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Expressing regret or apologizing: A critical component of leadership

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Marshall Goldsmith, one of the world’s leading executive coaches, will release a new book on leadership skills next week. In ‘What Got You Here Won’t Get You There,’ Marshall focuses on interpersonal skills essential to lead people to get ahead in our careers.

In the current issue of the Business Week magazine, Marshall offers previews of two of the twenty critical interpersonal skills he covers in his book: (1) clinging to the past, and, (2) refusing to express regret.

On Refusing To Express Regret

Here are highlights of Marshall’s write-up on apologizing. Read the full article on Business Week magazine’s website.

  • Many of us have difficulty with expressing regret, or apologizing; we think apologizing means we have lost a contest. Refusing to apologize causes as much ill will in the workplace, and at home, as any other interpersonal flaw. [My note: I paraphrased the first sentence.]
  • Apologizing is one of the most powerful and resonant gestures in the human arsenal–almost as powerful as a declaration of love. If love means, “I care about you, and I’m happy about it,” then an apology means, “I hurt you, and I’m sorry about it.” It compels people to move forward into something new and, perhaps, wonderful together.
  • The best thing about apologizing is that it forces everyone to let go of the past. In effect, you are saying: “I can’t change the past. All I can say is I’m sorry for what I did wrong. I’m sorry it hurt you. There’s no excuse and I will try to do better in the future.” That’s tough for even the most cold-hearted to resist.

Making Mistakes is Human Nature

We all err from time to time. Our reaction and follow-up to our errors and missteps reflects greatly on our character. Recognize your slip-ups, express regret and say ‘Sorry.’

Humbly admitting mistakes and apologizing is a critical component of leadership, both in our personal and professional lives. Admission of mistakes and careful distillation of lessons learned, in fact, can strengthen the bond between you and the people around you.

Home Depot Stock Underperformance: Who’s to Blame?

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Home Depot Chairman and CEO Robert Nardelli resigned on Wednesday. Since early 2006, Nardelli had been under a fair amount of criticism from investors primarily for disproportionate compensation and poor performance of Home Depot’s stock [HD].

In May of last year, the New York Times estimated that Nardelli had received compensation worth $245 million during the first five years of heading the company. During this time, Home Depot’s stock had slid some. The stock performance was especially poor when compared to that of Home Depot’s archrival, Lowe’s [LOW].

Is the company management completely at fault for the fact that the share price has gone nowhere in the last six years? After all, during Nardelli’s tenure, Dec-2000 to Jan-2007, Home Depot’s has grown significantly and profit margins have improved. Here are key numbers (2007 data are Wall Street consensus estimates for the financial year ending 31-Jan-2007.)

  • Revenues increased from 45.7 billion to 91.0 billion, an increase of 100%
  • Net income increased from 2.6 billion to 6.2 billion, an increase of 140%
  • Earning per share (EPS) increased from $1.10 to $2.95, an increase of 170%
  • Dividends (per share) increased from $0.16 to $0.90, an increase of 460%

Lesson for Investors: Perspective in Valuation

During the late eighties and nineties, Home Depot grew exponentially under the leadership of its founders. Naturally, its stock was very popular on Wall Street and attracted rich valuations. The Price to Earning ratio (P/E) of the stock was high; so was the PEG ratio (the ratio of P/E to growth rate). Investors ‘bought high’ and ‘sold high’ during this period: they purchased at rich valuations and sold at rich valuations, as with any other growth stock.

Home Depot Stock Underperformance: Who is to Blame?

After Nardelli assumed leadership of the company in December 2000, investors continued to expect richer valuations. In the post-bubble period, Home Depot’s stock lost its sheen; it lost the rich valuations it once attracted. Its P/E ratio was now comparable to that of mature companies. Further, stocks of large, blue chip companies (GE, Intel, Microsoft, Wal-Mart, Citigroup, Pfizer, etc.) went out of favor on Wall Street from year 2001. Despite impressive earnings growths, these companies have suffered from decreased interest in their stocks (see story and chart on Business Week’s cover story and accompanying chart from April 2006.)

Investors often have undue expectations of stock prices of rapid-growth companies and lack perspective on stock valuations as such companies mature.

How to Help People Pursue Conversations after Introducing Them

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Many people have difficulty with starting conversations and engaging in small talk in unfamiliar social situations. They do not have much to say when introduced to new people at parties, meetings or formal gatherings. As a host or fellow-attendee, you can help.

Say you are presenting people to one another. In addition to stating each person’s name, add a snippet of information about a topic of common interest. Do not elaborate. This will help them connect and pursue a conversation.

Here is an example: “Hey Charlie. This is Sarah, my colleague from work. [Pause for pleasantries.] Sarah’s daughter just returned from Spain after a semester of the ‘Study Abroad’ program. Charlie, wasn’t your daughter thinking of enrolling in the program?”

In a future blog article, I will write about the protocol for introducing people to one another in gatherings.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to … Avoid Family Fights About Politics Over the Holidays
  2. Potluck Perfect: The Dos and Don’ts of Etiquette
  3. How to … Deal with Feelings of Social Awkwardness
  4. Don’t Be Interesting—Be Interested!
  5. Drop the Weasel Words, Stop Dodging Responsibility

Leadership and the Tao; Greetings for the New Year

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About 2400 years ago, Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu wrote in his classic Tao Te Ching,

The highest type of ruler is one of whose existence
the people are barely aware.
Next comes one whom they love and praise.
Next comes one whom they fear.
Next comes one whom they despise and defy.

When you are lacking in faith,
Others will be unfaithful to you.

The Sage is self-effacing and scanty of words.
When his task is accomplished and things have been completed,
All the people say, “We ourselves have achieved it!”

Are your people the core of your own leadership model? In the New Year, how will use this ancient wisdom to inspire people around you to grow and contribute? How will you empower them?

Wish you all a bright, prosperous, inspired New Year!

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Confucius on Dealing with People
  2. To Know Is to Contradict: The Power of Nuanced Thinking
  3. There’s Real Danger in Religious Illiteracy
  4. Book Summary of Erich Fromm’s ‘The Art of Loving’
  5. Conscience is A Flawed Compass

Inspirational Quotations #150

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Ideas won’t keep; something must be done about them.
—Alfred North Whitehead (English Mathematician)

There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterward, when you’ve worked on your own corner.
—Aldous Huxley (English Humanist)

I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being an optimist is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward.
—Nelson Mandela (South African Political leader)

The moment one gives a close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world unto itself.
—Henry Miller (American Novelist)

The mere apprehension of a coming evil has put many into a situation of the utmost danger.
—Lucian

One can acquire everything in solitude but character.
—Stendhal (Marie-Henri Beyle) (French Writer)

He who strikes terror in others is himself continually in fear.
—Claudian (Roman Poet)

A goal properly set is halfway reached.
—Zig Ziglar (American Author)

Sure I love Goldie. How could you not love Goldie? Everyone loves Goldie. I love her, and I hope our love will continue, but I don’t want to give an I-love-Goldie-Hawn interview.
—Kurt Russell

Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence.
—Thomas Szasz (Hungarian Psychiatrist)

You do not really know your friends from your enemies until the ice breaks.
—Icelandic Proverb

There is no power on earth that can neutralize the influence of a high, simple and useful life.
—Booker T. Washington (American Educator)

I can tell you, honest friend, what to believe: believe life; it teaches better that book or orator.
—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (German Poet)

Inspirational Quotations #149

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You will find men who want to be carried on the shoulders of others, who think that the world owes them a living. They don’t seem to see that we must all lift together and pull together.
—Henry Ford (American Businessperson)

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
—Mark Twain (American Humorist)

I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can’t be done. If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
—Henry Ford (American Businessperson)

An act of goodness is of itself an act of happiness. No reward coming after the event can compare with the sweet reward that went with it.
—Maurice Maeterlinck (Belgian Playwright)

Your dreams can be realities. They are the stuff that leads us through life toward great happiness.
—Deborah Norville (American Children’s Books Writer)

Willingness to change is a strength, even if it means plunging part of the company into total confusion for a while.
—Jack Welch (American Businessperson)

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.
—Mark Twain (American Humorist)

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
—Mark Twain (American Humorist)

Perhaps there is only one cardinal sin: impatience.
Because of impatience we are driven out of Paradise;
because of impatience we cannot return.
—Franz Kafka (Austrian Novelist)

Inspirational Quotations #148

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The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing.
—Michael E. Gerber

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
—Aristotle (Ancient Greek Philosopher)

I think that our fundamental belief is that for us growth is a way of life and we have to grow at all times.
—Mukesh Ambani (Indian Businessperson)

When many work together for a goal, great things may be accomplished. It is said a lion cub was killed by a single colony of ants.
—Sakya Pandita

I have no regrets. I wouldn’t have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say.
—Ingrid Bergman (Swedish Actor)

Knowledge is light; avarice ice.|Knowledge is water; this world dirt.|A trickle of wisdom appears from beyond|to check the vices of this world.|Should the trickle become abundant,|none would endure, be it virtue or vice.
—Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi (Persian Muslim Mystic)

Pressure makes diamonds.
—George S. Patton (American Military Leader)

There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first … when you learn to live for others, they will live for you.
—Paramahansa Yogananda (Indian Hindu Mystic)

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
—Thomas Szasz (Hungarian Psychiatrist)

Procter and Gamble: One of the world’s best breeding grounds for managers

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Procter and Gamble BrandsA senior colleague at work recently mentioned that Procter and Gamble [PG] recruited his daughter as a management trainee. She would work at the corporate headquarters in downtown Cincinnati, Ohio. He said, “She interviewed at General Electric [GE] and got rejected in the last round of interviews. She was very disappointed; GE was her top choice.”

General Electric’s management practices and vast managerial talent are widely recognized as one of the world’s best. Its leadership development program and the John F. Welch Leadership Center at Crotonville, New York state, receive wide publicity, especially in the print media.

Procter and Gamble is equally well known as one of the best breeding grounds for managers. Its reputation for hiring the best young talent, training them rigorously, and challenging them with opportunities in marketing, product strategy and operations is legendary.

“Many CEOs and top managers in corporate America are Procter and Gamble alumni,” I explained to my colleague that his daughter out to be thrilled she joined Procter and Gamble. “So, she has a chance, haan?” replied my colleague, ending the conversation.

Procter and Gamble Alumni

From memory, I compiled a list of current corporate leaders that, at some point in their careers, worked at Procter and Gamble. Here it is for your reference.

How to Accept Compliments Gracefully

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Consider the following experiences.

  • While disembarking from a private aircraft recently, I complimented the captain on a smooth landing. She waved her hand and replied, “Ah, that was not very smooth. This aircraft-type is new to me. I haven’t yet mastered the controls. I need more practice.”
  • A colleague presented me a book on the Toyota Production System. I had been reading about the history of Toyota and considered this gift a thoughtful gesture. I thanked my colleague. His response, “I found this book on clearance sale at the Border’s outlet store. Just $1.99.”

Many of us have trouble accepting compliments. We have the urge to deflect or downgrade the compliments. We do not realize that our actions draw unwanted attention. We unnecessarily belittle ourselves, as well as the people offering the compliments.

People may consider our “I don’t deserve your compliments” attitudes as signs of personal insecurity or false modesty. By failing to honor the opinions of others, we discourage them from offering affirmative feedback.

Accepting compliments positively demonstrates your self-confidence and leaves positive impressions about you. The next time somebody praises you, acknowledge the compliments enthusiastically. Instead of saying “Oh, it was nothing,” just smile and say, “Thank you. I appreciate your kindness.”

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. How Small Talk in Italy Changed My Perspective on Talking to Strangers
  3. How to Be a Great Conversationalist: Ask for Stories
  4. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond
  5. Is It Ever Too Late to Send a Condolence Card?

Inspirational Quotations #147

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Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy.
—Dale Carnegie (American Author)

The most damaging phrase in the language is: it’s always been done that way.
—Grace Hopper

The horror of the Twentieth Century was the size of each new event, and the paucity of its reverberation.
—Norman Mailer

Never cut what you can untie.
—Joseph Joubert (French Essayist)

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
—John Lubbock

The world turns aside to let any man pass who knows wither he is going.
—David Starr Jordan (American Zoologist)

A rising tide lifts all boats.
—John F. Kennedy (American Head of State)

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.
—Peter Drucker (Austrian-born Management Consultant)

When you are in a state of nonacceptance, it’s difficult to learn. A clenched fist cannot receive a gift, and a clenched psyche grasped tightly against the reality of what must not be accepted cannot easily receive a lesson.
—John-Roger, Peter McWilliams

Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety.
—Plato (Ancient Greek Philosopher)