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You Need a Personal Cheerleader

June 29, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Many people credit some of their success to others who believed in them and urged them on when their confidence waned.

A personal cheerleader could be a companion, friend, or family member who believes in you, takes an eager interest and encourages you, and helps lift your self-confidence, even if they raise some practical questions.

This cheerleader could indeed be a mirror through which you can see yourself. Somebody who encourages you to process and think through your experiences and reframe mistakes as opportunities to learn. Somebody who can help you notice things you do well, however small.

Idea for Impact: A personal cheerleader is pivotal to a meaningful, resilient life. Curtailing negative self-talk is difficult when you’re trying to build your self-confidence.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. An Underappreciated Way to Improve Team Dynamic
  2. What’s the Best Way to Reconnect with a Mentor?
  3. Office Chitchat Isn’t Necessarily a Time Waster
  4. The Difference between Directive and Non-Directive Coaching
  5. Witty Comebacks and Smart Responses for Nosy People

Filed Under: Career Development, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Coaching, Conversations, Mentoring, Networking, Social Skills

Don’t Manage with Fear

June 16, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The ability to rouse fear has forever been an essential tool of management. Fear can be an effective mobilization tool in the short term. But fear breeds complicity, not commitment.

Instead of fear-based tactics, try soft power. Build trust and gain influence using these methods.

  1. Develop an inspiring vision. Work hard to follow through on implementing that vision and celebrate even little accomplishments along the way.
  2. Communicate expectations. Ask, “How can I help you do your job better?” Follow up. No need to keep everything too close to the vest. You needn’t tell everything you know, but what you say and do has to be true.
  3. Solve problems quickly. Push for results. Set aside some time for review and create options or actions that are apt for your team’s situation. Be tough where you must be, kind where you can be.

Idea for Impact: Don’t take the fear approach with employees. With motivation, fear works—up to a point. Understand how your people view your leadership style and ensure your behavior doesn’t cross the line between pushing them hard and pushing them away.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Difference between Directive and Non-Directive Coaching
  2. Why Your Employees Don’t Trust You—and What to Do About it
  3. Listen and Involve
  4. To Micromanage or Not?
  5. What Knowledge Workers Want Most: Management-by-Exception

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Leading Teams, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Coaching, Feedback, Human Resources, Likeability, Manipulation, Persuasion, Relationships, Workplace

How to Lead Sustainable Change: Vision v Results

June 2, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In the Drucker Foundation’s Leader to Leader (1999,) Harvard Business School professor John Kotter proposes one of my favorite visuals on the essence of noticeable results that bear witness to a leader’s vision of change:

This illustration encapsulates why some organizational change initiatives succeed while others never get off the ground or break down after a while. Kotter observes,

Results and vision can be plotted on a matrix that has four dimensions. Poor results and weak vision spell sure trouble for any organization. Good short-term results with a weak vision satisfy many organizations—for a while. A compelling vision that produces few results usually is abandoned. Only good short-term results with an effective, aligned vision offer a high probability of sustained success.

Idea for Impact: The only way a leader can produce a well-paced, sustainable, and transformational change is by mobilizing the people around her to appreciate the benefits for them in her vision of the desired future. Ongoing results oblige visibility into progress and will catalyze the organization’s commitments.

Read Kotter’s Leading Change (1996,) an influential missive on change management.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Push Employees to Change
  2. A Guide to Your First Management Role // Book Summary of Julie Zhuo’s ‘The Making of a Manager’
  3. Direction + Autonomy = Engagement
  4. Don’t Reward A While Hoping for B
  5. To Inspire, Pay Attention to People: The Hawthorne Effect

Filed Under: Managing People, MBA in a Nutshell Tagged With: Coaching, Discipline, Feedback, Leadership Lessons, Management, Motivation, Performance Management

Direction + Autonomy = Engagement

May 26, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The best way to achieve results as a manager is to give your team clear objectives and then allow them to approach the tasks in whatever manner that makes sense. You can suggest deadlines, schedule check-in appointments, and make yourself available for questions. People tend to take more pride in their work when they aren’t micro-managed. Delegate results when you can and interfere only when you must.

Observe the strengths and weaknesses of each employee and assign tasks based on what will allow each individual to thrive. When employees feel invested in a task, whether because they volunteered for it or because it employs their strengths, they are more likely to take ownership of their work and excel on the project. Have faith in your employees’ ingenuity and give them much latitude in how they do things.

Idea for Impact: Often, the most potent motivator for employees isn’t money—it’s the opportunity to learn, expand responsibilities, contribute and gain appreciation, and be recognized for achievements.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Push Employees to Change
  2. A Guide to Your First Management Role // Book Summary of Julie Zhuo’s ‘The Making of a Manager’
  3. How to Manage Overqualified Employees
  4. Leaders Need to Be Strong and Avoid Instilling Fear
  5. To Inspire, Pay Attention to People: The Hawthorne Effect

Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Coaching, Feedback, Great Manager, Management, Mentoring, Performance Management, Workplace

The Good of Working for a Micromanager

April 18, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

One of the defining qualities of a good manager is a willingness to dig into the details. Effective managers choose to engage differently with different kinds of details. In other words, they are selective micromanagers.

Micromanagement is simply the consequence of a desire to engage with selective details. Sure, some leaders struggle with prioritizing and building trust, even over unimportant details. But it never goes away. It’s part of the package. Some are great micromanagers and some are poor micromanagers.

Working for a micromanager has its challenges; but, often, it’s a blessing in disguise. Be aware of the details your manager cares about. Expect to be micromanaged—but, as part of the process, expect to learn a lot. Selective micromanagers tend to be better at developing talent. Their intimate knowledge of the business and their deep involvement can enable you to learn important information about the business.

Idea for Impact: Think of “micromanagement” as simply an excess of attention that you must manage. It’s a good sign that your boss is interested in your work—it means she cares enough.

But if you are being singled out for micromanagement, it’s time for you to look inward. The degree of micromanagement is inversely proposal to a manager’s trust in your competence. In the fullness of time, if micromanagement doesn’t, consider if your work is of lower quality or quantity without your boss’s watchful eye. Improve how you’re converting your manager’s feedback into learning.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Be Friends with Your Boss
  2. You Can’t Serve Two Masters
  3. No Boss Likes a Surprise—Good or Bad
  4. Good Boss in a Bad Company or Bad Boss in a Good Company?
  5. Tips for Working for a Type-A Boss

Filed Under: Career Development, Managing People Tagged With: Coaching, Getting Along, Great Manager, Managing the Boss, Relationships, Winning on the Job

“Follow Your Passion” Is Terrible Career Advice

April 14, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

The cliché “follow your passion” is easily the worst career advice you could ever give or get.

My guidance: Don’t do something you love. Do something you’re good at, even if it may not be something you’re passionate about.

Contentment isn’t likely to come from figuring out what you love and doing it for your career. Career success really comes from doing what other people will love you—and ‘compensate’ you—for doing.

Idea for Impact: You don’t have to give up your dreams, but pursue them as a hobby. Don’t try to find a perfect job. Find a good, if not a passion-filled, career and find the gratification of pursuing your passions outside of work.

Besides, people don’t really know what reality is like until they’re doing it. Therefore, perhaps a better way to choose what you do be to follow your effort? Be flexible. Have a broad view of what you wish to achieve, and be prepared to compromise on how you make it happen. Enjoy the work that you do, and discover aspects of it you’d enjoy regardless of being paid or not. True career contentment comes from an appreciative boss, helpful coworkers, the opportunity to learn and grow, a reasonable commute, and a middle-class living.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Some Lessons Can Only Be Learned in the School of Life
  2. Risk More, Risk Earlier
  3. From Passion to Pragmatism: An Acceptable, Good Career
  4. Get Started, Passion Comes Later: A Case Study of Chipotle’s Founder, Steve Ells
  5. Before Jumping Ship, Consider This

Filed Under: Career Development, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Career Planning, Coaching, Employee Development, Personal Growth, Pursuits, Role Models, Winning on the Job

What To Do If Your New Hire Is Underperforming

March 22, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

If a recent hire, particularly one brought into the team with high expectations, isn’t delivering, start by asking the following two questions:

  1. Is the employee in an environment that allows her to perform at her best?
  2. Are you clear on what her personal objectives are?

Only after answering both these questions with a ‘yes’ can you move to consider coaching, reassess the employee’s suitability, and examine if you need to terminate the bad hire quickly and cut your losses.

Idea for Impact: Nothing puts wind beneath a manager’s wings more quickly than asking these two questions when dealing with employee underperformance. Ask, don’t guess, how you can accommodate each employee’s strengths and needs and create an environment that works best for each individual.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to creating a positive culture, empowering employees, and tackling performance problems. Each employee faces individual challenges and has her own goals and preferences.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Fire Fast—It’s Heartless to Hang on to Bad Employees
  2. General Electric’s Jack Welch Identifies Four Types of Managers
  3. Why Hiring Self-Leaders is the Best Strategy
  4. Seven Real Reasons Employees Disengage and Leave
  5. Bringing out the Best in People through Positive Reinforcement

Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People Tagged With: Coaching, Conversations, Employee Development, Feedback, Hiring & Firing, Human Resources, Mentoring, Motivation

Nothing Like a Word of Encouragement to Provide a Lift

February 7, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Like many young-and-struggling writers, Stephen King and his wife Tabitha “Tabby” King toiled to make ends meet in their early 20s. They lived in a trailer with two young children. They drove an old, rusty Buick held together by baling wire and duct tape.

Tabby worked second-shift at Dunkin’ Donuts, and Stephen taught English at a private high school. He also moonlighted on odd jobs and worked summers at an industrial laundry to scrape by.

In his time off, Stephen worked hard at building a career as a writer and developed ideas for many novels. He sold short stories to men’s magazines.

One night, when working as a janitor in a school locker room, King struck an idea that eventually became his blockbuster first novel Carrie. It was about an eccentric high schooler who, with newly-discovered telekinetic powers, goes on a killing spree to exact revenge on her bullies.

Carrie almost didn’t make it beyond three pages!

When King started writing Carrie, he wrestled with acute self-doubt. He didn’t yet feel confident in his work’s quality or marketability.

One evening, just three pages into the draft of Carrie, King sat hunched over his desk littered with crumpled up bits of paper and cigarette butts. In frustration, he decided to give up on his idea for the novel. He slammed his fist on the table, hurled the first three pages of his book in a trashcan, and stomped out of the room.

Later that evening, Tabby saw the wrinkled balls of paper in the bin. She pulled them out, shook off the cigarette ashes, smoothed out the wrinkles, and sat down to read them.

When she was done, Tabby told Stephen, “I think you’ve got something here. I really do. You ought to keep it going.”

Tabby’s glimmer of hope surprised Stephen.

Tabby continued, “You can’t write about women. You’re scared of women.” She pledged to support him and offered suggestions on the main character and how she’d think.

Over the next few weeks, Tabby guided her husband through the world of women. She gave him guiding principles on forming the characters and helped him write the now-famous shower scene.

Nine months later, the final draft of Carrie was finished

Carrie became a 25,000-word novella. It was turned down for 30 publishers before Bill Thompson, an editor at Doubleday Publishing, offered King a $2,500 advance to publish the book.

King had gotten rid of his phone to save on expenses, so Thompson sent a telegram that read, “Congrats, kid—the future lies ahead.”

Yet, Carrie only sold 13,000 copies as a hardback. Dispirited, King grudgingly signed a new teaching contract for the 1974 school year.

Soon, Thompson was back with more significant news, “The paperback rights to Carrie went to Signet Books for $400,000 … 200K of it is yours. Congratulations, Stephen.”

As a paperback, Carrie sold over 1 million copies in its first year despite a mixed critical response. It became one of the most popular novels of all time.

Tabby encouraged Stephen King to keep going at that pivotal moment

Tabby’s simple action changed the trajectory of Stephen King’s career. Carrie launched one of the most successful careers in modern American writing. King is now one of the world’s most well-renowned and prolific authors.

King won the 2003 Medal of Distinguished Contribution to American Letters. In his acceptance speech at the National Book Awards Ceremony, King didn’t talk about his success or literary style. He spoke about how Tabby had rescued Carrie from the rubbish and inspired him to keep going:

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable—when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there’s a time when things can go either way. That vulnerable time for me came during 1971 to 1973. If my wife had suggested to me, even with love and kindness and gentleness, that the time had come to put my dreams away and support my family, I would have done that with no complaint. But the thought never crossed her mind. And if you open any edition of Carrie, you’ll read the same dedication: “This is for Tabby, who got me into it—and then bailed me out of it….”

A nudge of encouragement goes a long way!

As with Stephen King, a little boost of encouragement can lift somebody else’s spirits and help them move forward.

Encouragement is about believing in people, particularly when they don’t believe in themselves.

What’s one thing you can do today to boost somebody’s spirits beyond whatever is holding them back? Is there someone who needs you to believe in them today? Someone you can get unstuck today with a bit of nudge of encouragement?

  • Could you offer a sympathetic ear to a colleague in a spell of self-doubt or in a tangle and ask, “How can I help?”
  • Could you talk to a teenager who has suffered a setback, remind her of her virtues, and cheer her up by saying, “you’re a strong, confident person, and I know you’ll get through this.”

Idea for Impact: Everyone needs hope. Look for honest ways to offer even a little nudge of encouragement.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. Get Everything Out of Your Head
  3. How to … Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs
  4. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Anxiety, Attitudes, Coaching, Conversations, Fear, Feedback, Motivation, Personal Growth, Resilience, Wisdom, Worry

Fear of Feedback: Won’t Give, Don’t Ask

January 21, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Most bosses are uncomfortable about evaluating their subordinates. The prospect of delivering bad news makes them uneasy. They fear that employees will react to even the mildest criticism with anger, stalling, or tears. They don’t know what to say. As a result, they often do everything they can to avoid saying anything at all.

Most employees, for their sake, are fearful of uncovering what their bosses really think of them. They don’t want to know how they’re doing because they are afraid they aren’t doing very well. So they don’t ask. They wait to be told.

Idea for Impact: Giving and getting feedback may be difficult, but it won’t get any easier if you wait.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Giving Feedback and Depersonalizing It: Summary of Kim Scott’s ‘Radical Candor’
  2. Never Criticize Little, Trivial Faults
  3. Invite Employees to Contribute Their Wildest Ideas
  4. Eight Ways to Keep Your Star Employees Around
  5. Fire Fast—It’s Heartless to Hang on to Bad Employees

Filed Under: Career Development, Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Coaching, Conversations, Feedback, Great Manager, Leadership, Winning on the Job

An Underappreciated Way to Improve Team Dynamic

December 18, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Reverse mentoring (the youngest and brightest teaching the oldest and experienced) has obvious symbiotic benefits for the mentor and mentee. The approach can also stimulate compelling results for the core organization and help mobilize nontraditional teams.

Reverse mentoring flips the hierarchy. It helps senior employees avoid the “ivory tower syndrome,” which happens when they become so out of touch that they can no longer relate to the juniors’ day-to-day struggles. The fresh perspectives on how the young think and work can benefit their more established colleagues.

Reverse mentoring builds up the junior employees’ sense of belonging. When included in the decision-making process, they’re comfortable expressing their views.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. You Need a Personal Cheerleader
  2. Don’t Underestimate Others’ Willingness to Help
  3. A Guide to Your First Management Role // Book Summary of Julie Zhuo’s ‘The Making of a Manager’
  4. What’s the Best Way to Reconnect with a Mentor?
  5. The Curse of Teamwork: Groupthink

Filed Under: Career Development, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Coaching, Conversations, Mentoring, Networking, Skills for Success, Teams

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!