Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Archives for October 2022

3 Ways to … Avoid Overthinking

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Overthinking and over-analyzing the causes and meaning of your thoughts can be tamed through greater self-awareness and mental disengagement.

  1. Set a time limit for your “thinking time,” then make yourself move on to something else or force your decision. Vent your worries to the world, but there’s a risk that you’ll end up even more confused if you keep asking everyone’s opinion. Most of the time, things aren’t as complicated as you perceive them.
  2. Pause and take a step back. Interrupt the thinking process or distract yourself by diverting your attention to something very different. Focused distraction can calm your mind and help you have a coherent view of the whole situation.
  3. Accept that uncertainty is part of this life, and you’ll never have all the facts or know what’s further down the road. Studies suggest we fear an unknown outcome more than a known bad one. Not everything you plan will work out, and that’s ok. It’s often better to set a clear course today and tackle problems that arise tomorrow.

Idea for Impact: Right-size your expectations. Overthinking comes from trying to control what you can’t control.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How To … Be More Confident in Your Choices
  2. Smart Folks are Most Susceptible to Overanalyzing and Overthinking
  3. Accidents Can Happen When You Least Expect Them: The Overconfidence Effect
  4. Situational Blindness, Fatal Consequences: Lessons from American Airlines 5342
  5. Presenting Facts Can Sometimes Backfire

Inspirational Quotations #967

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The spirit is smothered, as it were, by ignorance, but so soon as ignorance is destroyed, spirit shine forth, like the sun when released from clouds.
—Adi Shankaracharya (Indian Hindu Philosopher)

Those who are going to be in business tomorrow are those who understand that the future, as always, belongs to the brave.
—William Bernbach (American Advertising Executive)

The future of architecture does not lie so much in continuing to fill up the landscape as in bringing back life and order to our cities and towns.
—Gottfried Bohm (German Architect)

Stealing to eat ain’t criminal-stealing to be rich is.
—Andrew Vachss (American Attorney, Author)

Life is given to use, we earn it by giving it.
—Rabindranath Tagore (Bengali Poet, Polymath)

Among the instrumentalities of love and peace, surely there can be no sweeter, softer, more effective voice than that of gentle peace-breathing music.
—Elihu Burritt (American Pacifist)

The more you practice what you know, the more shall you know what to practice.
—William Jenkyn (English Clergyman)

How helpless we are, like netted birds, when we are caught by desire!
—Belva Plain (American Novelist)

Ninety percent of politics is deciding whom to blame.
—Meg Greenfield (American Journalist, Socialite)

Patriotism is a kind of religion; it is the egg from which wars are hatched.
—Guy de Maupassant (French Short-story Writer)

Ever notice that people never say “It’s only a game” when they’re winning?
—Ivern Ball (American Writer, Aphorist)

Smart is an elusive concept. There’s a certain sharpness, an ability to absorb new facts. To ask an insightful question. To relate to domains that may not seem connected at first. A certain creativity that allows people to be effective.
—Bill Gates (American Businessperson)

In every question and every remark tossed back and forth between lovers who have not played out the last fugue, there is one question and it is this: “Is there someone new?”
—Edna O’Brien (Irish Author)

No war is inevitable until it breaks out.
—A. J. P. Taylor (English Historian)

Life is to be lived, not controlled, and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat.
—Ralph Ellison (American Novelist)

How to… Reframe Negative Thoughts

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Modest self-doubt is normal when you’re analyzing your past or thinking about the future. But it’s easy to give in to negative chatter in your head and get lost in a mental house of mirrors. There’s no cognitive off switch for brooding, but a little internal coaching can help quiet this voice.

Start by recognizing negative thoughts and ask yourself—is this useful? Or is it not useful? Recognize that negative talk is unhelpful. Bring your focus back to self-compassion—let go of the judgments you hold about yourself, your body, and your moods.

Whenever your mind squawks, hone in and try to identify the exact emotion you’re experiencing. Ask yourself, “What’s at the core of what’s going on here?” Instead of using a broad label like “worry” or “stress,” drill down deeper into those feelings. Are you feeling vulnerable, or are you anxious about an outcome?

Reassess those pesky thoughts that play on a loop in your mind. Catch yourself embracing insistent expressions such as “always,” “never,” and “forever.” The more you attend to such notions about yourself, the more you believe in them, regardless of whether they’re true. Before you go into a negative spin, ask yourself if you really are failing at everything and if you’re always too busy to find time for your loved ones.

Idea for Impact: Rewrite Your Negative Self-Talk Script

If dwelling on critical moments is dragging you down, it’s time to take action. Rather than fault yourself for the swirl of thoughts, tell yourself you’re troubleshooting, planning, and preparing. Get on with the things you want to do. The momentum of positive emotions builds up as soon as you take action. If dwelling on critical moments is dragging you down, it’s time to take action

[Re-scripting your self-talk (“I can rehearse this presentation and ask a friend for feedback”) can help you prepare for any challenges and stop worrying about them incessantly.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How Thought-Stopping Can Help You Overcome Negative Thinking and Get Unstuck
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

You Shouldn’t Force Yourself to Be a Morning Person

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Since the dawn of time, the world has venerated early birds and propagated the notion that getting up with the lark makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise. The internet is full of references to the early-to-rise habits of Tim Cook, Michelle Obama, or some celebrity du jour. Those who struggle with mornings are slandered as slothful.

Even the wiser productivity gurus often fail to acknowledge that “4 a.m. is the most productive hour” not because of some configuration of the planets or some scientific phenomenon but simply because there are fewer distractions at that hour.

Night owls, no need to force yourself into a mold that doesn’t work for you. No need to completely adjust your life and feel weary and less productive throughout the day.

Overhauling your sleep times may not have much effect. Ultimately, productivity isn’t about the time you wake up. It’s accommodating your most challenging tasks when your brain is working at its peak.

Idea for Impact: All of us are born predisposed to function better at certain times of the day. The more you understand your chronotype and adapt your work around your naturally preferred times, the more productive you’ll be. Experiment with your sleep schedule, but don’t push too far out of your natural preference. Stick with what works.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to … Kickstart Your Day with Focus & Set a Daily Highlight to Stay on Track
  2. Don’t Do the Easiest Jobs First
  3. Zeigarnik Effect: How Incomplete Tasks Trigger Stress
  4. Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus
  5. Personal Energy: How to Manage It and Get More Done // Summary of ‘The Power of Full Engagement’

Inspirational Quotations #966

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Isn’t it amazing the way the future succeeds in creating an appropriate past?
—John Loengard (American Photographer)

The simplest things give me ideas.
—Joan Miro (Spanish Artist)

Learning and innovation go hand in hand. The arrogance of success is to think that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow.
—C. William Pollard (American Businessman, Author)

The opinions which we hold of one another, our relations with friends and kinfolk are in no sense permanent, save in appearance, but are as eternally fluid as the sea itself.
—Marcel Proust (French Novelist)

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
—Tom Wilson (American Cartoonist)

Nothing is too high for a man to reach, but he must climb with care and confidence.
—Hans Christian Andersen (Danish Author)

It is difficult to divest one’s self of vanity; because impossible to divest one’s self of self-love.
—Hugh Walpole (English Novelist)

Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-ight drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen.
—John le Carre (English Novelist)

The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it’s as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.
—Terry Pratchett (English Fantasy Writer)

It’s very important in life to know when to shut up. You should not be afraid of silence.
—Alex Trebek (American TV Personality)

Before you are five and twenty you must establish a character that will serve you all your life.
—Cuthbert Collingwood, 1st Baron Collingwood (English Naval Commander)

A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved. He inspires the power and energy to get it done.
—Ralph Lauren (American Businessman)

A sharp sense of the ironic can be the equivalent of the faith that moves mountains. Far more quickly than reason or logic, irony can penetrate rage and puncture self-pity.
—Moss Hart (American Playwright)

Beware the Opportunity Cost of Meditating

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Many people claim to derive substantial benefits from mediation. Experiencing the present moment can help exclude the torrent of diverse thoughts and mind-wandering.

But sometimes, meditation may not be the most prudent use of your time, especially if you’re stressed.

Disruptive thoughts emerge when you sit down to meditate. Not engaging in them can be challenging if you aren’t an experienced meditator.

Unloading your mind precludes thinking and, in turn, making progress on your issues and dilemmas. Meditation increases the sense of time starvation. After your meditation session, your troubles are still there, only that now you have lesser time to solve them. And losing time is even palpable if you attend a meditation retreat for days or weeks.

Idea for Impact: Meditation is not a substitute for action. Sometimes you could benefit more from spending that time on more active approaches to deal with whatever’s stressing them out. Try journaling, thinking through what needs to be done, withdrawing to a secluded corner for focused work, chatting with friends and colleagues, or seeking counseling. As with meditation, these actions allow you to step back from your life to take a meta-view of whatever you want. That can reduce your stress and improve your approach to problems.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. When Stress is Good
  2. A Hack to Resist Temptation: The 15-Minute Rule
  3. Real Ways to Make Habits Stick
  4. Stop Dieting, Start Savoring
  5. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box

Thought Suppression is Counterproductive

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You can’t make a bad thought go away by trying not to think about it.

Pushing away a thought works, but for a little while. Short-term relief is often worse than no relief, sometimes exacerbating the very emotions you’re hoping to veer off.

Most crutches of choice (drugs, alcohol, tobacco, barbiturates, shopping, or high-carbohydrate foods) offer transitory comfort. The immediate pleasure often gives way to long-term despair, which causes repeated use of the same agent. The consequence is addiction. The same is valid for thought suppression.

Studies have revealed that the more you suppress a thought, the stronger its recoil. For instance, smokers suppressing the thought of cigarettes report that the appeal of smoking comes rushing back with even greater power when they let their guard down. Holding back your thoughts will actually make you think about them more once the period of active suppression is over. In other words, suppressing a thought increases your attachment to it.

Persistence creates resistance; the more you try to push thoughts out, the bigger they get. Further, the fleeting relief of thought suppression pushes you away from more effective and lasting approaches, such as gratitude, acceptance, and forgiveness.

Idea for Impact: Suppress Your Thoughts about Suppression

In a world obsessed with positive thinking, many of us have been conditioned to be so averse to “negative emotions” that we don’t recognize them, much less acknowledge them, or give ourselves permission to feel and process them. Thought suppression causes more stress and anxiety than if you confront what you’re trying to forget.

  • Replace unwanted thoughts with thoughts that focus on your goals (e.g., “It feels better to eat a delicious fruit than it does to wolf down a s’more topped with melted chocolate.”)
  • Create an if-then to help you not block unwanted thoughts out but instead plan what you really need to do to act on temptations. Your plans can disrupt the connection between the thought and giving in to temptation. Over time, the thoughts will fade on their own.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Think Your Way Out of a Negative Thought
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself
  4. Seven Ways to Let Go of Regret
  5. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal

Inspirational Quotations #965

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Poetry is life distilled.
—Gwendolyn Brooks (American Poet, Educator)

When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.
—Henry J. Kaiser (American Industrialist)

Don’t abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.
—Elizabeth Taylor (American Actress)

You must take life the way it comes at you and make the best of it.
—Yann Martel (Canadian Novelist)

He travels best that knows when to return.
—Thomas Middleton (English Dramatist)

It’s essential to distinguish between events that are really beyond your control and events you caused yourself.
—Barbara Sher (American Career Coach)

Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them.
—Hugh Miller (Scottish Geologist, Writer)

The person who talks most of his own virtue is often the least virtuous.
—Jawaharlal Nehru (Indian Head of State)

Water is the one substance from which the earth can conceal nothing; it sucks out its innermost secrets and brings them to our very lips.
—Jean Giraudoux (French Novelist, Playwright)

Living in an age of extraordinary events and revolutions, I have learned, from thence this truth, which I desire might be communicated to posterity: that all is vanity which is not honest, and that there is no solid wisdom but in real piety.
—John Evelyn (English Restoration Diarist)

In a way, this diversity is very exciting, but one has at some point to ask: are these real beginnings, or so many false starts?
—Juliet Mitchell (British Feminist, Writer)

Open-mindedness should not be fostered because, as Scripture teaches, Truth is great and will prevail, nor because, as Milton suggests, Truth will always win in a free and open encounter. It should be fostered for its own sake.
—Richard Rorty (American Philosopher)

There is no Truth. There is only the truth within each moment.
—Ramana Maharshi (Indian Hindu Mystic)

The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.
—Nancy Mitford (English Novelist, Biographer)

Nothing that is really good and God-like dies.
—Ernst Moritz Arndt (German Writer)

The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.
—L. P. Hartley (British Writer, Critic)

One thing I never want to be accused of is not working.
—Don Shula (American Football Coach)