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You Are Not Special

August 31, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

You Are Not Special---David McCullough Jr.'s Commencement Speech from Wellesley High School David McCullough Jr., son of historian David McCullough, gained fame in 2012 with a viral commencement speech. As an English teacher at Wellesley High School, he told graduates they were “not special,” challenging the overused “everyone is special” mantra seen in schools and sports. His speech (YouTube) offered a refreshing dose of reality and a grounded perspective.

If everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone receives a trophy, trophies become meaningless. … We’ve come to value accolades more than genuine achievement. We’ve come to see them as the point and are willing to compromise standards or ignore reality if we believe it’s the quickest or only way to have something to display on the mantlepiece. … Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilling life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things. Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air, and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.

Universality dilutes uniqueness, making ‘special’ lose its meaning as a marker of rare or exceptional qualities that deserve recognition.

Idea for Impact: A life well-lived comes from having a purpose beyond self-aggrandizement.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Buddhism is Really a Study of the Self
  2. What Is the Point of Life, If Only to Be Forgotten?
  3. What Do You Want to Be Remembered for?
  4. Confucius on Dealing with People
  5. Lessons on Self-Acceptance from Lee Kuan Yew: Life is What You Make of it

Filed Under: Living the Good Life Tagged With: Attitudes, Life Plan, Meaning, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Virtues

Big Wins are Rare

April 19, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Big Wins are Rare: Small, Consistent Steps Are Your Secret Weapon Most people look for big wins. Most people want rapid progress. Most people aim to knock it out of the park. This is a common trap that folks fall into.

Sure, these big wins happen, but rarely. Big wins are elusive. And big wins aren’t the only path to achievement.

Big wins often stem from the accumulation of numerous smaller wins. In sports, only a few athletes stand as champions after relentless training and countless setbacks. Entertainers strive for acclaim, yet only a select few experience the euphoria of widespread recognition. Entrepreneurs face fierce competition, economic challenges, and unforeseen obstacles in their quest for success. Academic breakthroughs are scarce, demanding years of research and experimentation.

Idea for Impact: Work on the small things, which most people don’t want to do. Embrace the grind, cheer for small wins, and keep at it. Every step counts toward hitting it big.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Small Steps, Big Revolutions: The Kaizen Way // Summary of Robert Maurer’s ‘One Small Step Can Change Your Life’
  2. Innovation: Be as Eager to Stop Zombie Projects as You Are to Begin the New
  3. Defect Seeding: Strengthen Systems, Boost Confidence
  4. Restless Dissatisfaction = Purposeful Innovation
  5. Starbucks’ Oily Brew: Lessons on Innovation Missing the Mark

Filed Under: Mental Models, The Great Innovators Tagged With: Change Management, Decision-Making, Discipline, Innovation, Life Plan, Persuasion, Problem Solving

The Dance of Time, The Art of Presence

November 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'Being Nobody, Going Nowhere' by Ayya Khema (ISBN 086171198X) Within life’s rich tapestry, we often find ourselves caught between two elusive realms—the past and the future. As the celebrated German Buddhist nun Ayya Khema eloquently reminds us in her thought-provoking invitation to embark on a journey of mindfulness, Being Nobody, Going Nowhere: Meditations on the Buddhist Path (1987,) our path is a quest for the present moment.

One of our human absurdities is the fact that we’re constantly thinking about either the future or the past. Those who are young think of the future because they’ve got more of it. Those who are older think more about the past because, for them, there is more of it. But in order to experience life, we have to live each moment. Life has not been happening in the past. That’s memory. Life is not going to happen in the future. That’s planning. The only time we can live is now, this moment, and absurd as it may seem, we’ve got to learn that. As human beings with life spans of sixty, seventy, or eighty years, we have to learn to actually experience living in the present. When we have learned that, we will have eliminated a great many of our problems.

Life is a fleeting current, and it manifests not in the echoes of yesteryears, nor in the dreams of morrows yet to come.

The essence of life, the only fragment of existence we can lay claim to, resides in this very moment—the now.

Let’s embrace this moment fully. Let’s resolve to breathe, to cherish, and to be truly present, for each moment is a precious gem, unique and irreplaceable, for once it slips into the past, it becomes but a memory.

Live each moment.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Is the Point of Life, If Only to Be Forgotten?
  2. Buddhism is Really a Study of the Self
  3. I’ll Be Happy When …
  4. Anger Is Often Pointless
  5. Temper Your Expectations, Avoid Disappointments in Life

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance, Buddhism, Discipline, Emotions, Life Plan, Meaning, Mindfulness, Philosophy

The #1 Warning Sign That You’re Burning Out at Work

July 21, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Burnout doesn’t happen just because you work too much. Instead, it’s investing emotionally and not getting an adequate emotional return on your investment.

The primary indicator that burnout is looming is when your patience wears thin. You’ll find yourself feeling cynical and irritable most of the time, resulting in frequent arguments or constant outbursts towards your loved ones, including colleagues and superiors.

Idea for Impact: If you feel depleted or exhausted, pace yourself and set clear boundaries. Think strategically not only about the work you enjoy but also about the life you want to lead.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Truth About Work-Life Balance
  2. Great Jobs are Overwhelming, and Not Everybody Wants Them
  3. How to Leave Work at Work
  4. Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed
  5. A Quick Way to De-stress: The “Four Corners Breathing” Exercise

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance, Life Plan, Stress, Time Management, Work-Life

Buddhism is Really a Study of the Self

March 26, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When you study Buddhism, you study yourself. You figure out the nature of your mind.

You focus not on some dogmatic view—the Buddha made no claims to being a prophet, and Buddhism owes its origin to no divine revelation. Instead, Buddhism emphasizes more practical matters, such as how to lead your life and how to integrate your mind.

The Buddhist path isn’t about being a proper Buddhist or comprehending the Buddhist creed. It isn’t something to believe in; it’s something to do. It’s about understanding who you are and how you can fully realize your potential—not as a Buddhist but as a human being.

Idea for Impact: “Who am I?” is a pivotal question of Buddhism. The Buddhist path encourages you to awaken to liberation.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Do You Want to Be Remembered for?
  2. What Is the Point of Life, If Only to Be Forgotten?
  3. Three Lessons from Clayton Christensen’s ‘How Will You Measure Your Life?’
  4. The Dance of Time, The Art of Presence
  5. You Are Not Special

Filed Under: Living the Good Life Tagged With: Buddhism, Legacy, Life Plan, Life Purpose, Meaning, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Virtues

To be More Productive, Try Doing Less

January 27, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The top performers in every field tend to have one thing in common: they accept fewer tasks and obsess over getting them right.

If you’re struggling with time- and task-management, the solution is not to try to be even more productive by somehow “finding” time to do more things.

Time management advice tends to want you to believe that you aren’t doing enough with all that “extra time” you can unearth by squeezing out more from your time. You don’t need to commoditize every minute of your life and devote it to productive work.

You can’t—and shouldn’t—do it all

More time is not the answer to your time management problems.

You can’t manage time. You cannot control time. What you can control are your actions. You can control how you spend your time on what activities. You are in complete control of what you do and when you do it.

Jog through your list of things to do. For each task, ask,

  • Why is this task necessary?
  • What would happen a month from now if it isn’t done?
  • What would happen if this never gets done
  • Who wants this task done, and who is the right person to do it?
  • Do fewer things that create more value, rather than more things that are mostly empty.

Effective time management is about knowing what’s essential and what’s not. Don’t get disproportionately involved with small things while monumental things are to be done.

Idea for Impact: No point in doing something that doesn’t need doing.

The best way to get lots of things done is to not do them at all.

To get more done, you need to do less. Trying to do it all doesn’t work. In other words, do only those things that really matter. Focus on those activities that drive the most significant results.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg McKeown’s ‘Essentialism’
  2. Personal Energy: How to Manage It and Get More Done // Summary of ‘The Power of Full Engagement’
  3. Did School Turn You Into a Procrastinator?
  4. First Things First
  5. How to … Incorporate Exercise into Your Daily Life

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Discipline, Getting Things Done, Goals, Life Plan, Time Management

Change Must Come from Within

July 21, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you want to become the type of person who wants to change, you must become the type of person who embodies that change repeatedly. You must deliberately weave the change into your sense of identity. Seth Godin notes in The Practice (2020,)

If you want to get in shape, it’s not difficult. Spend an hour a day running or at the gym. Do that for six months or a year. Done.

That’s not the difficult part.

The difficult part is becoming the kind of person who goes to the gym every day.

When you use your actions to drive your identity, you’ll naturally become confident in your ability to make fundamental decisions that sustain—and enhance—who you are.

Idea for Impact: Habits stick when they respond to your sense of identity. Change your identity, change how you want to be seen, and you’ll change your life.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Small Steps, Big Revolutions: The Kaizen Way // Summary of Robert Maurer’s ‘One Small Step Can Change Your Life’
  2. Real Ways to Make Habits Stick
  3. Don’t Try to ‘Make Up’ for a Missed Workout, Here’s Why
  4. Do You Really Need More Willpower?
  5. Use This Trick to Make Daily Habits Stick This Year

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Change Management, Coaching, Discipline, Life Plan, Motivation, Procrastination

Three Lessons from Clayton Christensen’s ‘How Will You Measure Your Life?’

March 22, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Each term, on the last day of his management class, Harvard strategy professor Clayton M. Christensen had the habit of asking his students to apply the principles of management business to their personal lives.

'How Will You Measure Your Life' by Clayton M. Christensen (ISBN 0062102419) “Don’t reserve your best business thinking for your career,” he would push them to ask the difficult questions and pursue purpose and meaning in their careers and their personal lives.

Toward the end of his life, after suffering a stroke and contracting cancer, Christensen published a Harvard Business Review article, which he expanded as How Will You Measure Your Life (2012.) This New York Times bestseller struck a chord with many business leaders, especially in favor of Christensen’s reflections on pursuing fulfillment.

Lesson #1: Don’t over-invest in work or under-invest in relationships.

Christensen talks about various motivators at work and encourages you to think about how you want to be remembered. He argues that ultimately your most significant sources of joy in life will be your family and your close friends. Devote time to these relationships, and they’ll enrich your life:

The relationships you have with family and close friends are going to be the most important sources of happiness in your life. But you have to be careful. When it seems like everything at home is going well, you will be lulled into believing that you can put your investments in these relationships on the back burner. That would be an enormous mistake. By the time serious problems arise in those relationships, it often is too late to repair them.

Lesson #2: Don’t lose track of the essential things. Allocate resources appropriately.

Christensen recalls some of his business school classmates entered the school with a noble cause—many of them wanted to change the world. But when they graduated with student debt, they took jobs for money to pay off their debts. And that was just going to be a temporary thing. But, over time, they got caught up in their careers, making money and chasing possessions. Their original pursuit of the noble cause petered out and, along the way, they lost track of what was important in their lives.

Christensen encourages building and implementing strategies in your career and your personal life to achieve your goals. The underlying tenet of that success is how you allocate your time, money, and other resources. How you spend these resources will determine your life’s outcomes.

How you allocate your resources is where the rubber meets the road. Real strategy—in companies and in our lives—is created through hundreds of everyday decisions about where we spend our resources. As you’re living your life from day to day, how do you make sure you’re heading in the right direction? Watch where your resources flow. If they’re not supporting the strategy you’ve decided upon, then you’re not implementing that strategy at all.

Lesson #3: “Decide what you stand for. And then stand for it all the time.”

Three lessons from Clayton Christensen's 'How Will You Measure Your Life?' Christensen tells a story from his college days when he played university basketball. His team worked hard all season and made it to the finals of some big tournament. The championship game was scheduled on a Sunday. For Christensen, a deeply religious Mormon, playing on the Sabbath (the “seventh day”) was against his religious beliefs.

Christensen did not comply with the coach’s demand to break the Sabbath statute “just this one time” for the big game. Christensen did not want to violate his religious principles. His team won the tournament anyway.

Because life is just one unending stream of extenuating circumstances. Had I crossed the line that one time, I would have done it over and over and over in the years that followed. … Many of us have convinced ourselves that we are able to break our own personal rules “just this once.” In our minds, we can justify these small choices. None of those things, when they first happen, feels like a life-changing decision. The marginal costs are almost always low. However, each of those decisions can roll up into a much bigger picture, turning you into the kind of person you never wanted to be. If you give in to “just this once,” based on a marginal-cost analysis, you’ll regret where you end up. It’s easier to hold to your principles 100 percent of the time than it is to hold to them 98 percent of the time.

Idea for Impact: Intentionally choose the kind of person you want to become. Commit to that path.

Read Clayton M. Christensen’s How Will You Measure Your Life (2012.) It’s not a long book—perhaps overly worded in parts—but it’s a intense and thought-provoking book.

Christensen and his co-authors don’t provide answers. Instead they present guiding principles that make you put things in perspective and help you become intentional about building a contented life. The parallels between running a successful business and running life are worthwhile.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Buddhism is Really a Study of the Self
  2. What Do You Want to Be Remembered for?
  3. The Dance of Time, The Art of Presence
  4. You Are Not Special
  5. What Is the Point of Life, If Only to Be Forgotten?

Filed Under: Living the Good Life Tagged With: Legacy, Life Plan, Life Purpose, Meaning, Philosophy, Questioning

The Truth About Work-Life Balance

September 17, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment


Bill Gates still doesn’t believe in taking breaks

This recent Bill Gates interview got a great deal of attention for what he considers his biggest regret—not working harder, and taking his eyes off the ball and allowing Google to develop Android, now the dominant phone operating system, which, according to Gates, “was a natural thing for Microsoft to win.”

Asked about work-life balance and if Gates’s opinions had changed from a past statement that he did not believe in holidays, Gates replied with a no. He reiterated that working without a vacation is one of the sacrifices a company has to make in its early years.

The vacation-free approach in Microsoft’s early years is legendary. In the memoir Idea Man (2011,) co-founder Paul Allen recalled,

Microsoft was a high-stress environment because Bill drove others as hard as he drove himself.

Bob Greenberg, a Harvard classmate of Bill’s whom we’d hired, once put in 81 hours in four days, Monday through Thursday. … When Bill touched base toward the end of Bob’s marathon, he asked him, “What are you working on tomorrow?”

Bob said, “I was planning to take the day off.”

And Bill said, “Why would you want to do that?” He genuinely couldn’t understand it; he never seemed to need to recharge.

In a 2016 interview for BBC’s The Desert Island Discs program, Gates revealed that he was so obsessed during the early years of Microsoft that he couldn’t help but keep tabs on which Microsoft troopers stayed vigilant along the frontlines and which ones had retired home for the night. “I knew everyone’s license plate so I could look out in the parking lot and see when did people come in, when were they leaving.”

For most overworked and overwhelmed people, life’s great tipping point is the moment they realize something’s got to give

Hear any successful executive talk about work-life balance and you’ll recognize a pattern—they had an epiphany about the need for work-life balance. They were totally driven and single-minded for a long time, had difficulties in their personal life, and ultimately realized that they needed to have more balance in their life.

While this always makes for a stimulating narrative, the one aspect that is less emphasized is how much of their success was a direct outcome of single-minded focus. The truth is, most workaholics are successful.

Balance is Bunk: You can’t have everything—even if you work really, really hard

Some things are tough hard, and require an absolute commitment and high-level performance for sustained periods. Achieving distinction in any field requires extreme dedication, drive, and commitment to success—this is true of scholarship, business, art, music, sport, or parenting.

While it’s nice to extol the virtues of work-life balance, it must be acknowledged that balancing personal life with a career will inevitably lead to forgoing some advancement in the latter. Balance is sometimes about choosing between the two and setting priorities—it’s not just a matter of juggling on the way to “having it all.” This “balance” is something that each person has to decide for himself/herself.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Great Jobs are Overwhelming, and Not Everybody Wants Them
  2. Why You Can’t Relax on Your Next Vacation
  3. The #1 Warning Sign That You’re Burning Out at Work
  4. The #1 Cost of Overwork is Personal Relationships
  5. Understand What’s Stressing You Out

Filed Under: Career Development, Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance, Bill Gates, Business Stories, Career Planning, Entrepreneurs, Life Plan, Mindfulness, Relationships, Stress, Time Management, Work-Life

Small Steps, Big Revolutions: The Kaizen Way // Summary of Robert Maurer’s ‘One Small Step Can Change Your Life’

June 18, 2019 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Most intentions for change seek a transformative change—something significant to be achieved once and for all, in a short period. “Big, bold steps” is the mantra of many a self-help book or motivational guru du jour.

Real change, however, takes time and is difficult. You become overwhelmed with the magnitude of the effort and persistence required to lose twenty pounds, save up for retirement, change jobs, or stabilize a sinking relationship.

As with most New Year resolutions, you’ll meet with success temporarily, only to find yourself slipping back into our old ways as soon as the initial burst of enthusiasm fades out.

Gradual Improvement, Not Radical Change

UCLA clinical psychologist Dr. Robert Maurer’s One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way (2004) conceives transformative change as an endless, continuous process of gradual improvements.

'One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way' by Robert Maurer (ISBN 0761129235) By breaking daunting tasks into absurdly little steps, you feel little resistance to change.

To initiate a worthwhile exercise regimen, for example, Maurer suggests that you start exercising by marching in front of the television for one minute for a day or two. Then, little by little, ask, “How could I incorporate a few more minutes of exercise into my daily routine?” Such modest questions help you seek the next proverbial baby step and “allow the brain to focus on problem-solving and action.”

To tidy up your home, pick an area of your home, set a timer for five minutes, and tidy up. Stop when the timer goes off. [This is similar to my ’10-Minute Dash’ technique to overcome procrastination.]

One small step leads to the next, which leads to one more, and so on—finally leading you to your goal of transformative change.

“Little Steps Add Up to Brilliant Acceleration”

Maurer relates this approach to Kaizen, the famed Japanese system of obsessive tinkering and continuous, incremental improvement. This idea is actually American in origin—it was brought over by American efficiency and quality experts such as W. Edwards Deming who were helping Japan rebuild its industrial strength after World War II.

Kaizen involves making continual, small adjustments to production techniques to not only improve speed and quality, but also save resources. That is to say, it is a relentless pursuit of perfection by breaking it down into incremental improvements.

At companies that have embraced Kaizen and other Total Quality Management (TQM) approaches, employees come to work every day determined to become a little better at whatever it is they are doing than they were the day before. Katsuaki Watanabe of Toyota, the poster-boy of TQM, has acknowledged,

There is no genius in our company. We just do whatever we believe is right, trying every day to improve every little bit and piece. But when 70 years of very small improvements accumulate, they become a revolution.

Small Kaizen questions help you determine the next baby step and allow the brain to focus on problem-solving and action

“Little and often” empowers you to “tiptoe past fear”—your brain stops putting up resistance because it is tricked into thinking that you’re embarking only on something minuscule.

All changes are scary, even positive ones. Attempts to reach goals through radical or revolutionary means often fail because they heighten fear. But the small steps of Kaizen disarm the brain’s fear response, stimulating rational thought and creative play.

You can thus triumph over fear and the subsequent inaction that fear causes.

Small steps rewire your nervous system, create new connections between neurons so that the brain enthusiastically takes over the process of change and you progress rapidly toward your goal.

Minimalist, steady, incremental change helps your brain overcome the fear that impedes success and creativity

To avoid failure at keeping your resolutions despite your best intentions, don’t push yourself to somehow become different rapidly. Instead, pledge to achieve positive, enduring life changes one powerful baby step at a time.

Other prominent insights in Maurer’s One Small Step Can Change Your Life:

  • “Small actions satisfy your brain’s need to do something and soothe its distress.”
  • “If you are trying to reach a specific goal, ask yourself every day: What is one small step I could take toward reaching my goal?”
  • “Small actions are at the heart of Kaizen. By taking steps so tiny that they seem trivial or even laughable, you’ll sail calmly past obstacles that have defeated you before. Slowly—but painlessly!—you’ll cultivate an appetite for continued success and lay down a permanent new route to change.”
  • If you hit a wall of resistance, “don’t give up! Instead, try scaling back the size of your steps. Remember that your goal is to bypass fear—and to make the steps so small that you can barely notice an effort.”
  • When we face crises, “the only concrete steps available are small ones. When our lives are in great distress, even while we are feeling out of control or in emotional pain we can try to locate the smaller problems within the larger disaster … to help move us slowly in the direction of a solution. But if we are blind to the small, manageable problems, we are more likely to slip into despair.”

Recommendation: Speed-read One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way. It will help if you or a loved one is stuck in the rut of goal failure.

Take really small steps towards every significant change you want to make. The cumulative benefits of small improvements do have the power to produce large, transformative change. Let Kaizen be a routine that is never done.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. The “Adjacent Possible” Mental Model
  3. Kickstart Big Initiatives: Hackathons Aren’t Just for Tech Companies
  4. How to Banish Your Inner Perfectionist
  5. An Effective Question to Help Feel the Success Now

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Change Management, Coaching, Discipline, Getting Things Done, Goals, Life Plan, Lifehacks, Mental Models, Perfectionism, Problem Solving, Procrastination, Toyota

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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