idea for Impact: Negative reactions like criticism, contempt, sarcasm, or aggression can make your partner more likely to hide the truth, causing a relationship to embitter even further.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The High Cost of Winning a Small Argument
  2. How to Mediate in a Dispute
  3. A Short Course on: How to Find the Right Relationship
  4. Managerial Lessons from the Show Business: Summary of Leadership from the Director’s Chair
  5. We’re All Trying to Control Others

Inspirational Quotations #982

By

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
—George Burns (American Comedian)

There is nothing keeps longer than a middling fortune, and nothing melts away sooner than a great one. Poverty treads on the heels of great and unexpected riches.
—Jean de La Bruyere (French Author)

There are three marks of a superior man; being virtuous, he is free from anxiety; being wise, he is free from perplexity; being brave, he is free from fear.
—Confucius (Chinese Philosopher)

You are strong because you are imperfect. You are wise because you have doubts.
—Clementine Churchill (British Humanitarian)

Men, in general, seem to employ their reason to justify prejudices, which they have imbibed, they can scarcely trace how, rather than to root them out. The mind must be strong that resolutely forms its own principles; for a kind of intellectual cowardice prevails which makes many men shrink from the task, or only do it by halves.
—Mary Wollstonecraft (English Writer, Feminist)

Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and don’t interfere.
—Ronald Reagan (American Head of State)

Reductionism is a dirty word, and a kind of ‘holistier than thou’ self-righteousness has become fashionable.
—Richard Dawkins (British Ethologist, Atheist)

The highest result of education is tolerance. Long ago men fought and died for their faith; but it took ages to teach them the other kind of courage,—the courage to recognize the faiths of their brethren and their rights of conscience. Tolerance is the first principal of community; it is the spirit which conserves the best that all men think.
—Helen Keller (American Author)

Love thy neighbor as thyself because you are your neighbor. It is illusion that makes you think that your neighbor is someone other than yourself.
—Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan (Indian Philosopher, Political Leader)

Charity is really self-interest masquerading under the form of altruism.
—Anthony de Mello (Indian-born American Theologian)

It is our job to make women unhappy with what they have.
—B. Earl Puckett (American Businessperson)

How to … Make Work Less Boring

By Leave a Comment

How to ... Make Work Less Boring Time passes faster when you divide a big chunk into lots of smaller chunks. So, if you’re on an inescapably boring path, break it into units. And, for each dreaded task, ask yourself, “What’s the most fun way I could do this?” Work at a coffee shop? Listen to your favorite music? Reward yourself upon its completion?

As Mary Poppins pleaded, “In every task that must be done there is an element of fun. You find the fun and snap! The job’s a game.”

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Real Ways to Make New Habits Stick
  2. Five Ways … You Could Stop Procrastinating
  3. Do You Really Need More Willpower?
  4. Zeigarnik Effect: How Incomplete Tasks Trigger Stress [Mental Models]
  5. How to Turn Your Procrastination Time into Productive Time