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Sharpening Your Skills

What You Most Fear Doing is What You Most Need to Do

March 24, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

What You Most Fear Doing is What You Most Need to Do Sometimes when you’re anxious about things, you tend to push them out of your grasp. Instead of evading from frustrating encounters thus, ask yourself, “What can I do that’ll make me more competent to tackle this problem?”

Don’t postpone the problem. Start with a baby step. A single, small accomplishment may promote new feelings of accomplishment and spark a sense of self-confidence. You’ll be pleased with yourself for taking charge.

When you like yourself better, you’ll begin to get more productive and improve your life in small ways, which can lead to bigger achievements.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  2. How to Face Your Fear and Move Forward
  3. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel
  4. Trying to Be Perfect is Where Your Troubles Begin
  5. Change Your Perfectionist Mindset (And Be Happier!) This Holiday Season

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Discipline, Fear, Mental Models, Personal Growth, Procrastination

Be Open to Being Wrong

March 22, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Be Open to Being Wrong The philosopher and logician Bertrand A. Russell, one of history’s brightest minds, was once asked whether he’d be prepared to die for his beliefs. He replied, “Of course not. After all, I may be wrong.”

Feeling that you’re making more sense than others shouldn’t be the gauge for being accurate about your convictions. Especially when you’re good at arguing, you can take your ideas and judgments in various directions that will mislead you in ways that are more convincing to you than what the other side thinks. Blind spots can spawn certainty quickly.

Idea for Impact: Hold yourself to a higher standard. Turn doubt into a deliberate attitude. Allow your mind to wander in unexpected directions. Be open to other perspectives. Be open to being wrong.

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  4. 3 Ways to … Avoid Overthinking
  5. Group Polarization: Like-Mindedness is Dangerous, Especially with Social Media

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conviction, Critical Thinking, Questioning, Wisdom

The Hidden Influence of Association

March 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Hidden Influence of Association

The “Law” of Association, a maxim popularized by motivational gurus Jack Canfield and Jim Rohn, implies that you’ll become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

This is to say, empirically, everything about you is the average of the five people you hang around most. For instance, your happiness level will be the average of the five of your best mates.

If you want to raise the quality of your life, rub shoulders with people already living the quality of life you aspire to. To become a better communicator, hobnob with great communicators. If you want to be more positive, mix with more optimistic individuals. If you want to be a fabulous parent, spend time with parents who’ve mastered the art.

Birds of a feather flock together … because they share a common vision, and they’re all going in the same direction. So if you’re pursuing a goal, find the people who’ve already attained that goal or are well along the path to achieving that goal. Then be with them, hoping some of their principles rub off on you.

Idea for Impact: In regards to relationships, we’re greatly influenced—whether we like it or not—by those closest to us. Get out there and connect with those whose lives you want to live. Those connections can pay off careerwise and personally.

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Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Getting Along, Networking, Relationships, Social Life, Social Skills

Three Rules That Will Decide If You Should Automate a Task

March 6, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Three Rules That Will Decide If You Should Automate a Task To check if a process or a workstream is a good candidate for being automated, see if it meets all three of these criteria:

  1. The process must be a well-oiled machine. The requirements and outcomes are well established. Is the process stable enough to be automated?
  2. The process doesn’t need someone to engage with it each time. It doesn’t need manual intervention, oversight, excessive customization, or finesse. It runs in the backdrop; it’s boring and doesn’t require ‘higher-order’ thinking. Are there decision points within the process that require human intervention?
  3. The process is time-consuming. By automating it, will you save at least 4x what you’ll invest in automating it?

If the manual process is broken or doesn’t exist, then automating it before it’s a “well-oiled machine” may lead to mistakes and unnecessary rework. Establish success with the manual workflow before attempting to automate it.

Idea for Impact: Picking which processes to automate isn’t easy; yet, the closer you observe the workflow deeply, the sooner you can understand both the happy path to automation and the exceptions.

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Filed Under: Mental Models, Project Management, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Artists, Creativity, Critical Thinking, Mental Models, Problem Solving, Productivity, Thinking Tools, Time Management

First Things First

February 27, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

First Things First---How to Avoid Procrastination Most people have the disposition to work on easy, accessible, or pleasant tasks while putting off tasks that seem tedious or difficult.

Using minor tasks to put the big tasks on the back burner is a particularly deceptive form of procrastination. You pat yourself on the back for checking items off your to-do list, but all you’ve done is deferred the more critical, time-consuming work until the end.

Sure, you need to exercise, check your Facebook wall, run errands, tidy your desk, catch up with a buddy, and plan your next vacation. But don’t use these activities as excuses for not preparing the progress report whose due date is creeping up on you.

'7 Habits of Highly Effective People' by Stephen R. Covey (ISBN 0671708635) One of the self-help guru Stephen Covey’s familiar 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (1989) is the discipline of classifying essential things that need to be prioritized. Habit 3, “put first things first.”

Idea for Impact: Delaying a critical task hardly makes it easier. When tempted to procrastinate, first catch yourself making an excuse. Don’t let the little necessary tasks trivialize the more substantive work.

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  1. How to … Overcome the Tyranny of Your To-Do List
  2. Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus
  3. Change Your Mindset by Taking Action
  4. Get Your Priorities Straight
  5. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg McKeown’s ‘Essentialism’

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Decision-Making, Discipline, Efficiency, Getting Things Done, Goals, Procrastination, Task Management

How to … Stop That Inner Worrywart

February 22, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Stop That Inner Worrywart I’m one of those incessant worrywarts. Risk mitigation is a significant facet of my work. Thus, I worry about the prospect of non-optimal results; I worry about the unintended side effects of my decisions, and I worry about what people aren’t telling me. I even worry that I worry too much (now, that worry is entirely unfounded.)

If, like many people, you’d like to worry less, perhaps you may find the following approaches helpful. Most of my over-worrying comes from thinking ahead, but after a reasonable effort to understand risks and make plans to adapt more flexibly to developing situations, I’ll just let up. I’ll self-talk as though I’m addressing a team, “Not everything is within our control. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Let’s deal with it as it appears and course-correct.” Beyond that, I’ll get really busy with something else that keeps me too occupied to fret about the previous thing that worried me.

Wondering what to read next?

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  4. This Hack Will Help You Think Opportunity Costs: Goals and Anti-Goals
  5. First Things First

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Clutter, Decision-Making, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Risk

Trying to Be Perfect is Where Your Troubles Begin

February 20, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Trying to Be Perfect is Where Your Troubles Begin Fear of failure is one of the insidious confidence killers. Instead of living life in a place of self-acceptance, many folks try to live up to unrealistic ideals. They’re on a continual treadmill, chasing the illusory feeling of urging on everything in their lives to be “perfect.”

When you cling to the all-or-nothing standard, all your endeavors result in perfection or failure. This mindset drives you to see yourself as a disappointment again and again.

Let go of dichotomy. You needn’t be “perfect or failure.” Don’t build yourself up to fail with the unattainable goal of always being perfect. Instead, set goals that are very achievable and within your control. Make your goal just to take action. Not to achieve a perfect outcome, not even to a positive outcome, but just to be done. Completed with a satisfactory result. Checked off.

Idea for Impact: You don’t have to give 110% or even 100% to everything you do. Be very selective about when you want to push yourself to the max—only when the stakes are big enough and when your perfectionism is thoroughly justified.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  2. How to Turn Your Fears into Fuel
  3. How to Face Your Fear and Move Forward
  4. Change Your Perfectionist Mindset (And Be Happier!) This Holiday Season
  5. Just Start

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Confidence, Discipline, Fear, Perfectionism, Procrastination

Why It’s So Hard to Apologize

February 13, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Offering an Apology Can Feel Like a Sign of Weakness

Some people feel that apologizing carries deeper psychological ramifications than their words imply.

Apologizing feels far too vulnerable—too threatening even. Non-apologizers find it challenging to set aside their pride long enough to concede their imperfections. They depend on external validation, and therefore, they need to be seen as correct, strong, and powerful. Admitting they are flawed and fallible is thus something they refuse to do.

Offering an Apology Can Feel Like a Sign of Weakness

In sum, refusing to apologize often echoes a conscious or subconscious effort to protect a fragile sense of self. Apologies require a reasonably robust sense of self-worth, and often non-apologizers feel that regrets for their actions significantly threaten their basic sense of identity and self-esteem. They fear it’d open the floodgates to more vulnerability and blame. They’re pathologically afraid of being wrong.

When a person’s sense of self is threatened, they counter-attack and double down on their position. Other times, a self-preservation instinct will lead people to offer a submission—a calculated, face-saving “non-apology apology” that doesn’t suggest proper accountability.

Other non-apologizers can be oblivious to the effect their actions have on others. They don’t apologize because they are unaware that they have something—anything even—to apologize for. They lack empathy and can’t put themselves in the other person’s place.

Why It's So Hard to Apologize

Idea for Impact: It Takes Strength to Apologize Meaningfully

Learn to work past your fears and resistance to apologizing. Apologizing for the harm you’ve caused and taking responsibility for your mistakes can indeed be a sign of strength.

Effective apologies empathize with the wronged party and address the recipients’ feelings—they don’t need to prove a point. Name what you did wrong, show yourself as regretful, and indicate what might be different in the future.

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  5. Entitlement and Anger Go Together

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Etiquette, Getting Along, Humility, Likeability, Listening

Never Make a Big Decision Without Doing This First

February 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In 1943, General Motors (GM) brought in Peter Drucker to conduct a two-year social-scientific examination of what was then the world’s largest corporation. Drucker conducted many interviews with GM’s corporate leaders, divisional managers, department chiefs, and line workers. He analyzed decision-making and production processes. The resultant landmark study, Concept of the Corporation (1946,) laid the foundations of scientific management as a formal discipline.

Alfred P. Sloan, Jr., who built General Motors into one of the world's largest companies One anecdote that Drucker liked to share from his GM research involved how his client, GM supremo Alfred P. Sloan, Jr., generally encouraged disagreements:

During a meeting in which GM’s top management team was considering a weighty decision, Sloan closed the meeting by asking, “Gentlemen, I take it we are all in complete agreement on the decision here?”

Sloan then waited as each member of the assembled committee nodded in agreement.

Sloan continued, “Then, I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understanding of what this decision is about.”

Concrete Disagreement Stimulates Thought

Strong leaders encourage their team members to challenge them and question consensus. Leaders so counter the tendency toward synthetic harmony that emanates from group thinking and the risk of unchallenged leadership.

A team member with a difference of opinion or contrary position that’s well rooted in rationale is not to be reprimanded. He may have judgments worth listening to or recommendations worth heeding. Every team needs at least one to keep the team from falling into complacency. A team’s culture shouldn’t shun discouragement and conflict.. Look out, though, for team members who merely pay lip service to allow for the counterargument.

There are three reasons why dissent is needed. It first safeguards the decision maker against becoming the prisoner of the organization. Everybody is special pleader, trying—often in perfectly good faith—to obtain the decision he favors. Second, disagreement alone can provide alternatives to decision. And decision without an alternative is desperate gamblers’ throw, no matter how carefully thought through it might be. Above all, disagreement is needed to stimulate the imagination.

Lessons from General Motors: How Conflict Creates Innovative Teams

The Best Leaders Encourage Disagreements

Dissent and disagreement are critical to combat confirmation bias—the human tendency to readily seek and accept ostensible facts that match our existing worldview rather than objectively considering alternative viewpoints and unintended consequences.

'Management Tasks, Responsibilities, Practices' by Peter F. Drucker (ISBN 0887306152) What’s worse, leaders tend to surround themselves with like-minded individuals—people they trust and people who think alike. Drucker later wrote in his wide-ranging treatise on Management: Tasks, Responsibilities, Practices (1974,)

Sloan always emphasized the need to test opinions against facts and the need to make absolutely sure that one did not start out with the conclusion and then look for the facts that would support it. But he knew that the right decision demands adequate disagreement.

An effective decision-maker organizes dissent. This protects him against being taken in by the plausible but false or incomplete. It gives him the alternatives so that he can choose and make a decision, but also ensures that he is not lost in the fog when his decision proves deficient or wrong in execution. And it forces the imagination—his own and that of his associates. Dissent converts the plausible into the right and the right into the good decision.

Idea for Impact: The more you encourage healthy debate within your team, the better off you’ll be

The first rule in decision-making should be that you don’t make any decision unless you’ve sought out and contemplated the counterevidence. Consider the other side of any idea as carefully as your own.

Wise leaders proactively seek the truth they don’t want to find. Encourage authentic dissenting opinions to generate more—and better—solutions to problems.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. Couldn’t We Use a Little More Civility and Respect in Our Conversations?
  3. Confirm Key Decisions in Writing
  4. Cancel Culture has a Condescension Problem
  5. Charlie Munger’s Iron Prescription

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills, The Great Innovators Tagged With: Conflict, Conversations, Critical Thinking, Leadership Lessons, Social Dynamics, Teams

How to … Make Work Less Boring

January 28, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to ... Make Work Less Boring Time passes faster when you divide a big chunk into lots of smaller chunks. So, if you’re on an inescapably boring path, break it into units. And, for each dreaded task, ask yourself, “What’s the most fun way I could do this?” Work at a coffee shop? Listen to your favorite music? Reward yourself upon its completion?

As Mary Poppins pleaded, “In every task that must be done there is an element of fun. You find the fun and snap! The job’s a game.”

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Real Ways to Make New Habits Stick
  2. Five Ways … You Could Stop Procrastinating
  3. Do You Really Need More Willpower?
  4. Zeigarnik Effect: How Incomplete Tasks Trigger Stress [Mental Models]
  5. How to Turn Your Procrastination Time into Productive Time

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Discipline, Lifehacks, Motivation, Procrastination, Stress, Time Management

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!