Balance

Bollywood: An Escapism to a Happier Place

May 24, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

On a long plane ride to India recently, I read Desperately Seeking Shah Rukh: India’s Lonely Young Women and the Search for Intimacy and Independence (2021,) economist Shrayana Bhattacharya’s ethnographic examination of legions of the superstar’s female fans.

Bollywood offers a diversion from the humdrum—and a reprieve from life’s many injustices. Female fans idealize Shah Rukh Khan in his portrayal of romantic, sensitive, vulnerable characters who’re utterly devoted to the women they love. But author Bhattacharya uses the escapism that Bollywood provides as a frame to paint a picture of feminism and socioeconomic inequity. Makes for interesting reading.

All forms of entertainment offer pleasant escapism—a balm against life’s slings and arrows. But Bollywood melodramas go a step further. Amid the predictable storylines and emotional dialog is the kind and brave hero—the ones typically played by Shah Rukh Khan—who fights for the affections of a pretty damsel against all adversities and vile thugs. Its heroes embody all the desirable qualities and fill fans’ heads with dreams of romance and resolution that may never come.

Their fantasies are—can I get married and be happy? Can I own a small car and not worry about petrol prices? Life can be very hard in India, so for two hours, I’ll give them real fantasy.

—Shah Rukh Khan, quoted in The Australian 10-Aug-2013

And that isn’t so bad. When everything in the film is so pleasing to the hearts—pretty locales, vibrant colors, rhythmic music, and spirited dancing included—no one cares about the predicable hollowness, cheesy dialogues, and the lousy acting.

Idea for Impact: Escapism from quotidian existence makes the world a more optimistic place, waiting to be filled with its own color and song.

Having What You Want

May 16, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Wanting is different from having.

Wanting is in the future. Having is here; it’s now.

Wanting is based on what could make you happy in the next minute, next week, or next year.

When you don’t let yourself have what you already have, you’re in a trap of your own making. You’re perpetually restless and disengaged. You aren’t present—you’re pursuing a happiness that’s always somewhere else.

Idea for Impact: Don’t be so occupied wanting the next thing that you don’t allow yourself to enjoy what’s in front of you now. You’ll become more content if you look harder for something to be grateful for in the here and now.

What Most People Get Wrong About Focus

May 5, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In Choose Wonder Over Worry (2018) self-help author Amber Rae recalls novelist Elizabeth Gilbert’s interaction with a wise older lady who was helping Gilbert with her struggles as a writer:

Lady: “What are you willing to give up in order to have the life you keep saying you want?”

Gilbert: “You’re right—I need to start saying no to things I don’t want to do.”

Lady: “No, it’s much harder than that. You need to learn to start saying no to things you _do_ want to do, with the recognition that you have only one life, and you don’t have time and energy for everything.”

This anecdote is such a powerful illustration of how saying ‘no’ is so much easier when you’re clear about your priorities.

That’s what focus really is—saying ‘no’ to things you’d like to do so that you can free up your time to focus on the pursuits that truly matter—even tasks you have to do, even if they don’t energize and excite you.

Idea for Impact: Setting boundaries isn’t always easy, but it’s essential to establish an overall sense of well-being. Every ‘no’ is a ‘yes’ to something else.

Don’t find any excuse to say ‘yes’ to what shouldn’t be done.
Don’t find any reason to say ‘no’ to what should be done.

Learning from Bad Managers

April 28, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It’s always nice to have great bosses who’ll teach you many things the easy way. However, you’ll have a boss who’s bad for you at some stage in your career. Bad bosses come in all forms: tyrants, abrasive, unprincipled, insensitive, indecisive, inconsistent, unfair, uncaring, arrogant, insensitive, quick-tempered, manipulative, apathetic, and so on.

If you’re perceptive, you can learn more from these bad examples than you’ll from the great bosses you’ll work for. Remember the axiom: “No one is totally worthless; you can always serve as a bad example.”

When you have a bad boss, ask yourself, what things about this boss will you commit to never doing? Make a list and refer to it occasionally. Avoiding doing these things will help you be a better boss—and be a positive role model for others.

Idea for Impact: Bad bosses can become useful teachers precisely because they provide some of the best lessons in what not to do that you’ll ever be offered. Take it upon yourself to never be like your bad boss.

Why You Can’t Relax on Your Next Vacation

April 23, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Some managers can’t slow down even on vacation. They keep worrying about their work and won’t come back feeling rested and rejuvenated.

If you feel the added guilt of being away, it may be time for you to look inward and reflect upon your ability to delegate. Don’t bring fear of inadequacy with you on vacation.

Sure, most people responsible for delivering big things find it difficult to be away. Feeling out of control is always stressful. Here’s how to make time off as restful as possible:

Schedule 1-hour check-ins every day.
Manage your team’s expectations and make sure everyone knows what matters you want to be bothered about.
Build-in buffers at both ends. Don’t work right until you leave for the airport and don’t get back to work right off the plane. Schedule an extra day off before you depart and another when you return. Dive back in slowly.

Idea for Impact: Time off should be time off. Get the most out of your time off by unplugging completely.

How to Keep Your Brain Fresh and Creative

April 22, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you need to make much progress on a project, you may feel constrained to work on it in one sitting-down.

Don’t.

No one can concentrate on a single task all the time.

Break up your day—and your thought patterns—by regularly engaging in activities that aren’t intellectually taxing.

Plan your distraction. Have a little something to look forward to—a 15-minute break to watch the highlights of last night’s match, for example. Stretch, dance, or get a glass of water. Go for a short walk around your neighborhood.

According to neuroscientist Adam Gazzaley and psychologist Larry Rosen’s The Distracted Mind: Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World (2016,) regular breaks can lower mental fatigue, boost brain function, and keep you on-task for more extended periods. Creativity can flow when your mind wanders, allowing you to synthesize information uniquely.

When you sit back down to resume working, you’ll be emotionally regulated and have your mental resources replenished. This helps you be more creative and get more done.

Idea for Impact: Work in spurts. Set specific times to take recesses and stick to them. Your mind needs a break—a “state change,” in fact—at least every 30-45 minutes to work more effectively.

Deep Work Mode: How to Achieve Profound Focus

April 21, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Venture capitalist Paul Graham’s influential essay “Maker’s Schedule, Manager’s Schedule” (2009) underscores the need for compartmentalizing time.

A specific frame of mind is required to excel in ‘making’ things versus ‘managing’ things. The constant context switching impedes what you’re focusing on.

Graham recommends dividing work into two timetables of time blocks: “Maker Time” necessitates large blocks of dedicated, interruption-free time to work intensely—developing ideas, writing code, generating leads, producing products, or accomplishing projects. “Manager Time” requires shifting from one interaction to another, allowing for many meetings and brief-to-the-point interactions to oversee, direct, or administer.

The contrast is significant because of the different operative mindsets needed. Those engaged in maker time shouldn’t be pulled into meetings at irregular hours; that’ll debase the time blocks they need to move themselves and their teams forward.

Graham’s emphasis on the inconveniences of switching modes is right on: “For someone on the maker’s schedule, having a meeting is like throwing an exception. It doesn’t merely cause you to switch from one task to another; it changes the mode in which you work.”

Idea for Impact: Change the way you schedule your day and get uninterrupted stretches of time to get your most important work done. A bit of variety and change of pace can be good.

Give the Best Hours of The Day to Yourself

April 19, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

What part of the day do you feel your best?

Some feel most energized during the first few hours of the morning. For night owls, evenings are better.

Now, who gets those hours?

Do you fritter away your best hours catching up on work, mindlessly surfing the web, or doing chores around the house?

Try giving that time to yourself instead. Guard that time for sleeping adequately, eating healthy, working out, treating yourself to a favorite dessert, connecting with the people you treasure, engaging in hobbies, and engaging in personal reflection.

Focus on your values and priorities—personal and professional—rather than someone else’s. As the pressure mounts at work and home, self-care activities are often the first to be cut out.

Classify what you need to do, should do, and want to do. Focus on the few things that you must do. And, if you still have time, progress to work you’d like to do.

Idea for Impact: Being in touch with your own feelings and nourishing yourself in every way possible is the ultimate form of self-care. Give the best hours of your day to yourself.

The Best Breathing Exercise for Anxiety

March 17, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Diaphragmatic breathing (also called belly breathing and abdominal breathing) engages the diaphragm—that large, dome-shaped muscle at the base of the lungs, separating the chest cavity from the abdomen.

In Meditation for the Rest of Us (2009,) James Baltzell suggests observing sleeping babies and following their lead: draw air deep through your nose into their lungs, expanding the pulmonary cavity that houses your heart and lungs. The diaphragm moves down and fills your lungs with oxygen. New York-Presbyterian Hospital’s Dr. Chiti Parikh recommends starting out lying down so that the surface beneath can give you feedback on whether you’re breathing back into the back of your body:

Lie on your back, relax your muscles, and place one hand on the chest and the other on the belly. Take long, slow breaths in and out through your nose, and watch your hands as they move. Breathe in for four seconds, and then out for six. Over time, lengthen your exhales. Notice how, with shallow breaths, the chest moves, but with deep breathing, the belly moves too.

Don’t get aggravated as thoughts of worry or anxiety enter the mind. Don’t quell your unquiet mind. Gently acknowledge the thoughts and let your attention slip from them.

Idea for Impact: Learning to breathe deep, focus your attention, and relax is a skill that can help subdue stress and stay calm. Practice this exercise whenever you’re anxious and realize quick, shallow breathing. As with any skill, your ability to anchor your mind in the present moment will improve with practice.

How You Can Make the Most of the Great Resignation

March 14, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The imminent return-to-work stage of the pandemic will spark yet another surge in people reexamining what their careers look like and reprioritizing their work values. My suggestion: Only quit if you have a better work- and life-choice; don’t resign out of empowerment. It’s better to be going toward something instead of going away from something.

Now, then, if you choose not to join the trend, you’ll have to cope with the void left by your coworkers and confront the extra demands. But this situation is a great chance for you to endure the tumult and even flourish. Here’s how.

If you’re swamped with the demands of your job, do a scope creep audit. Examine your original responsibilities and how you’ve picked up more work during the pandemic. Then meet with your boss and politely address the problem you’re facing, “Here’s what I was doing, and here’s how I’ve been allotting my time now. How could we reprioritize? What could we drop or delegate? What additional resources can you give me?” If you think you deserve a salary increase or better conditions, leverage your added value and ask for it. Give your manager a chance to address your issues. Don’t over-negotiate; it’s seldom worth the ill feelings.

Idea for Impact: The Great Resignation is an excellent time to stay at your job and make the most of the void. Recast yourself as an asset to your company amidst this apparent upheaval. With the buoyant jobs market and a heavier workload for those left behind, you may never be in a better negotiating position.

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