Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Sharpening Your Skills

[Getting Organized #2] Prepare Tomorrow’s To-Do List as You Wrap-up Today

By 2 Comments

Surveys (see example) predict that 60% of individuals are ‘morning people’—they are at their best during the mornings. Yet, many of them begin their day unorganized. Frequently, they do not have a sense of how they should begin their day–what tasks they should work first thing in the morning. They idle away the most-productive stretch of their days by checking email, talking with colleagues about their weekends or reading news on the internet.

A Solution to Wastefulness

To manage your day wisely, develop the good habit of planning the next day before you end each day.

Each day, before you leave your desk at office or go to bed at home, spend a few minutes to prepare a to-do list for the following day.

  • Review your calendar and make a list of things you can reasonably accomplish during the next day.
  • Try to break more-involved tasks into smaller component tasks.
  • Start each phrase with a verb; for example, “Book tickets for family vacation,” “Call client,” “Send draft of research report to boss.”
  • Collect reference/support material or files for each task and leave them at your desk.

The next day morning, your to-do list serves as a road map for your work. The list helps you orient yourself by making it easier to start your day knowing which tasks you will need to complete during the day. Additionally, your to-do list lets you free yourself from the anxiety of maintaining a list of tasks in your head–your mind is now free to concentrate on other thoughts and deliberations.

Overcome Procrastination: My “10-Minute Dash” Technique to Get a Task Going

By 2 Comments

“He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.”
– Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus)

Procrastination: “Why do now what I can do later“

Simply, procrastination is a choice to delay an action with the intent to act later.

Most of us are prone to procrastination on tasks big and small. Some of our postponement-problems are instigated by fears of incompletion and failure, or, from assuming that the tasks we face are tedious. Often, our procrastination is nothing more than resentment to working on tasks assigned by others.

The “10-Minute Dash” Technique

The next time you face a ‘job’ that appears overwhelming or unpleasant, beat the temptation to postpone action by committing to work on the job for just ten minutes. Follow these four simple steps.

  • Consider the ‘job‘ at hand and break it down. Pick two or three simple component-‘tasks‘. For instance, if you want to clean your study room, your component tasks could be to clean the bookshelf, organize the study-desk, etc.
  • Commit to focus on your chosen tasks for just ten minutes. Use a timer, if necessary. For ten minutes, do nothing but your chosen tasks.
  • Avoid distractions or interruptions. For instance, if you unearth Aunt Stella’s letter while cleaning a bookshelf, continue to clean–you can read her letter later.
  • Do not give up. Two minutes into the ten-minute dash, if you find your chosen task tedious, do not stop. After all, you have just eight more minutes to go.

Beginning a Task Builds Momentum

There are two distinct outcomes of doing a ten-minute dash.

  • Often, at the end of ten minutes of uninterrupted work, you feel good about working towards your goal. It is likely that beginning to work on the job built a momentum; you got absorbed in the tasks. In contrast to your presumption, the job may turn out to be rather easy and pleasant. Continue to work—schedule ten, twenty or thirty more minutes of work.
  • The less likely outcome is that the ten minutes of work reinforced some of your displeasures about the job. Still, your achievement was that, at the very least, you got ten minutes of work done. If you do not wish to continue working on the task, commit to resume your work later. Ask yourself, “When can I start again?”

Concluding Thoughts

One of the easiest techniques to overcoming procrastination is to begin. Quite often, seemingly difficult tasks get easier once you get working on them. In short time, you get into the ‘flow’ and work towards completion.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Avoid the Sunday Night Blues
  2. How to (Finally!) Stop Procrastinating, Just Do It
  3. How to … Make Work Less Boring
  4. The Art of Taking Action: Use The Two Minute “Do-it-Now” Rule
  5. How to Turn Your Procrastination Time into Productive Time

What to Do When You Forget a Person’s Name

By Leave a Comment

Remembering names is an important social skill—mastering this skill can offer a distinct advantage in your professional and personal lives. Previous blog articles discussed a 5R (Resolve, Review, Relate, Repeat, Record) technique to help remember names and a technique to remember names around tables in meetings.

Apologize and Ask

Despite your best efforts, on occasion you may not be able recollect the name of another person, even if you were introduced minutes earlier. In such cases, simply ask, “I am sorry, I forgot your name.” Do not elaborate or try to qualify. Alternately, ask for the person’s business card if appropriate

Another familiar situation is when you run into someone you know–you can remember several details of the person and your prior interactions,–but cannot recall the person’s name. This person may assume that you know his/her name and hence may not self-introduce. You may go through an entire conversation trying to call to mind this person’s name. Simply say, “Forgive me. I remember we met at last year’s sales conference. I can remember everything about you, but, I can’t recall your name. Could you please repeat it for me?”

Introduce a Third Person

Yet another technique is to introduce a third person. Say, at an office holiday party, you fail to remember the name of a colleague. Turn to your colleague and say, “I don’t think you have met my husband, Frank.” Frank and your colleague exchange greetings: “Hi, I am Frank. Nice to meet you.” Your colleague reveals her name: “Hi, I am Isabella David.”

At any rate, avoid embarrassing yourself by using an assumed or a wrong name. Apologize and ask the person to state or confirm his/names.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Flattery Will Get You Nowhere
  2. Office Chitchat Isn’t Necessarily a Time Waster
  3. How to Be a Great Conversationalist: Ask for Stories
  4. How to … Address Over-Apologizing
  5. Etiquette: How to Tell Someone Their Fly is Down?

The Power of Apology

By Leave a Comment

Value of Apology in Customer Service

Southwest Airlines is perhaps one of best-run airlines in the world and a pioneer of the low-cost-carrier model. The company’s culture and focus on customer service are legendary. A recent article on the company’s official blog discusses the value of apologies.

Don’t be afraid to say “I’m sorry.”

People often misunderstand the intent of an apology. It is not an admission of fault. It’s an acknowledgment of a bad experience-no matter what happened. It’s doesn’t mean the Customer is always right-there’s no need to support, tolerate, or reward abusive behavior.

When things don’t go according to plan, an apology provides the opportunity to offer the Customer an assurance that you care about their feelings. An apology lets you reach out to the Customers who are affected by acknowledging the disruption/inconvenience, offering your assistance, providing an explanation, and letting them know you’re working to prevent a repeat performance (if applicable).

If you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s okay to admit that-just don’t speculate and be sure you let the Customer know that you will try to provide them with an answer within a reasonable timeframe.

Call for Action: Learn to Express Regret

In business, social or personal settings, many of us balk at offering apologies, even if we are wrong. We do not realize that a sincere expression of regret is healing: an honest ‘I am sorry’ can soften negative emotions (anger, resentment, etc.) our actions trigger in other people. An apology can restore goodwill and mend relationships.

Here are three steps to an apology.

  1. Take responsibility and acknowledge the impact of your actions. “I realize … I caused …”
  2. Express regret for your actions. “I am sorry.”
  3. Offer a remedy and pledge to change. “I will improve.”

Here is an example. Suppose you promised to watch a movie with your spouse on Valentine’s Day. However, your boss asked you to attend a late-evening teleconference with an international client. You could not go home in good time for the movie. Your spouse is upset. Say, “I realize I am late for the movie. I regret I did not excuse myself from the meeting early. I am sorry. Shall we watch the movie on Friday evening?”

The secret to truthful apologies is to keep your apology-statements straightforward and short. Do not attempt to explain or rationalize your behavior–these just dilute the sincerity of your apology.

Related Articles

Remembering Names at a Meeting

By Leave a Comment

Ever wonder how a waiter/waitress serving an eight-seat table at a restaurant remembers each guest’s food orders? At many restaurants, the order-sheets contain a layout of the table and a letter or number associated with every seat. As each guest orders food, the waiter/waitress writes down the order along with the letter or number associated with that guest’s seat.

At Southwest Airlines, flight attendants go to every seat, ask customers for their choice of beverage, and record the passenger’s choice on a seat-map.

Remembering Names around a Table at a Meeting

Blogger Adam Gurno presents an extension of the two practices listed above for remembering names around a table at a meeting.

  1. Draw a quick map of the table/layout of the meeting. Place yourself on it, to give yourself a reference point.
  2. As people introduce themselves around the table, fill them in. If you feel last names are necessary add those too, but don’t do it at the expense of writing down someone else’s name. You can guess at the last names later. If you miss one, leave it blank and fill it in as soon as you can – if someone else refers to them, etc, etc.
  3. If everyone introduces themselves, try and jot down as much information as possible. If you think that you will run across them later, include information that will help you recognize them down the road.
  4. Refer back to the map during the meeting when you are going to need to speak. This way you will be prepared with a person’s name.

Positive impressions are invaluable. As we discussed in a previous blog article, remembering names is an important social skill—mastering this skill can offer a distinct advantage in networking and building relationships.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Dining Out: Rule of Six
  2. How to … Gracefully Exit a Conversation at a Party
  3. Stop asking, “What do you do for a living?”
  4. Unlock the Power of Communication: Start with the End in Mind!
  5. Ghosting is Rude

General Electric’s Jack Welch Identifies Four Types of Managers

By 5 Comments

Jack Welch's Four Types of Managers

Four Types of Managers

Jack Welch, Chairman and CEO of General Electric from 1981 to 2001, described four categories of managers in General Electric’s year 2000 annual report.

Type 1: shares our values; makes the numbers—sky’s the limit!

Type 2: shares the values; misses the numbers—typically, another chance, or two.

Type 3: doesn’t share the values; doesn’t make the numbers—gone.

Type 4 is the toughest call of all: the manager who doesn’t share the values, but delivers the numbers. This type is the toughest to part with because organizations always want to deliver and to let someone go who gets the job done is yet another unnatural act. But we have to remove these Type 4s because they have the power, by themselves, to destroy the open, informal, trust-based culture we need to win today and tomorrow.

We made our leap forward when we began removing our Type 4 managers and making it clear to the entire company why they were asked to leave—not for the usual “personal reasons” or “to pursue other opportunities,” but for not sharing our values. Until an organization develops the courage to do this, people will never have full confidence that these soft values are truly real.

Live by Corporate Values

Organizations face the challenge of developing and sustaining a culture that is both values-centered and performance-driven. They begin by developing mission and value statements that, in due course, become little more than wall decorations because the organization’s leaders and managers fail to uphold these values.

Nothing hurts morale more than when leaders tolerate employees who deliver results, but exhibit behaviors that are incongruent to values of the company. For instance, an organization that thrives on teamwork will suffer, over the long term, if a manager habitually claims all credit for his team’s accomplishments.

Idea for Impact: Core Values Matter!

As a manager, drive accountability. Hold employees responsible for their behaviors. Reward employees for proper behaviors and publicly discourage behaviors that do not uphold values. Do not make exceptions—exceptions signify your own indifference to the upholding of values.

As an employee, understand that an essential requirement for your success in your organization is your fit. Your behaviors must be congruent with the character and needs of your organization. Even if you are talented, you will not fare well if your behaviors are inconsistent with the values of your organization. Reflect on your behavior. On a regular basis, collect feedback from your managers, peers and employees. Seek change.

Keep the company values front and center in people’s mind.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Seven Real Reasons Employees Disengage and Leave
  2. Fire Fast—It’s Heartless to Hang on to Bad Employees
  3. Eight Ways to Keep Your Star Employees Around
  4. Why Hiring Self-Leaders is the Best Strategy
  5. Don’t Push Employees to Change

Source of Mohandas K. Gandhi’s Quote, ‘You Must be the Change’

By Leave a Comment

Mahatma Gandhi on Change

Today, (30-Jan-08,) is the 60th anniversary of the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi. A few months after India secured her independence from Britain, an extremist shot Gandhi point-blank after a prayer meeting at the Birla House in Delhi. Richard Attenborough’s much-admired motion picture ‘Gandhi’ narrates this event twice: once at the start of the movie illustrating the assassin walking towards Gandhi and a second time at the end of the movie depicting Gandhi walking out from the prayer meeting and facing the assassin.

A Quote, a Fable

One of Mahatma Gandhi’s most popular quotations is, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Here is a widely believed—although unverified—story of the origin of this quotation.

During the 1930s, a young boy had become obsessed with eating sugar. His mother failed to convince him to kick the habit. She decided to take him to Gandhi. The Mahatma (Great Soul) was highly revered across the country—perhaps his instruction could convince her son to cut back on sugar.

At Gandhi’s ashram (hermitage,) the mother recounted her difficulty and requested Gandhi to direct her son. Gandhi deliberated for a minute and replied, “Please come back after a week. I will talk to your son.”

The mother and her son revisited Gandhi the following week. Gandhi smiled at the boy and directed him, “You must stop eating sugar.” The boy admitted, “Forgive me, bapu (father.) I will follow your advice.”

The mother was puzzled. She enquired, “Bapu, you could have asked my son to stop eating sugar when we visited you last week. Why did you ask us to come back this week?” Gandhi answered, “Ben (Sister,) last week, I, too, was eating a lot of sugar. … You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Effective Leaders ‘Walk the Talk’

Consider the following case. Ian joined a financial services company and assumed leadership of a group of analysts. In his first staff meeting, he declared, “Our people are our greatest asset.” He asserted that his primary objective as the manager of the organization was to keep them engaged, motivated and happy.

When one of Ian’s employees returned to work after a three-month maternity leave (she had had her first child,) Ian never enquired her about her child or her experiences. Becoming a mother was the most significant event of her life to date. The day she returned to work, Ian assigned her critical projects and demanded her full attention to these projects. Clearly, Ian’s behavior was incongruent with his stated mission of appreciating his people.

As the above example illustrates, frequently, leaders announce personal and organizational values and goals but fail to act on their words—their behaviors do not match their stated missions. Defining values and goals is often rather easy—conforming and getting others to conform to these initiatives is challenging. Leaders quickly lose their credibility by failing to ‘walk the talk.’

Call for Action

Audit yourself. At home or work, write down your objectives. Reflect on your actions. Analyze your behaviors. Do your actions uphold your objectives? Gather feedback from your people. Ask what you can do to achieve your objectives. Ask how you can walk your talk.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Gandhi on the Doctrine of Ahimsa + Non-Violence in Buddhism
  2. Make ‘Em Thirsty
  3. A Thief’s Trial by Fire
  4. The Emotional Edge: Elevating Your Marketing Messaging
  5. Champion Positives, Sideline Negatives

The Art of Remembering Names

By 4 Comments

The Sweetest Sound in Any Language

Dale Carnegie’s classic, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” is one of the most popular books on people skills. Here is an excerpt of his discussions on the importance of remembering names.

… a person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it – and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.

… one of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining good will was by remembering names and making people feel important – yet how many of us do it?

How Napoléon III Could Remember Names

Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France and nephew of the great Napoleon, boasted that in spite of all his royal duties he could remember the name of every person he met.

His technique? Simple. If he didn’t hear the name distinctly, he said, “So sorry. I didn’t get the name clearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say, “How is it spelled?”

During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried to associate it in his mind with the person’s features, expression and general appearance.

If the person was someone of importance, Napoleon went to even further pains. As soon as His Royal Highness was alone, he wrote the name down on a piece of paper, looked at it, concentrated on it, fixed it securely in his mind, and then tore up the paper. In this way, he gained an eye impression of the name as well as an ear impression.

The 5R Technique for Remembering Names

Here are five simple tips that can help you remember names. For an example, suppose that you attend an informal gathering of professionals from the financial industry; Renuka is one of the attendees.

  1. Resolve to remember. Habitually, you fail to remember names because you do not make a conscious effort at it. When a person states his/her name, by reflex you reply with a “nice to meet you” while your mind is possibly busy judging the person’s appearance or processing some other information. Consequently, your short-term memory registers the person’s name briefly and discards it before long. Commit to pay attention to the person’s name and deposit it in your longer-term memory.
  2. Review. Ask for a spelling of the person’s name. If required, ask the spelling of how the person’s name is pronounced. For instance, Renuka is pronounced Rae-nu-ka—the ‘e’ is pronounced ‘ae’ as in aerospace. Additionally, note that Renuka sounds like Rebecca.
  3. Relate. Associate the person’s name with somebody you may previously know. Suppose that Renuka states she grew up in Hyderabad, India. Then, you recall that your former colleague, Pavan is from the same city too. You can say, “Renuka, my previous project manager, Pavan, is from Hyderabad too. He spoke often of the Museum of Clocks there. His wife had prepared ethnic food for me; it was hot and spicy.”
  4. Repeat. During your conversations, state the person’s name as frequently as appropriate: “Renuka, what are your thoughts,” or,” that is an interesting observation, Renuka,” or, “thank you for your time, Renuka.”
  5. Record. Following your conversation, step aside if possible and record the person’s name along with a few other details to help capture an impression of the person. For instance, record “Renuka. Sounds like Rebecca. Grew up in Hyderabad, India—same city as Pavan. Black-coloured Mercedes Benz Coupe. MBA in finance from Columbia University. Risk analyst at American Express.”

Concluding Thoughts

Dale Carnegie asserts, “A person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Positive impressions are invaluable. Remembering names is an important social skill—mastering this skill can offer a distinct advantage in your business and personal lives. The secret to remembering names is to make an extra effort to review, relate, repeat and record the names and associations of people for easier recall.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to … Address Over-Apologizing
  2. When Someone Misuses Your Gift
  3. Is It Ever Too Late to Send a Condolence Card?
  4. Etiquette: How to Tell Someone Their Fly is Down?
  5. The Small Detail That Keeps a Conversation From Running Dry

Cherish Your Loved Ones

By 1 Comment

Rabindranath Tagore’s ‘My Song’

Rabindranath Tagore was an influential philosopher, visual artist, playwright, novelist, and composer from Bengal, India. Popularly known as Gurudev, he won the 1913 Nobel Prize in Literature.

‘My Song’ is from ‘The Crescent Moon,’ Tagore’s translations into English of a collection of Bengali poetry.

This song of mine will wind its music around you,
my child, like the fond arms of love.

The song of mine will touch your forehead
like a kiss of blessing.

When you are alone it will sit by your side and
whisper in your ear, when you are in the crowd
it will fence you about with aloofness.

My song will be like a pair of wings to your dreams,
it will transport your heart to the verge of the unknown.

It will be like the faithful star overhead
when dark night is over your road.

My song will sit in the pupils of your eyes,
and will carry your sight into the heart of things.

And when my voice is silenced in death,
my song will speak in your living heart.

My Grandma

My grandma, Smt. B. S. Mahadevamma passed away two Saturdays ago, on the 24th of November, eight days before I would have seen her in Bangalore, India. As her first grandchild, I retain very fond memories of her.

Last year December, she had recollected her experiences growing up, discussed her large family and had described change during her lifetime. When I would return this year, I had promised to, among other things, watch her favorite movies with her and take her on an airplane. Frail and old, she was filled with tears as she had come to the door to bid me goodbye. Deep down in my mind, I had wondered if I would see her again. Yet, I had said, “Grandma, I will see you next year.”

Goodbye Grandma; I will miss you!

Call for Action

Cherish your loved ones everyday.

Pick-up the phone and call them. Write to them. Better yet, visit them. Be grateful for the difference they have made in your life.

There may never be a tomorrow.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Seinfeld, Impermanence, Death, Grief, and the Parable of the Mustard Seed
  2. Bereavement and Death
  3. Live as If You Are Already Looking Back on This Moment with Longing
  4. Avoid the Trap of Desperate Talk
  5. Stop Trying to Change People Who Don’t Want to Change

Etiquette: Protocol of Introducing People

By 38 Comments

The purpose of introducing people is to give them an opportunity to know each other. Beyond just stating names of the two parties, the person making the introduction is often obligated to establish an acquaintance and help the two parties initiate a conversation.

The Art of Making Introductions: Four Steps

The basic protocol of introductions calls for introducing the ‘lesser-ranking’ (socially, professionally, by age or seniority) to the ‘higher-ranking’ person. Here are four steps:

  1. First, state the name of the person being introduced to. This is the ‘higher-ranking’ person.
  2. Second, say “I would like to introduce” or, “please meet” or, “this is,” etc.
  3. Third, state the name of the person being introduced. This is the ‘lower-ranking’ person.
  4. Finally, offer some details about each, as appropriate. As I wrote in a previous article, add a snippet of information about a topic of common interest between the two parties. Do not elaborate. This will help them connect and pursue a conversation.

The foremost principle of etiquette for making introductions lies in understanding reverence and respect. Here are some guidelines.

Higher Ranking Person Lower Ranking Person Example: Introduce lower-ranking person to higher-ranking person
An older person A younger person “Grandma, this is my neighbour, John”
A senior professional A junior professional “Mrs. President, this is Mr. Analyst”
A customer A team of employees “Mr. Customer, this is my sales team”
A guest A host “Ms. New Yorker, this is my daughter, Sarah”
A guest from out-of-town A local guest “Mr. Australian, this is my neighbour Janet”
Peer from another company Peer from your company “Mr. IBMer, this is Ms. Edwards”

When introducing people of equal seniority or status, you may introduce either person to the other.

Making Introductions: A Few Examples

  • Introduce a younger person to an older person. “Grandma, please meet Alicia and Carlos, my neighbors.”
  • Introduce a relatively junior professional to a senior professional. “Ms. Director, I would like to introduce Mr. Nakamura, the Chief Product Architect for our software division.”
  • Introduce an employee to a customer. “Mr. Sung, I would like to introduce our plastics engineering team. This is Mark Smith, Jessica Ramos and Liang Zhu. All three participated in last week’s teleconference regarding product definition.”
  • Introduce a host to a guest. “Elaine, I don’t think you have met my daughter, Anna. Anna arranged for all the food at this festival party. Anna, Elaine is my Project Manager.”
  • Introduce a local guest to a guest from out-of-town. “Charlie, this is Debbie. Debbie is my colleague from work. Debbie, Charlie is visiting me from New York. We shared an apartment when we were at Columbia together.”
  • Introduce a peer from your company to a peer from another organization. “Melissa, I would like you to meet Steve, our Systems Engineer. Steve, Melissa Hoffmann is from Marketing. She is our Account Manager for Wal-Mart.”

Gender Distinction

Customarily, a number of people introduce a man to a woman out of respect, regardless of the guidelines presented above.

When introducing a man and a woman at work, consider their positions and seniorities alone. Outside of work, it may be more appropriate to introduce a man to a woman, in contradiction to the above guidelines. Be judicious and sensitive.

Concluding Thoughts

Many people have difficulty introducing people to one another and helping initiate a conversation. With some practice and a sense of social and/or professional ranking, you too can master the art of introduction.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Flattery Will Get You Nowhere
  2. Nobody Wants Your Unsolicited Advice
  3. Silence Speaks Louder in Conversations
  4. How to … Deal with Feelings of Social Awkwardness
  5. Don’t Be Interesting—Be Interested!