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Sharpening Your Skills

How to … Deal with Less Intelligent People

June 10, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to ... Deal with Less Intelligent People Dealing with those whose smarts don’t match yours can quickly grate on your nerves.

When you feel that frustration bubbling up because someone isn’t quite on the same page intellectually, try stepping into their shoes with a bit of empathy.

Not everyone’s as sharp as you, and that’s okay. Picture it like they’re working with a bit of a handicap—they may not have had the same opportunities in life as you. This mindset helps you respond with kindness, not anger or snark.

Put yourself in their position: imagine you’re in Sicily, trying out a beginner’s cooking class with zero kitchen skills. Even with your smarts, you’re struggling with basics like chopping veggies and frying herbs in olive oil. It’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? You’d want your expert teacher to be understanding and cut you some slack as you learn the ropes.

Always consider the self-esteem of individuals who may not be as intellectually sharp as you when engaging with them. Nobody enjoys feeling unintelligent, especially when it’s implied or expressed by you.

If someone messes up or says something silly, offer reassurance with a casual “Hey, we all goof up sometimes. No worries!” If you have a better idea, gently suggest, “I’m not sure if this will work, but what do you think about trying something else?”

Remember what Dale Carnegie said in his classic How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936): making people feel good about themselves keeps things positive. And you’ll leave your interaction with a sense of satisfaction knowing that you’ve handled the situation with compassion and integrity.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Living the Good Life, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Conflict, Getting Along, Likeability, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Relationships, Social Skills, Wisdom

How to … Deal with Feelings of Social Awkwardness

June 6, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Deal with Feelings of Social Awkwardness We’ve all experienced that fish-out-of-water feeling in social situations—it’s universal.

Whether it’s the fear of not fitting in or doubts about meeting social expectations, it happens to the best of us. Some just hide it better!

Here are some tips to navigate those awkward vibes:

  • Drop the self-criticism. Practice positive self-talk. No need to feel inadequate or inferior. Remember, these people aren’t the judges of your life!
  • Figure out why you’re feeling this way. Get to the root. Is it a new situation, your introverted nature, past bullying, or just not feeling accepted? Knowing the cause is half the battle.
  • Face those feelings head-on. Acknowledge and embrace your disappointment. Accept yourself, practice small talk, and work on being friendly. You can totally level up these social skills.
  • Start by practicing in easy settings where there’s no pressure to perform your best. Practice in comfort. Like within your trusted circle of friends and family. They’ve got your back and will cheer you on.

Idea for Impact: Overcoming social awkwardness is a gradual process. With time, practice, and a positive mindset, you can build confidence in social situations.

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  2. Avoid Control Talk
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  4. How to Be a Great Conversationalist: Ask for Stories
  5. Buy Yourself Time

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conversations, Etiquette, Likeability, Social Life, Social Skills

Silence Speaks Louder in Conversations

May 27, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Unlocking Conversations: The Power of Silence

During conversations, letting moments of silence linger can be incredibly impactful.

A quiet pause signals that you’re really tuned in, not just to the other’s words, but to all the feelings and subtleties behind them.

It gives others the chance to gather their thoughts, find the right words, or just mull over what they’ve said.

Give the speaker the time and space they need to fully express themselves.

Especially when someone’s opening up about something personal or emotional, silence creates a safe space for them to to lay it all out there.

Get comfortable with silence.

A lull in a conversation can make you uncomfortable. Embrace that discomfort.

An interlude can tempt you to fill it with chatter. Hold back a bit.

You may even get the inclination to “one-up” them by sharing your own past experiences and solutions. Don’t diminish what they’re going through.

Be fully present in the moment.

Make ’em feel like they’re being heard, like their thoughts and feelings matter.

Embrace the quiet. It shows respect for their vulnerability and allows them to experience and explore their emotions without interruptions or judgment.

Idea for Impact: Silence isn’t a vacuum to be filled by noise. Silence can encourage introspection and self-discovery. You’ll be amazed at what people share when given an extra bit of space.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conversations, Etiquette, Getting Along, Likeability, Listening, Social Skills

Boost Your Confidence Quickly: Lift Others

May 24, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Boost Your Confidence: Lift Others Up! Need a confidence pick-me-up? Try lifting someone else’s spirits to boost your own.

Everybody needs hope, sometimes desperately. Just find some honest ways to dish it out. Realistic hope works like magic for the blues.

When you help others feel more sure of themselves, they’ll start seeing you as more assured too, treating you accordingly. That quick shot of purpose and fulfillment reminds you that you’re making a difference. This positive feedback loop just amps up your confidence even more.

Ain’t nothing wrong with doing good for selfish reasons like this.

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  3. How to … Care Less About What Other People Think
  4. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  5. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Altruism, Confidence, Emotions, Kindness, Likeability, Mindfulness, Motivation

The Arrogance of Success

May 22, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Arrogance of Success: Contentment Often Leads to Stagnation Don’t look in the rearview mirror and expect that what led to past success can lead to new success. Human nature is such that we don’t like to contemplate letting go of the skills and behaviors that “got us here.” The arrogance of success is to assume that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow. Contentment often leads to stagnation.

Have a learning mindset. After every win, be critical—even faultfinding—and try to understand what made you successful in each case with brutal self-honesty. Was it luck? Was it skill?

Idea for Impact: Let success be a brilliant teacher in the areas where weaknesses must be addressed.

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Filed Under: Business Stories, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Critical Thinking, Discipline, Innovation, Introspection, Luck, Mental Models, Parables, Thinking Tools, Thought Process, Toyota

Pretotype It: Fail Fast, Learn Faster

May 20, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'The Right It' by Alberto Savoia (ISBN 0062884654) Inundated with promising ideas but craving a quick method to distinguish the gems from the duds? Consider Pretotyping, an idea validation technique, championed by Silicon Valley entrepreneur Alberto Savoia.

Think mockups, landing pages, conjectures, or role-playing. Unlike prototyping, where you build functional or semi-functional versions of your product- or service-idea, pretotyping keeps it cheap and low-fidelity. It’s all about figuring out who your idea’s really for and getting their take on it pronto.

Idea for Impact: Try pretotyping—it’s the quickest way to learn how not-so-good your ideas really are.

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Filed Under: MBA in a Nutshell, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills, The Great Innovators Tagged With: Creativity, Customer Service, Innovation, Problem Solving, Thinking Tools, Thought Process

Think Twice Before You Launch That Truth Bomb

May 9, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Think Twice Before You Launch That Truth Bomb You’re that straight talker, no-nonsense type. Sure, some people appreciate that. But let’s be real, in the political circus you’re part of, being the truth bomb dropper might backfire, even if leaders emphatically champion open communication and diverse perspectives. So, before you spill the truth tea, think: is this gonna blow up in your face?

Consider a few things:

  • Does it really need to be said?
  • Does it have to be said by you?
  • Does it have to be said by you right now?

If any of these get a ‘no,’ maybe hold off.

Sure, speaking your mind is commendable, but so is staying in the game without getting knocked out. The stakes change depending on what’s at play and who’s got the power.

Sometimes you gotta go all out, and be the lone voice of disagreement. Other times, you gotta fold, and live to fight another day.

Idea for Impact: Pause before speaking up. Knowing what to say is like science—you’re on point. But knowing when to say it is an art—reading factors that sometimes make no reasonable sense.

Where you must, speak your truth. Where you can, look out for yourself, respect boundaries, dodge drama, and keep relationships intact.

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  5. How to … Deal with Less Intelligent People

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Conflict, Conversations, Emotions, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Social Skills

The Deceptive Power of False Authority: A Case Study of Linus Pauling’s Vitamin C Promotion

May 2, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment


The Allure of the Famous Word

The Deceptive Power of False Authority: A Case Study of Linus Pauling's Vitamin C Promotion In the 1970s and 1980s, Linus Pauling, the American chemist with not one but two Nobel Prizes to his name, started championing the extraordinary potential of mega-doses of Vitamin C (ascorbic acid) as a wide-ranging panacea—a solution to a myriad of ailments, in fact—from the common cold to cancer and even heart disease.

The world of medicine and science didn’t greet Pauling’s bold claims with open arms. Skepticism abounded, and rightly so. The reason? A scarcity of compelling scientific evidence to bolster his audacious assertions. Leading medical institutions turned a critical eye toward his ideas, raising ethical red flags. They feared that people might be swayed to forgo established medical treatments based solely on the strength of a seemingly authoritative endorsement of Pauling.

This controversy is a classic case in point of a brilliant person daring to traverse the boundaries of his expertise, venturing into unqualified territories. While a handful of studies explored the potential benefits, a universally accepted scientific consensus on the effectiveness of high-dose Vitamin C for these purposes remained frustratingly elusive. And even today, Pauling’s views on Vitamin C’s health benefits continue to spark fierce debates.

Truth Demands a Deeper Call

Make no mistake; Linus Pauling was a luminary in the realm of chemistry, but his credentials didn’t extend to the domain of medicine. This tale serves as a reminder that intelligence and judgment are not always cut from the same cloth. While Pauling’s claims may hold water in the world of chemistry, blindly accepting his assertions on Vitamin C would lead us down a path of fallacy – the “false appeal to authority,” or “Argument from Authority,” also known as “Argumentum ad Verecundiam.”

Celebrity endorsements, expert testimonies, and references to popular figures in non-expert fields can be a deceptive trap for those who unquestionably trust the statements of authorities. The assumption that truth is inherent in the words of a prominent figure, regardless of solid evidence or sound reasoning, undermines critical evaluation and neglects the necessity for substantial support.

Idea for Impact: Brilliance in one arena doesn’t guarantee infallibility across the board. Approach “expert” opinions with a critical eye, assessing them within the context of the evidence and rationale that underpin the argument. In the quest for understanding, always judge each assertion on its own merits. Context matters.

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Filed Under: Great Personalities, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Biases, Critical Thinking, Humility, Integrity, Mindfulness, Parables, Persuasion, Role Models

Honest Commitments: Saying ‘No’ is Kindness

April 25, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Kindness in Honesty: Saying 'No' with Integrity Saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no,’ even ‘maybe,’ is lying (Note: lying is a specific action; it requires the intent to deceive the other person.)

If you’re uncertain, you can say, “Yeah, maybe; I’ll let you know in a few days.” As opposed to “yes, I can do that” when you don’t know if that’s true.

If you’re inclined to say ‘yes’for conflict avoidance (say, when you think the other person can’t take a ‘no’ well,) you could get better at being assertive.

Sure, there’s the chance that you originally intended to follow through, but things have shifted and you may need to uncommit gracefully. But don’t make a habit of saying ‘yes’ when there’s no decent chance you can keep your commitment; it’s a burden on other people’s energy, time, and space.

Saying ‘no’—clearly and firmly when you know you can’t keep the commitment—is kindness.

Idea for Impact: Don’t say ‘yes’unless you mean ‘yes.’ Say ‘no’ when you don’t want to consent. It’s a kind thing to do. Most people appreciate sincerity and prefer others to mean what they say.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Communication, Conflict, Conversations, Ethics, Likeability, Negotiation, Persuasion

The Problem with Self-Help

April 18, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Self-help Glosses Over Human Complexity for Catchy Slogans and Quick Fixes At its core, self-help isn’t a flawed concept, but its portrayal often deserves scrutiny: the self-help culture tends to foster an unrealistic belief in our ability to attain perfection.

Self-help resources, at times, offer nothing more than common-sense wisdom—things we might overlook until someone points them out. However, self-help also has a tendency to oversimplify (“practice gratitude, you’ll attract abundance”) and make grandiose claims (“unleash the unstoppable force within you and achieve greatness beyond your wildest dreams!”) about intricate personal matters, setting the stage for unrealistic hopes and eventual disappointment. As I’ve mentioned before, the value of self-help resources depends on whether their core message aligns with an individual’s current needs and challenges.

And then, self-help assumes we all know exactly what we want and what a perfect life looks like. It often takes for granted that it can effortlessly bridge the gap between our present reality and the ideal life we dream of.

Idea for Impact: While self-help resources can offer valuable insights and motivation for personal growth, it’s crucial to approach them with a discerning mindset.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Books, Discipline, Lifehacks, Motivation, Personal Growth

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!