Discipline

Why People Get Happier as They Age

January 23, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Studies have pointed out that most people get happier as they grow older. In fact, across any cultural, economic, and social spectrum, the most content cohort tends to be seniors.

Older people find happiness in “ordinary” things.

Older people start taking stock of their blessings. They’ve concluded that life is short. Amid the anxieties about ill health, income and savings, changes in social status, and bereavements, they tend to make the best of the time they have left.

People in later life learn to avoid situations that make them feel sad or stressed. They have relationships that are more meaningful. They’ve also had more time to learn and read others’ intentions, which helps them avoid stressful situations and develop better solutions to conflict. They’re less likely to experience persistent negative moods.

In short, older people have a better sense of perspective on life, and they take things in stride. Moreover, they’re better able to control their emotions.

Idea for Impact: Don’t wait until later life for a positive experience.

If there’s one thing the older folks can show us best, happiness is a function of expectations. Older people adjust their expectations of life. They have lower aspirations, and they learn to find satisfaction in tiny triumphs.

What elements of that mindset could you integrate into your life now? Could you live more in the present tense, not grasping at some future happiness jackpot?

How to Banish Your Inner Perfectionist

January 21, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

You have an enemy: a feisty, malign force working against you. It’s the internalized perfectionist. It’s the stream of subversive self-talk urging indecision, doubt, and fear.

The #1 hack to overcoming you perfectionist tendency is to accept that whatever you need to work on just needs to be an outline, first attempt, rough copy, version 0. It needn’t be perfect. You just need to get it to a little bit better shape than before. You can then consider the next baby step.

Idea for Impact: Many things in your life need not be done perfectly. They’re to be done … just done … done to spur more done … not to dwell to perfection.

Your goal now is not to be like a Picasso, Mozart, Steven King, Lebron James, Warren Buffett, or some superstar. All you have to do now is create, edit, fix, or process and get whatever it is you’re working on to the next milestone. Make this a rule.

Don’t Be as Sad as Saddam // Summary of William McRaven’s ‘Make Your Bed’

January 19, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Admiral William McRaven’s best-selling Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life … And Maybe the World (2017) is one of those enormously successful inspirational books derived from the author’s one famous speech, in this case his 2014 commencement address at the University of Texas-Austin.

McRaven is a retired Navy SEAL. He was the head of the special ops team that killed Osama bin Laden. His book’s central message is exactly what the title proposes—it’s easy to find excuses in our lives. Simple habits, self-discipline, and a large dose of effort can be a framework for personal success and lay the foundations for changing others’ lives.

You need an anchor point for your day, and sometimes that anchor is as a simple as making your bed … If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another. And by the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed.

Once you start your day with a completed task, you feel accomplished, and you feel motivated to keep performing things. Making your bed is thus a reflection of your discipline, your pride, and your habits. And if you’ve had a bad day, you can come at least home to a made bed and put your feet up.

If, instead, you succumb to indifference, you’ll likely carry around the same state of mind for the rest of the day. Making your bed and tidying up sets up the intention and the tone for the rest of the day.

The rest of Make Your Bed is the staple of graduation speeches—personal anecdotes that abruptly end with lessons on initiative, risk-taking, perseverance, hardship, courage. For instance, there’s a chapter on hostage negotiation that tersely ends with, “Life is a struggle … without pushing your limits… you will never know what is truly possible in your life.”

Recommendation: Quick-read Make Your Bed, especially the first chapter. And listen to the University of Texas-Austin commencement address—McRaven’s spoken voice is more uplifting.

With all due respect, beyond the intrigue of McRaven’s rigorous training and stellar experience in the armed forces, Make Your Bed makes a recurring assertion that failure to make one’s bed suggests not mere apathy but some terminal moral decay. For instance, “[Saddam Hussein did not make his bed.] … The road to hell may or may not be paved with good intentions, but the one that leads invariably to illegally annexing Kuwaiti oil fields and gassing thousands of your own people begins with a messy bed.” McRaven’s underlying message might as well be “don’t be as bad and sad as Saddam, just make your bed.”

How to Own Your Future

January 14, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Work seems to be shifting faster than ever. The New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman provides a particularly emblematic example of the profound changes in the way people work and the way organizations design jobs and work environments:

Work is being disconnected from jobs, and jobs and work are being disconnected from companies, which are increasingly becoming platforms. A great example of this is what’s ha ppening in the cab business. Traditional local cab companies own cars and have employees who have a job; they drive those cars. But, now they’re competing with Uber, which owns no cars, has no employees, and just provides a platform of work that brings together ride-needers and ride-providers.

Adaptivity via Self-Directed Learning

Dramatic economic, social, and technological changes necessitate professionals at all levels to be almost continuously trained and re-trained just to keep abreast of all facets of working life.

The career implication of this continuous transformation is the increasing need for ongoing learning. You’ll have to equip yourself to stay ahead of changes. In other words, you’ll need a growth mindset to learn, apply, reorient, and keep learning.

More Will Be Now on You

You’ll need to be self-directed. You’ll need to take the initiative and responsibility for the learning process. You’ll need to recognize training needs and choose how you’ll meet these needs rather than rely on your organization to tell you what to learn and how to do it. The smarter organizations out there are enabling and promoting individual choice and self-directed and self-determined learning.

What will set successful professionals apart in the future is that they take responsibility for their continuous learning. They proactively explore what they may be interested in and what the future will demand instead of indifferently waiting for options to present themselves.

Idea for Impact: Own Your Learning

Set your sights on a long career with multiple stages, each involving ongoing training and re-skilling. If you want to achieve career greatness, you will likely find your current skill sets obsolete in less than five years without self-directed learning.

Develop a growth mindset that’ll help you grow, expand, evolve, and change.

Intentions, Not Resolutions

January 4, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

I think resolutions set you up for failure because they’re usually daunting, and they don’t give you a plan for how to realize what you want to achieve. More to the point, you underestimate how long it’ll take you to kick a bad habit or adopt a good one.

On the other hand, intentions propose paths forward—they can keep you accountable in the process.

Intentions dig into the WHY

Change is hard—change requires real commitment, planning, and follow-through. Intentions help by grounding you to what you can commit to today and tomorrow. Intentions will remind you of the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live.

Intentions don’t demand perfection, and intentions leave some room for error. Intentions will help you commit yourself and not fill you with guilt and shame if you fall off the wagon for a short period. With intentions, you can anticipate lapses and plan for them.

Setting intentions and then taking action becomes an exciting path of self-discovery rather than a guilt-trap set up with broken resolutions.

Idea for Impact: Set Intentions Instead of Yearly Resolutions

Put less pressure on yourself and set yourself up for success by making regular daily, weekly, and monthly intentions. Once you set the intention, focus on getting to the first step. Then, regroup and think about step two. This way, you target short-term achievable results, and the intention orients you.

Don’t make intentions for the entire year. It’s just hard to keep up with something and stay excited about it year-round.

Plan Tomorrow, Plus Two

December 21, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

At the end of each day (or first thing in the morning,) plan tomorrow and the next two days.

Review your commitments and write out the full list of what you want to accomplish over the three days. Outline the first day more thoroughly than the other two.

This act of writing down what needs to get done helps you feel less anxious—tasks seem smaller on paper than in your head. According to the Zeigarnik Effect, just the simple act of recording a task in a plan relieves the mental stress attributable to unresolved and interrupted tasks.

Having a three-day horizon allows you to be flexible.

You’ll know where your “wiggle room” is, so interruptions don’t invade your day. You can move your priority tasks around should the circumstances change. You can set apart emergencies from non-emergencies that can be addressed later.
When you have a lot on your plate, or something is taking longer than you planned, you can defer what’s avoidable today and move tasks around.

At the end of each day, rewrite your three-day roadmap. Reconsider how each task aligns with the current priorities and spread them over the next three days.

Idea for Impact: Plan tomorrow, plus two. You’ll have a clearer insight of the immediate future—and you’ll be better prepared to attend to those inevitable unforeseen demands for your time.

Don’t Cheat. Just Eat.

December 12, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you’re someone who likes to “cheat” over the holidays and indulge in calorie-rich festive treats, why think of food as yet another serving of shame?

Being out of shape isn’t a failure of character.

Guilt around food is not just pointless—it actually can be harmful. Distress can sabotage digestion. Research suggests that anxiety kicks your autonomic nervous system into high gear. The capacities of your digestive organs are subdued, and instead of metabolizing and assimilating your food, it’s processed less effectively. In other words, guilt—or any sort of negative self-judgment—can initiate stress signals and neurotransmitters. These hinder a healthy digestive response.

Eat whatever it is you want mindfully and let it make you happy. Indulging is part of what sets a holiday apart. As the Roman dramatist Terence counseled, “Everything in moderation” (to which the Irish playwright Oscar Wilde added, “… including moderation.”)

Also, stop “food policing” others.

Idea for Impact: Give Your Guilt a Holiday

Eat, drink, and be merry this holiday season. Yes, slackening up on your diet plan doesn’t feel great, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, either. However, labeling it “cheating” probably is. Your language matters!

Do it Now // Summary of ‘The 5 Second Rule’ by Mel Robbins

November 23, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Mel Robbins’s The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage (2017) argues that much of what holds you back in life has roots in those few precious moments between when you have an idea and when your brain gets in the way of acting on that idea.

The 5-second rule is simple. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it. …. Hesitation is the kiss of death. You might hesitate for a just nanosecond, but that’s all it takes. That one small hesitation triggers a mental system that’s designed to stop you. And it happens in less than—you guessed it—five seconds.

Robbins asserts that you have five seconds to act on your ideas before you run the risk of subconsciously convincing yourself not to. Stay alert for those decisive moments. Each time, consider the benefits and liabilities of doing versus deferring.

When you internalize a do-it-now mindset, you’ll be dragging your feet less: “There’s one thing that is guaranteed to increase your feelings of control over your life: a bias toward action.”

There’s some wisdom here: don’t wait for motivation, high energy, or a sense of focus before taking action. Create motivation by taking action. Once initiated, action tends to gather momentum—tasks become increasingly easy to sustain.

Recommendation: Skip Mel Robbins’s The 5 Second Rule. You don’t need 240 pages of testimonials and cheery page-fillers on not thinking your way out of problems. Watch her TED talk instead.

Idea for Impact: When you catch yourself thinking you’ll do something later, take it as a nudge to do it now. Take action before procrastination sets in. Action motivates.

Make a Habit of Stepping Back from Work

November 10, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

“Busyness” often initiates as a lack of focus. Our culture has been seduced into thinking that we can achieve anything if we try harder and work longer.

Besides, good jobs are overwhelming. Many company cultures count on employees to compartmentalize their lives and prioritize work over all else. Managers expect that employees become what sociologists have identified as “ideal workers”: folks who are entirely dedicated to their jobs and are always on call, sometimes at great expense to their personal life. Such dedication is detrimental not just to employee wellbeing but also to the bottom line.

Being productive requires acknowledging that you can’t work for extended periods and maintain a high-performance level.

Make a habit of stepping back. Taking your mind off work can help you overcome mental blocks. Being productive requires creative thinking more than perseverance.

You’re more likely to find breakthrough ideas when you temporarily remove yourself from the grind. The best solutions uncover themselves when you step into the shower, go for a run, have lunch away from your desk, or set off on holiday.

Up the Good Stuff. To feel less burned-out, do a little more of the things you love and a smidgen less drudge work.
Seek Breathing Room. That’s a metaphor for space to catch up with yourself, regroup, think over whatever’s happening, and know how you feel and what to do next.
Thwart Decision Fatigue. You have a limited capacity for concentrating over extended periods. You can restore your executive function and overcome mental fatigue through interventions—short rest, engaging in creative purists, and increasing the body’s glucose levels.

Idea for Impact: If you want to get more done, start taking breaks. Busyness is very different from effectiveness.

Eat That Frog! // Summary of Brian Tracy’s Time Management Bestseller

October 19, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Self-help megastar Brian Tracy’s Eat That Frog! (2001) focuses on how to put you—not the incessant flow of attention-demands that inundate you—in the driver’s seat. The most effective time management is staying aware of what genuinely deserves your attention.

Tracy’s central premise is that to be more time-effective, you must discover the one momentous task—the most dreaded task or the “frog”—that you need to do. Take steps to do this task right away with the utmost urgency and attention, even if you don’t feel like doing it. “If you have to eat a live frog at all, it doesn’t pay to sit and look at it for very long.”

Suppose you start your day by “eating a live frog” (a memorable Mark Twain metaphor, but has an even more extended history.) In that case, you know that the most unpleasant part of the day is behind you.

“Set the table.” People fail because they aren’t clear about their goals. Decide exactly what it is that you must achieve. Write down goals and objectives. Plan every day in advance. Every minute spent in planning can save 5-10 minutes in execution.
Embrace the Pareto Principle. 20% of activities account for 80% of the results. Always concentrate efforts on those top 20%. Pick the hardest, but most important and meaningful tasks first. “Successful people are those who are willing to delay gratification and make sacrifices in the short term so that they can enjoy far greater rewards in the long-term.”
Adopt the ABCDE method. Prioritize tasks from A (most significant) to E (least significant) and work on the As. Focus on key result areas. Delegate the D tasks and get rid of the E tasks.
Obey the “Law of Forced Efficiency.” Lack of clarity can be a killer because it impairs action, and action is the secret to success. “There is never enough time for everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important things. What are they?”
Identify your key constraints. Your most significant limitation is an anchor that keeps you from sailing on with your strengths. “Determine the bottlenecks or choke points, internally or externally, that set the speed at which you achieve your most important goals and focus on alleviating them.”
Let deadlines motivate you. “Imagine that you have to leave town for a month and work as if you had to get all your major tasks completed before you left.” Develop a sense of urgency: Make a habit of moving fast on your critical tasks.
Manage for personal energy and attention. “Identify the periods of highest mental and physical energy and structure the most important and demanding tasks around those times.” Also, “Organize your days around large blocks of time where you can concentrate for extended periods on your most important tasks.”
Motivate yourself into action. Focus on the solution rather than the problem. Always be optimistic and constructive. “Most of your emotions, positive or negative, are determined by how you talk to yourself on a minute-to-minute basis. It is not what happens to you but the way you interpret the things that are happening to you that determines how you feel. Your version of events largely determines whether these events motivate or de-motivate you, whether they were energized or de-energize you.”
Single-handle every task. “The ability to concentrate single-mindedly on your most important task, to do it well and to finish it completely, is the key to great success.”
Success requires self-discipline, self-mastery, and self-control. These are the building blocks of character and high performance.

Recommendation: Speed-read Brian Tracy’s Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time. This bestselling tome offers practical steps for overcoming procrastination with focused determination. Yes, much of the book is trite, and Tracy is excessively repetitive. However, Eat That Frog! is a useful synthesis of such simple disciplines as determining priorities, delegating and eliminating some tasks, knowing what’s okay to procrastinate about, and getting it all done.

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Discipline

Older people find happiness in “ordinary” things.

Idea for Impact: Don’t wait until later life for a positive experience.

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Adaptivity via Self-Directed Learning

More Will Be Now on You

Idea for Impact: Own Your Learning

Wondering what to read next?

Intentions dig into the WHY

Idea for Impact: Set Intentions Instead of Yearly Resolutions

Wondering what to read next?

Wondering what to read next?

Idea for Impact: Give Your Guilt a Holiday

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