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How to … Deal with Less Intelligent People

June 10, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to ... Deal with Less Intelligent People Dealing with those whose smarts don’t match yours can quickly grate on your nerves.

When you feel that frustration bubbling up because someone isn’t quite on the same page intellectually, try stepping into their shoes with a bit of empathy.

Not everyone’s as sharp as you, and that’s okay. Picture it like they’re working with a bit of a handicap—they may not have had the same opportunities in life as you. This mindset helps you respond with kindness, not anger or snark.

Put yourself in their position: imagine you’re in Sicily, trying out a beginner’s cooking class with zero kitchen skills. Even with your smarts, you’re struggling with basics like chopping veggies and frying herbs in olive oil. It’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? You’d want your expert teacher to be understanding and cut you some slack as you learn the ropes.

Always consider the self-esteem of individuals who may not be as intellectually sharp as you when engaging with them. Nobody enjoys feeling unintelligent, especially when it’s implied or expressed by you.

If someone messes up or says something silly, offer reassurance with a casual “Hey, we all goof up sometimes. No worries!” If you have a better idea, gently suggest, “I’m not sure if this will work, but what do you think about trying something else?”

Remember what Dale Carnegie said in his classic How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936): making people feel good about themselves keeps things positive. And you’ll leave your interaction with a sense of satisfaction knowing that you’ve handled the situation with compassion and integrity.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Living the Good Life, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Conflict, Getting Along, Likeability, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Relationships, Social Skills, Wisdom

Equip for Victory: Prebriefing Builds Strategic Readiness

May 23, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Equip for Victory: Prebriefing Builds Strategic Readiness When military leaders are prepared for a mission or operation, they’re furnished with key information and discussion topics in advance. This prebriefing ensures thorough familiarity with mission details, objectives, and potential challenges, ensuring they’re well-informed and able to effectively lead their teams during the operation.

When you’re setting up big delegations or missions and all folks might not know what’s really going on, organize an orientation session and conduct a pre-briefing. Craft comprehensive talking points encompassing delegation objectives, stakeholders, ground realities, challenges, and desired outcomes. Offer requisite background information and context, including historical or cultural nuances, potential sensitivities, contentious areas, or strategic imperatives influencing discussions.

Idea for Impact: Pre-briefing equips teams to advocate effectively and fosters accountability, minimizing surprises and enabling effective handling of contingencies.

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Filed Under: Business Stories, Effective Communication, Leading Teams, Mental Models Tagged With: Conflict, Leadership, Meetings, Mental Models, Presentations, Teams

Beware of Narcissists’ Reality Twists and Guilt Trips

May 16, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Beware Narcissist Guilt Trips: Recognizing Toxic Manipulation One of the tell-tale signs of narcissists is their sneaky manipulation of situations to induce feelings of guilt in romantic partners, family, teammates, and anyone in the inner circle—especially regarding behaviors they perceive as disrespectful or ungrateful.

Guilt serves as a tool for manipulation, enabling narcissists to pull your strings and get what they want. They readily distort reality, causing others to doubt their own actions and emotions. They even refuse to dish out any love or approval until others play by ‘the’ rules.

Watch out for dramatic letdowns, sneaky digs, or affection/approval that comes with strings attached. Safeguard yourself against such manipulation. Don’t let the narcissist erode your confidence in your own feelings and perceptions. Their behavior reflects their own issues, not your personal worth.

Idea for Impact: Set firm boundaries, stick up for yourself, and don’t back down, even if it means refusing further engagement when necessary.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Attitudes, Conflict, Getting Along, Manipulation, Personality, Persuasion

Think Twice Before You Launch That Truth Bomb

May 9, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Think Twice Before You Launch That Truth Bomb You’re that straight talker, no-nonsense type. Sure, some people appreciate that. But let’s be real, in the political circus you’re part of, being the truth bomb dropper might backfire, even if leaders emphatically champion open communication and diverse perspectives. So, before you spill the truth tea, think: is this gonna blow up in your face?

Consider a few things:

  • Does it really need to be said?
  • Does it have to be said by you?
  • Does it have to be said by you right now?

If any of these get a ‘no,’ maybe hold off.

Sure, speaking your mind is commendable, but so is staying in the game without getting knocked out. The stakes change depending on what’s at play and who’s got the power.

Sometimes you gotta go all out, and be the lone voice of disagreement. Other times, you gotta fold, and live to fight another day.

Idea for Impact: Pause before speaking up. Knowing what to say is like science—you’re on point. But knowing when to say it is an art—reading factors that sometimes make no reasonable sense.

Where you must, speak your truth. Where you can, look out for yourself, respect boundaries, dodge drama, and keep relationships intact.

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  5. How to … Deal with Less Intelligent People

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Conflict, Conversations, Emotions, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Social Skills

Embracing Cultural Sensitivity: A Case Study of Akira Kurosawa’s Oscar Speech

May 6, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Consider the acceptance speech delivered by the renowned director Akira Kurosawa when he received the Honorary Award at the 62nd Academy Awards in 1989. This award recognized his lifetime achievements and his significant impact on filmmaking, both in Japan and internationally.

I am very deeply honored to receive such a wonderful prize, but I have to ask whether I really deserve it. I’m a little worried, because I don’t feel that I understand cinema yet. I really don’t feel that I have yet grasped the essence of cinema. Cinema is a marvelous thing, but to grasp its true essence is very, very difficult. But what I promise you is that from now on I will work as hard as I can at making movies and maybe by following this path I will achieve an understanding of the true essence of cinema and earn this award. George [Lucas], Steven [Spielberg]. Thank you.

In the Western world, some may perceive this language as a display of false modesty. It appears that the legendary Kurosawa, whose cinematic genius revolutionized storytelling, downplays his abilities and achievements, seemingly deflecting praise.

Let’s Be Cautious Not to Impose Norms We Call Our Own

While Kurosawa’s speech might come across as insincere or disingenuous, it’s important to consider cultural relativism. Different cultures have varying values, norms, and philosophical perspectives. What might be seen as a positive sentiment in one culture can be perceived differently in another.

Respecting Diversity: Avoiding Imposing Personal Norms As this case study illustrates, the concept of humility in Asian cultures may differ from that in Western cultures. Many Eastern cultures approach humility not merely as an understanding of personal limits, but as a way to let go of the self, understand one’s place in the larger scheme of existence, and connect with a greater reality. (In contrast, Western traditions, for they’re based in Abrahamic traditions, often conceptualize humility as submission to God.) Eastern traditions encourage adopting a particular perspective on life, focusing on understanding the small role one plays in a vast universe, appreciating others, and recognizing their inherent worth. For instance, in Buddhism, one of the elements of the eight-fold path is “right intention,” which involves freeing oneself from selfishness, partly achieved through humble thought.

Idea for Impact: Cultural sensitivity is essential to avoid unintentional offense. Interpreting sentiments and communication within the cultural and philosophical context of the individuals involved is crucial for effective cross-cultural understanding and respect.

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Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Attitudes, Biases, Buddhism, Conflict, Diversity, Ethics, Getting Along, Group Dynamics, Philosophy

Honest Commitments: Saying ‘No’ is Kindness

April 25, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Kindness in Honesty: Saying 'No' with Integrity Saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no,’ even ‘maybe,’ is lying (Note: lying is a specific action; it requires the intent to deceive the other person.)

If you’re uncertain, you can say, “Yeah, maybe; I’ll let you know in a few days.” As opposed to “yes, I can do that” when you don’t know if that’s true.

If you’re inclined to say ‘yes’for conflict avoidance (say, when you think the other person can’t take a ‘no’ well,) you could get better at being assertive.

Sure, there’s the chance that you originally intended to follow through, but things have shifted and you may need to uncommit gracefully. But don’t make a habit of saying ‘yes’ when there’s no decent chance you can keep your commitment; it’s a burden on other people’s energy, time, and space.

Saying ‘no’—clearly and firmly when you know you can’t keep the commitment—is kindness.

Idea for Impact: Don’t say ‘yes’unless you mean ‘yes.’ Say ‘no’ when you don’t want to consent. It’s a kind thing to do. Most people appreciate sincerity and prefer others to mean what they say.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Communication, Conflict, Conversations, Ethics, Likeability, Negotiation, Persuasion

Do Hard Things NOW

April 17, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Confront Challenges Today for a Better Tomorrow Exercising regularly for physical and mental well-being is hard; however, living with health issues and a decreased quality of life later on will be even harder.

Committing to higher education or skill development programs may be hard, but neglecting education and failing to invest in yourself will make career options harder to come by in the future.

Investing wisely and saving money may be hard, but enduring financial struggles or lacking adequate resources for retirement will prove even harder.

Addressing personal issues such as overcoming fears, confronting difficult emotions, or improving relationships may be hard. However, avoiding these challenges and dealing with unresolved conflicts and emotional distress will be even harder.

Do easy things now, and your life may get harder.

Do hard things now, and your life may get easier.

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Anxiety, Conflict, Discipline, Getting Things Done, Happiness, Mindfulness, Wisdom

Keep Politics and Religion Out of the Office

March 28, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Keep Politics and Religion Out of the Office While workplaces often tout their commitment to diversity, there’s an unspoken expectation to assimilate into their prevailing culture and norms. They prefer a subtle balance of assertiveness, neither too outspoken nor too passive, and opinions that gravitate toward the middle ground. Even dress codes enforce this moderate approach, discouraging extremes of formality or informality.

But what if you’re not inclined toward conformity? What if your passions for politics or religion run deep, making it difficult to remain silent in professional settings?

Politics and religion strike at the core of personal identity for many individuals. They evoke strong emotions and convictions. Yet, discussing these subjects in the workplace can be fraught with peril, given their potential to divide.

You can navigate safely by aligning with politically correct viewpoints and avoiding controversial deviations. Occasionally, a mild comment may pass without incident, as long as it doesn’t offend sensibilities. However, remember that the workplace isn’t a platform for proselytizing personal beliefs. It’s crucial to respect boundaries and gracefully shift topics if conversations make others uncomfortable. Handle disagreements diplomatically, refraining from personal attacks. Also, be mindful that decorating your workspace with contentious symbols could alienate colleagues and disrupt harmony.

Idea for Impact: When it comes to hot-button topics like politics or religion, it’s best to keep those thoughts to yourself at work. Strong opinions can really rub people the wrong way and disrupt teamwork or create an uncomfortable atmosphere. Find other ways outside work to dive into what gets you fired up.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conflict, Conversations, Getting Along, Networking, Politics, Relationships, Social Dynamics, Teams

The Likeability Factor: Whose “Do Not Pair” List Includes You?

March 21, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Southwest Airlines Employs Southwest Airlines employs an “Avoidance Bid System,” similar to the “Do Not Pair” systems found at other airlines. This system allows first officers to select up to three captains they prefer not to fly with when scheduling their monthly rosters. The process is straightforward; it involves entering the captain’s employee number without the need to provide a reason for the preference.

If Southwest’s crew scheduling system pairs a first officer with one of their “avoided” captains, the first officer will be reassigned to a different trip. Notably, captains do not have the same privilege to designate first officers they prefer not to fly with.

The Avoidance Bid System gained significant attention after the Southwest Airlines Flight 345 incident in July 2013. This incident involved a Boeing 737-700 aircraft experiencing a nose gear collapse during a hard landing at New York’s LaGuardia Airport. Despite receiving warnings from the first officer to abort the landing, the captain ignored the alerts. Subsequent investigations uncovered that the captain had received numerous grievances from many first officers she had flown with before; in fact, she was on many first officers’ “Do Not Pair” lists.

In professions such as aviation, which depend heavily on standardization and routine procedures, the impact of workplace likability is intriguing to ponder. When management overlooks individuals who struggle to collaborate and adhere to standard procedures, it poses a considerable risk to safe operations. Errant behavior, particularly from those in positions of power, can disrupt team dynamics, sow tension among colleagues, and weaken the efficacy of established protocols.

Idea for Impact: Ever stop and think if your coworkers would slap your name on their “Do Not Pair” list if our company had a system like that? Maybe your skills, experience, or even just your attitude could land you there. Likability is the glue that fortifies professional relationships and unlocks pathways to opportunities.

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Filed Under: Career Development, Leading Teams, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Aviation, Conflict, Conflicts, Getting Along, Leadership Lessons, Likeability, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Personality, Persuasion, Relationships

Spot the Green Flags: They Fuel Relationships

March 19, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Spot the Green Flags: They Fuel Relationships It’s important to keep an eye out for red flags in budding relationships to avoid potential pitfalls—it’s like avoiding potholes on the road. You gotta spot ’em early to keep things smooth sailing.

But don’t get so caught up in red flag hunting that you miss the good signs—they show your relationship is on the right track and has the potential for growth.

Just like red flags, green flags can sometimes be subtle and not immediately obvious. It often takes connecting the dots and seeing the bigger picture to spot them. These signs are the ones that enhance your quality of life, boost your self-esteem, and bring you closer together.

Idea for Impact: Start flagging the good stuff—they indicate a strong foundation for a fulfilling connection.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conflict, Emotions, Getting Along, Likeability, Negotiation, Relationships, Social Skills

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!