Negotiation

Ask For What You Want

February 22, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Ask and Receive: Unlocking Possibilities Through Asking for Help Don’t just sit around twiddling your thumbs, waiting for the good stuff to fall in your lap. Open your mouth, and you might just catch what you’re aiming for.

There’s no shame in reaching out for a hand. If it’s all above board, and there’s something to gain without risking much, why not give it a shot?

Fear’s gonna sneak up on you, but don’t let it hold you back. Sure, you might face a few ‘no’s or some pushback, but that’s just par for the course. It’s those rejections that pave the road to that one big ‘yes’ that could change the whole game.

Winners ask for what they want. Sure, they might face a heap of rejections, but they’re also the ones more likely to snag the big wins.

Idea for Impact: As long as your ask is ethical, ask for what you want. People who hesitate to ask usually settle for far less success than they could otherwise achieve.

Don’t settle for crumbs when you could be dining at the feast.

Unpaid Gigs for ‘Exposure’—Is It Ever Worth It?

February 21, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Unpaid Gigs for 'Exposure'---Is It Ever Worth It? As a freelancer, you’ll constantly receive requests to write blogs, help with videos, provide ‘expert’ advice, perform a show, or attend events—all without pay, but with promises of experience, prestige, or that ever-so-alluring “exposure.”

But should you say ‘yes’ to these unpaid gigs?

It’s utterly unfair for people to assume you’re desperate for attention just because you’re starting out. And it’s downright rude if these organizations have the budget to pay only some individuals while leaving you high and dry.

For many new freelancers, doing freebies feels like a rite of passage. But speak to the old-timers, and they’ll likely warn you that unpaid gigs often lead to more unpaid gigs with zero real payoff. Plus, those promising “exposure” might not even have much exposure themselves.

So, is it ever worth it to hustle for “exposure”? Maybe, but only if it’s for a cause, charity, or group you’re genuinely passionate about.

The Problem with Hiring Smart People

January 23, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Smart people are puzzled by initial resistance and slow uptake Hiring smart individuals indeed adds valuable intellectual capital to organizations, but it also brings about unique challenges. The struggle emerges as these individuals try to grasp why their brilliant ideas face initial resistance and why others don’t catch on as quickly.

Smart individuals become frustrated when dealing with skeptics among their colleagues, having to invest precious time in aligning the team without coming off as bossy—especially when collaborating with peers over whom they lack direct authority. The aggravation intensifies as they would prefer to generate more genius ideas than get caught up in the challenge of convincing others about concepts that seem like a no-brainer to them.

Idea for Impact: Smart folks, don’t overlook relationship-building skills; intelligence isn’t everything for your goals.

Why Good Founding Stories Sell: Stories That Appeal, Stories That Relate

October 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It’s the most famous “founding” story ever told. Isaac Newton often told it himself. William Stukeley first published it. Voltaire popularized it.

In 1666, Newton was strolling in a garden in Lincolnshire when he saw an apple drop from a tree. The fruit fell straight to the earth as if tugged by an invisible force. (Subsequent versions of this story had the apple striking Newton on the head.)

That mundane observation seemingly led Newton to conceive the notion of universal gravitation, which explained everything from the falling apple to the moon’s orbit. Whether it was true or not, the apple episode probably motivated Newton. But, indeed, he did not arrive at his theory of gravity at that single moment, as is commonly believed.

Most Origin Stories Make a Good Yarn

Fast-forward three and a half centuries, from England to California. Today, the “Eureka Moment” narrative is a Silicon Valley staple.

Most founding stories would rather you believe that brilliant entrepreneurs came about the outstanding idea for their startups in an almost Moses-like manner. In reality, though, that’s not the real story of how some of our iconic companies began.

When eBay launched, it gained loads of fanfare by proclaiming that Pierre Omidyar and his fiancée built the “Auction Web” to buy and collect Pez candy dispensers on the nascent internet. According to Adam Cohen’s The Perfect Store: Inside eBay (2002,) eBay’s public relations manager Mary Lou Song fabricated that founding story in 1997 to interest the media.

Netflix supposedly stemmed when co-founder Reed Hastings racked up a $40 fine with a Blockbuster store for his overdue copy of the movie Apolo 13. Netflix co-founder Marc Randolph’s That Will Never Work: The Birth of Netflix and the Amazing Life of an Idea (2019) debunks that origin myth. Although Hastings’s $40 fine inspired the process, it wasn’t the single “spark of imagination” that cooked up Netflix.

YouTube supposedly began when founders Chad Hurley and Steve Chen could not share videos of a 2005 dinner party in Chen’s San Francisco apartment. Everybody accepted the story until it was refuted by the third co-founder, Jawed Karim (who had been sidelined by Hurley and Chen.) Karim produced a prototype of YouTube inspired by HOTorNOT, a dating site that nudged users to upload photos and others to rate the looks of potential companions. Karim was particularly inspired by the concept of user-generated content versus website owners supplying the content. He set out to make a version of HOTorNOT with video. Chen later admitted that he embellished the dinner party story, which was “probably very strengthened by marketing ideas around creating a story that was very digestible.”

Facebook, first called FaceMash, was also inspired by HOTorNOT. Mark Zuckerberg and his dorm buddies created a website to post pairs of pictures from Harvard’s student community, asking users to rate the “hotter” individual.

Many Good Founding Stories are Just That—They’re Good Stories.

No company is ever founded in a single moment. Ideas evolve after assimilation and experimentation over several months, even years. It’s less interesting to say that things just develop, one idea building upon another. You won’t get as much publicity for rendering a normal-but-boring founding story.

If these mythic creation stories prove anything, it’s that people prefer a good story. People like a storyteller who’s more articulate than one who is accurate. Good stories move. Good stories lead audiences on a journey of the imagination.

Telling a Good Story is a Rehearsed Performance

Human beings are not transformed as much by statistics and facts as we are by stories. In All Marketers are Liars—The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-trust World (2005,) marketing guru Seth Godin says successful marketers don’t discuss features or benefits. They tell stories. Stories that readers want to read. And believe.

If humans were rational, we’d make judgments based on facts and statistics. But we’re not rational; we’re more convinced to act on stories, especially with emotional content. So the ability to tell a story well is a beneficial tool to add to your toolkit.

Idea for Impact: Those who can create and tell entertaining and exciting stories will have a marked advantage over others regarding persuasion. Learn to tell clear, commanding stories that make a good metaphor. Stories that appeal to emotion. Stories that relate. Stories that hold people’s attention. Stories that travel fast.

Think Before You Commit: Say ‘Yes’ Slowly

August 25, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When presented with a request, avoid hastily agreeing and later regretting it. Instead, use this simple hack to prevent impulsive commitments: slow the conversation by posing questions.

Seek clarification regarding the specifics, time frame, and whether others have been approached. If you can only manage a portion of the task, inquire where your involvement would be most beneficial.

These questions allow you to gather more information and organize your thoughts. They will compel you to reconsider before biting off more than you can chew.

Undoing a default ‘yes’ is considerably more challenging than refraining from giving one initially. Revoking your commitment may result in even greater disappointment for the other person.

Idea for Impact: It’s tempting to say ‘yes’ to every demand imposed upon us by others. However, it is essential to reserve your ‘yes’for the right things. Respond with a deliberate and thoughtful ‘yes.’ Remember, every ‘no’ signifies a ‘yes’to something significant.

How to … Strengthen The ‘Asking Muscle’

August 23, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Many people are afraid to ask—even negotiate—for what they want. Just because you ask for something doesn’t mean you’ll get it, but you must keep trying. In the same way that your body’s muscles need regular exercise to stay strong and flexible, the voices in your head do too. The more you practice asking (rehearse with a friend if needed,) the more comfortable it becomes.

Idea for Impact: Don’t wait for good things, as you may have been taught. Ask for what you want. With each triumph, you’ll gain confidence; with each disappointment, you’ll learn something. You’ll overcome the dread of asking for too much. You’ll conquer the fear of rejection or reprisal. Besides, you’ll be less deprived of what you’re reasonably entitled to.

Managerial Lessons from the Show Business: Summary of Leadership from the Director’s Chair

March 13, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Notes on Directing: 130 Lessons in Leadership from the Director’s Chair (2008) explores the parallels between directing the stage and managing projects. The shared themes include ad hoc teams, one-off goals, tight time frames, limited budgets, nebulous chains of command, shared objectives, etc.

Compiled by writer Russell Reich from the notes of British stage director Frank Hauser, this tome contains 130 meditations on casting actors, rehearsing, stage-setting, supervising the production units, and handling critics.

Organized temporally from a director’s initial encounter with the play’s script to its final production, this slim volume is so much more—it’s not just for stage directors.

#7: “Learn to love a play you don’t particularly like. You may be asked—or may choose—to direct a play that, for any number of reasons, you don’t think is very good. In such cases it is better to focus and build on the play’s virtues than attempt to repair its inherent problems.” Idea for Impact: Focus on virtues and strengths, not weaknesses. Spend more of their time reinforcing the good performers than dealing with untrainable performers—i.e., you can never remediate grievous weaknesses. Position the person somewhere else where her talents are a better match.
#33: “Every scene is a chase scene. Character A wants something from Character B who doesn’t want to give it.” Idea for Impact: Productive relationships with balance and joy call for continuous concession and managing one another’s expectations. Work hard to ensure that all sides feel contented with a negotiated compromise.
#73: “Know your actors. Some like a lot of attention; others want to be left alone. Some like written notes; some spoken. Get to know them. It doesn’t have to take long. It’s a good investment that will pay enormous benefits later.” Idea for Impact: Embrace individualized management. No two employees are alike—their temperaments, qualifications, experiences, and backgrounds shape them into thoroughly unique people who’re persuaded, challenged, and inspired in different ways. So why treat them all the same way?

Recommendation: Read Notes on Directing. It’s a worthwhile meditation in managing people, projects, and yourself. Anyone who must get things done through people will find insightful meditations on getting to the core of the narrative, handling people with diplomacy and nuance, and navigating conflict.

Confirm Key Decisions in Writing

March 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

All human dealings are subject to intended and (largely) unintended misunderstandings and misinterpretations. In fact, when an agreement is distasteful, it’s easy to misunderstand.

Confirm oral agreements, instructions, and understandings in writing at the first chance you get. Don’t rely on just memory.

After meetings, email all the participants recording what was discussed. That way, if there’s ever a debate about what was discussed in the meeting, there is a written record to review. Do this even for phone calls if what was discussed is important. A helpful template:

I am confirming the agreement we reached at our meeting this afternoon. We decided on the following provisions: A, B, and C. Let me know as soon as possible if this information is not accurate so we can finalize this part of our negotiations. Call me to discuss any necessary changes if this doesn’t reflect your understanding.

Idea for Impact: “If it wasn’t written down, it wasn’t said.” Documenting critical decisions—your interpretation of it at least—helps avoid future fracas. If you don’t receive a written protest or correction, your account of the meeting stands accepted.

Why Your Partner May Be Lying

January 30, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Honesty builds trust and intimacy. When one partner conceals information or has secrets, it erodes a trusting relationship.

One non-obvious reason people lie to their partners is that they don’t feel safe telling the truth. Their head goes into a defensive mode, thinking merely about the short-term benefits. They fear rejection or disapproval. If such are the consequences of telling the truth, they believe it’s expedient to sidestep it, especially if they expect they’re unlikely to be caught.

If you reckon your partner is lying, first seek to figure out the reason behind the lie. Reflect on the last time your partner lied to you. How would you have responded if they’d spoken the truth? Would you have reacted with anger—even yelling or starting a fight?

When your partner lies, focus first on the one aspect you have total control over: your reactions. Have a “trust chat” with your partner. With no suggestion of judgment or shaming them, reveal your concerns and talk to them about honesty, trust, and secrecy.

Nudge your partner to be more candid with you. Let your partner know you’d always prefer to know the truth, regardless of the situation. Then, when your partner speaks the truth, thank them for being forthright and telling you the truth, even when they know that the revelation may leave you disappointed or angry.

Idea for Impact: Negative reactions like criticism, contempt, sarcasm, or aggression can make your partner more likely to hide the truth, causing a relationship to embitter even further.

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Negotiation

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Most Origin Stories Make a Good Yarn

Many Good Founding Stories are Just That—They’re Good Stories.

Telling a Good Story is a Rehearsed Performance

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