Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Balance

How to … Nap at Work without Sleeping

By Leave a Comment

How to Take the Perfect Nap

Make nap time the new coffee break. A quick snooze boosts productivity and improves memory and problem-solving.

Bill Anthony’s The Art of Napping at Work (1999) states that a shot of shut-eye was an indispensable afternoon pick-me-up for some of history’s greatest achievers, viz., Aristotle, Eleanor Roosevelt, John D Rockefeller, Leonardo da Vinci, Lyndon B Johnson, Margaret Thatcher, Napoleon, Salvador Dalí, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill.

'Take a Nap Change Your Life' by Sara Mednick (ISBN 0761142908) According to the University of California-Irvine sleep researcher Sara Mednick, you don’t want to get into a deep sleep because you need to be alert. Her Take a Nap! Change Your Life (2006) uses the term “sleep inertia” to describe the inability to shrug sleep off after a nap. This impaired state worsens as you go deeper and deeper into sleep. So the trick is to avoid getting deep sleep.

If you nap about twenty minutes, you’ll be in light sleep, which is easy to get out of. In other words, twenty minutes is long enough to reach Stage 2 sleep, but short enough to ward you off from waking up groggy.

Idea for Impact: Go ahead and snooze for 20 minutes, ideally sometime between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. If you need help regaining alertness after the alarm goes off, step into bright light or splash your face with water. The post-nap energy spike can last for several hours.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Personal Energy: How to Manage It and Get More Done // Summary of ‘The Power of Full Engagement’
  2. The Mental Junkyard Hour
  3. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize [Two-Minute Mentor #9]
  4. Warren Buffett’s Advice on How to Focus on Priorities and Subdue Distractions
  5. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg Mckeown’s ‘Essentialism’

Great Jobs are Overwhelming, and Not Everybody Wants Them

By Leave a Comment

One of my friends, a senior executive at a Fortune 500 firm, recently said, “no, thank you” when asked if he’d like to be considered for the post of CEO of his company.

My friend is an ideal CEO candidate: he’s accomplished and well-liked, he’s about 10 years from retirement, he’s been a company “lifer,” and he’s worked hard grabbing the gold ring.

Great Jobs are Overwhelming, and Not Everybody Wants Them When I asked what caused this change of mind, he reflected, “At what cost, however?”

Well, his response wasn’t unexpected. A successful corporate career demands a high level of performance for sustained periods.

Ambitious professionals, especially top performers, have started to think differently about the tradeoffs of a demanding job. They’re asking questions such as “How much is enough?” and “If I get that job, what is it that I’m giving up?”

Most new CEOs are overwhelmed, disclosing that their jobs are more demanding, complex, and stressful than expected. Little wonder, then, that the average CEO’s tenure has gotten shorter over the years.

The brutal reality is that CEOs have less time than ever to prove their worth. The tolerance for mistakes and short-term underperformance has really gone down.

CEOs have to perform or perish. The CEO job is no longer a tenured role, and the ground has shifted over the decades. Several factors have made the jobs of business chiefs much more complicated than in the past. There’s immense pressure to produce consistently excellent results and keep everybody satisfied. It’s so stressful just working hard to keep the job. Then there’s the unremitting pressure of walking a tightrope; managing the conflicting interests between various stakeholders is exhausting.

Ceos Have Less Time Than Ever to Prove Their Worth CEOs’ performance must be more transparent than ever due to the never-ending demands imposed by global competition, geopolitical volatility, technological disruptions, ever-watchful regulators, increasingly engaged boards, and the specter of activist shareholders. A job with such challenges can quickly overwhelm, and CEOs end up working days, nights, and weekends in a futile attempt to pull free. They feel guilty about sacrificing precious family time for their work.

Above all, CEOs feel lonely at the top—being “where the buck stops,” they don’t have anyone to confide in. CEOs tend to isolate themselves due to the overwhelming responsibilities and the pressure to appear calm to employees.

Idea for Impact: Not everybody wishes to climb the top of the ladder. A high-pressure climate is not for everybody. Remember, burnout happens not when you work too much but when you invest emotionally in work and don’t get a commensurate return.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Truth About Work-Life Balance
  2. Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed
  3. A Quick Way to De-stress: The “Four Corners Breathing” Exercise
  4. Understand What’s Stressing You Out
  5. How to Combat Burnout at Work

Be Kind … To Yourself

By Leave a Comment

'Fierce Self-Compassion' by Kristin Neff (ISBN 006299106X) In Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive (2021,) University of Texas-Austin’s Kristin Neff argues that self-acceptance and self-compassion—being good to ourselves—makes us more likely to adopt healthy behaviors.

Neff summarizes numerous studies that have suggested that self-compassion is associated with overall well-being: “The more you’re able to accept yourself, the more you’re able to make positive, healthy changes in your life.”

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the relationship with yourself. Learn to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Put your needs on top; give yourself compassion and comfort. Listen to your restlessness. Feelings of agitation can lead to a new life of purpose. True self-awareness can help you learn what drives you, what excites you and motivates you.

Self-Compassion: Be Kind ... To Yourself Neff suggests creating moments within each day and practicing meaningful self-care. Do something nice for yourself: take a walk in the woods, meditate, play with a pet, call a friend for support, journal, or indulge in a hot bath.

Idea for Impact: Pay attention to your self-talk and speak to yourself the way you would to someone you love, “What do you need right now?” Dwell upon that question and allow an authentic answer to emerge. Then, ask, “What’s one brave decision you can make now to get unstuck and move in the direction of your goals? What’s stopping you from getting started?”

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  2. Heaven and Hell: A Zen Parable on Self-Awareness
  3. I’ll Be Happy When …
  4. Why People Get Happier as They Age
  5. Five Ways … You Could Be More Optimistic

Get Your Priorities Straight

By Leave a Comment

Get Your Priorities Straight Most folks don’t take the time to write down and prioritize their values and goals. That’s the cornerstone of the all time-maximizing strategies.

Without distinct values and priorities, many people devote insufficient time to activities that support their most significant priorities.

No matter your goals, begin by thinking thoroughly about why you are engaging in any activity and what you expect to get out of it. Then be time-conscious. Match your time allocations with these top goals. Deliberately decide if you want to pursue each task required of you. Recall, too, that what you get done, and not time, in and of itself, is the best measure of success.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Warren Buffett’s Advice on How to Focus on Priorities and Subdue Distractions
  2. Don’t Let Interruptions Hijack Your Day
  3. Zeigarnik Effect: How Incomplete Tasks Trigger Stress [Mental Models]
  4. Everything Takes Longer Than Anticipated: Hofstadter’s Law [Mental Models]
  5. Let Go of Sunk Costs

If Meditation Isn’t Working For You, Try Intermittent Silence

By Leave a Comment

If Meditation Isn't Working For You, Try Intermittent Silence Mindfulness meditation is tough. There’s no easy way around it. It can make you feel discouraged at best and miserable at worst when it doesn’t work.

If you’ve failed at trying different forms of meditation or don’t find them as calming as you hoped, try intermittent silence.

Intermittent silence is straightforward—it’s as simple as closing your eyes for 5 or 10 minutes, enveloping yourself in silence, and attending to the sounds of nature.

Intermittent silence quietens your mind. It shifts your attention from the incessant chatter in your head, disconnecting you from everything around and trying to reach a state of tranquility.

As disruptive thoughts emerge, let these thoughts pass by, acknowledging them but not engaging in them, just as you would glance at a butterfly fly around graciously. Make a deliberate effort to shift your attention away and focus on something else, e.g., a gentle breeze.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed
  2. A Quick Way to De-stress: The “Four Corners Breathing” Exercise
  3. How to Encourage Yourself During Tough Times
  4. The Best Breathing Exercise for Anxiety
  5. The Dutch Practice of Doing Nothing: Niksen

Bollywood: An Escapism to a Happier Place

By Leave a Comment

'Desperately Seeking Shah Rukh' by Shrayana Bhattacharya (ISBN 9354891934) On a long plane ride to India recently, I read Desperately Seeking Shah Rukh: India’s Lonely Young Women and the Search for Intimacy and Independence (2021,) economist Shrayana Bhattacharya’s ethnographic examination of legions of the superstar’s female fans.

Bollywood offers a diversion from the humdrum—and a reprieve from life’s many injustices. Female fans idealize Shah Rukh Khan in his portrayal of romantic, sensitive, vulnerable characters who’re utterly devoted to the women they love. But author Bhattacharya uses the escapism that Bollywood provides as a frame to paint a picture of feminism and socioeconomic inequity. Makes for interesting reading.

Bollywood Star Shah Rukh Khan: An Escapism to a Happier Place

All forms of entertainment offer pleasant escapism—a balm against life’s slings and arrows. But Bollywood melodramas go a step further. Amid the predictable storylines and emotional dialog is the kind and brave hero—the ones typically played by Shah Rukh Khan—who fights for the affections of a pretty damsel against all adversities and vile thugs. Its heroes embody all the desirable qualities and fill fans’ heads with dreams of romance and resolution that may never come.

Their fantasies are—can I get married and be happy? Can I own a small car and not worry about petrol prices? Life can be very hard in India, so for two hours, I’ll give them real fantasy.

—Shah Rukh Khan, quoted in The Australian 10-Aug-2013

And that isn’t so bad. When everything in the film is so pleasing to the hearts—pretty locales, vibrant colors, rhythmic music, and spirited dancing included—no one cares about the predicable hollowness, cheesy dialogues, and the lousy acting.

Idea for Impact: Escapism from quotidian existence makes the world a more optimistic place, waiting to be filled with its own color and song.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Be Kind … To Yourself
  2. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  3. Take Time to Savor Life’s Little Pleasures
  4. Heaven and Hell: A Zen Parable on Self-Awareness
  5. I’ll Be Happy When …

Having What You Want

By Leave a Comment

Finding Contentment---Wanting is Different from Having

Wanting is different from having.

Wanting is in the future. Having is here; it’s now.

Wanting is based on what could make you happy in the next minute, next week, or next year.

When you don’t let yourself have what you already have, you’re in a trap of your own making. You’re perpetually restless and disengaged. You aren’t present—you’re pursuing a happiness that’s always somewhere else.

Idea for Impact: Don’t be so occupied wanting the next thing that you don’t allow yourself to enjoy what’s in front of you now. You’ll become more content if you look harder for things to be grateful for in the here and now.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. I’ll Be Happy When …
  2. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg Mckeown’s ‘Essentialism’
  3. Yes, Money Can Buy Happiness
  4. Marie Kondo is No Cure for Our Wasteful and Over-consuming Culture
  5. Burt, Bees, and Simple Happiness / The Curious Case of Burt Shavitz

What Most People Get Wrong About Focus

By Leave a Comment

'Choose Wonder Over Worry' by Amber Rae (ISBN 0385491743) In Choose Wonder Over Worry (2018) self-help author Amber Rae recalls novelist Elizabeth Gilbert’s interaction with a wise older lady who was helping Gilbert with her struggles as a writer:

Lady: “What are you willing to give up in order to have the life you keep saying you want?”

Gilbert: “You’re right—I need to start saying no to things I don’t want to do.”

Lady: “No, it’s much harder than that. You need to learn to start saying no to things you _do_ want to do, with the recognition that you have only one life, and you don’t have time and energy for everything.”

This anecdote is such a powerful illustration of how saying ‘no’ is so much easier when you’re clear about your priorities.

Saying 'no' is so much easier when you're clear about your priorities That’s what focus really is—saying ‘no’ to things you’d like to do so that you can free up your time to focus on the pursuits that truly matter—even tasks you have to do, even if they don’t energize and excite you.

Idea for Impact: Setting boundaries isn’t always easy, but it’s essential to establish an overall sense of well-being. Every ‘no’ is a ‘yes’ to something else.

  • Don’t find any excuse to say ‘yes’ to what shouldn’t be done.
  • Don’t find any reason to say ‘no’ to what should be done.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Say “Yes” When You Really Want to Say “No”
  2. Here’s a Tactic to Sell Change: As a Natural Progression
  3. This Manager’s Change Initiatives Lacked Ethos, Pathos, Logos: Case Study on Aristotle’s Persuasion Framework
  4. Everything in Life Has an Opportunity Cost
  5. How to Make Others Feel They Owe You One: Reciprocity and Social Influence

Learning from Bad Managers

By Leave a Comment

Learning from Bad Managers It’s always nice to have great bosses who’ll teach you many things the easy way. However, you’ll have a boss who’s bad for you at some stage in your career. Bad bosses come in all forms: tyrants, abrasive, unprincipled, insensitive, indecisive, inconsistent, unfair, uncaring, arrogant, insensitive, quick-tempered, manipulative, apathetic, and so on.

If you’re perceptive, you can learn more from these bad examples than you’ll from the great bosses you’ll work for. Remember the axiom: “No one is totally worthless; you can always serve as a bad example.”

When you have a bad boss, ask yourself, what things about this boss will you commit to never doing? Make a list and refer to it occasionally. Avoiding doing these things will help you be a better boss—and be a positive role model for others.

Idea for Impact: Bad bosses can become useful teachers precisely because they provide some of the best lessons in what not to do that you’ll ever be offered. Take it upon yourself to never be like your bad boss.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Be Friends with Your Boss
  2. Don’t Manage with Fear
  3. The Good of Working for a Micromanager
  4. 20 Reasons People Don’t Change
  5. No Boss Likes a Surprise—Good or Bad

Why You Can’t Relax on Your Next Vacation

By Leave a Comment

Why You Can't Relax on Your Next Vacation Some managers can’t slow down even on vacation. They keep worrying about their work and won’t come back feeling rested and rejuvenated.

If you feel the added guilt of being away, it may be time for you to look inward and reflect upon your ability to delegate. Don’t bring fear of inadequacy with you on vacation.

Sure, most people responsible for delivering big things find it difficult to be away. Feeling out of control is always stressful. Here’s how to make time off as restful as possible:

  • Schedule 1-hour check-ins every day.
  • Manage your team’s expectations and make sure everyone knows what matters you want to be bothered about.
  • Build-in buffers at both ends. Don’t work right until you leave for the airport and don’t get back to work right off the plane. Schedule an extra day off before you depart and another when you return. Dive back in slowly.

Idea for Impact: Time off should be time off. Get the most out of your time off by unplugging completely.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Do Your Team a Favor: Take a Vacation
  2. The Truth About Work-Life Balance
  3. Yes, Money Can Buy Happiness
  4. Great Jobs are Overwhelming, and Not Everybody Wants Them
  5. How to Boost Your Willpower // Book Summary of Baumeister & Tierney’s ‘Willpower’