Stress

How Emotional Resilience Improves with Age

December 17, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Studies of social and emotional aging have consistently shown that we tend to enjoy a better sense of emotional well-being as we grow older—starting from our late 50s.

The brain slows down, and memory deteriorates with age, so we process information slower. We get better at regulating the instinct to enact annoyance and anger.

As we get older, we tend to have a positive bias. We stop sweating the small stuff, pick our battles wisely, and find it easier to let go of situations we experience as unfavorable, especially with friends and family.

The lessons these studies bear for us all: organize your life’s physical and social aspects to reduce unnecessary stressors. Happiness is indeed a result, not a cause.

You’ll Overeat If You Get Bigger Servings

October 18, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Small Plate Movement---You'll Overeat If You Get Bigger Servings

So many diets, so little evidence that they work. Many of the better plans boil down to basic strategies: eat lots of fruits and vegetables, stay active, and keep portions under control.

Most people have struggle with portion control

If you’re reading this article, you live in a society with too much food. Food production has become more industrialized and cheaper. Healthy food is not just more expensive than unhealthy food, but less convenient. Portion sizes have increased spectacularly in the past several decades—and that includes packaged foods in the grocery stores, meals served at restaurants, and plate sizes at home.

Dr. Brian Wansink, formerly director of the Food and Brand Lab at Cornell University and author of Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think (2001,) has shown that plate size prompts portion size. In study after study, he has found (some of his data analyses have been questioned) that the bigger the plate, the more you eat. This trend derives from an optical illusion—the same amount of food on a bigger plate seems smaller.

Whatever size of plate you choose, you’re likely to fill it. As a result, if you reduce your plates’ diameters from 12 inches to 10 inches, you’ll significantly reduce the amount of food you dish up. Besides, per Wansink, using a smaller plate gives the illusion that you’re getting more food. That’s a first step towards addressing your concerns about your health or waistline.

Visual aspects of a meal, such as portion size and plate sizes, can influence how much you eat

British food writer and food historian Bee Wilson’s brilliant First Bite: How We Learn to Eat (2015; my summary) states,

Being able to regulate the amount of food we eat according to our needs is perhaps the single most important skill when it comes to eating—and the one that we least often master. The first stage is learning to recognize whether the stomach is empty or not.

The first and most obvious step to weight loss is reducing the portion size—and thus the number of calories you eat. When you’re consuming fewer calories than the body uses, you’re likely to start losing weight.

Consider one of those “portion control plates” to help reset and reinforce in your mind what a portion size should be. Sectioned and color-coded, these plates take the guesswork out of getting nutrition from all food groups and reduce the risk of overeating.
Slow down when you eat, take time to chew and savor your food, and pause between mouthfuls. Stop when you are already full. You don’t need to eat every morsel of what’s dished out for you.
If you’re uncomfortable with not filling up your plate and risking disrespecting a host, say at a holiday party buffet, spread your portions around the plate and leave a bit of space around each food item. Your plate will look full but will have fewer calories.

Idea for Impact: Small plates help make portions look more substantial

If you’re trying to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight, keep the portions down. You certainly don’t need as much food as you think you do.

Get Everything Out of Your Head

September 9, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When there’s so much going on in your head, you’re constantly playing mental ping-pong. All those unfinished tasks can indeed affect your ability to be present with anything that you’re doing.

Sitting down to write out all the things that are weighing on your mind can boot out the clutter. Per the Zeigarnik Effect, interrupted tasks and unfinished thoughts tend to inundate you with a constant stream of reminders. Just the simple act of capturing a task can achieve a sense of completion for the moment.

Get It All Out Of Your Head - Reduce Stress Clear off your cluttered desk, pour some tea, put on some relaxing music, light a candle, mute the phone, and write down all the things you need to pay attention to. Work stuff, home stuff, kids stuff, paperwork, school stuff, friends stuff—all the stuff! Get it all out of your head.

Writing down everything that’s occupying your mind right now won’t solve your problems, but it makes them evident. This exercise makes it a lot easier to make good intuitive choices about where you should focus now and where it’s okay that you don’t focus now.

Idea for Impact: Stop what you’re doing right now and write down everything you have in your head. Not only will this exercise put in perspective all those things you need to keep track of, but also it’s a great way to reset your day.

The Dutch Practice of Doing Nothing: Niksen

July 26, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

The Dutch have this practice they call Niksen (from niks doen, literally “nothing-ing.”) It entails being intentional about doing absolutely nothing. Doing something without purpose. A sort of sanctioned daydreaming indeed.

Niksen is gazing out the window and letting your mind wander. Unlike mindfulness meditation, in Niksen, you’re not observing your thoughts. You aren’t focusing on your breath. Nor are you bringing awareness back to the present moment.

In Niksen, you’re just being. You’re taking a break. You’re practicing stillness. You’re staring vacantly at the horizon. You’re taking the time to sit or stand—just be wherever you are. And you don’t do anything on purpose. No effort whatsoever. When thoughts occur, you don’t interrogate them; you simply let them come and go as they please.

Niksen - Dutch Technique of Doing Nothing, Just Being

As a stress-busting technique, Niksen is increasingly popular. Doing nothing is turning your back on hyper-connectedness and the storm of stress, anxiety, and depression. Scientists have shown that letting your minds escape from the task at hand helps different parts of your brain activate. This allows you to access information that may have previously been dormant and inaccessible. This accounts for creativity and heralds insights into wisdom.

Idea for Impact: Try Niksen, even for a minute or two each hour. It’s a great way to give yourself a little bit of wiggle room in moments of tension and fretfulness. At a minimum, brief escapes can add color and intrigue to your life and open you out beyond the quotidian.

Entitlement and Anger Go Together

July 15, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Exaggerated entitlement could possibly explain what’s driving the recent surge of abusive or violent incidents on flights in America.

We live in a time where everyone seems hypervigilant to the point where even a slight snub can be taken as an act of deliberate aggression—either reactively or without provocation. People want to assert themselves, and every little social interaction seems to turn quickly into a battleground of entitlement.

Self-Protective Efforts Heighten Entitlement

To make things worse, air travel sits at the confluence of so many things involving so many people (and circumstances) where each “participant” has little direct control over what’s happening to them and others around. Political polarization and mask mandates seem to have intensified these anxieties too. Moreover, the FAA’s zero-tolerance policy toward disturbances and the threat of massive fines are unlikely to disincentivize passengers and staff in the heat of the moment.

When people feel entitled, they’re not just frustrated when others fail to acknowledge and entertain—even listen to—their presumed superior rights. People feel deceived and wronged. They feel victimized, get angry, and exude hostility. Worse, they feel even more justified in their demands and thus assume an even stronger sense of entitlement as compensation.

Idea for Impact: Entitlement and Responsibility are Inextricably Linked

Underlying this kind of anger process is a lack of separation of rights from responsibility. No professional, social, or domestic environment can remain stable and peaceful without everyone respecting the fact that rights and responsibilities are inseparable.

Nobody is entitled to compassion or fair treatment without acting on the responsibility to give it to others. If you don’t care about how others feel, you can’t demand that they care about how you feel. It’s a formula for disaster in human interactions.

Make Time To Do It

April 8, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The essence of time management is to prioritize Think about how these two declarations sound:

“Let me make time to do it.”
“Let me find time to do it.”

If you asked someone to do something, which response seems more convincing and persuasive?

When someone says they’ll make time to do something, you sense they’ll give the matter a feeling of priority. It implies that they’ll prioritize.

On the other hand, if someone says they’ll find time, it appears like they’ll hope to find a gap where they may fit you in—if they can remember what it is you asked them to do.

Often language—particularly self-talk—can have a way of revealing truths about values and priorities. The expression “I’ll make time” shows how the idea of time management only matters to how important the stuff is that’s competing for your time.

Idea for Impact: You know something is important when one makes time for it.

Think carefully about what you make time to do versus what you find time to do. The essence of time management is to prioritize.

Don’t Cheat. Just Eat.

December 12, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you’re someone who likes to “cheat” over the holidays and indulge in calorie-rich festive treats, why think of food as yet another serving of shame?

Being out of shape isn’t a failure of character.

Guilt around food is not just pointless—it actually can be harmful. Distress can sabotage digestion. Research suggests that anxiety kicks your autonomic nervous system into high gear. The capacities of your digestive organs are subdued, and instead of metabolizing and assimilating your food, it’s processed less effectively. In other words, guilt—or any sort of negative self-judgment—can initiate stress signals and neurotransmitters. These hinder a healthy digestive response.

Eat whatever it is you want mindfully and let it make you happy. Indulging is part of what sets a holiday apart. As the Roman dramatist Terence counseled, “Everything in moderation” (to which the Irish playwright Oscar Wilde added, “… including moderation.”)

Also, stop “food policing” others.

Idea for Impact: Give Your Guilt a Holiday

Eat, drink, and be merry this holiday season. Yes, slackening up on your diet plan doesn’t feel great, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, either. However, labeling it “cheating” probably is. Your language matters!

Do It Now // Summary of ‘The 5 Second Rule’ by Mel Robbins

November 23, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Mel Robbins’s The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage (2017) argues that much of what holds you back in life has roots in those few precious moments between when you have an idea and when your brain gets in the way of acting on that idea.

The 5-second rule is simple. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it. …. Hesitation is the kiss of death. You might hesitate for a just nanosecond, but that’s all it takes. That one small hesitation triggers a mental system that’s designed to stop you. And it happens in less than—you guessed it—five seconds.

Robbins asserts that you have five seconds to act on your ideas before you run the risk of subconsciously convincing yourself not to. Stay alert for those decisive moments. Each time, consider the benefits and liabilities of doing versus deferring.

When you internalize a do-it-now mindset, you’ll be dragging your feet less: “There’s one thing that is guaranteed to increase your feelings of control over your life: a bias toward action.”

There’s some wisdom here: don’t wait for motivation, high energy, or a sense of focus before taking action. Create motivation by taking action. Once initiated, action tends to gather momentum—tasks become increasingly easy to sustain.

Recommendation: Skip Mel Robbins’s The 5 Second Rule. You don’t need 240 pages of testimonials and cheery page-fillers on not thinking your way out of problems. Watch her TED talk instead.

Idea for Impact: When you catch yourself thinking you’ll do something later, take it as a nudge to do it now. Take action before procrastination sets in. Action motivates.

Make a Habit of Stepping Back from Work

November 10, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

“Busyness” often initiates as a lack of focus. Our culture has been seduced into thinking that we can achieve anything if we try harder and work longer.

Besides, good jobs are overwhelming. Many company cultures count on employees to compartmentalize their lives and prioritize work over all else. Managers expect that employees become what sociologists have identified as “ideal workers”: folks who are entirely dedicated to their jobs and are always on call, sometimes at great expense to their personal life. Such dedication is detrimental not just to employee wellbeing but also to the bottom line.

Make a Habit of Stepping Back from Work

Being productive requires acknowledging that you can’t work for extended periods and maintain a high-performance level.

Make a habit of stepping back. Taking your mind off work can help you overcome mental blocks. Being productive requires creative thinking more than perseverance.

You’re more likely to find breakthrough ideas when you temporarily remove yourself from the grind. The best solutions uncover themselves when you step into the shower, go for a run, have lunch away from your desk, or set off on holiday.

Up the Good Stuff. To feel less burned-out, do a little more of the things you love and a smidgen less drudge work.
Seek Breathing Room. That’s a metaphor for space to catch up with yourself, regroup, think over whatever’s happening, and know how you feel and what to do next.
Thwart Decision Fatigue. You have a limited capacity for concentrating over extended periods. You can restore your executive function and overcome mental fatigue through interventions—short rest, engaging in creative purists, and increasing the body’s glucose levels.

Idea for Impact: If you want to get more done, start taking breaks. Busyness is very different from effectiveness.

Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed

September 14, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Learn to Cope When You're Stressed Stress is a normal part of life. On the whole, there’re two major forms of negative stress (“distress”): the stress concerned with loss (divorce, death of a loved one, failure) and the stress involved with threats to your sense of self, status, wellbeing, or security.

The actual physical symptoms—including faster heartbeat, elevated blood pressure, quickened breathing, upset stomach, muscle tension, chest pain, and increased perspiration—may be identical, regardless of the external stress factor. However, stress does manifest itself differently with everyone. If untreated, stress also brings on or worsens more than a few other symptoms or diseases.

Stress doesn’t just get better on its own. Here’re four things to do to gain control of your life’s stress before it can start controlling you.

Proactively reduce stress-causing events. Reduce exposure to people, situations, and triggers that initiate unjustifiable stress. Create rituals that can help you cope. Learn to confront those situations in manageable amounts—schedule your day, simplify your schedule, get more organized, and learn to say no to added commitments. Cut back on your obligations.
Improve your resiliency. Maintain good health and stamina. Eat a healthy diet, get adequate sleep, and exercise regularly. Take regular breaks and schedule vacations where you can totally disconnect. Sometimes, just being idle—even wasting time—can help you not only feel good but also recharge your mind and body.
Manage your reaction to stressful events. Learn how to relax, such as deep-breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and massage. Schedule time for calming exercises such as yoga, tai chi, and music or art therapy. Engage in a relaxing hobby or offer to volunteer in your community.
Reach out. Stress feeds on feelings and fears that we keep to ourselves. Stress causes you to lose objectivity about your situation. Often just talking to a trusted friend or relative—even a counselor—could help you look at things from a distance and work out coping mechanisms.

Idea for Impact: Integrate daily stress prevention.

You may not control all your stressors, but you can control how you react to those stressors. If your current stress management efforts aren’t effective enough, try something new.

« Previous Page

Stress

Wondering what to read next?

Most people have struggle with portion control

Visual aspects of a meal, such as portion size and plate sizes, can influence how much you eat

Idea for Impact: Small plates help make portions look more substantial

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Self-Protective Efforts Heighten Entitlement

Idea for Impact: Entitlement and Responsibility are Inextricably Linked

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Idea for Impact: Give Your Guilt a Holiday

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Idea for Impact: Integrate daily stress prevention.

Wondering what to read next?