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Why You Should Make a Daily Appointment with Your Worries

September 25, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Set aside specific 15- to 30-minute appointments on your calendar for focused “Worry Time.”

Make them regular if possible, as in “I’ll worry from 4:00 to 4:30 p.m. every evening.”

If a worry emerges before or after your Worry Time, jot it down and tackle it later.

For the span of your set Worry Time, agonize over whatever is bothering you. Chew on your problems or write them down. Then commit yourself to get back to your routine.

Don’t do this right before bed or first thing in the morning, especially if you tend to wake up with a sense of anxiety over everything that needs to be done.

Ruminating about the past and worrying about the future makes staying in the present moment impossible. It’s mentally and emotionally draining. It interferes with moving forward. Therefore, by using this focused time for worrying, you can get your worries out of the way. Put off any emergent worries until your next scheduled worry session, just as you should ‘do’ emails at set points during the day instead of letting them disrupt your flow.

Limiting your time to worry can also make your Worry Time productive. By having a clear limit to how much time you can spend thinking about an issue, you can push yourself to seek a solution instead of ruminating endlessly.

With some practice, you’ll learn not to let those inevitable anxieties flood your thoughts throughout your day.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Introspection, Mindfulness, Task Management, Worry

The Dark Side of Selfies

September 22, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Selfies are generally acceptable to a certain extent. They provide a means to chronicle oneself and curate the highlights of one’s life, and as humans, we have an innate need to feel acknowledged and seen.

Selfies can be a tool for self-love and expression, allowing individuals to communicate something about themselves and present themselves in a certain way. When taken intentionally, a selfie can give the illusion of control over one’s fleeting identities, which is a natural desire. It’s perfectly fine to create a persona and seek others’ approval, as a healthy self-identity depends on it.

However, when taken too far, the desire to be liked and accepted can quickly become a constant need for validation and status. Self-objectification can cause one to forget that self-identity is primarily based on subjective, biased perceptions of others. Using selfies as the ultimate self-expression can lead to overinflated self-importance and shameless self-promotion.

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Confidence, Conflict, Simple Living, Social Dynamics, Wisdom

Separate the Job of Creating and Improving

September 20, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

You can’t write and edit, engrave and buff, or create and analyze simultaneously. If you try to do so, the editor will hinder the creator’s progress.

Don’t let the evaluator’s biases and entrenched behaviors get in the way of the maker’s creative process. Keep the niggling editor from creeping up during the initial draft.

Idea for Impact: In the early stages, the creator’s mind should be free from any judgment. Revising your way into a cut above is far more effective than trying to conjure brilliance out of thin air.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Discipline, Getting Things Done, Lifehacks, Motivation, Perfectionism, Procrastination

The “Adjacent Possible” Mental Model

September 18, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The “Adjacent Possible” consists of all those ideas that are one step away from what actually exists. One thing leads to another, and when you achieve an adjacent possibile, you may hit upon more adjacent possibles.

So exploring the edges can take you somewhere new that you can’t predefine. The adjacent possible is something that gets continuously shaped and reshaped by your actions and your choices.

Steven Johnson’s Where Good Ideas Come From: The Natural History of Innovation (2010) urges, “The adjacent possible is a kind of shadow future, hovering on the edges of the present state of things, a map of all the ways in which the present can reinvent itself.”

Johnson borrowed the conception from biologist Stuart A. Kauffman’s The Origins of Order: Self-Organization and Selection in Evolution (1993.) This book examines a fundamental law of evolution: how everything has to evolve one step at a time within its realm of possibility, which sits directly adjacent to its current position. Novelty isn’t an abrupt, isolated happening, but rather stem from the voyaging of what is adjacent or related to what already exists.

Idea for Impact: Start at the edge of what works. Then, explore the adjacent possibile space. You may just get to those streams of opportunities that lead to the next big thing.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Change Management, Discipline, Goals, Lifehacks, Problem Solving, Procrastination

How to … Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

September 14, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Your beliefs, rather than your perceived lack of ability, could be the most significant hindrance between your life and the life you want to live. Sadly, self-talk is endless; the more you engage the negative narratives running through your head, the more you’ll abide by them.

Whenever you’re plagued by self-limiting beliefs, gather evidence against them, reframe them, and oppugn them. Scour your brain for real-life examples that debunk the limiting beliefs. For instance, if addressing the self-limiting belief “I am not qualified,” think of as many happenings as possible that you earlier thought you weren’t qualified for—but went on to achieve anyway. These could include being offered a dream job, passing an exam you feared was above your level or showing up when you didn’t think you could.

Idea for Impact: Over time, make a concerted effort to challenge deep-rooted core beliefs by testing them to see if they’re valid. You’ll develop the mental resilience needed to crush the self-limiting beliefs that deter you from reaching your potential.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Attitudes, Emotions, Fear, Mental Models, Motivation, Personal Growth, Worry

Don’t Let the Self-Proclaimed Productivity Pundits Shame You

September 7, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Productivity advice often relies on shame and condescension, presented as tough love or oversimplified “do as I do” remedies. In a shame-based approach, disorder and confusion are viewed as personal failings, leaving individuals solely to blame.

Most people seek coaches to discard or change certain aspects of themselves. The coach’s role is to help individuals recognize and overcome their fear, self-judgment, and embarrassment.

However, shame is not an effective motivator. Effective coaches instead promote self-compassion and encourage individuals to learn about themselves. This allows them to release the constraints and burdens that have hindered their productivity and prevented them from feeling proud of their achievements.

Idea for Impact: Shame undermines emotional well-being and reinforces negative self-perceptions of being ineffective. Instead, appealing to understanding and self-compassion can lead to significant behavioral breakthroughs.

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Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Mindfulness, Motivation, Personal Growth, Resilience, Suffering

You Never Know What’ll Spark Your Imagination (and When)

August 31, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Children find all sorts of unexpected ways to nurture their imagination. With uninhibited curiosity and creativity for fantasy, they can create and connect concepts without inner judgment. What children discover with their active imagination often molds how they see the world and fuels their dreams, as the following cases will illuminate.

Albert Einstein (1879–1955) hardly spoke until he was three. His delayed verbal development made him curious about ordinary things that most grown-ups take for granted—such as the nature of space and time. When he was five and sick in bed, Einstein’s father brought him a contraption that stirred his mind no end. It was the first time he had seen a magnetic compass. Laying in bed, Einstein tried waving and turning the little gadget in vain to trick it into pointing off in a new direction. He later wrote, “A wonder … this experience made a deep and lasting impression upon me. Something deeply hidden had to be behind things.”

Bertrand Russell (1872–1970) was born into a notable aristocratic family. His parents were progressive thinkers and atheists. They chose philosopher John Stuart Mill as Russell’s secular godfather. When Russell’s parents died when he was four, they designated in their will that their progressive friends should look after young Russell and bring him up as an agnostic. But his grandparents intervened, abandoned the parents’ stipulation, and raised Russell and his brother Frank in a strict Christian household. As an adolescent, Russell kept a diary expressing his misgivings about God and concepts of free will. He kept his diary in Greek letters so that his grandparents couldn’t read it. When he went to Cambridge, he bumped into many people who thought the way he did. He actively engaged in debates and discussions. When Russell was eleven, Frank introduced him to the work of Euclid, which Russell described in his autobiography as “one of the great events of my life, as dazzling as first love. I had not imagined there was anything so delicious in the world. From that moment until I was thirty-eight, mathematics was my chief interest and my chief source of happiness.” Russell became the 20th century’s most important agnostic, philosopher, and mathematician.

Ansel Adams (1902–84) had a difficult time in school. An unruly boy, he was hyperactive and dyslexic. He was ousted from several schools. He later wrote, “Education without either meaning or excitement is impossible. I longed for the outdoors, leaving only a small part of my conscious self to pay attention to schoolwork.” His parents eventually gave up and began homeschooling him. When he was 14, they gave him two gifts: a Kodak #1 Box Brownie camera and a trip to Yosemite National Park (the National Parks Service had just been established.) On that family trip, Adams was so captivated by the charm of the mountains and the woods that he would revisit the park every summer for the rest of his life. Adams began experimenting with cameras, solidifying a lifelong connection between his two passions—photography and the natural world. He set the gold standard for art photography in the 20th century. His extraordinary photographs of Yosemite and other wilderness areas became familiar to millions worldwide.

Idea for Impact: You never knew what would spark the imagination. Build your creative muscle. Emphasize effort over the results of creative endeavors and enjoy new experiences. Play. Wander. Rebel. Experiment. Challenge. Indulge. Question. Absorb.

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Filed Under: Business Stories, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills, The Great Innovators Tagged With: Artists, Creativity, Mental Models, Problem Solving, Thinking Tools, Thought Process

Use Friction to Make or Break Habits

August 28, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It’s human nature to rely more on environmental triggers than we think. As a result, you’re more inclined to achieve a goal if you reduce any possible friction—i.e., eliminate obstacles that could make it harder for you to reach your goal.

One powerful method to tweak your environment to change behavior is the “hit the ground running” mindset. For instance, to start a morning exercise habit, reduce the friction of getting dressed for a workout by sleeping in your workout attire. Put your shoes and socks by the bed. On wintry days, set your jacket on the countertop by your keys.

Idea for Impact: Control your environment; change your habits

Don’t depend on trying to stay motivated to change behavior. Motivation can waver from one minute to the next. Reduce any potential friction in getting stuff done.

Equally, increase the friction for things you should avoid—e.g., break a bad habit by making it more inconvenient.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Discipline, Getting Things Done, Goals, Lifehacks, Motivation, Procrastination

Your time is far from being wasted!

August 26, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

You’re not just idly passing the hours. Absolutely not!

Every single moment that has brought you to this point has been a skilled artist, shaping and refining you into the extraordinary individual you are today.

Think of it as a magnificent preparation, a strong base upon which the most incredible experiences will soon unfold.

These moments are like booming speakers turned up to the max, magnifying the brilliance that awaits you.

Don’t worry, because all time spent, even in moments of rest and recovery, is not a futile pursuit. On the contrary, it is an absolute necessity, a secret ingredient that adds flavor to the delightful feast that lies ahead. Embrace the journey.

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Filed Under: Career Development, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Creativity, Fear, Mental Models, Personal Growth, Skills for Success, Thinking Tools, Winning on the Job

Think Before You Commit: Say ‘Yes’ Slowly

August 25, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When presented with a request, avoid hastily agreeing and later regretting it. Instead, use this simple hack to prevent impulsive commitments: slow the conversation by posing questions.

Seek clarification regarding the specifics, time frame, and whether others have been approached. If you can only manage a portion of the task, inquire where your involvement would be most beneficial.

These questions allow you to gather more information and organize your thoughts. They will compel you to reconsider before biting off more than you can chew.

Undoing a default ‘yes’ is considerably more challenging than refraining from giving one initially. Revoking your commitment may result in even greater disappointment for the other person.

Idea for Impact: It’s tempting to say ‘yes’ to every demand imposed upon us by others. However, it is essential to reserve your ‘yes’for the right things. Respond with a deliberate and thoughtful ‘yes.’ Remember, every ‘no’ signifies a ‘yes’to something significant.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Decision-Making, Likeability, Negotiation, Persuasion

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!