Living the Good Life

What to Do If You Wake Up in the Middle of the Night Worrying About Stuff

February 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Intrusive thoughts can take control of your mind at the worst possible times—when you’re trying to go to bed or having trouble staying asleep in the middle of the night. It may take hours to fall asleep if you’re agitated about your job, finances, relationship conflict, or other trouble.

If you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep within 20 minutes, get out of bed and do something calming. Sip some tea or read yourself to sleep.

When your brain is revved up about unsettled impediments that you may be avoiding, devote a few minutes to journal about whatever is bugging you. Get everything out of your head. Or scribble at least one baby step you can take to address each issue.

Idea for Impact: Journaling and working through your stress—processing powerful emotions, clearing your mind, and brainstorming solutions—can help deal with the stressors. If you have persistent insomnia, talk to a healthcare provider.

How to … Rethink Work-Life Balance

January 24, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

A successful corporate life demands high-level performance for sustained periods. Success doesn’t come without a price. It’s a price that those who advance to the heights of the corporate world are prepared to pay, especially if they care much about what they do. They understand that some pursuits are demanding and require a 100% commitment. They get fulfillment from going to work, as others get from spending some time on sports and hobbies.

When it’s harder than ever to separate work and play, contentment comes not so much from ‘balance’ but from defining success for yourself and setting and living your priorities. Everyone has a value system, but not everyone purposefully prioritizes things that have to be at the forefront.

How to Be Happy, per Cicero

January 19, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Roman statesman and orator Cicero wrote, “A happy life consists in tranquility of mind.” (Fully, “We make blessedness of life depend upon an untroubled mind, and exemption from all duties.”)

As the other stoics did, Cicero claims that happiness relies on the internal—we must ultimately rely on ourselves for happiness. The happiest person is “the one who depends on himself only.”

For the stoics, tranquility is to be found by stopping to stress about things we can’t control—by narrowing our focus, looking inward, and eliminating the many uncontrollable passions.

The Bhagavad Gita (2:64-65; from Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan’s exposition) reiterates that such a mode of conduct characterized by the tranquility of mind is the means of spiritual realization:

A man of disciplined mind, who moves along the objects of the sense, with the senses under control and free from attachment and aversion, he attains purity of spirit. And in the purity of spirit, there is produced for him an end of sorrow; the intelligence of such a man of pure spirit is soon established (in the peace of self.)

Idea for Impact: It’s the state of mind that conceives of whether we’re happy. Therefore, we must strengthen our minds and become fulfilled humans.

Co-Workation Defeats Work-Life Balance

January 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

There’s a new workplace “wellness” movement, and travel agencies are touting it big-time.

“Workation” or “work on holidays” (WoH) invites employees to lug their work laptops along to their holiday spots, find decent Wi-Fi, and peg away full-time for a few days.

At first glance, untethering from the physical office and conventional business hours seems like a liberating lifestyle perk. But co-workations are a further erosion of work-life balance, and they’re bad for business. Here’s why.

Co-Workations subvert the very purpose of a holiday: to check out, disconnect, and recharge the batteries. Co-Workations means getting work calls at four in the morning if you’re in a different time zone than the rest of your team. Instead of feeling overworked, stressed, and deadline-obsessed at your cubicle, co-workations encourage you to feel overworked, stressed, and deadline-obsessed while lounging in a hammock surrounded by a bunch of people gaudily enjoying themselves by not working.

A practical way to encourage employees to set boundaries between their personal and professional lives is by simply not asking them to work while on vacation. Many people don’t have the self-discipline for the “psychological detachment” that’s indispensable to rest and refresh.

Idea for Impact: Inviting—empowering even—employees to check in on their work responsibilities is a slippery slope. There’s an expectation that they are more generous with their personal time and consent to being badgered on days off. Besides, when senior managers don’t truly take a vacation, they set a cultural precedent for how others should use their time away from their desks.

Use This Trick to Make Daily Habits Stick This Year

January 2, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The best way to catalyze significant change is by relying on highly specific habits and routines and making time for them amid the busyness of life.

Habit formation relies on consistency. Here’s a simple trick to prevent good intentions from slipping.

Suppose that you want to start a daily walking habit. You set a target to go for a walk for at least an hour a day. But some days, this habit might not be doable.

Consistency & Small Habits = Big Results

To prevent slipping on your daily goal and beating yourself up about it, establish two targets: one for the “good” days and one for the “tough” days.

Set the bar very low for when it’s not possible to dedicate an hour to walking. On the tough days, when you’re exhausted, hungry, feeling lazy and unmotivated, or you’re simply not in the mood to walk, you can go for a quick walk. And on good days, when you have more time and energy, go for longer walks. Average out the tough days with the good days.

Make it so easy that you can’t say no to maintaining your habit on the tough days. You’ll decrease your skipped days and sustain the habit’s consistency by lowering your expectations.

Another benefit of having easy-win targets for the tough days is that you nudge yourself into action. Let’s say you target reading an hour a day. On tough days, when you set out to read for just ten minutes, you’ll perhaps get engrossed in more of the task once you get started and find your way into the text. Action begets momentum, and you’ll find it easier to keep going at it.

Idea for Impact: Consistency is the Foundation of Building New Habits

Habits take a long time to create, but they develop faster when you do them more routinely and repeatedly. The more days you skip, the harder it is to get back into the habit. Set the bar low for the tough days and build deep-seated habits.

Joy is the Happiness That Lasts

December 22, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Early this year, we lost Thích Nhất Hạnh, the much-venerated Vietnamese monk who popularized mindfulness in the West. In one of his early teachings, The Miracle of Mindfulness (1975,) Nhất Hạnh gave simple instructions on how to reset your notions of happiness:

Our notions of happiness entrap us. We forget that they are just ideas. Our idea of happiness can prevent us from actually being happy. We fail to see the opportunity for joy that is right in front of us when we are caught in a belief that happiness should take a particular form.

There’re many things in your life that you aren’t happy about now, and you want to see them changed. Isn’t that always going to be so?

Don’t let the inclination to put off happiness until later draw you away from the positives in your life now.

Idea for Impact: Learn to find joy in tiny triumphs. Joy is the happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens. Joy is the happiness that can be steady. Joy is the happiness that lasts. And that’s what you really want.

How to … Quit Something You Love But Isn’t Working

December 21, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Quitting something you no longer care about is more straightforward than something you’re spirited about but isn’t working.

To avoid quitting a passion too soon or too late, a basic rule of thumb is to give up when the outcomes aren’t improving, even after ample effort to turn things around.

That is to say, when things get difficult in school, business, relationships, or a project, increase your efforts and get help to improve it. If the results are still unacceptable after an adequate interval of much effort, maybe it’s time to throw in the towel on that course of action or rightsize your expectations, if not abandon the pursuit altogether.

Lilies and Leeches

November 14, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Lilies and Leeches: Surround Yourself with Those Who Elevate You You may have heard of the notion of lilies and leeches. The lilies are the people—and situations—that bring out the best in you. The leeches just grind you down.

Learn to say ‘no’ to relationships or situations that don’t work for you. Life’s too short to waste time on anything that can suck your happiness and energy. Avoid those emotional leeches, productivity leeches, and financial leeches.

Idea for Impact: A little-cited key to a rewarding life: choose to surround yourself with those who elevate you. With those who are caring, supportive, and nonjudgmental, and who make you feel loved, appreciated, and respected.

Don’t Over-Deliver

November 3, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Many tasks in the workplace could be done with total adequacy and barely more.

Don’t get fixated on ensuring that every task is entirely done, every email edited and re-edited to get the grammar right, or every spreadsheet is flawless. This is a pointless pursuit.

Sure, you don’t want to be a careless hammerhead. But don’t waste time sweating the little stuff. There comes the point where any changes you make to whatever it is you’re working on no longer makes it better but just different. Identifying the inflection point of diminishing returns is one of the hardest skills to learn and one of the most necessary.

Don’t agonize over tiny improvements in your work and thwart yourself from achieving the actual goal of doing the work.

Idea for Impact: Most acceptable outcomes correlate with “good enough,” not “perfection.” Being consistently excellent is essentially a matter of fierce discipline—doing the essential things well.

3 Ways to … Shake Up Your Life

October 22, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

There’s much comfort in sameness and certainty. Overhauling your life—whether it’s your home, job, or your relationship—can seem an impossible task. But three attitudes can get you started:

Try saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘no.’ Significant changes aren’t without pain, but no good comes from hesitation and inaction. Act decidedly on an opportunity before it ceases to be one. If taking a giant leap is terrifying, take a few low-risk steps and watch your confidence grow. Over time, you’ll become more resilient, adaptable, and bolder.
Think things through. If you’re unhappy with your life, hammer out exactly what you hope to achieve by facing your fear and ripping things up. What worries you controls you. Don’t allow your feelings to dictate your behavior—be clear about why you’re doing this and why it matters to you.
Do something different that scares you—every day. Broaden your horizons. Travel to someplace you haven’t been to before. Try a new food or learn new skills. Try different paths to personal fulfillment. A spirit of constant self-challenge keeps you humble and open to new ideas that very well may be better than the ones you currently hold dear.

Idea for Impact: Sometimes, all it takes is a slight nudge in the right direction.

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Consistency & Small Habits = Big Results

Idea for Impact: Consistency is the Foundation of Building New Habits

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