• Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Buddhism

Begin with Yourself

December 26, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames' by Thich Nhat Hanh (ISBN 1573229377) Self-love is the essential foundation for authentic connections with others. Thich Nhat Hanh‘s book, Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames (2002,) is a poignant reminder that while anger is a completely normal emotion, it must be addressed mindfully to prevent suffering, with healing commencing through an exploration of the roots of one’s anger and the practice of self-compassion.

Without communication, no real understanding can be possible. But be sure that you can communicate with yourself first. If you cannot communicate with yourself, how do you expect to communicate with another person? Love is the same. If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love someone else. If you cannot accept yourself, if you cannot treat yourself with kindness, you cannot do this for another person.

If you don’t love yourself, you can’t really care for anyone else. It’s that simple.

Self-compassion and forgiveness are essential for building deeper connections and enhancing your emotional strength—and genuine peace. By strengthening your bond with yourself, you create a foundation that makes it easier to connect with others. Engaging in this inner work boosts your empathy, allowing you to truly understand and relate to the struggles of those around you.

Idea for Impact: Self-love isn’t just for you; it changes how you interact with the world and lets you support others with real kindness.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  2. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  3. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  4. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be
  5. What the Buddha Taught About Restraining and Dealing with Anger

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Managing People Tagged With: Anger, Attitudes, Buddhism, Emotions, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Suffering, Wisdom

Zen Parable of the Overflowing Teacup: The Power of an Open Mind

December 25, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Beginner's Mind: Zen Parable of the Overflowing Teacup There’s a well-known parable in Zen Buddhism about a teacher and a teacup that goes like this:

A learned professor visited a Zen master, eager to understand Zen. He introduced himself by listing his credentials, academic achievements, and extensive knowledge, hoping to impress the master and prove himself worthy of profound teachings.

In a gesture of hospitality, the master offered the professor tea, pouring fragrant liquid into a small, delicate cup. As the professor began to sip, the master calmly continued pouring, and soon the tea overflowed, spilling onto the table.

The professor exclaimed, “Master! Why are you still pouring? The cup can’t hold any more!”

The Zen master replied calmly, “Your mind is like this cup—already full of your own ideas, overflowing with preconceptions and opinions. If it’s full, there’s no room for new knowledge and wisdom. First, you must empty your cup before you can truly receive the teachings of Zen.

Idea for Impact: Approach learning with an open and receptive mind, willingly letting go of limiting, preconceived notions. Unless you make space for new knowledge, your mind can’t fully absorb deeper wisdom.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  2. Anger Is Often Pointless
  3. I’ll Be Happy When …
  4. Heaven and Hell: A Zen Parable on Self-Awareness
  5. Shrewd Leaders Sometimes Take Liberties with the Truth to Reach Righteous Goals

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Buddhism, Discipline, Getting Along, Parables, Philosophy, Wisdom

Embracing the Inner Demons Without Attachment: The Parable of Milarepa

December 2, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Embracing the Inner Demons Without Attachment: The Parable of Milarepa

The Parable of Milarepa and the Demons, attributed to the 11th-century Tibetan yogi and poet Milarepa (1052–1135,) is a renowned fable from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. It teaches a powerful lesson about inner transformation and the nature of suffering. Here’s a synopsis:

After returning to his cave from collecting firewood, Milarepa finds it swarming with demons. Initially, he confronts them directly, lecturing them on the Dharma and urging them to leave. However, his efforts prove futile, as the demons remain unresponsive. Realizing that resistance is fruitless, Milarepa adopts a different approach—he embraces the demons, inviting them to coexist with him and even offering himself as sustenance. This radical acceptance causes the demons to vanish, revealing their illusory nature. Through this encounter, Milarepa gains insight into the power of non-resistance and compassion in overcoming inner turmoil.

The parable is rich in symbolism, depicting the demons as manifestations of Milarepa’s negative thoughts, struggles, anxieties, and emotions. His attempts to suppress or fight them only strengthen their hold. However, when he treats them with kindness, he recognizes their true nature as projections of his own mind.

By transforming the demons into allies, Milarepa strips them of their power to torment him, causing them to dissolve into light. This tale illustrates the essence of true liberation in Buddhist philosophy: rooted in acceptance, understanding, and compassion for oneself.

Overall, this fable serves as a powerful metaphor for spiritual growth, demonstrating how we can overcome negativity. True freedom arises from acknowledging reality rather than denying it. Mindfulness fosters non-judgmental awareness, while recognizing suffering’s impermanence reduces attachment.

Idea for Impact: Inner transformation begins within; compassion and self-awareness transmute inner demons, leading to wisdom, peace, and freedom from suffering.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  2. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  3. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy
  4. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  5. How to … Embrace the Transience of Emotions

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Anxiety, Attitudes, Buddhism, Emotions, Mindfulness, Resilience, Suffering, Wisdom

How to … Embrace the Transience of Emotions

October 26, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Embrace the Transience of Emotions Buddhism teaches that developing a mindful and compassionate relationship with your emotions means seeing them as temporary states rather than defining parts of who you are. By accepting and acknowledging feelings like anxiety and depression without judgment or attachment, you allow them to come and go naturally.

Sociologist and Buddhist therapist Kamilah Majied writes in Joyfully Just: Black Wisdom and Buddhist Insights for Liberated Living (2024):

It is important to develop friendly relationships with our painful emotions so that we don’t become anxious about feeling anxious or depressed about feeling depressed. If we can welcome feelings as natural states that pass eventually, we can know great peace.

It can also be useful to not identify with a painful feeling, because at the same time you are experiencing it, you are also experiencing other feelings. So instead of saying “I am depressed,” you might say, “I notice some depression moving through me.”

What other feelings are moving through you? Are there any pleasant feelings in there? These kinds of reflective practices can help you balance your awareness and be more connected to the possibilities for peace and joy in each moment.

Idea for Impact: Remember, you’re more than just your feelings—they don’t define who you are. Bearing this in mind, you won’t get overwhelmed by them or let them control your sense of self. This perspective helps you better understand the constant shifts in your experiences.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Embracing the Inner Demons Without Attachment: The Parable of Milarepa
  2. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  5. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Anxiety, Buddhism, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Suffering, Wisdom

Don’t Let Hate Devour You

May 25, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Buddhist Wisdom on the Destructive Force of Harbored Hatred Buddhist philosophy identifies hate (dveṣa) as one of the three poisons (triviṣa,) alongside greed and ignorance, which fuel suffering and impede spiritual progress.

The Dhammapada (vv. 4-5) teaches us that letting hate take over only hurts us in the long run:

Not by hating hatred ceases?
In this world of tooth and claw;?
Love alone from hate releases?
This is Eternal Law.

Hatred, if harbored, engulfs the individual, amplifying suffering without affecting the object of our hatred.

Getting over hate takes some real effort—developing nurturing love, compassion, and equanimity.

  • Cultivate Understanding: Practicing empathy and compassion softens the grip of hatred.
  • Practice Acceptance: Acknowledging that we cannot alter the past or control others’ actions releases resentment.
  • Practice Forgiveness: Letting go of the desire for retribution frees us from the burden of resentment and propels us forward.
  • Set Boundaries: Limiting contact or avoiding triggering situations redirects our energy toward positive pursuits.
  • Create Space: Temporal, physical, emotional, psychological, social, or virtual space offers clarity and facilitates healthier boundaries.

Even small efforts to integrate these teachings can shift your perspective and foster growth, one step at a time.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  2. What the Buddha Taught About Restraining and Dealing with Anger
  3. Begin with Yourself
  4. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  5. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Anger, Buddhism, Emotions, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Relationships, Wisdom

Embracing Cultural Sensitivity: A Case Study of Akira Kurosawa’s Oscar Speech

May 6, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Consider the acceptance speech delivered by the renowned director Akira Kurosawa when he received the Honorary Award at the 62nd Academy Awards in 1989. This award recognized his lifetime achievements and his significant impact on filmmaking, both in Japan and internationally.

I am very deeply honored to receive such a wonderful prize, but I have to ask whether I really deserve it. I’m a little worried, because I don’t feel that I understand cinema yet. I really don’t feel that I have yet grasped the essence of cinema. Cinema is a marvelous thing, but to grasp its true essence is very, very difficult. But what I promise you is that from now on I will work as hard as I can at making movies and maybe by following this path I will achieve an understanding of the true essence of cinema and earn this award. George [Lucas], Steven [Spielberg]. Thank you.

In the Western world, some may perceive this language as a display of false modesty. It appears that the legendary Kurosawa, whose cinematic genius revolutionized storytelling, downplays his abilities and achievements, seemingly deflecting praise.

Let’s Be Cautious Not to Impose Norms We Call Our Own

While Kurosawa’s speech might come across as insincere or disingenuous, it’s important to consider cultural relativism. Different cultures have varying values, norms, and philosophical perspectives. What might be seen as a positive sentiment in one culture can be perceived differently in another.

Respecting Diversity: Avoiding Imposing Personal Norms As this case study illustrates, the concept of humility in Asian cultures may differ from that in Western cultures. Many Eastern cultures approach humility not merely as an understanding of personal limits, but as a way to let go of the self, understand one’s place in the larger scheme of existence, and connect with a greater reality. (In contrast, Western traditions, for they’re based in Abrahamic traditions, often conceptualize humility as submission to God.) Eastern traditions encourage adopting a particular perspective on life, focusing on understanding the small role one plays in a vast universe, appreciating others, and recognizing their inherent worth. For instance, in Buddhism, one of the elements of the eight-fold path is “right intention,” which involves freeing oneself from selfishness, partly achieved through humble thought.

Idea for Impact: Cultural sensitivity is essential to avoid unintentional offense. Interpreting sentiments and communication within the cultural and philosophical context of the individuals involved is crucial for effective cross-cultural understanding and respect.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. There’s Real Danger in Religious Illiteracy
  2. Labeling Damage
  3. Racism and Identity: The Lie of Labeling
  4. Ethics Lessons From Akira Kurosawa’s ‘High and Low’
  5. The Secret to Happiness in Relationships is Lowering Your Expectations

Filed Under: Leading Teams, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Attitudes, Biases, Buddhism, Conflict, Diversity, Ethics, Getting Along, Group Dynamics, Philosophy

Liberating the Mind from Mental Shackles

April 16, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Liberating the Mind from Mental Shackles The core of Buddhist teachings explore the nature of the mind and its tendencies, such as the habit of creating narratives and projections. Chapter 1, verse 1 of the Dhammapada states, “Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If a person speaks or acts with an impure mind, suffering follows him like the wheel that follows the foot of the ox.”

Real happiness, akin to the ancient Greek concept of eudemonia (“good spirit,”) arises from actively freeing oneself from sources of suffering, including hatred, pride, jealousy, and ignorance. This involves actively addressing the challenge of being ensnared by one’s own thoughts. Recognizing that all phenomena, including thoughts, are impermanent and devoid of a permanent self, enables individuals to actively diminish the sway thoughts hold over them.

Idea for Impact: In times when recollections emerge and anxieties seize tightly, endeavor to reassure yourself that you can rise above the stories you create about your past or future. Rather than succumbing to the labyrinth of thoughts, actively cultivate awareness of them. You are not to be defined by the contents of your mind but by the awareness you actively bring to them. Understanding this active distinction liberates you from the shackles of your thoughts.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Embracing the Inner Demons Without Attachment: The Parable of Milarepa
  2. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  3. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  4. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Buddhism, Confidence, Conviction, Mindfulness, Resilience, Suffering, Wisdom

The Buddha Teaches: How to Empower Yourself in the Face of Criticism

November 13, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Buddha Teaches: How to Empower Yourself in the Face of Criticism Within the Theravada Buddhist tradition’s Pali Canon, the Akkosa Sutta teaches the importance of non-reactivity in the face of insults and harsh words. It emphasizes that when someone insults you, you should remain calm and composed, like a mirror that reflects an image without being affected by it.

Akkosa Sutta: Anger Quelled with Patience and Compassion

Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha, achieved widespread renown during his 45-year teaching mission following his enlightenment. His teachings resonated with many, leading to the formation of the monastic Sangha.

The Buddha’s reputation as an unprovokable and serene spiritual teacher quickly spread across the regions he visited.

A man journeyed hundreds of miles with the intent of testing the Buddha’s renowned composure. Upon reaching the Buddha, the man wasted no time in subjecting him to a barrage of criticism, insults, challenges, and deliberate attempts to provoke a reaction.

Remarkably, the Buddha remained unruffled. Instead, he calmly inquired, “May I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” the man responded.

With gentle wisdom, the Buddha asked, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom then does it belong?”

The man pondered and replied, “It belongs to the person who offered it.”

A serene smile graced the Buddha’s face as he said, “That is correct. So if I decline to accept your abuse, does it not then still belong to you?”

In the wake of a thoughtful pause, the man chose to walk away.

Managing External Perceptions with Grace

The Akkosa Sutta emphasizes a fundamental Buddhist principle: Non-Attachment. When confronted with criticism, it’s crucial to distance yourself from the need to defend your self-image or validate your worth. By not allowing the negative words of others to provoke an emotional reaction, you promote inner peace and detachment from external negativity.

When accusations trigger that defensive knot in your stomach, pause and engage in self-reflection. In such moments, there are only two possibilities: either the accusations are valid or false. If they hold truth, anger serves no purpose; it’s wiser to acknowledge the valid points, learn from the experience, and advance in life.

Conversely, if they are false, once again, anger is unnecessary. In this scenario, the responsibility for their emotions lies with the person who made the mistake. While you can’t control the actions of others, you have the power to manage your own reactions.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  2. Begin with Yourself
  3. Who Told You That Everybody Was Going to Like You?
  4. Anger Is Often Pointless
  5. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Living the Good Life, Managing People Tagged With: Anger, Attitudes, Buddhism, Conflict, Emotions, Mindfulness, Parables, Suffering

The Dance of Time, The Art of Presence

November 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'Being Nobody, Going Nowhere' by Ayya Khema (ISBN 086171198X) Within life’s rich tapestry, we often find ourselves caught between two elusive realms—the past and the future. As the celebrated German Buddhist nun Ayya Khema eloquently reminds us in her thought-provoking invitation to embark on a journey of mindfulness, Being Nobody, Going Nowhere: Meditations on the Buddhist Path (1987,) our path is a quest for the present moment.

One of our human absurdities is the fact that we’re constantly thinking about either the future or the past. Those who are young think of the future because they’ve got more of it. Those who are older think more about the past because, for them, there is more of it. But in order to experience life, we have to live each moment. Life has not been happening in the past. That’s memory. Life is not going to happen in the future. That’s planning. The only time we can live is now, this moment, and absurd as it may seem, we’ve got to learn that. As human beings with life spans of sixty, seventy, or eighty years, we have to learn to actually experience living in the present. When we have learned that, we will have eliminated a great many of our problems.

Life is a fleeting current, and it manifests not in the echoes of yesteryears, nor in the dreams of morrows yet to come.

The essence of life, the only fragment of existence we can lay claim to, resides in this very moment—the now.

Let’s embrace this moment fully. Let’s resolve to breathe, to cherish, and to be truly present, for each moment is a precious gem, unique and irreplaceable, for once it slips into the past, it becomes but a memory.

Live each moment.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Is the Point of Life, If Only to Be Forgotten?
  2. Buddhism is Really a Study of the Self
  3. I’ll Be Happy When …
  4. Anger Is Often Pointless
  5. Temper Your Expectations, Avoid Disappointments in Life

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance, Buddhism, Discipline, Emotions, Life Plan, Meaning, Mindfulness, Philosophy

Expanding the Narrative: Servant Leadership beyond Christianity

August 21, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

During the 1970s, Robert Greenleaf, an executive at AT&T, began popularizing a concept that challenged the idea of a heroic leader. He advocated for leaders who embraced humility and empowered their followers to lead.

According to Greenleaf, great leaders see themselves as servants first, and this fundamental understanding sets them apart. He taught, “Servant leadership begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions.”

Interestingly, this notion of “leader as a servant” aligns closely with the principles and teachings found in Christian scriptures, where Jesus Christ is often regarded as the ultimate example of a servant leader. Jesus exemplified humility, compassion, and selflessness in his interactions with others. In the Gospel of Mark, he declared, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45, NIV.)

While Christianity inspires its leaders to emulate the servant leadership model by prioritizing people, valuing service, and fulfilling their role as stewards, it is essential to note that servant leadership is not exclusive to Christianity. The concept can be found in other religious traditions as well. For instance, even the Śvētāmbara Jain Jñātādharmakathāḥ Sūtra (“Stories of Knowledge and Righteousness”) monastic texts contain elements of servant leadership.

In a past life, the monk Megha was an elephant. Frightened by a forest fire, he created a clearing to provide refuge when the fire next hit. He rushed to the clearing with all the other animals during a future fire. At one stage, he lifted his foot to scratch himself, and when he came to put it down again, he saw that a hare had squeezed into the space. So he stood on three legs for the entire duration of the fire — several days — and as a result, he fell over and died. This exceptionally compassionate act resulted in a human rebirth.

The Mahākapi Jātaka relates Buddha-to-be on his Bodhisattva path:

The story runs that the Bodhisattva was born as a monkey, ruler of over 80,000 monkeys. They lived near the Ganges and ate the fruit of a great mango tree. King Brahmadatta of Benares, desiring to possess the mangoes, surrounded the tree with his soldiers to kill the animals, but the Bodhisattva formed a bridge over the stream with his own body and, by this means, enabled the whole tribe to escape into safety.

Devadatta, the jealous and wicked cousin of the Buddha, was one of the monkeys in that life and, thinking it was a good chance to destroy his enemy, jumped on the Bodhisattva’s back and broke his heart.

The king, seeing the good deed of the Bodhisattva and repenting of his own attempt to kill him, tended to him with great care when he was dying and afterward gave him royal obsequies.

Servant leadership goes beyond any specific faith and encompasses a broader philosophy of putting others and organizations before oneself. It emphasizes the importance of valuing and prioritizing the interests and well-being of others. As the apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the Philippians, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV.)

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Shrewd Leaders Sometimes Take Liberties with the Truth to Reach Righteous Goals
  2. Why New Managers Fail to Stop Unethical Behavior Among Subordinates
  3. The Deceptive Power of False Authority: A Case Study of Linus Pauling’s Vitamin C Promotion
  4. Power Inspires Hypocrisy
  5. Why Are There No ‘How to Be a Great Follower’ Classes?

Filed Under: Leadership, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Assertiveness, Buddhism, Getting Along, Humility, Integrity, Leadership, Parables, Persuasion, Role Models

Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Popular Now

Anxiety Assertiveness Attitudes Balance Biases Coaching Conflict Conversations Creativity Critical Thinking Decision-Making Discipline Emotions Entrepreneurs Etiquette Feedback Getting Along Getting Things Done Goals Great Manager Leadership Leadership Lessons Likeability Mental Models Mentoring Mindfulness Motivation Networking Parables Perfectionism Performance Management Persuasion Philosophy Problem Solving Procrastination Relationships Simple Living Social Skills Stress Suffering Thinking Tools Thought Process Time Management Winning on the Job Wisdom

About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

Get Updates

Signup for emails

Subscribe via RSS

Contact Nagesh Belludi

RECOMMENDED BOOK:
India After Gandhi

India After Gandhi: Ramachandra Guha

Historian Ramachandra Guha's chronicle of the political and socio-economic endeavors of post-independence India, and its burgeoning prosperity despite cultural heterogeneity.

Explore

  • Announcements
  • Belief and Spirituality
  • Business Stories
  • Career Development
  • Effective Communication
  • Great Personalities
  • Health and Well-being
  • Ideas and Insights
  • Inspirational Quotations
  • Leadership
  • Leadership Reading
  • Leading Teams
  • Living the Good Life
  • Managing Business Functions
  • Managing People
  • MBA in a Nutshell
  • Mental Models
  • News Analysis
  • Personal Finance
  • Podcasts
  • Project Management
  • Proverbs & Maxims
  • Sharpening Your Skills
  • The Great Innovators

Recently,

  • Did School Turn You Into a Procrastinator?
  • Inspirational Quotations #1101
  • Luck Doesn’t Just Happen
  • The Speed Trap: How Extreme Pressure Stifles Creativity
  • Inspirational Quotations #1100
  • Airline Safety Videos: From Dull Briefings to Dynamic Ad Platforms
  • How Small Talk in Italy Changed My Perspective on Talking to Strangers

Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!