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How to … Pop the Filter Bubble

January 23, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

You’re inclined to be drawn toward those who are similar and wary of those who differ. Similarity bias propels you to unwittingly filter out ideas and opinions that diverge from your own.

Expand your view by actively seeking opposing views. Break your routines. Fraternize with considerate, ‘unlike’-minded people. Remain open to alternative interpretations. Ask big “what if” questions and frame things with an exploratory conjecture: ‘what if we did it this way?,’ ‘do we understand the problem?’ or ‘why doesn’t this work better?’

Putting yourself in a learning and questioning mindset will inspire, stimulate, and challenge you to step out of what you know. Decision-making and creativity will soar.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conversations, Conviction, Creativity, Critical Thinking, Social Dynamics

Inspirational Quotations #981

January 22, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

Politeness is the slow poison of collaboration.
—Edwin H. Land (American Inventor)

An enlightened person raises the level of the consciousness of the entire community.
—Phyllis Theroux (American Journalist, Author)

Costs do not exist to be calculated. Costs exist to be reduced.
—Taiichi Ohno (Japanese Manufacturing Engineer)

The key to the behavior of subjects lies not in pent-up anger or aggression, but in the nature of their relationship to authority. They have given themselves to the authority; they see themselves as instruments for the execution of his wishes; once so defined, they are unable to break free.
—Stanley Milgram (American Psychologist)

There is no one envious enough to harm another that is not first a torment to himself.
—Augustine of Hippo (Roman-African Christian Philosopher)

Labor to keep alive that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience.
—George Washington (American Head of State)

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.
—J. B. Priestley (British Novelist, Playwright, Essayist)

Jealousy is not at all low, but it catches us humbled and bowed down, at first sight. For it is the only suffering that we endure without ever becoming used to it.
—Colette (French Novelist, Performer)

Hard to put things right. You don’t often get that chance. Sometimes all you can do is not get caught.
—Donna Tartt (American Novelist)

Stealing isn’t so easy, often it’s hard work, otherwise we’d all be doing it.
—Elfriede Jelinek (Austrian Author)

Rashness is the faithful but unhappy parent of misfortune.
—Thomas Fuller (English Cleric, Historian)

You should look into a mirror: if you look fine, do fine things; if you look ugly, correct by nobility the defect of your nature.
—Bias of Priene (Greek Orator)

When you visualized a man or woman carefully, you could always begin to feel pity—that was a quality God’s image carried with it. When you saw the lines at the corners of the eyes, the shape of the mouth, how the hair grew, it was impossible to hate. Hate was just a failure of imagination.
—Graham Greene (British Novelist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

10 Signs of a Cheating Partner in a Relationship

January 21, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you’re in a relationship and suspect your partner of cheating, you’re not alone. According to one study, approximately 25% of male partners and 15% of female partners cheat in their committed relationships.

Cheating can jeopardize the trust, connection, and closeness you share with your partner. If you think your partner may be unfaithful, here are 10 signs of a cheating partner in a relationship. You can find even more signs on the blog.

10 Guaranteed Signs of Cheating

No one wants to think that their partner is cheating on them, but sadly, it happens to many people. If you’re suspicious and need to know how to tell if your partner is cheating, these 10 guaranteed signs of cheating can help determine the truth of the situation.

  1. Changes in communication: If your partner suddenly starts using their phone more often or takes extra steps to hide the content of their conversations and texts, it could be a sign they’re hiding something.
  2. Changes in appearance: Does your partner seem to have a renewed interest in physical appearance? Are they buying new clothes and showing off a fresh look even when no special event is coming up? Pay attention to these changes.
  3. Decreased intimacy: Has physical affection decreased significantly between you two? Do you find that sex is now scarce or non-existent? This can be one of the tell-tale signs your partner is cheating.
  4. Unusual schedule changes: Is your partner working late more frequently than before without a clear explanation? Or have they started traveling often without you? Changes in routine can be a sign of cheating.
  5. You’re being kept in the dark: Has your partner suddenly taken to hiding their phone or laptop from you? Are they shutting down any conversations that involve details about their day-to-day activities? If so, this could indicate something more is going on.
  6. They’re defensive and secretive: Does your partner seem overly defensive and quickly become guarded when you ask simple questions about their whereabouts? Do they seem determined to keep things private even if it hurts your relationship? This could be one of the signs your spouse is cheating.
  7. Avoiding family and friends: Has your significant other suddenly stopped hanging out with your friends and family? Have they started to avoid events or outings involving both of you? If so, this could signify they’re running away from something in the relationship.
  8. They’re emotionally distant: Has your partner recently become emotionally disconnected from you? Have even simple conversations about day-to-day matters become dull and superficial? This could be a sign that their attention is now devoted elsewhere.
  9. You can’t trust them: Do you find yourself constantly questioning how to tell if your partner is cheating when it comes to their behavior away from you? Or do they seem secretive when asked about their activities while apart from each other? These are red flags that something may be off.
  10. They neglect you: By now, it should be clear that a partner who is cheating will show signs of psychological withdrawal from the relationship. They likely won’t spend as much quality time with you and could make excuses to avoid spending time together altogether.

How to Confront Signs Your Partner Is Cheating

No one wants to discover that their partner has been cheating, but how do you know if they are? It can be difficult to spot the signs of unfaithfulness, but there are steps on how do you know if your partner is cheating you can take

First, you must collect any evidence or insights you may have related to your partner’s behavior. Don’t jump to conclusions until you have documented enough evidence.

Pro-Tip: Hiring a private investigator can be an effective way to know for sure if your partner is cheating. However, if you don’t want to go down that route, there are other methods you can use. Spy apps are a great place to start, as they can reveal hidden conversations or activities on their phone.

Second, confront your partner about the guaranteed signs of cheating and how their behavior has made you feel; be sure to maintain a level voice throughout the conversation.

Lastly, if the accusations prove true, it can be difficult emotionally; allow yourself time to process and ultimately move on from the situation as best as possible.

Conclusion

Cheating is an emotionally charged topic and can be hard to acknowledge; however, if you’re suspicious of your partner’s behavior, it is essential to take the necessary steps to investigate further.

Look for tell-tale signs of a cheating partner in a relationship, such as changes in their routines or behaviors and use spy apps or confront them directly. Even if the accusations prove true, remember to give yourself time to process the situation and move on from it.

Ultimately, trust your gut and notice the clues that may indicate a cheating partner. If something doesn’t feel right in your relationship, chances are there is a reason for it – trust yourself!

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

How to Be Happy, per Cicero

January 19, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Roman statesman and orator Cicero wrote, “A happy life consists in tranquility of mind.” (Fully, “We make blessedness of life depend upon an untroubled mind, and exemption from all duties.”)

As the other stoics did, Cicero claims that happiness relies on the internal—we must ultimately rely on ourselves for happiness. The happiest person is “the one who depends on himself only.”

For the stoics, tranquility is to be found by stopping to stress about things we can’t control—by narrowing our focus, looking inward, and eliminating the many uncontrollable passions.

The Bhagavad Gita (2:64-65; from Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan’s exposition) reiterates that such a mode of conduct characterized by the tranquility of mind is the means of spiritual realization:

A man of disciplined mind, who moves along the objects of the sense, with the senses under control and free from attachment and aversion, he attains purity of spirit. And in the purity of spirit, there is produced for him an end of sorrow; the intelligence of such a man of pure spirit is soon established (in the peace of self.)

Idea for Impact: It’s the state of mind that conceives of whether we’re happy. Therefore, we must strengthen our minds and become fulfilled humans.

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  5. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg McKeown’s ‘Essentialism’

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Happiness, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Stoicism, Wisdom

Serve the ‘Lazy Grapefruit’

January 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

I love grapefruits, but they’re messy. Not quite as messy as eating mangos, though. Peeling a grapefruit also leaves a filmy residue on the hands that doesn’t come off easily, even with soap or hand sanitizer.

A professional chef recently coached me on suprêming a grapefruit. This method is a little time-consuming, but the results—no rind, no pith, no skin, no mess—totally worth it! The chef calls it “Serving the Lazy Grapefruit.”

Now that’s an excellent metaphor.

When you give presentations, especially when you pitch to busy executives, you should serve them the ‘lazy grapefruit.’

Too many presentations are put together like a whole grapefruit—the audience is made to go through the trouble of picking the juiciest fare themselves.

Especially so when you’re presenting to busy executives—they tend to be incredibly impatient and often have little time to weigh options. To present the ‘lazy grapefruit’ is to remove the rind and peel in your presentation from the shell of unnecessary details and then serve the kernel to them in an appealing, easily consumable, least-messy form.

Your audience will relish the clarity provided by anyone who’s made an effort to make the message straightforward.

Boil your message down to the essentials and figure out precisely what they’ll need to know and why it’s important to them, and then lay it out in an orderly and logical manner.

Elevate your presentation. It’s more difficult to make your message simpler, but it’s worth the effort.

Idea for Impact: Do the thinking so your audience doesn’t have to.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Communication, Critical Thinking, Meetings, Persuasion, Presentations, Thought Process

Co-Workation Defeats Work-Life Balance

January 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

There’s a new workplace “wellness” movement, and travel agencies are touting it big-time.

“Workation” or “work on holidays” (WoH) invites employees to lug their work laptops along to their holiday spots, find decent Wi-Fi, and peg away full-time for a few days.

At first glance, untethering from the physical office and conventional business hours seems like a liberating lifestyle perk. But co-workations are a further erosion of work-life balance, and they’re bad for business. Here’s why.

Co-Workations subvert the very purpose of a holiday: to check out, disconnect, and recharge the batteries. Co-Workations means getting work calls at four in the morning if you’re in a different time zone than the rest of your team. Instead of feeling overworked, stressed, and deadline-obsessed at your cubicle, co-workations encourage you to feel overworked, stressed, and deadline-obsessed while lounging in a hammock surrounded by a bunch of people gaudily enjoying themselves by not working.

A practical way to encourage employees to set boundaries between their personal and professional lives is by simply not asking them to work while on vacation. Many people don’t have the self-discipline for the “psychological detachment” that’s indispensable to rest and refresh.

Idea for Impact: Inviting—empowering even—employees to check in on their work responsibilities is a slippery slope. There’s an expectation that they are more generous with their personal time and consent to being badgered on days off. Besides, when senior managers don’t truly take a vacation, they set a cultural precedent for how others should use their time away from their desks.

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance, Mindfulness, Stress, Work-Life, Workplace

Inspirational Quotations #980

January 15, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

There is no week nor day nor hour when tyranny may not enter upon this country, if the people lose their roughness and spirit of defiance.
—Walt Whitman (American Poet)

I used to be afraid I wouldn’t make enough money; now I’m afraid I won’t make enough difference.
—Bob Goff (American Philanthropist)

A high-school teacher, after all, is a person deputized by the rest of us to explain to the young what sort of world they are living in, and to defend, if possible, the part their elders are playing in it.
—Emile Capouya (American Essayist, Critic, Publisher)

If we were to ask the brain how it would like to be treated, whether shaken at a random, irregular rate, or in a rhythmic, harmonious fashion, we can be sure that the brain, or for that matter the whole body, would prefer the latter.
—Itzhak Bentov (Israeli American Scientist)

When we are no longer able to change a situation … we are challenged to change ourselves.
—Viktor Frankl (Austrian Psychiatrist)

Men simply copied the realities of their hearts when they built prisons.
—Richard Wright (American Novelist, Short-Story Writer)

In marriage, a man becomes slack and selfish, and undergoes a fatty degeneration of his moral being.
—Robert Louis Stevenson (Scottish Novelist)

Your mind is like a muscle. The more you use it, the more it grows.
—Carol Dweck (American Psychologist)

Consistency is a virtue for trains: what we want from a philosopher is insights, whether he comes by them consistently or not.
—Stephen Vizinczey (Hungarian-Canadian Writer)

Everywhere that freedom stirs, let tyrants fear.
—George W. Bush (American Head of State)

A man who makes trouble for others is also making trouble for himself.
—Chinua Achebe (Nigerian Novelist, Poet)

Curiosity is the engine of civilization. If I were to elaborate it would be to say read, read, read, and don’t forget to talk to people, really talk, listening with attention and having conversations, on whatever topic, that are an exchange of thoughts. Keep the reading broad, beyond just the professional. This helps to develop one’s sense of perspective in all matters.
—Peter Cundill (Canadian Investor)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

What Every Manager Should Know Why Generation Y Quits

January 12, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Millennials, or the Generation Y or Gen Y cohort, are much better educated. They’re tech-savvy, more achievement-oriented, and better problem-solvers than preceding generations.

Millennials also tend to be restless with their career progression, demanding salary and job flexibility. They’re quick to move on if something better beckons. Millennials aren’t interested in the financial success that inspired the Boomers or the independence that characterizes the Gen Xers, but in personalized career paths.

Employers often gripe that millennials seem entitled and overly ambitious. And even if they’re high-maintenance, they’re hungry and willing to do what it takes to prove themselves.

To prevent Gen Y retention problems, create an environment where they have room to make an impact and give them the autonomy, support, and training to get there.

Idea for Impact: Millennials become disengaged quickly in the workplace—they’re impatient with things that do not lead to learning or advancement. They never stop questioning the status quo; they don’t want to be told they must do their time and wait in line. Give them a way to move up promptly, with fun and challenges along the way.

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Filed Under: Career Development, Managing People Tagged With: Career Planning, Coaching, Employee Development, Feedback, Human Resources, Job Transitions, Mentoring, Performance Management, Personal Growth

Gab May Not Be a Gift at All

January 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Ever met a Garrulous Gary who prattles on long after you’ve spaced out? A Chatty Charlie who blabbers on especially to show how much you know? Or a Curious Corinne who asks too many questions too quickly that you feel interrogated?

Whether in a job interview, a business meeting, or with a romantic partner, being long-winded is a sure turn-off. You’re risking being thought of as self-absorbed and conversationally clueless.

The easiest way to avoid being an over-talker is to speak for no more than one minute without stopping or asking a question. Avoid going off on a new tangent.

Constantly “read the room” to see if people are still interested. If the listener wants to hear more or pursue the conversation further, she can ask. Back off if you sense that questions or more details aren’t welcome. Silence isn’t a bad thing.

If someone appears distant or lost in thought, don’t just move into their personal space and try to break the ice with a “hey.” If necessary, ask for permission, “Hi. Is it okay if I talk to you?” Don’t start talking unless you sense that you’ve created a comfortable opportunity for the other person to respond.

Idea for Impact: Focus on what Mark Twain called “Minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.” Perhaps wise sound bites and deeper, more meaningful conversations are what constitute a true gift to gab?

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conversations, Etiquette, Likeability, Networking, Social Skills

Inspirational Quotations #979

January 8, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

Never expect justice from a vain man; if he has the negative magnanimity not to disparage you, it is the most you can expect.
—Washington Allston (American Artist, Writer)

There is a beauty in discovery. There is mathematics in music, a kinship of science and poetry in the description of nature, and exquisite form in a molecule. Attempts to place different disciplines in different camps are revealed as artificial in the face of the unity of knowledge. All literate men are sustained by the philosopher, the historian, the political analyst, the economist, the scientist, the poet, the artisan and the musician.
—Glenn T. Seaborg (American Chemist)

The dichotomy between selfishness and unselfishness disappears altogether in healthy people because in principle every act is both selfish and unselfish.
—Abraham Maslow (American Psychologist)

Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.
—Margaret Wander Bonanno (American Writer)

Often we have no time for our friends but all the time in the world for our enemies.
—Leon Uris (American Writer)

Nobody’s interested in sweetness and light.
—Hedda Hopper (American Actress, Gossip Columnist)

Since I and other beings both,
In wanting happiness, are equal and alike,
What difference is there to distinguish us,
That I should strive to have my bliss alone?
—Shantideva (Indian Buddhist Scholar)

If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are.
—John W. Gardner (American Activist)

It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you’ve wanted to do so badly. You almost feel like you could fly without the plane.
—Charles Lindbergh (American Aviator, Conservationist)

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox (American Poet, Journalist)

If our senses conveyed the whole truth to us, we would see the Earth as rivers and glaciers of electrons, each speck of dust as a rolling mass of light.
—Paramahansa Yogananda (Indian Hindu Mystic)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!