Meaning

A Taxonomy of Troubles: Summary of Tiffany Watt Smith’s ‘The Book of Human Emotions’

October 1, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Some books aren’t designed to be read front to back. Tiffany Watt Smith’s The Book of Human Emotions (2016) is a perfect example. It’s a compendium, a literary grab bag where readers can open to any page and uncover a curious nugget about the strange terrain of human feeling. Whether it launches a dinner-table debate or sends you into a cultural rabbit hole, its charm lies in its delightfully unsystematic approach.

Smith, a cultural historian focusing on the history of emotion, offers a colorful tour of the emotional spectrum. Some entries are instantly relatable; others are wonderfully obscure. The format is encyclopedic, ranging from single-sentence definitions to multi-page explorations. There’s basorexia, the sudden urge to kiss, and iktsuarpok, the anxious anticipation of someone’s arrival. Smith notes in the introduction that the modern idea of “emotions” didn’t appear until the 1830s. Before then, feelings were blamed on faulty souls or imbalanced bodily fluids like bile or phlegm.

The book is more than just a glossary; it’s threaded with sharp cultural insights—when a language has a specific word for a concept, it often indicates that this concept is culturally important, frequently discussed, or central to how people interact and understand their world. Smith touches on the aggressively enforced cheeriness of American customer service, a strange mandate for mandatory happiness that somehow leaves everyone slightly gloomier. She also highlights curiosities like awumbuk (from Papua New Guinea,) the oddly specific feeling of emptiness after guests leave, and the Dutch concept of gezelligheid, capturing the warmth of shared companionship.

Recommendation: Leaf through The Book of Human Emotions. Though the concept occasionally feels stretched, perhaps suggesting the author discovered that emotions alone might not justify an entire book, it remains engaging throughout. Smith writes with clarity and wit, avoiding the heaviness of academic prose. This is the kind of book that earns its place on the coffee table. It’s best enjoyed in fragments, one curious entry at a time, gently reminding us how language and culture shape what we feel and how we understand each other.

The Champion Who Hated His Craft: Andre Agassi’s Raw Confession in ‘Open’

August 27, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When you first dive into Andre Agassi’s outstanding memoir, Open: An Autobiography (2010,) you’re hit with a shocking revelation right on the first page: “I play tennis for a living, even though I hate tennis, hate it with a dark and secret passion, and always have.”

This bewildering confession comes from one of the greatest tennis players of all time, a man who has racked up numerous accolades, including eight Grand Slam titles. The persona of a dedicated tennis champion pursuing his dreams turns out to be a facade.

Behind the Glory: Playing Through Pain

Agassi’s candid reflections highlight the internal conflicts and emotional challenges that often accompany the pursuit of success. His experience was overwhelming; he never truly had a choice in playing tennis, as his father forced him into it at a young age. What followed felt like a glorified prison camp, where the only way out was to succeed—something he did spectacularly, landing him on the world stage. Yet, by the time Agassi came to this realization, he felt trapped, believing there was nothing else he could pursue.

In Open, Agassi relives the feelings of powerlessness that fueled his detest for the very sport that had given him so much. When a job becomes all-consuming, it’s easy to develop a loathing for it. Being the best means everything revolves around performance, and the pressure to stay at the top is relentless. Failure is unacceptable, and the burden of tennis looms over every decision. Burnout becomes inevitable.

The Reluctant Legend - Andre Agassi Had a Complex Relationship with Tennis Agassi casts himself as a victim of his circumstances, expressing a weariness with the grind—a sentiment many can relate to. While few may hate their jobs as intensely as Agassi did, many struggle with the meaning of their work, questioning its eternal significance and fearing they are merely wasting time.

The Dark Side of Success

For years, Agassi believed real life was just around the corner, delayed by obstacles, unfinished business, and unsettled debts. Eventually, he realized those very obstacles were his life. Life isn’t something that happens to you; it’s something you shape with your choices and actions. You are the director of your own existence. Emotions like anger, jealousy, and fear aren’t just reactions, they’re nurtured. As long as you view yourself as a victim, success will remain out of reach.

Ultimately, there’s no point in toiling through the grind if you don’t enjoy the journey. Embrace the call that stirs your soul. In retirement, Agassi discovered new passions, particularly in education reform. He founded the Andre Agassi Foundation for Education, dedicated to improving opportunities for at-risk children. In his personal life, he met and married German tennis star Steffi Graf, who provided unwavering support, helping him navigate his post-tennis identity. Together, they embraced new ventures, illustrating Agassi’s resilience and his ability to make meaningful contributions beyond the tennis court.

Two Questions for a More Intentional Life

July 14, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Two Questions for a More Intentional Life There’s a familiar drift to human existence: most people stumble through life—nudged by inertia, lulled by routine, reacting rather than shaping. Life doesn’t unfold by conscious design but passive momentum.

Without direction, this becomes a circular walk around the obvious. The uncomfortable discovery—often too late—is that the journey was never a grand voyage, just an unexamined loop through what’s already known and safe.

Intentional living begins with clarity: of purpose, values, and direction. And clarity doesn’t arrive quietly. It’s not granted by idle reflection, but summoned by honest self-inquiry.

Two deceptively simple questions—profound in implication—serve as instruments of that clarity. These aren’t gentle affirmations. They’re sharp tools, meant not to soothe but to awaken.

1. How Do I Wish to Be Remembered?

The most powerful way to shape your life is to imagine its end. This isn’t vanity—it’s vision. What legacy will you leave? What stories should be told? If your life were a book, what would be its central theme?

This demands a reckoning with the impact you want to make—on your family, your community, maybe the world. It’s a litmus test of genuine contribution.

This isn’t about rigid life plans. It’s about orienting actions toward a destination that’s worthy of the journey. It forces clarity—of intent, values, and meaning.

2. Am I Spending My Life on What Gives It Meaning?

This question demands ruthless honesty—not about stated values, but about what your life actually reveals. Where do your time, energy, skills, and money go? Do these reflect your priorities—or betray quiet allegiance to comfort, distraction, or approval?

To answer is to perform intellectual triage—cutting the trivial from the vital, the meaningful from the performative. It calls for a dispassionate audit of commitments and a confrontation with the gap between ideals and actions.

More piercing still: What’s the point of living a life steeped in self-deception, compared to the legacy you claim to seek?

This question offers grounding—especially in upheaval. Returning to your core values can restore clarity and resilience. These values are your anchors—the fixed points by which to navigate shifting tides.

Meaning is the Profounder Object of Human Life

These aren’t therapeutic bromides. They are scalpels of self-inquiry, designed not for comfort but clarity. The honest answers may be inconvenient—even embarrassing. But the dignity of recalibration far outweighs drifting in the vast, indifferent sea of the unexamined.

Idea for Impact: Intentional living isn’t a destination—it’s a discipline. It requires ongoing reflection, courageous self-assessment, and the willingness to course-correct. These two questions—How do I wish to be remembered? and Am I Living What Matters?”—aren’t one-time prompts. They are lifelong companions.

In choosing this path, you give yourself a rare gift: a life not endured, but examined, shaped, and deeply felt.

You Are Not Special

August 31, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

You Are Not Special---David McCullough Jr.'s Commencement Speech from Wellesley High School David McCullough Jr., son of historian David McCullough, gained fame in 2012 with a viral commencement speech. As an English teacher at Wellesley High School, he told graduates they were “not special,” challenging the overused “everyone is special” mantra seen in schools and sports. His speech (YouTube) offered a refreshing dose of reality and a grounded perspective.

If everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone receives a trophy, trophies become meaningless. … We’ve come to value accolades more than genuine achievement. We’ve come to see them as the point and are willing to compromise standards or ignore reality if we believe it’s the quickest or only way to have something to display on the mantlepiece. … Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilling life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things. Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air, and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.

Universality dilutes uniqueness, making ‘special’ lose its meaning as a marker of rare or exceptional qualities that deserve recognition.

Idea for Impact: A life well-lived comes from having a purpose beyond self-aggrandizement.

Friendships Aren’t Always Built to Last Forever

February 15, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

A bitter truth of life is the fleeting nature of friendships, even those imbued with profound love and mutual regard.

Despite the tender ties forged and the tapestry of memories woven together, some bonds unravel, leaving behind a poignant yearning for what once thrived and the haunting echoes of what might have been.

Sustaining relationships demands a reciprocal commitment and diligent nurturing, as British writer Virginia Woolf eloquently observed in The Waves (1931,) “I have lost friends, some by death—others through sheer inability to cross the street.”

Friendships often follow a natural life cycle. Initially drawn together by the threads of circumstance—work, family, community, or shared passions—a journey unfolds, revealing deeper truths about our essence and desires.

In this unfolding, the connections that once nourished our souls may no longer suffice, and we find ourselves outgrowing the companionships that once defined us.

Some partings come with the gentle acceptance of mutual growth, while others leave behind the lingering ache of unresolved farewells.

Idea for Impact: That many friendships don’t withstand the trials of time is often a hard lesson to learn at any age. A poignant reminder of life’s impermanence.

The Dance of Time, The Art of Presence

November 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Within life’s rich tapestry, we often find ourselves caught between two elusive realms—the past and the future. As the celebrated German Buddhist nun Ayya Khema eloquently reminds us in her thought-provoking invitation to embark on a journey of mindfulness, Being Nobody, Going Nowhere: Meditations on the Buddhist Path (1987,) our path is a quest for the present moment.

One of our human absurdities is the fact that we’re constantly thinking about either the future or the past. Those who are young think of the future because they’ve got more of it. Those who are older think more about the past because, for them, there is more of it. But in order to experience life, we have to live each moment. Life has not been happening in the past. That’s memory. Life is not going to happen in the future. That’s planning. The only time we can live is now, this moment, and absurd as it may seem, we’ve got to learn that. As human beings with life spans of sixty, seventy, or eighty years, we have to learn to actually experience living in the present. When we have learned that, we will have eliminated a great many of our problems.

Life is a fleeting current, and it manifests not in the echoes of yesteryears, nor in the dreams of morrows yet to come.

The essence of life, the only fragment of existence we can lay claim to, resides in this very moment—the now.

Let’s embrace this moment fully. Let’s resolve to breathe, to cherish, and to be truly present, for each moment is a precious gem, unique and irreplaceable, for once it slips into the past, it becomes but a memory.

Live each moment.

Book Summary of Erich Fromm’s ‘The Art of Loving’

June 21, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Erich Fromm‘s The Art of Loving (1956) is a philosophical and psychological exploration of the nature of love. It begins by questioning whether love is an art that requires knowledge and effort or merely a pleasant sensation that one “falls into” if lucky. Fromm argued that most people believe the latter, while he subscribed to the former. As an art, love necessitates practice and a certain degree of maturity to succeed at it.

Fromm posits that people misunderstand love for several reasons. First, they tend to focus not on loving but on being loved—striving to improve their desirability by becoming more affluent, famous, or attractive instead of learning to love. Second, they think of love as finding an object to love rather than a faculty to cultivate. They believe that loving is simple, but finding someone to love is challenging, whereas, in reality, the opposite is true. Lastly, Fromm points out that people often confuse “falling” with “standing” in love, which involves care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.

The initial rush of emotions when two previously isolated people suddenly discover each other may be exciting, but these feelings are fleeting. True love involves “standing” in love, a skill that takes years of hard work to develop, just like any other art or skill. Fromm argues that love is not something we stumble upon but must actively learn and cultivate over time.

In the end, Fromm emphasizes that despite the difficulties in learning and practicing love, it is a most valuable pursuit, surpassing material possessions like money, fame, or power. The mystery of existence can only be uncovered through our relationships with nature, purpose and meaning (through fruitful work,) and, most crucially, with other people. Hence, to fully experience the richness of life, it is necessary to cultivate the art of loving in all its forms.

Read The Art of Loving. It’ll deepen your appreciation for the complexities of love and human connections.

Quantity is the Path to Quality

July 30, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Happiness is not how much time you spend doing what you love, but how little time you spend doing what you hate.

As in Charlie Munger’s recipe for success: “It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.” And “I know I’ll perform better if I run my nose in my own stupid mistakes.”

Idea for Impact: The road less stupid can keep you from silly errors, if not all errors.

Buddhism is Really a Study of the Self

March 26, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When you study Buddhism, you study yourself. You figure out the nature of your mind.

You focus not on some dogmatic view—the Buddha made no claims to being a prophet, and Buddhism owes its origin to no divine revelation. Instead, Buddhism emphasizes more practical matters, such as how to lead your life and how to integrate your mind.

The Buddhist path isn’t about being a proper Buddhist or comprehending the Buddhist creed. It isn’t something to believe in; it’s something to do. It’s about understanding who you are and how you can fully realize your potential—not as a Buddhist but as a human being.

Idea for Impact: “Who am I?” is a pivotal question of Buddhism. The Buddhist path encourages you to awaken to liberation.

Each Temperament Has Its Own Language

November 18, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

From Dr. Irmgard Schlögl’s The Wisdom of the Zen Masters (1976) (she was later Ven. Myokyo-ni, Rinzai Zen Buddhist nun at the Zen Centre in London):

An elder Zen monk on his pilgrimage put up in a monastery. He came across another monk who was also on the pilgrimage. The two discovered that they had much in common, and decided next morning to continue together.

They came to a river where the ferryboat had just left. The elder took a seat to wait for its return. His new friend continued however, walking over the water.

Halfway across, he turned around and beckoned the elder to follow, “You can do it, too. Just have confidence and tread on.” The elder shook his head and stayed put.

“If you are scared, I’ll help you across. You see I can do it without much trouble.” Yet again, the elder shook his head.

The other reached the other bank of the river. He waited there until the ferry had brought the elder over. “Why did you hang back like that?” he asked.

“And what have you gained by rushing like that?” replied the elder.

“Had I known what you were like, I would not have taken up company with you.”

Wishing him farewell, the elder resumed his pilgrimage on his own.

Temperament clashes exist to some extent in almost all relationships. The language of camaraderie that two people share so effortlessly at some moments can unravel at others.

Sometimes each person believes they are deliberately communicating their needs and values, when indeed little gets through because each is working from different core assumptions and expectations—conveying and interpreting language, gestures, and intent differently, or seeking a different set of signals.

Idea for Impact: Each temperament has its own language.

Each of us has our own expectations of relating in an interpersonal relationship. When there are problems, don’t always attempt to “fix” them or back off and distance yourself. Simply give the other more space to be who they are. Seek to understand.

Meaning

Wondering what to read next?

Behind the Glory: Playing Through Pain

The Dark Side of Success

Wondering what to read next?

1. How Do I Wish to Be Remembered?

2. Am I Spending My Life on What Gives It Meaning?

Meaning is the Profounder Object of Human Life

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Idea for Impact: Each temperament has its own language.

Wondering what to read next?