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Mindfulness

“Fly the Aircraft First”

December 29, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Today is the 50th anniversary of the Flight 401 disaster. I’ve previously cited how the crew of the ill-fated Eastern Airlines Lockheed L-1011 got so single-mindedly preoccupied with tackling a nose landing gear indicator light malfunction that they didn’t pay attention to the fact that their airliner was descending gradually into the Florida Everglades.

In summary, the pilots were too distracted to fly the aircraft. Human factors, specifically cognitive impairments, can precipitate distractions away from vital tasks.

The incident led to a breakthrough called Crew Resource Management (CRM.) This “human nature innovation” actively orients pilots to prioritize tasks in order of operational safety. The adage “Aviate, Navigate, and Communicate (A-N-C)” reinforces the ‘fly the aircraft first’behaviors until they’re internalized and become routine.

The top priority—always—is to aviate. That means fly the airplane by using the flight controls and flight instruments to direct the airplane’s attitude, airspeed, and altitude. Rounding out those top priorities are figuring out where you are and where you’re going (Navigate,) and, as appropriate, talking to ATC or someone outside the airplane (Communicate.) However, it doesn’t matter if we’re navigating and communicating perfectly if we lose control of the aircraft and crash. A-N-C seems simple to follow, but it’s easy to forget when you get busy or distracted in the cockpit.

Idea for Impact: “Fly the aircraft first.” Know when to set aside the seemingly important things to accomplish the more vital ones.

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Filed Under: Business Stories, Effective Communication, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Aviation, Biases, Conflict, Decision-Making, Mindfulness, Problem Solving, Stress, Worry

Joy is the Happiness That Lasts

December 22, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Early this year, we lost Thích Nhất Hạnh, the much-venerated Vietnamese monk who popularized mindfulness in the West. In one of his early teachings, The Miracle of Mindfulness (1975,) Nhất Hạnh gave simple instructions on how to reset your notions of happiness:

Our notions of happiness entrap us. We forget that they are just ideas. Our idea of happiness can prevent us from actually being happy. We fail to see the opportunity for joy that is right in front of us when we are caught in a belief that happiness should take a particular form.

There’re many things in your life that you aren’t happy about now, and you want to see them changed. Isn’t that always going to be so?

Don’t let the inclination to put off happiness until later draw you away from the positives in your life now.

Idea for Impact: Learn to find joy in tiny triumphs. Joy is the happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens. Joy is the happiness that can be steady. Joy is the happiness that lasts. And that’s what you really want.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance, Happiness, Mindfulness, Simple Living

Lilies and Leeches

November 14, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Lilies and Leeches: Surround Yourself with Those Who Elevate You You may have heard of the notion of lilies and leeches. The lilies are the people—and situations—that bring out the best in you. The leeches just grind you down.

Learn to say ‘no’ to relationships or situations that don’t work for you. Life’s too short to waste time on anything that can suck your happiness and energy. Avoid those emotional leeches, productivity leeches, and financial leeches.

Idea for Impact: A little-cited key to a rewarding life: choose to surround yourself with those who elevate you. With those who are caring, supportive, and nonjudgmental, and who make you feel loved, appreciated, and respected.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Managing People Tagged With: Balance, Conflict, Discipline, Getting Along, Happiness, Materialism, Mindfulness, Parables, Relationships, Simple Living

Are You Ill-Prepared for Being Wrong?

October 31, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

We spend so much of our lives being right that, I wonder if, we’re ill-prepared for being wrong.

Since childhood, we’ve been inured that being right is more acceptable than being wrong. Being wrong feels so unpleasant—repulsive even—that we instill a series of strategies to salvage ourselves when we are exposed as being wrong. We learn to trip from our forked tongues explanations, justifications, excuses, and blames for our errors and oversights.

What’s worse, we develop a deep-seated impulse to shirk responsibility and accountability for our actions. We become loath to change our beliefs or behaviors because change takes effort. We envisage change as a challenge to our identity. In the words of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, “People who are right a lot listen a lot, and they change their mind a lot. They wake up and re-analyze things and change their mind. If you don’t change your mind frequently, you’re going to be wrong a lot. People who are right a lot want to disconfirm their fundamental biases.”

Idea for Impact: What’s lost in all this is that being wrong is not only a central feature of being human. It’s one of the most potent ways of learning. Admitting we were wrong—and conceding we’ll be wrong again—can be so liberating and welcoming.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Confidence, Critical Thinking, Decision-Making, Mindfulness, Wisdom

3 Ways to … Eat Healthy

October 19, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Mindful eating for wellbeing isn’t just about what foods to eat but also about establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship with food.

  1. Slow down and really be present while you eat. Mindful eating is best achieved when your focus is on the meal. Put your phone or book elsewhere and just focus on your food’s taste, smell, texture, and look. You’ll enjoy the food so much more when you savor it. Wolfing down your food leads to overeating because your brain doesn’t realize it’s had enough to eat.
  2. Honor your hunger and fullness—relearn what it feels like when you’re hungry and full. Don’t overeat or eat the wrong things because your environment triggers your appetite. Change your environment, so it works for you rather than against you.
  3. Use smaller plates. The larger the portion size, the more you’ll eat. Aim to eat healthy most of the time and allow some wiggle room. There’re no ‘bad’ foods, and identifying foods as ‘off-limits’ only makes you want them more. Practice portion control if you step off your diet for a special occasion.

Idea for Impact: Building wellness begins with really paying attention. Change behavior with simple nudges.

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3 Ways to … Get Wiser

October 18, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Wisdom is generally about discernment—the ability to embrace a quieter state of mind and make judicious choices based on experience.

  1. Be open to new points of view and constantly reassess your understanding. Dispute everything you assume you ‘know for sure’ and reconsider every question you think you’ve resolved. In the words of Bertrand Russell, ‘fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.’ Aim to understand—not judge—the nuances of an issue by seeing the world not as black and white but in shades of gray.
  2. Choose who you spend time with—they’ll shape your future more than anything else. To broaden your horizons, engage with people other than those from your own background—you’ll never challenge your own opinions if you don’t open yourself up to people who have a different attitude than yours.
  3. Act wisely. Be honest with yourself—and with others. When confronted with life’s challenges, appeal to your wisest self and act as wisely as possible, focusing on purpose over pleasure and balancing self-interest and the common good.

Idea for Impact: Wisdom begets wisdom.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Attitudes, Conflict, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Stress, Wisdom

How to… Reframe Negative Thoughts

October 13, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Modest self-doubt is normal when you’re analyzing your past or thinking about the future. But it’s easy to give in to negative chatter in your head and get lost in a mental house of mirrors. There’s no cognitive off switch for brooding, but a little internal coaching can help quiet this voice.

Start by recognizing negative thoughts and ask yourself—is this useful? Or is it not useful? Recognize that negative talk is unhelpful. Bring your focus back to self-compassion—let go of the judgments you hold about yourself, your body, and your moods.

Whenever your mind squawks, hone in and try to identify the exact emotion you’re experiencing. Ask yourself, “What’s at the core of what’s going on here?” Instead of using a broad label like “worry” or “stress,” drill down deeper into those feelings. Are you feeling vulnerable, or are you anxious about an outcome?

Reassess those pesky thoughts that play on a loop in your mind. Catch yourself embracing insistent expressions such as “always,” “never,” and “forever.” The more you attend to such notions about yourself, the more you believe in them, regardless of whether they’re true. Before you go into a negative spin, ask yourself if you really are failing at everything and if you’re always too busy to find time for your loved ones.

Idea for Impact: Rewrite Your Negative Self-Talk Script

If dwelling on critical moments is dragging you down, it’s time to take action. Rather than fault yourself for the swirl of thoughts, tell yourself you’re troubleshooting, planning, and preparing. Get on with the things you want to do. The momentum of positive emotions builds up as soon as you take action. If dwelling on critical moments is dragging you down, it’s time to take action

[Re-scripting your self-talk (“I can rehearse this presentation and ask a friend for feedback”) can help you prepare for any challenges and stop worrying about them incessantly.

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Adversity, Anxiety, Emotions, Mindfulness, Resilience, Suffering, Worry

Beware the Opportunity Cost of Meditating

October 6, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Many people claim to derive substantial benefits from mediation. Experiencing the present moment can help exclude the torrent of diverse thoughts and mind-wandering.

But sometimes, meditation may not be the most prudent use of your time, especially if you’re stressed.

Disruptive thoughts emerge when you sit down to meditate. Not engaging in them can be challenging if you aren’t an experienced meditator.

Unloading your mind precludes thinking and, in turn, making progress on your issues and dilemmas. Meditation increases the sense of time starvation. After your meditation session, your troubles are still there, only that now you have lesser time to solve them. And losing time is even palpable if you attend a meditation retreat for days or weeks.

Idea for Impact: Meditation is not a substitute for action. Sometimes you could benefit more from spending that time on more active approaches to deal with whatever’s stressing them out. Try journaling, thinking through what needs to be done, withdrawing to a secluded corner for focused work, chatting with friends and colleagues, or seeking counseling. As with meditation, these actions allow you to step back from your life to take a meta-view of whatever you want. That can reduce your stress and improve your approach to problems.

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Discipline, Goals, Introspection, Mindfulness, Procrastination, Stress, Worry

Thought Suppression is Counterproductive

October 3, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

You can’t make a bad thought go away by trying not to think about it.

Pushing away a thought works, but for a little while. Short-term relief is often worse than no relief, sometimes exacerbating the very emotions you’re hoping to veer off.

Most crutches of choice (drugs, alcohol, tobacco, barbiturates, shopping, or high-carbohydrate foods) offer transitory comfort. The immediate pleasure often gives way to long-term despair, which causes repeated use of the same agent. The consequence is addiction. The same is valid for thought suppression.

Studies have revealed that the more you suppress a thought, the stronger its recoil. For instance, smokers suppressing the thought of cigarettes report that the appeal of smoking comes rushing back with even greater power when they let their guard down. Holding back your thoughts will actually make you think about them more once the period of active suppression is over. In other words, suppressing a thought increases your attachment to it.

Persistence creates resistance; the more you try to push thoughts out, the bigger they get. Further, the fleeting relief of thought suppression pushes you away from more effective and lasting approaches, such as gratitude, acceptance, and forgiveness.

Idea for Impact: Suppress Your Thoughts about Suppression

In a world obsessed with positive thinking, many of us have been conditioned to be so averse to “negative emotions” that we don’t recognize them, much less acknowledge them, or give ourselves permission to feel and process them. Thought suppression causes more stress and anxiety than if you confront what you’re trying to forget.

  • Replace unwanted thoughts with thoughts that focus on your goals (e.g., “It feels better to eat a delicious fruit than it does to wolf down a s’more topped with melted chocolate.”)
  • Create an if-then to help you not block unwanted thoughts out but instead plan what you really need to do to act on temptations. Your plans can disrupt the connection between the thought and giving in to temptation. Over time, the thoughts will fade on their own.

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Resilience, Suffering, Worry

Hooked on Feeling Needed?

September 23, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If, like many people, you just can’t say ‘no,’ consider if you’re hooked on feeling needed.

Take a hard, long look at yourself and examine if you unwittingly encourage—even need—people to come to you for every little thing.

Do you find affirmation in feeling needed? Do you try to do too much for others? Faced with an unpleasant task, do you look to turn our attention elsewhere? Do others’ interruptions offer reasons to do what you needn’t do and excuses to avoid doing what you’re supposed to do?

Idea for Impact: The greatest gift you can give those who need you is carving out time for your own critical tasks so you can be available when they really need you.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Balance, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Procrastination, Relationships

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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