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Etiquette: Protocol of Introducing People

November 3, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi 38 Comments

The purpose of introducing people is to give them an opportunity to know each other. Beyond just stating names of the two parties, the person making the introduction is often obligated to establish an acquaintance and help the two parties initiate a conversation.

The Art of Making Introductions: Four Steps

The basic protocol of introductions calls for introducing the ‘lesser-ranking’ (socially, professionally, by age or seniority) to the ‘higher-ranking’ person. Here are four steps:

  1. First, state the name of the person being introduced to. This is the ‘higher-ranking’ person.
  2. Second, say “I would like to introduce” or, “please meet” or, “this is,” etc.
  3. Third, state the name of the person being introduced. This is the ‘lower-ranking’ person.
  4. Finally, offer some details about each, as appropriate. As I wrote in a previous article, add a snippet of information about a topic of common interest between the two parties. Do not elaborate. This will help them connect and pursue a conversation.

The foremost principle of etiquette for making introductions lies in understanding reverence and respect. Here are some guidelines.

Higher Ranking Person Lower Ranking Person Example: Introduce lower-ranking person to higher-ranking person
An older person A younger person “Grandma, this is my neighbour, John”
A senior professional A junior professional “Mrs. President, this is Mr. Analyst”
A customer A team of employees “Mr. Customer, this is my sales team”
A guest A host “Ms. New Yorker, this is my daughter, Sarah”
A guest from out-of-town A local guest “Mr. Australian, this is my neighbour Janet”
Peer from another company Peer from your company “Mr. IBMer, this is Ms. Edwards”

When introducing people of equal seniority or status, you may introduce either person to the other.

Making Introductions: A Few Examples

  • Introduce a younger person to an older person. “Grandma, please meet Alicia and Carlos, my neighbors.”
  • Introduce a relatively junior professional to a senior professional. “Ms. Director, I would like to introduce Mr. Nakamura, the Chief Product Architect for our software division.”
  • Introduce an employee to a customer. “Mr. Sung, I would like to introduce our plastics engineering team. This is Mark Smith, Jessica Ramos and Liang Zhu. All three participated in last week’s teleconference regarding product definition.”
  • Introduce a host to a guest. “Elaine, I don’t think you have met my daughter, Anna. Anna arranged for all the food at this festival party. Anna, Elaine is my Project Manager.”
  • Introduce a local guest to a guest from out-of-town. “Charlie, this is Debbie. Debbie is my colleague from work. Debbie, Charlie is visiting me from New York. We shared an apartment when we were at Columbia together.”
  • Introduce a peer from your company to a peer from another organization. “Melissa, I would like you to meet Steve, our Systems Engineer. Steve, Melissa Hoffmann is from Marketing. She is our Account Manager for Wal-Mart.”

Gender Distinction

Customarily, a number of people introduce a man to a woman out of respect, regardless of the guidelines presented above.

When introducing a man and a woman at work, consider their positions and seniorities alone. Outside of work, it may be more appropriate to introduce a man to a woman, in contradiction to the above guidelines. Be judicious and sensitive.

Concluding Thoughts

Many people have difficulty introducing people to one another and helping initiate a conversation. With some practice and a sense of social and/or professional ranking, you too can master the art of introduction.

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Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Etiquette, Social Skills

Delegation: Accountability vs. Responsibility

August 13, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Case Study: Steve Delegates

Consider the following case.

A small company received a complaint from its key customer. The CEO assigned this problem to Steve, the engineering team leader, and asked him to resolve the problem in two days. Steve delegated the problem to Jessica, one of his engineers.

A week later, when the customer complained that the problem was not yet fixed, the CEO asked Steve to explain the delay. Steve responded: “I do not know how to fix the problem. I delegated the task to Jessica. Has she not fixed this problem? It is her responsibility.”

Yet, Steve was Answerable

The above episode reflects poorly on Steve’s managerial skills. Steve failed to recognize that, although Jessica was responsible for fixing the problem, he was accountable for the problem and its resolution. He was answerable to the CEO; his duty was to resolve the problem through Jessica.

The terms ‘responsibility’ and ‘accountability’ are near-synonyms; hence, managers tend to use them interchangeably. The distinction is subtle, nonetheless critical, as highlighted in the following table.

Effective Delegation: Distinguish Accountability from Responsibility

Effective Delegation

A primary shortcoming of many managers, especially new managers, is that they do not give clear assignments—they do not explain a problem adequately and/or fail to enumerate expectations on desired outcome and timeline. After delegating a task, they assume they no longer hold ownership over the task. They thus tend to fault their employees, the ones they delegated tasks to, when a problem arises.

One of the keys to effective delegation is to understand the differences between accountability and responsibility. Understand that you are still in charge of getting a delegated task completed and accomplishing the associated mission. Follow-up frequently and ensure completion.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Delegation

Four Questions for Employee Performance Appraisals

July 22, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Peter Drucker is widely regarded as the “Father of Modern Management,” and one of the most influential management philosophers of the modern era. In “The Effective Executive,” Peter Drucker advocates that a manager focus on an employee’s strengths when appraising his/her performance.

Four Questions for Performance Appraisals

Effective executives usually work out their own unique form of performance appraisal. It starts out with a statement of the major contributions expected from a person in his past and present positions and a record of his performance against these goals. Then it asks four questions:

  1. What has he [or she] done well?
  2. What, therefore, is he likely to be able to do well?
  3. What does he have to learn or to acquire to be able to get the full benefit from his strength?
  4. If I had a son or daughter, would I be willing to have him or her work under this person? If yes, why? If no, why?

Call for Action

Strong performance motivates outstanding performers. Therefore, managers must make it a priority to understand each employee’s motivation and strengths and provide objective, fair and consistent appreciation to keep him/her fully engaged.

Managers, however, often fail to realize the prospect of enhancing employee performance by targeting their efforts on each employee’s strengths. They often resort to deliberating over an employee’s shortcomings, and, thus attempt to develop abilities not inline with the employee’s strengths.

Address the above four questions when preparing the performance appraisal of an employee. These questions enable you, the manager, to reinforce the strengths of the employee and guide a career that focusses on his/her strengths.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Motivation, Performance Management, Peter Drucker

Managerial Skills #2: Offering Retirees a Soft-landing

June 7, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

“Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought.
First tired of working, then tired of not.”
– Richard Armour (American poet)

Retiring is a significant transitional event in one’s life. Retirement is ideally a happy stage of one’s life–an opportunity to relax and lead a peaceful life after decades of hard work. Yet, retirement can be stressful for numerous reasons: not being financially well prepared, failing health, the prospect of not being around people, or, missing work.

Managers can reduce retirement stress by offering retirees a soft-landing. As an alternative to cutting responsibilities abruptly, a prudent manager can allow a near-retiree to work for fewer hours and gradually handover responsibilities to successors. Part-time work can also help near-retirees to discover interests and activities they can retire to.

Consider the flexibility that your organization can allow. Encourage the retiree to contemplate various options you can offer. Do not impose any plan—the retiree will support any arrangement he/she helped establish.

A soft-landing will help retirees brace themselves for the substantial changes in lifestyle following retirement.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Great Manager

On Recruiting from a Competitor

May 31, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In response to my statement on prohibiting current employees from disclosing proprietary information from their former employers, blog reader Alberto from Sao Palo, Brazil, questioned me on the ethics of hiring from a competitor.

Competitors are the principal, sometimes inevitable, source for talent with industry-specific skills and relevant experiences. At first sight, the proposition of hiring from a competitor sounds quite rational: the recruit may be well-trained at the competitor; he/she may be able to jump-start a new venture and establish a customer-network readily. However, depending on the position your recruit held at the competitor, this attempt might be fraught with problems–ethical and legal.

In today’s competitive marketplace for talent, an employee has a fair right to seek employment with competitors of his/her current employer. However, the loss of a key employee and the fear that the former employee may reveal trade secrets to a new employer may lead to contention between the new and former employers. A recent example: the bitter dispute between Google and Microsoft when Google recruited a Microsoft executive to lead Google’s research initiatives in China.

Essential Considerations for Recruiting from a Competitor

Here are three important guidelines to consider when recruiting from a competitor.

  • Take into account the costs of hiring and retaining your new recruit. The recruit is likely to command a premium over his/her benefits with the former employer. Further, if your new recruit will leave a competitor to join your organization, he/she could leave your organization in the future and return to the former employer or transfer to a third organization. What will motivate him/her to continue to stay with your organization on the medium- and long-term?
  • During the recruiting process, understand any non-compete or non-disclosure agreements your recruit may have entered with the former employer. Abide by any such commitments—for the duration of the non-compete or non-disclosure agreements, if possible, assign responsibilities that do not conflict with terms of these contracts. Consult legal experts to weigh any potential risks.
  • If the recruit had held a key position in the competitor, he/she likely has access to proprietary information or trade secrets of your competitor. Do not solicit any proprietary information about the former employer—this is unethical and may expose you to liability.

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Filed Under: Managing Business Functions, Managing People Tagged With: Ethics, Hiring

Ethel Romm on Building Consensus

April 1, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Building Consensus for Decision-making

Ethel Grodzins Romm was the President and CEO of NITON Corporation, a maker of scientific equipment. NITON is currently part of Thermo Fisher Scientific (NYSE: TMO.) Ethel is an accomplished engineer, entrepreneur and author.

Guy Kawasaki features Ethel Romm in his book ‘Hindsights: The Wisdom and Breakthroughs of Remarkable People.’ In her interview for this book, Ethel emphasizes the need for leaders to build consensus instead of enforcing their will.

Ethel Romm on Building Consensus

“Business is a garden of forked paths, and when we can’t agree on which one to take, then I make the call. There are occasions when you have to say, ‘I’m the president, and it’s got to go this way,’ but that’s the weakest appeal of all.”

“If it’s everybody’s decision—if everyone has helped to make it, or talked you out of something—then we’re all rowing together. Bosses say, ‘Go!’; leaders say, ‘Let’s go!'”

Sometimes, it is difficult for managers “to see why or how they are inefficient. They believe that they are succeeding—after all, nobody mutinies. They fail to understand that when you are the boss, everyone salutes you and follows your orders, regardless of your personality.”

“Thus, they are misled into believing that their meanness or callousness is keeping everyone in line. They can easily get the idea that if they don’t command, control, and coerce, the place will fall apart. The feedback is all wrong.”

Call for Action

Building Consensus for Decision-making Quite often, members of a team may realize that they have very little influence on the decision-making process and withdraw from active participation. However, the team buy-in on the decision to ensure prompt follow-up on expected contributions. Building consensus as part of the decision-making process, therefore, is one of the core team skills—for team members and team leaders.

Listen to every idea offered during a team conversation. Do not ignore or sidestep any ideas or concerns. Do not criticize or show objection. Instead, seek clarifications and discuss: “That is a great idea. And, one of the challenges we will face is…. How shall we work around that? What if we modify…? How about…?” Differences of opinion are natural and expected. Work on reaching decisions by building on the agreements.

As Dwight Eisenhower said, “Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Meetings

How to Conduct Reference Checks

March 3, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Following a job interview, many managers do not feel comfortable extending an offer to a candidate of choice without talking to the candidate’s references. Conducting reference checks is indispensable to validate perceptions of the candidate from an hour-long interview and to discover minutiae that may not be evident from the candidate’s resume or interview. Hence, talking to references gives the manager a distinct perspective of people who may have observed the candidate at his/her work.

Candidates often list as references only individuals who will present upbeat reviews. Further, many references hesitate to provide precise information on the candidate to minimise legal risk (defamation, privacy, etc.) Consequently, some organisations believe that talking to references hardly ever has value. Despite the bias, however, references frequently drop inferences or provide details that may point to important clues to the candidate’s credentials or personality.

Conducting a Reference Check

Ask the candidate for professional references and obtain his/her permission to contact former employers. Setup a twenty to thirty minute telephone meeting with the reference. At the appointed hour, describe the background of the discussion to the reference, inform that the information he/she will provide is valuable and guarantee confidentiality. Consider questions such as the following.

  • “What was your relationship with the candidate? Did you supervise him/her? How frequently did you interact with him/her?”
  • “What kind of supervision did the candidate expect? Did he/she learn quickly? Was he/she open to feedback and change?”
  • “What were the candidate’s strengths and weaknesses? How would you compare him/her to his/her peers?”
  • “Was he/she good at working with people, negotiating, etc.?” Pick a few important professional traits that you believe are critical for success in the position for which you are considering the candidate.
  • “Would you hire (or rehire) the candidate for a similar position in your company?”

Important Guidelines

  • When the references state general observations such as “Sujay is creative” or “Smitha is a good communicator,” ask for specific examples.
  • Try to read between the lines. Be careful of potential misinterpretations; ask for further details and clarify your understanding of the reference’s information.
  • Check independent references, wherever possible. Talk to a friend or people within your network who may know the candidate.

Obtaining meaningful data from reference checks and interpreting this information in the context of the rest of the interviewing process helps managers make objective decisions on job candidates.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Hiring

On the Use of ‘But’ in Interpersonal Feedback

February 28, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Dale Carnegie's classic, How to Win Friends and Influence PeopleDale Carnegie’s classic, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” is one of the most popular self-help books ever written. The book was first published in 1936 and has since sold millions of copies worldwide. In all my personality development seminars, I recommend this book as a must-read for improving interpersonal dynamics. Here is a detailed summary of the book.

Dale Carnegie on the Choice of Words in Giving Feedback

Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word ‘but’ and ending with a critical statement. For example, in trying to change a child’s careless attitude toward studies, we might say, “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.”

In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word ‘but.’ He might then question the sincerity of the original praise. To him, the praise seemed only to be a contrived lead-in to a critical inference of failure. Credibility would be strained, and we probably would not achieve our objectives of changing Johnnie’s attitude toward his studies.

This could be easily overcome by changing the word ‘but’ to ‘and.’ “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.”

Now, Johnnie would accept the praise because there was no follow-up of an inference of failure. We have called his attention to the behavior we wished to change indirectly and the chances are he will try to live up to our expectations.

Call for Action

Giving interpersonal feedback and facilitating change is a critical people-skill. Prior to delivering feedback, we rarely plan exactly what we want to say and how we want to say. The words we choose to use are important.

Observe how you deliver feedback. Use the “You are good and if you improve at this skill, you will be better” structure for effective feedback.

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Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conversations, Feedback

Judging People: Talent is more than Skin-Deep

January 25, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Perception and Reality are Often Poles Apart

At a non-profit organization, I work with two members of the support staff. Sally and Diane (names and context changed for anonymity) joined the organization five months ago and report to the branch manager.

Sally is young, energetic and talks loudly; however, she lacks initiative, has difficulty following-up on assignments and needs constant reminders. Diane is experienced, thorough at work and gets her assignments done promptly; she is quiet and has an introverted personality.

Sally recently had an opportunity to coordinate the visit of the Executive Director of the non-profit organization. The executive was impressed with Sally’s abilities and asked the branch manager to give Sally a raise with a promotion. The branch manager, who had not spent a lot of time with Sally, shared this initial assessment on Sally and agreed.

Having interacted with Sally and Diane extensively, I considered Sally’s promotion unfortunate. Diane was more deserving of promotion for her hard work, initiative and promise for advancement.

Learn to Look Beyond the Surface

Our first impressions are usually deceptive and incomplete. We tend to judge people based on their appearance, their mannerisms (smile, handshake, liveliness, etc.) and their tone. However, reality runs deeper than what is visible at the surface.

  • Know what you are looking for. Develop evaluation criteria and write them down. For instance, assume you are looking for a project manager to lead a new product development. Write down what skills and attributes a good project manager should possess. What should be the ideal background? Would you like the candidate to have had experience leading projects of similar size and scope? Did the projects complete on-time and within assigned budgets?
  • Do not judge people because you share common characteristics. An example: A hiring manager I worked with sometime ago brought a candidate onsite just because the candidate’s resume listed membership in the manager’s favorite charitable group. None of the other interviewers was impressed with the candidate’s leadership skills (among other attributes). The hiring manager realized his mistake and remarked, “I thought everybody that participated in [activity] with [charitable group’s name] was a natural leader.”
  • Check the opinions of others who may have had different perspectives in other contexts. For instance, in job interviewing, talk to all the references that a candidate provided and ask specific questions about the candidate. Talk to independent references wherever available. In particular, seek objective people who have long experience working with the candidate.

Conclusion

As professionals, we are often required to judge job candidates based on an hour of interviewing or induct team members based on minimal acquaintances. Hence, judging people for their talent and personality is a vital skill for managers. To discover others, we need to go beyond perceptions and learn more about their experiences, thoughts and actions to understand them better.

Question: Do you have interesting stories about judging people from perceptions? Please share them in the comments section.

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Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Interpersonal

How to Help People Pursue Conversations after Introducing Them

January 3, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Many people have difficulty with starting conversations and engaging in small talk in unfamiliar social situations. They do not have much to say when introduced to new people at parties, meetings or formal gatherings. As a host or fellow-attendee, you can help.

Say you are presenting people to one another. In addition to stating each person’s name, add a snippet of information about a topic of common interest. Do not elaborate. This will help them connect and pursue a conversation.

Here is an example: “Hey Charlie. This is Sarah, my colleague from work. [Pause for pleasantries.] Sarah’s daughter just returned from Spain after a semester of the ‘Study Abroad’ program. Charlie, wasn’t your daughter thinking of enrolling in the program?”

In a future blog article, I will write about the protocol for introducing people to one another in gatherings.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Conversations, Social Life

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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