Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Living the Good Life

Ready to Pay Forward the Future You?

By Leave a Comment

Pay Forward the Future You - Delay Gratification My fitness coach always kicks off each session with, “Are you ready to do the hard things now and pay forward the man you’ll become?” It’s his way of reminding me that every day is a chance to invest in my future self.

Healthy eating and regular training pay off slowly, so it’s easy to lose motivation. Unlike quick fixes, long-term goals need patience and delayed gratification, which can be tough. It’s tempting to slack off when there are no immediate consequences.

Idea for Impact: Visualize success. Imagine how amazing you’ll feel in the future. Stick to the plan.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The One Person You Deserve to Cherish
  2. When Giving Up Can Be Good for You
  3. The Motivational Force of Hating to Lose
  4. What the Dry January Trap Shows Us About Extremes
  5. Heaven and Hell: A Zen Parable on Self-Awareness

How to … Talk About Your Mental Health with Loved Ones

By Leave a Comment

A Guide to Talking to Friends and Family About Mental Health Many of us find it difficult to share our mental health struggles, fearing we might burden our loved ones or face judgment. However, those folks care about us and want to lend a hand; they just might not know how unless we speak up.

Starting a conversation with friends or family can be as simple as saying, “I’ve been feeling a bit off lately. Can I talk to you about it?” or “We don’t usually chat much, but I’m going through a tough time. Can I reach out to you?”

Be honest and open about your feelings, as it helps others understand what you’re going through. Let them know straight up what you’re after—whether it’s a listening ear, a chance to blow off steam and take your mind off things, some emotional backup, or hands-on help.

Don’t expect too much from the first conversation; give them time to process and be prepared to revisit the topic later.

Idea for Impact: Break the silence. Don’t underestimate how much our loved ones can help. Ask for support when you need it.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. How to … Silence Your Inner Critic with Gentle Self-Compassion
  5. Therapeutic Overreach: Diagnosing Ordinary Struggles as Disorders

The Healing Power of Third-Person Reflection

By Leave a Comment

Harnessing the Healing Power of Third-Person Reflection Discussing adversity, trauma, or setbacks may not always alleviate the negative effects as commonly assumed. In fact, instead of offering a sense of emotional release and catharsis, it can sometimes exacerbate them. This is because rehashing a distressing event in conversation with a loved one or a therapist can drag you back into reliving it, rather than facilitating your ability to detach from it.

What can be beneficial in such situations is adopting a fly-on-the-wall perspective and either writing or narrating an account of the unpleasant experience using the third person when referring to yourself. This approach can create distance between you and the painful event, facilitating more thoughtful reflection and providing a better understanding of what happened.

Idea for Impact: By processing a negative experience in a way that fosters distance between the then (when the event happened) and the now (when you’re recalling it,) you’ll gain control over it, rather than allowing it to control you.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Get Everything Out of Your Head
  4. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  5. Therapy That Reopens Wounds is Not Healing but Harm

Why Philosophy Matters

By Leave a Comment

Beyond Joy: The Essence of Living Well through Philosophy Philosophy transcends mere instrumentality; it delves into the depths of existence, ethics, meaning, truth, and reality. It goes beyond being a means to the ends of happiness, moral virtue, and critical thinking—it encompasses all these aspects and more.

Philosophy is primarily concerned with identifying what we should pursue as ends in themselves. Philosophy prompts us to reflect on the nature of the good life, the virtues worth pursuing for their own sake, and the guiding principles that shape human behavior towards these meaningful ends. This pursuit may or may not yield happiness. But it doesn’t matter, so long as we live well—which means to live in such ways that align most closely with our inherent natures.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What It Means to Lead a Philosophical Life
  2. Messy Yet Meaningful
  3. Bertrand Russell on The Value of Philosophy: Doubt in an Age of Dogma
  4. Beware the Dangerous Romance of Rebellion
  5. Admit When You Don’t Have All the Answers

How to … Jazz Up Life This Summer

By Leave a Comment

Summer's the Perfect Time to Break Free and Add Color to Life As the warm breeze of summer rolls in, it’s the perfect time to break free from monotony and infuse a splash of color and meaning in your life.

  • Seek Fresh Adventures. Introduce variety into your life by exploring different hobbies or activities. Try Origami, rose-breeding, Islamic architecture, or Latin dance classes for a change. Enjoy the excitement of acquiring new skills.
  • Stay Open to Surprises. Don’t drift through life, missing its wonders while chasing future goals. Recognize the beauty and enchantment around you. Break from routine, whether it’s a midnight snack or an unplanned day trip. Stay curious, engaged, and unafraid of setbacks.
  • Connect, Reconnect, Thrive. Enhance your life by rekindling old connections and forming new ones. Reach out to neglected friends and make that overdue call. Welcome opportunities to meet new people by attending social events and using social media. Each interaction offers the potential for fresh experiences and meaningful bonds.

Idea for Impact: Step out of your comfort zone, shake off the doldrums, and reignite your enthusiasm. Get out there and make it happen!

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Disrupt Yourself, Expand Your Reach.
  2. The Champion Who Hated His Craft: Andre Agassi’s Raw Confession in ‘Open’
  3. Challenge the Cult of Overzealous Time Management
  4. Transient by Choice: Why Gen Z Is Renting More
  5. The Truth About Work-Life Balance

The Liberating Power of Embracing a Cluttered Space

By Leave a Comment

The Liberating Power of Embracing a Cluttered Space

In a world that’s all about neatness and order, there’s a hidden joy in discovering beauty and functionality within the messy, the chaotic, and the cluttered.

Consider the good ol’ junk drawer—that poster child for disorder in the home, yet a haven of practicality and spontaneity. Overflowing with an eclectic mix of odds and ends, it’s a mishmash of forgotten treasures, quirky knick-knacks, and mysterious items that defy explanation.

Sure, some people might break out in hives at the sight of clutter—it’s a sign of a scattered mind. But for others, it’s a playground of possibility, a treasure trove of memories waiting to be rediscovered. You never know what you might find buried beneath the jumble—rogue packets of Taco Bell sauce, a spare key to who knows where, uncapped Sharpies, paint samples for your bedroom, and tokens from past adventures.

Idea for Impact: Embracing the chaos of a junk drawer isn’t about surrendering to disorder; it’s about celebrating the beauty found in life’s imperfections. It’s about tossing aside the pressure to maintain a pristine facade and embracing the freedom to flourish amid the messiness of everyday life. It’s a declaration that life’s messy, and that’s okay. Life’s too short to fret about the small stuff.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. In Imperfection, the True Magic of the Holidays Shines
  2. A Key to Changing Your Perfectionist Mindset
  3. Thinking Straight in the Age of Overload // Book Summary of Daniel Levitin’s ‘The Organized Mind’
  4. Dear Hoarder, Learn to Let Go
  5. Change Your Perfectionist Mindset (And Be Happier!) This Holiday Season

How to … Deal with Less Intelligent People

By Leave a Comment

How to ... Deal with Less Intelligent People Dealing with those whose smarts don’t match yours can quickly grate on your nerves.

When you feel that frustration bubbling up because someone isn’t quite on the same page intellectually, try stepping into their shoes with a bit of empathy.

Not everyone’s as sharp as you, and that’s okay. Picture it like they’re working with a bit of a handicap—they may not have had the same opportunities in life as you. This mindset helps you respond with kindness, not anger or snark.

Put yourself in their position: imagine you’re in Sicily, trying out a beginner’s cooking class with zero kitchen skills. Even with your smarts, you’re struggling with basics like chopping veggies and frying herbs in olive oil. It’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? You’d want your expert teacher to be understanding and cut you some slack as you learn the ropes.

Always consider the self-esteem of individuals who may not be as intellectually sharp as you when engaging with them. Nobody enjoys feeling unintelligent, especially when it’s implied or expressed by you.

If someone messes up or says something silly, offer reassurance with a casual “Hey, we all goof up sometimes. No worries!” If you have a better idea, gently suggest, “I’m not sure if this will work, but what do you think about trying something else?”

Remember what Dale Carnegie said in his classic How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936): making people feel good about themselves keeps things positive. And you’ll leave your interaction with a sense of satisfaction knowing that you’ve handled the situation with compassion and integrity.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Speak Up in Meetings and Disagree Tactfully
  2. Who Told You That Everybody Was Going to Like You?
  3. A Short Course on: How to Find the Right Relationship
  4. Let Go of Toxic Friendships
  5. The Likeability Factor: Whose “Do Not Pair” List Includes You?

Can’t Control What You Can’t

By Leave a Comment

Stoic Control Test: Can't Control What You Can't During the period spanning from 300 BCE to the third century CE, Stoicism flourished as a profound source of guidance, providing comfort to many individuals enduring profound adversity. Its significance declined with the emergence of Christianity, but the essence of Stoicism has experienced a revival in the present era. An increasing number of people are now reconnecting with its enduring significance and gaining valuable insights into the complexities of our modern world.

The crux of Stoic philosophy finds its essence in the Control Test, articulated in the Handbook or Enchiridion, a collection of lectures by the Roman Stoic Epictetus. He succinctly states: “Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.” This underscores that our sphere of influence encompasses our actions, reactions, desires, character, and interactions with others. Everything else—our physical bodies, the actions of others, our reputations, and our material fortunes—lies beyond our control.

You’re eyeing someone special and hoping they’ll catch feelings? Sorry, but that’s out of your hands.

Stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic? Yep, out of your control too.

Dealing with family drama during the holidays? That’s a mix. Some of it you can manage with good communication and setting boundaries, but some things are just beyond your control.

Running short on time? Well, you’ve got a bit of control there too. By managing your time wisely and prioritizing, you can make the most of what you’ve got.

Feeling the pressure of academics? You’ve got some say in that. How? Well, by building good study habits, managing your time well, and reaching out for help when you need it.

Dreaming of landing that perfect job? Sure, you can toss in an application, but who’ll hired? Well, that’s not up to you.

Getting older? Well, that’s mostly out of your control, though making healthy choices can slow things down a bit.

Got hit with a cancer diagnosis? You can give it your all to fight it, but sometimes even the best treatment can’t stop it from spreading.

Idea for Impact: Make the lens of Stoic Control the cornerstone of your daily concerns. It’ll aid you in pinpointing where to channel your energy for maximum effectiveness, alleviating stress, and, crucially, maintaining perspective.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. I’ll Be Happy When …
  2. What a Daily Stoic Practice Actually Looks Like
  3. Geezer’s Paradox: Not Trying to Be Cool is the New Cool
  4. Messy Yet Meaningful
  5. Live as If You Are Already Looking Back on This Moment with Longing

Get Busy, Get Happy: Feeling Productive is an Underrated Psychostimulant

By Leave a Comment

Get Busy, Get Happy: Feeling Productive Is an Underrated Psychostimulant Get busy doing the things that matter most to you.

Get busy with the things that inspire you.

Do something you care about. Pursue a hobby project. Help a loved one.

Find aspects of what you love in what you’re already doing. If daily life seems filled with drudgery, do even the most menial task better than anyone else.

Unless your sadness is grave, feeling productive can be a potent psychostimulant, albeit in a more subtle and internalized manner compared to other stimulants.

The sense of accomplishment and purpose that comes with productivity can stimulate neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, promoting a positive mood and increased motivation.

Fuel your motivation by turning drudgery into delight. Pick yourself up quickly by doing something that inspires you. Focus on the positives of tasks and your life.

Idea for Impact: Feeling accomplished will give you a “natural high.” You’ll not only lose track of time, but you’ll also feel excited and energized.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  2. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  3. Begin with Yourself
  4. The Secret to Happiness in Relationships is Lowering Your Expectations
  5. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be

Don’t Let Hate Devour You

By Leave a Comment

Buddhist Wisdom on the Destructive Force of Harbored Hatred Buddhist philosophy identifies hate (dveṣa) as one of the three poisons (triviṣa,) alongside greed and ignorance, which fuel suffering and impede spiritual progress.

The Dhammapada (vv. 4-5) teaches us that letting hate take over only hurts us in the long run:

Not by hating hatred ceases?
In this world of tooth and claw;?
Love alone from hate releases?
This is Eternal Law.

Hatred, if harbored, engulfs the individual, amplifying suffering without affecting the object of our hatred.

Getting over hate takes some real effort—developing nurturing love, compassion, and equanimity.

  • Cultivate Understanding: Practicing empathy and compassion softens the grip of hatred.
  • Practice Acceptance: Acknowledging that we cannot alter the past or control others’ actions releases resentment.
  • Practice Forgiveness: Letting go of the desire for retribution frees us from the burden of resentment and propels us forward.
  • Set Boundaries: Limiting contact or avoiding triggering situations redirects our energy toward positive pursuits.
  • Create Space: Temporal, physical, emotional, psychological, social, or virtual space offers clarity and facilitates healthier boundaries.

Even small efforts to integrate these teachings can shift your perspective and foster growth, one step at a time.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Change Your Perspective, Change Your Reactions
  2. What the Buddha Taught About Restraining and Dealing with Anger
  3. Begin with Yourself
  4. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  5. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be