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Getting Along

Ditch Deadlines That Deceive

January 9, 2026 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Ditch Fake Deadlines and Stop Letting Deceptive Urgency Drive Work Imposing fake deadlines may ignite a temporary burst of activity, but the cost is steep: truth is sacrificed, trust frayed, and reason quietly exiled.

While artificial urgency can sometimes inspire excellence, it more often conditions teams to greet future demands with suspicion rather than motivation. Like crying “Wolf!,” it dulls responsiveness and undermines your team’s intelligence.

The damage runs deeper than missed deliverables—it corrodes morale, dims creative spark, and leaves the workplace echoing with cynicism. Sustainable performance doesn’t emerge from panic-fueled productivity drills, but from trust, clarity, and purpose.

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  5. The Likeability Factor: Whose “Do Not Pair” List Includes You?

Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People, Project Management, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Budgeting, Character, Getting Along, Great Manager, Likeability, Mental Models, Persuasion, Relationships, Targets, Teams

Good Taste in Humor

December 19, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Dawn French: Good Taste Makes Humor Funny; Bad Taste Ruins the Humor British comedian and The Vicar of Dibley star Dawn French is credited with saying, “When it’s funny, it’s not bad taste. And when it’s bad taste, it’s not funny.” These words capture a fundamental truth: comedy balances cleverness and offense, joy and discomfort.

Humor is subjective, yet great comedy thrives on wit, relatability, and the unexpected—not cruelty or cheap shock value. It illuminates life’s absurdities, inviting fresh perspectives without alienating its audience. When comedy resorts to malice or punches down, it fails both ethically and comedically. By adapting to shifting cultural norms, true humor unites us by challenging preconceptions and sparking dialogue.

Idea for Impact: Use French’s words as your litmus test. Don’t just aim for laughs—strive to be artful, intelligent, and empathetic. Make people think rather than regret laughing.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. Avoid Trigger Words: Own Your Words with Grace and Care
  3. “Are We Fixing, Whinging, or Distracting?”
  4. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond
  5. Here’s How to Improve Your Conversational Skills

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conversations, Etiquette, Getting Along, Humor, Likeability, Mental Models, Social Skills

It’s Never About You

December 15, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Don't Take It Personally: Others' Actions Reflect Them, Not Your Worth. Disappointed? Hurt? Offended?

Let’s get real: most slights aren’t about you.

Someone trashed your Instagram post, shot down your opinion, or picked a petty fight? Not about you. They’re venting or projecting. You’re just collateral damage.

Your friend forgot your birthday, your coworker swiped your idea, or a relative threw a harsh critique? It stings. Still not about you. Their actions come from their own mess.

Customer service left you hanging, or some frustrating process ate hours of your life? Annoying, yes—personal, no. These systems aren’t made for you.

Lost money or a bad investment? Blame timing, luck, or the universe’s indifference. Not about you.

Someone dropped a cruel comment? Still not about you. Their bias says everything about them, not you.

Here’s the truth: people are self-absorbed. We live in our own bubbles, always chasing our own needs and fears. We rarely see others as full people. They’re props in our drama. And who loses sleep over props?

Idea for Impact: When someone disappoints you, remember: it’s not about you. Odds are, you didn’t even cross their mind.

Stop asking, “What does this say about me?” The answer is, “Nothing.” Flip the script. Focus on what their behavior says about them. Dropping the “me lens” reduces stress, lowers anxiety, and builds empathy. Life’s randomness isn’t yours to control. But resilience? That’s your superpower. Not every bump needs a deep dive.

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  1. Affection Is No Defense: Good Intentions Make Excellent Alibis
  2. You’re Worthy of Respect
  3. How to … Care Less About What Other People Think
  4. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  5. Who Told You That Everybody Was Going to Like You?

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Attitudes, Confidence, Conflict, Emotions, Getting Along, Likeability, Relationships, Resilience

Boundaries Define What You are—and What You’re Not

December 5, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Boundaries Define What You are---and What You're Not Boundaries define what you’ll tolerate and what you won’t. Without them, you hand control of your time and energy to others.

Setting boundaries isn’t about being rude. It’s about owning your space. If someone doesn’t like it, tough. You’re not here to make life easier for them.

Boundaries send a clear message: “Respect me or step back.” Without them, confusion and frustration creep in. You end up stuck doing favors for people who never even asked if you had the time.

Your boundaries reflect your values. Before you can set them, you’ve got to know your own limits and priorities. You can’t defend what you haven’t defined.

State your boundaries firmly, not as a request but as a fact. Those who respect them show they understand you. Those who don’t make it clear they never did.

Idea for Impact: If someone crosses the line, stand firm. Let them know their actions are not acceptable. Do not back down.

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  4. When One Person is More Interested in a Relationship
  5. Affection Is No Defense: Good Intentions Make Excellent Alibis

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conflict, Getting Along, Likeability, Negotiation, Relationships

‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’ Teaches That the Most Sincere Moment is the Unplanned One

November 28, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Most Sincere Moment is the Unplanned One (Lessons from Mrs Brown's Boys)

I’ve been binge-watching the Irish-British sitcom Mrs. Brown’s Boys. It’s a refreshingly unpolished comedy—equal parts pratfall, dry wit, and show-business bravado. The series delights in on-air flubs and live-studio gags. Beneath the chaos lies a shrewd grasp of character and timing.

The show has deservedly received poor reviews from critics and TV audiences, but it thrives where traditional comedies hesitate—embracing the messy and unscripted with gleeful abandon.

One of the show’s hallmarks is its reliance on ad-libbing. During sketches, actors bait Brendan O’Carroll—who plays the indomitable Agnes Brown—with off-book quips, and he returns the favor by springing surprises on them. This give-and-take sparks real mishaps: actors flub lines, snort with laughter, or break character outright. These unscripted gaffes often hit harder than the written punchlines and lend the series a raw, stage-play immediacy.

That anything-goes spirit comes from an unconventional ensemble. Most of the main cast are family members and lifelong friends. They’ve grown up with these characters—on radio, in touring stage shows, and on TV. That loyalty infuses each scene with genuine warmth, turning flubbed lines into endearing inside jokes. In Mrs. Brown’s Boys, even the mayhem feels like a home movie you’re invited to sneer at—and secretly applaud.

Rather than hiding its seams, Mrs. Brown’s Boys tears them wide open. It winks at the camera and revels in live-show unpredictability. These fourth-wall breaches aren’t gimmicks—they’re invitations. Viewers aren’t just watching; they’re in on the joke, complicit in every pratfall and punchline. This collapse of artifice invites a question: what do we value more—crafted dialogue or unscripted reality? Mrs. Brown’s Boys discards polish in favor of spontaneous combustion. When an actor snorts mid-scene, it’s not a mistake—it’s a reminder that we’re witnessing something real. And that vulnerability—that glorious unsteadiness—is its greatest asset.

Messy and divisive, the show thrives on human unpredictability. It doesn’t just deliver punchlines, it invents them live. You’re not merely laughing at the jokes; you’re watching them take shape in real time. That, perhaps, is the show’s slyest joke.

At its core, Mrs. Brown’s Boys is more than slapstick anarchy—it’s a case study in presence. In work or in life, we’re tempted by flawless facades. But real moments emerge only when we risk imperfection. The show’s unscripted humor reminds us that when control slips, authenticity rushes in—and those unguarded flashes are often the funniest, and most human, of all.

Idea for Impact: Often, irreverence—when wielded with wit—is the finest antidote to cultural pomposity.

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  3. Airline Safety Videos: From Dull Briefings to Dynamic Ad Platforms
  4. The Mere Exposure Effect: Why We Fall for the Most Persistent
  5. What Virgin’s Richard Branson Teaches: The Entrepreneur as Savior, Stuntman, Spectacle

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills, The Great Innovators Tagged With: Creativity, Getting Along, Humor, Innovation, Likeability, Parables, Personality, Persuasion, Psychology, Thought Process

Don’t Abruptly Walk Away from an Emotionally Charged Conflict

November 21, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Don't Abruptly Walk Away from an Emotionally Charged Conflict A disagreement stays harmless until you make it personal. Attack someone’s character, dismiss their opinions, or ignore their emotions, and it stops being a discussion. It becomes a battle.

When emotions flare, logic vanishes. You’re no longer debating ideas—you’re defending your identity. It’s not about the issue anymore. It’s about validation. It’s us versus them. You fight to prove your point while tuning theirs out. If you’re already stressed or dragging old grudges, expect a full-blown meltdown. Old conflicts have a nasty habit of crashing new arguments.

To stop a disagreement from spiraling, resist making it personal. Even if their perspective sounds absurd, make a real effort—however brief—to understand it. If you value the relationship more than the argument, find common ground.

And don’t storm off. A dramatic exit feels good in the moment but sends one loud message: I don’t respect you enough to finish this. If you need space, say it straight. Try, “This is getting heated, and I’m not sure I’m communicating effectively. I need a break to collect my thoughts. Can we take five minutes?” Address it. Be clear. Pretend you’re listening—even if you aren’t.

Wondering what to read next?

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  4. Who Told You That Everybody Was Going to Like You?
  5. Making the Nuances Count in Decisions

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Assertiveness, Attitudes, Conflict, Conversations, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Social Skills

The Pickleball Predicament: If The CEO Wants a Match, Don’t Let It Be a Mismatch

November 5, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Competitive Grace: What a Pickleball Match with a CEO Really Tests In the modern workplace, the line between professional and personal conduct has blurred. We dine with managers, follow VPs on social media, and occasionally find ourselves invited to a pickleball game with the CEO and his partner. It feels casual. It isn’t.

Imagine you’re a sharp, 33-year-old executive with enviable rapport: affable, competitive CEO—the kind who smiles while dismantling your argument in a meeting. He hears you’re good at pickleball and suggests a match. Sounds friendly. Feels flattering. But immediately, you sense the undertow. Should you play? And if you do—win, lose, coast?

The answer isn’t etiquette. It’s performance psychology.

Play. Play fully. Play honestly.

Authenticity isn’t just a virtue, it’s strategic. People respect genuine conviction. Against a high-achieving CEO, showing up as your full self signals confidence, not arrogance; integrity, not vanity. The real risk is underplaying for his ego—feigned incompetence makes you look insincere and calculating.

Here’s the payoff: how he responds matters. If he loses and laughs, adapts or tightens his game—if grace or insecurity surfaces—you learn something valuable. Informal play can reveal more than any meeting.

If your boss needs you to lose to feel powerful, he’s not leading. He’s compensating. You’ll have to decide whether that fragility deserves your loyalty. Managing up sometimes demands confrontation, not appeasement.

Other times, restraint is wiser. Watch for signals. Some CEOs test for dominance; others just want to unwind. If he’s probing technique, teach. If he’s chasing laughter and sweat, ease up. Self-regulation isn’t dishonesty—it’s emotional acuity. Knowing when to soften your game shows you read the moment. Pickleball, like influence, is contextual. Treat it as theater when it is, and recess when it’s not.

Idea for Impact: When the invite comes, don’t overthink. Say yes. Stretch. Compete. Play hard and you’ll earn respect. Play soft and you’ll raise suspicion.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Avoid Control Talk
  2. “But, Excuse Me, I’m Type A”: The Ultimate Humblebrag?
  3. Witty Comebacks and Smart Responses for Nosy People
  4. You’re Worthy of Respect
  5. What Jeeves Teaches About Passive Voice as a Tool of Tact

Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conflict, Etiquette, Getting Ahead, Getting Along, Likeability, Managing the Boss, Networking, Personality, Social Dynamics, Social Skills, Winning on the Job

Likeability Is What’ll Get You Ahead

October 29, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Likeability Is What'll Get You Ahead Performance proves you belong. But it doesn’t earn influence, open strategic doors, or attract sponsorship. Those privileges follow likeability—not charm, not flattery, but emotional fluency grounded in trust.

Managers want less friction. Clients don’t return for credentials alone—they come back because you make them feel heard. Peers connect with those who offer steadiness and mutual respect. Likeability doesn’t flatter. It moves.

If people like you, they give you more space. You’ll notice how they forgive your mistakes, extend your deadlines, soften their doubt, and delay the impulse to blame. Push against that goodwill, and those graces vanish. You’ll meet clipped timelines, rigid judgment, and zero elasticity. Even a flawless argument falls flat if your manner puts people off or your tone sharpens without precision.

Likeability isn’t submission. It’s competence wrapped in warmth. Read context well. Speak with consistency. Build trust without resorting to performance art. Smart likeability never feels forced. It’s intelligent grace—not cheerful idiocy.

'The Charisma Myth' by Olivia Fox Cabane (ISBN 1591845947) Likeability, for better or worse, often plays out as performance. Dale Carnegie, the self-improvement pioneer, mapped the terrain in How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)—a blueprint for interpersonal strategy rooted in generosity. Leadership coach Olivia Fox Cabane reframed magnetism as skill in The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism (2012.) Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins’s The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over (2015) breaks influence down into behavioral cues you can observe, learn, and apply.

Still, likeability curdles when culture turns toxic. Workplaces reward conformity and punish candor. Hollow collegiality takes the stage while truth gets outsourced to applause. Colleagues flatter not out of belief—but survival.

That’s why your performance must hold. Your integrity must anchor you. When those pillars stay upright, likeability amplifies your credibility. It doesn’t mask incompetence. It builds trust faster than intellect alone.

Idea for Impact: Likeability lubricates influence. Performance gets you in. Likeability keeps you in the room. If you want to be heard—and stay heard—you’ll need a presence that disarms without diminishing you.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Likeability Factor: Whose “Do Not Pair” List Includes You?
  2. The Pickleball Predicament: If The CEO Wants a Match, Don’t Let It Be a Mismatch
  3. The Business of Business is People and Other Leadership Lessons from Southwest Airlines’s Herb Kelleher
  4. Avoid Control Talk
  5. Being Underestimated Can Be a Great Thing

Filed Under: Career Development, Leading Teams, Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Getting Along, Leadership Lessons, Likeability, Networking, Personality, Persuasion, Relationships, Social Skills, Winning on the Job

What Jeeves Teaches About Passive Voice as a Tool of Tact

October 24, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

What Jeeves Teaches About Passive Voice as a Tool of Tact

P. G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Wooster tales are more than delightful escapades. They offer masterclasses in elegant interaction and psychological finesse. One standout feature is Jeeves’s knack for steering Bertie Wooster away from disaster without resorting to blunt rebuke.

Jeeves never calls Bertie foolish. Instead, he refers to the latest tangle as a “rather complex imbroglio” or a “somewhat delicate situation.” These euphemisms allow Bertie to preserve his dignity while quietly grasping that he has stumbled again. Jeeves’s tact sustains trust, amplifies influence, and fosters a dynamic of gentle guidance over domination.

Central to this diplomacy is Jeeves’s expert use of passive voice. Rather than saying, “You’ve made a fool of yourself,” he offers, “There appears to have been a slight misunderstanding.” Shifting focus from the individual to the circumstance softens criticism. It diffuses blame, avoids defensiveness, and invites collaborative problem-solving—an ideal approach when harmony matters more than fault.

Passive voice offers distinct advantages in criticism. It cushions judgment, encourages reflection, and de-emphasizes the actor. By highlighting the event rather than the person, it makes feedback feel less accusatory and more constructive. This reduces tension and promotes respectful dialogue, especially in delicate or hierarchical relationships.

Yet diplomacy falters when passive voice is overused. “Mistakes were made” may sound politic, but it lacks clarity and direction. Vagueness erodes accountability.

Idea for Impact: Choosing between active and passive voice depends on intent. If tact is the aim, passive phrasing—handled as artfully as Jeeves handles a cravat—serves a distinct purpose. But when honesty and accountability take precedence, clarity matters more than softness. Language is not just what we say; it is how we say it. And in that, Jeeves stands as a model of refined expression.

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  2. The Sensitivity of Politics in Today’s Contentious Climate
  3. Witty Comebacks and Smart Responses for Nosy People
  4. Making the Nuances Count in Decisions
  5. Nice Ways to Say ‘No’

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Communication, Conflict, Conversations, Etiquette, Getting Along, Likeability, Parables, Persuasion, Social Skills

A Boss’s Presence Deserves Our Gratitude’s Might

October 15, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Why We Need Bosses: The Backbone of Workplace Success

Ever pause and ponder a while on the virtues that make a boss worthwhile?

The boss hands out assignments and waits for the deliverables.

The boss helps set the course.

The boss organizes your time for you.

The boss decides what’s urgent.

The boss steers you toward success with purpose.

The boss paves the path for growth and success.

The boss lends a hand in moments of doubt.

The boss keeps you going when you don’t feel like doing it.

The boss gives you cover when you goof up (“he told me to!.”)

The boss pays you even when the client doesn’t honor the invoice.

The boss takes the blame.

The boss creates deadlines and sticks with them.

The boss makes sure you show up in the morning.

The boss pays for the office supplies.

The boss gives you someone to complain about.

The boss is an easy scapegoat for your personal frustrations or workplace dissatisfactions.

The boss carves up the work and gives you just that piece you signed up to do.

The boss gives you a role model (sometimes one who exhibits behaviors or values to be avoided.)

The boss gives you the momentum you need to get through the stuff that takes perseverance.

Tomorrow (16-Oct) is ‘National Boss’s Day’ in the United States and many other countries. It’s a good time to recognize the many challenges and pressures bosses face.

Sure, not all bosses are perfect … but let’s take a moment to show some love to those bosses who lead with dedication and commitment.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. No Boss Likes a Surprise—Good or Bad
  2. Don’t Be Friends with Your Boss
  3. You Can’t Serve Two Masters
  4. Tips for Working for a Type-A Boss
  5. The Good of Working for a Micromanager

Filed Under: Leadership, Managing People Tagged With: Conflict, Getting Along, Great Manager, Managing the Boss, Relationships, Winning on the Job

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!