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Negotiation

How to … Deal with Less Intelligent People

June 10, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to ... Deal with Less Intelligent People Dealing with those whose smarts don’t match yours can quickly grate on your nerves.

When you feel that frustration bubbling up because someone isn’t quite on the same page intellectually, try stepping into their shoes with a bit of empathy.

Not everyone’s as sharp as you, and that’s okay. Picture it like they’re working with a bit of a handicap—they may not have had the same opportunities in life as you. This mindset helps you respond with kindness, not anger or snark.

Put yourself in their position: imagine you’re in Sicily, trying out a beginner’s cooking class with zero kitchen skills. Even with your smarts, you’re struggling with basics like chopping veggies and frying herbs in olive oil. It’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? You’d want your expert teacher to be understanding and cut you some slack as you learn the ropes.

Always consider the self-esteem of individuals who may not be as intellectually sharp as you when engaging with them. Nobody enjoys feeling unintelligent, especially when it’s implied or expressed by you.

If someone messes up or says something silly, offer reassurance with a casual “Hey, we all goof up sometimes. No worries!” If you have a better idea, gently suggest, “I’m not sure if this will work, but what do you think about trying something else?”

Remember what Dale Carnegie said in his classic How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936): making people feel good about themselves keeps things positive. And you’ll leave your interaction with a sense of satisfaction knowing that you’ve handled the situation with compassion and integrity.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Living the Good Life, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Conflict, Getting Along, Likeability, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Relationships, Social Skills, Wisdom

Honest Commitments: Saying ‘No’ is Kindness

April 25, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Kindness in Honesty: Saying 'No' with Integrity Saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no,’ even ‘maybe,’ is lying (Note: lying is a specific action; it requires the intent to deceive the other person.)

If you’re uncertain, you can say, “Yeah, maybe; I’ll let you know in a few days.” As opposed to “yes, I can do that” when you don’t know if that’s true.

If you’re inclined to say ‘yes’for conflict avoidance (say, when you think the other person can’t take a ‘no’ well,) you could get better at being assertive.

Sure, there’s the chance that you originally intended to follow through, but things have shifted and you may need to uncommit gracefully. But don’t make a habit of saying ‘yes’ when there’s no decent chance you can keep your commitment; it’s a burden on other people’s energy, time, and space.

Saying ‘no’—clearly and firmly when you know you can’t keep the commitment—is kindness.

Idea for Impact: Don’t say ‘yes’unless you mean ‘yes.’ Say ‘no’ when you don’t want to consent. It’s a kind thing to do. Most people appreciate sincerity and prefer others to mean what they say.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Communication, Conflict, Conversations, Ethics, Likeability, Negotiation, Persuasion

Master the Middle: Where Success Sets Sail

April 4, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Master the Middle: Where Success Sets Sail The “long-term” horizon is typically characterized by vagueness, uncertainty, and encompassing a broad scope. Crafting precise plans or actions tailored to this distant future becomes challenging without specific timeframes in sight. Consequently, solely prioritizing the long term can lead to decision-making processes that lack clarity and direction.

On the other hand, the “short-term” horizon often prompts a reactive stance, where immediate needs, opportunities, or challenges take precedence without thorough consideration of long-term consequences. Prioritizing instant solutions or immediate gains may sacrifice overarching strategic objectives.

Achieving effective execution hinges on striking a balance between short-term responsiveness and long-term planning. This is where the “middle-term” horizon plays a crucial role.

Idea for Impact: Those who achieve greatness excel at navigating the middle-term horizon, leveraging it as a strategic stepping-stone toward long-term objectives while remaining adaptable to short-term challenges and opportunities.

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Filed Under: Leadership, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Decision-Making, Discipline, Goals, Mental Models, Negotiation, Performance Management, Persuasion, Targets

The Likeability Factor: Whose “Do Not Pair” List Includes You?

March 21, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Southwest Airlines Employs Southwest Airlines employs an “Avoidance Bid System,” similar to the “Do Not Pair” systems found at other airlines. This system allows first officers to select up to three captains they prefer not to fly with when scheduling their monthly rosters. The process is straightforward; it involves entering the captain’s employee number without the need to provide a reason for the preference.

If Southwest’s crew scheduling system pairs a first officer with one of their “avoided” captains, the first officer will be reassigned to a different trip. Notably, captains do not have the same privilege to designate first officers they prefer not to fly with.

The Avoidance Bid System gained significant attention after the Southwest Airlines Flight 345 incident in July 2013. This incident involved a Boeing 737-700 aircraft experiencing a nose gear collapse during a hard landing at New York’s LaGuardia Airport. Despite receiving warnings from the first officer to abort the landing, the captain ignored the alerts. Subsequent investigations uncovered that the captain had received numerous grievances from many first officers she had flown with before; in fact, she was on many first officers’ “Do Not Pair” lists.

In professions such as aviation, which depend heavily on standardization and routine procedures, the impact of workplace likability is intriguing to ponder. When management overlooks individuals who struggle to collaborate and adhere to standard procedures, it poses a considerable risk to safe operations. Errant behavior, particularly from those in positions of power, can disrupt team dynamics, sow tension among colleagues, and weaken the efficacy of established protocols.

Idea for Impact: Ever stop and think if your coworkers would slap your name on their “Do Not Pair” list if our company had a system like that? Maybe your skills, experience, or even just your attitude could land you there. Likability is the glue that fortifies professional relationships and unlocks pathways to opportunities.

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Filed Under: Career Development, Leading Teams, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Aviation, Conflict, Conflicts, Getting Along, Leadership Lessons, Likeability, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Personality, Persuasion, Relationships

Spot the Green Flags: They Fuel Relationships

March 19, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Spot the Green Flags: They Fuel Relationships It’s important to keep an eye out for red flags in budding relationships to avoid potential pitfalls—it’s like avoiding potholes on the road. You gotta spot ’em early to keep things smooth sailing.

But don’t get so caught up in red flag hunting that you miss the good signs—they show your relationship is on the right track and has the potential for growth.

Just like red flags, green flags can sometimes be subtle and not immediately obvious. It often takes connecting the dots and seeing the bigger picture to spot them. These signs are the ones that enhance your quality of life, boost your self-esteem, and bring you closer together.

Idea for Impact: Start flagging the good stuff—they indicate a strong foundation for a fulfilling connection.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conflict, Emotions, Getting Along, Likeability, Negotiation, Relationships, Social Skills

Ask For What You Want

February 22, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Ask and Receive: Unlocking Possibilities Through Asking for Help Don’t just sit around twiddling your thumbs, waiting for the good stuff to fall in your lap. Open your mouth, and you might just catch what you’re aiming for.

There’s no shame in reaching out for a hand. If it’s all above board, and there’s something to gain without risking much, why not give it a shot?

Fear’s gonna sneak up on you, but don’t let it hold you back. Sure, you might face a few ‘no’s or some pushback, but that’s just par for the course. It’s those rejections that pave the road to that one big ‘yes’ that could change the whole game.

Winners ask for what they want. Sure, they might face a heap of rejections, but they’re also the ones more likely to snag the big wins.

Idea for Impact: As long as your ask is ethical, ask for what you want. People who hesitate to ask usually settle for far less success than they could otherwise achieve.

Don’t settle for crumbs when you could be dining at the feast.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Confidence, Fear, Negotiation, Personal Growth, Persuasion, Procrastination, Risk

Unpaid Gigs for ‘Exposure’—Is It Ever Worth It?

February 21, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Unpaid Gigs for 'Exposure'---Is It Ever Worth It? As a freelancer, you’ll constantly receive requests to write blogs, help with videos, provide ‘expert’ advice, perform a show, or attend events—all without pay, but with promises of experience, prestige, or that ever-so-alluring “exposure.”

But should you say ‘yes’ to these unpaid gigs?

It’s utterly unfair for people to assume you’re desperate for attention just because you’re starting out. And it’s downright rude if these organizations have the budget to pay only some individuals while leaving you high and dry.

For many new freelancers, doing freebies feels like a rite of passage. But speak to the old-timers, and they’ll likely warn you that unpaid gigs often lead to more unpaid gigs with zero real payoff. Plus, those promising “exposure” might not even have much exposure themselves.

So, is it ever worth it to hustle for “exposure”? Maybe, but only if it’s for a cause, charity, or group you’re genuinely passionate about.

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Filed Under: Career Development, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Career Planning, Entrepreneurs, Innovation, Marketing, Negotiation, Persuasion

The Problem with Hiring Smart People

January 23, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Smart people are puzzled by initial resistance and slow uptake Hiring smart individuals indeed adds valuable intellectual capital to organizations, but it also brings about unique challenges. The struggle emerges as these individuals try to grasp why their brilliant ideas face initial resistance and why others don’t catch on as quickly.

Smart individuals become frustrated when dealing with skeptics among their colleagues, having to invest precious time in aligning the team without coming off as bossy—especially when collaborating with peers over whom they lack direct authority. The aggravation intensifies as they would prefer to generate more genius ideas than get caught up in the challenge of convincing others about concepts that seem like a no-brainer to them.

Idea for Impact: Smart folks, don’t overlook relationship-building skills; intelligence isn’t everything for your goals.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Communication, Conflict, Getting Along, Hiring & Firing, Negotiation, Persuasion

What to Say When Words Escape You

November 25, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

What to Say When Words Escape You When faced with a tough question or unexpected situation that leaves you speechless, your best approach is to buy time. This prevents hasty, regrettable responses.

Respond with curiosity using open-ended questions like “Tell me more,” or “What are you hoping to achieve right now?” Neutral statements like “Let me get back to you” can maintain diplomacy and gain thinking space.

If all else fails, honesty works: say, “I’m not sure how to respond.”

Idea for Impact: In a world of quick, snappy answers, taking a moment to think before you speak is often wiser, especially in high-stakes situations.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conflict, Conversations, Etiquette, Negotiation, Social Skills

Why Good Founding Stories Sell: Stories That Appeal, Stories That Relate

October 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It’s the most famous “founding” story ever told. Isaac Newton often told it himself. William Stukeley first published it. Voltaire popularized it.

In 1666, Newton was strolling in a garden in Lincolnshire when he saw an apple drop from a tree. The fruit fell straight to the earth as if tugged by an invisible force. (Subsequent versions of this story had the apple striking Newton on the head.)

That mundane observation seemingly led Newton to conceive the notion of universal gravitation, which explained everything from the falling apple to the moon’s orbit. Whether it was true or not, the apple episode probably motivated Newton. But, indeed, he did not arrive at his theory of gravity at that single moment, as is commonly believed.

Most Origin Stories Make a Good Yarn

Fast-forward three and a half centuries, from England to California. Today, the “Eureka Moment” narrative is a Silicon Valley staple.

Most founding stories would rather you believe that brilliant entrepreneurs came about the outstanding idea for their startups in an almost Moses-like manner. In reality, though, that’s not the real story of how some of our iconic companies began.

When eBay launched, it gained loads of fanfare by proclaiming that Pierre Omidyar and his fiancée built the “Auction Web” to buy and collect Pez candy dispensers on the nascent internet. According to Adam Cohen’s The Perfect Store: Inside eBay (2002,) eBay’s public relations manager Mary Lou Song fabricated that founding story in 1997 to interest the media.

Netflix supposedly stemmed when co-founder Reed Hastings racked up a $40 fine with a Blockbuster store for his overdue copy of the movie Apolo 13. Netflix co-founder Marc Randolph’s That Will Never Work: The Birth of Netflix and the Amazing Life of an Idea (2019) debunks that origin myth. Although Hastings’s $40 fine inspired the process, it wasn’t the single “spark of imagination” that cooked up Netflix.

YouTube supposedly began when founders Chad Hurley and Steve Chen could not share videos of a 2005 dinner party in Chen’s San Francisco apartment. Everybody accepted the story until it was refuted by the third co-founder, Jawed Karim (who had been sidelined by Hurley and Chen.) Karim produced a prototype of YouTube inspired by HOTorNOT, a dating site that nudged users to upload photos and others to rate the looks of potential companions. Karim was particularly inspired by the concept of user-generated content versus website owners supplying the content. He set out to make a version of HOTorNOT with video. Chen later admitted that he embellished the dinner party story, which was “probably very strengthened by marketing ideas around creating a story that was very digestible.”

Facebook, first called FaceMash, was also inspired by HOTorNOT. Mark Zuckerberg and his dorm buddies created a website to post pairs of pictures from Harvard’s student community, asking users to rate the “hotter” individual.

Many Good Founding Stories are Just That—They’re Good Stories.

No company is ever founded in a single moment. Ideas evolve after assimilation and experimentation over several months, even years. It’s less interesting to say that things just develop, one idea building upon another. You won’t get as much publicity for rendering a normal-but-boring founding story.

If these mythic creation stories prove anything, it’s that people prefer a good story. People like a storyteller who’s more articulate than one who is accurate. Good stories move. Good stories lead audiences on a journey of the imagination.

Telling a Good Story is a Rehearsed Performance

Human beings are not transformed as much by statistics and facts as we are by stories. In All Marketers are Liars—The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-trust World (2005,) marketing guru Seth Godin says successful marketers don’t discuss features or benefits. They tell stories. Stories that readers want to read. And believe.

If humans were rational, we’d make judgments based on facts and statistics. But we’re not rational; we’re more convinced to act on stories, especially with emotional content. So the ability to tell a story well is a beneficial tool to add to your toolkit.

Idea for Impact: Those who can create and tell entertaining and exciting stories will have a marked advantage over others regarding persuasion. Learn to tell clear, commanding stories that make a good metaphor. Stories that appeal to emotion. Stories that relate. Stories that hold people’s attention. Stories that travel fast.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Communication, Entrepreneurs, Likeability, Negotiation, Persuasion, Presentations, Psychology

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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