Living the Good Life

The Great Resignation, The Great Awakening

July 25, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Great Resignation, The Great Awakening - Rethinking Work-Life Balance The Great Resignation hasn’t been just about burnout. It’s about a “Great Awakening,” notably for many folks in middle management.

Obliged to stay in their homes during COVID, they’ve reevaluated their lives while cherishing the extra time with their families and engaging in other interests. Discussions of work-life balance came into renewed focus.

As part of this great rethink, people are not willing to sacrifice as much for a work-life balance. Some middle managers are increasingly disinclined to take the next step in their careers because “onward and upward” isn’t as appealing as it used to be, and the price to climb the corporate ladder is too high. These people are keener on setting career paths based on their own values and definitions of success.

Not that their ambitions have changed, though. But they aren’t driving for the same things they were driving for ten years ago. But they’re reconsidering how they can keep contributing to their organizations—on their own terms. They’re willing to come to terms with “career plateauing,” unhooking from the pressure to pursue an upward path that someone else has set.

They may still derive a certain sense of identity from their jobs, but they’re seeking other ways to seek a more fulfilling life. They’re no longer pushing for the more prestigious title, the broader responsibility, the bigger raise, and a larger staff-team. Instead, they’re taking energy that had been directed primarily on goals defined by the employer and focusing it elsewhere.

Idea for Impact: As part of this great rethink, reassess your options. Set clear boundaries on what you’re willing to sacrifice to strike a better work-life balance. Think strategically not only about the work you enjoy but also about the life you want to lead.

How to … Make a Dreaded Chore More Fun

July 7, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Make a Dreaded Chore More Fun If everyday chores feel like a drag and you don’t have the motivation to do anything but be on your phone and laze around, consider the following actions that have most benefited my clients:

Find a friend whom you can talk to long-distance while you both tackle household chores. You can keep each other accountable.
Challenge yourself to beat the clock. Set a time to complete the task by, and see how much ahead you can get it done.
Do “three-minute tidy” routines throughout the day. Choose a room or clutter magnet and go at it for three minutes. Sprucing up as-you-go throughout the day is more agreeable than a long list of must-dos that must be tackled at once.
Begin a dreaded chore in the morning or at the earliest you can. So the rest of the day is free for having some fun. The sooner you check off your to-do list, the more motivated you tend to feel.
Embrace the mess. It’s okay is good enough. Tolerate some clutter from time to time and excuse yourself for not getting all the chores done or having a perfect home. Think about it as a form of prioritization.

How to … Nap at Work without Sleeping

June 27, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How to Take the Perfect Nap

Make nap time the new coffee break. A quick snooze boosts productivity and improves memory and problem-solving.

Bill Anthony’s The Art of Napping at Work (1999) states that a shot of shut-eye was an indispensable afternoon pick-me-up for some of history’s greatest achievers, viz., Aristotle, Eleanor Roosevelt, John D Rockefeller, Leonardo da Vinci, Lyndon B Johnson, Margaret Thatcher, Napoleon, Salvador Dalí, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill.

According to the University of California-Irvine sleep researcher Sara Mednick, you don’t want to get into a deep sleep because you need to be alert. Her Take a Nap! Change Your Life (2006) uses the term “sleep inertia” to describe the inability to shrug sleep off after a nap. This impaired state worsens as you go deeper and deeper into sleep. So the trick is to avoid getting deep sleep.

If you nap about twenty minutes, you’ll be in light sleep, which is easy to get out of. In other words, twenty minutes is long enough to reach Stage 2 sleep, but short enough to ward you off from waking up groggy.

Idea for Impact: Go ahead and snooze for 20 minutes, ideally sometime between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. If you need help regaining alertness after the alarm goes off, step into bright light or splash your face with water. The post-nap energy spike can last for several hours.

Great Jobs are Overwhelming, and Not Everybody Wants Them

June 13, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

One of my friends, a senior executive at a Fortune 500 firm, recently said, “no, thank you” when asked if he’d like to be considered for the post of CEO of his company.

My friend is an ideal CEO candidate: he’s accomplished and well-liked, he’s about 10 years from retirement, he’s been a company “lifer,” and he’s worked hard grabbing the gold ring.

Great Jobs are Overwhelming, and Not Everybody Wants Them When I asked what caused this change of mind, he reflected, “At what cost, however?”

Well, his response wasn’t unexpected. A successful corporate career demands a high level of performance for sustained periods.

Ambitious professionals, especially top performers, have started to think differently about the tradeoffs of a demanding job. They’re asking questions such as “How much is enough?” and “If I get that job, what is it that I’m giving up?”

Most new CEOs are overwhelmed, disclosing that their jobs are more demanding, complex, and stressful than expected. Little wonder, then, that the average CEO’s tenure has gotten shorter over the years.

The brutal reality is that CEOs have less time than ever to prove their worth. The tolerance for mistakes and short-term underperformance has really gone down.

CEOs have to perform or perish. The CEO job is no longer a tenured role, and the ground has shifted over the decades. Several factors have made the jobs of business chiefs much more complicated than in the past. There’s immense pressure to produce consistently excellent results and keep everybody satisfied. It’s so stressful just working hard to keep the job. Then there’s the unremitting pressure of walking a tightrope; managing the conflicting interests between various stakeholders is exhausting.

Ceos Have Less Time Than Ever to Prove Their Worth CEOs’ performance must be more transparent than ever due to the never-ending demands imposed by global competition, geopolitical volatility, technological disruptions, ever-watchful regulators, increasingly engaged boards, and the specter of activist shareholders. A job with such challenges can quickly overwhelm, and CEOs end up working days, nights, and weekends in a futile attempt to pull free. They feel guilty about sacrificing precious family time for their work.

Above all, CEOs feel lonely at the top—being “where the buck stops,” they don’t have anyone to confide in. CEOs tend to isolate themselves due to the overwhelming responsibilities and the pressure to appear calm to employees.

Idea for Impact: Not everybody wishes to climb the top of the ladder. A high-pressure climate is not for everybody. Remember, burnout happens not when you work too much but when you invest emotionally in work and don’t get a commensurate return.

Be Kind … To Yourself

June 6, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive (2021,) University of Texas-Austin’s Kristin Neff argues that self-acceptance and self-compassion—being good to ourselves—makes us more likely to adopt healthy behaviors.

Neff summarizes numerous studies that have suggested that self-compassion is associated with overall well-being: “The more you’re able to accept yourself, the more you’re able to make positive, healthy changes in your life.”

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the relationship with yourself. Learn to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Put your needs on top; give yourself compassion and comfort. Listen to your restlessness. Feelings of agitation can lead to a new life of purpose. True self-awareness can help you learn what drives you, what excites you and motivates you.

Self-Compassion: Be Kind ... To Yourself Neff suggests creating moments within each day and practicing meaningful self-care. Do something nice for yourself: take a walk in the woods, meditate, play with a pet, call a friend for support, journal, or indulge in a hot bath.

Idea for Impact: Pay attention to your self-talk and speak to yourself the way you would to someone you love, “What do you need right now?” Dwell upon that question and allow an authentic answer to emerge. Then, ask, “What’s one brave decision you can make now to get unstuck and move in the direction of your goals? What’s stopping you from getting started?”

If Meditation Isn’t Working For You, Try Intermittent Silence

May 27, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If Meditation Isn't Working For You, Try Intermittent Silence Mindfulness meditation is tough. There’s no easy way around it. It can make you feel discouraged at best and miserable at worst when it doesn’t work.

If you’ve failed at trying different forms of meditation or don’t find them as calming as you hoped, try intermittent silence.

Intermittent silence is straightforward—it’s as simple as closing your eyes for 5 or 10 minutes, enveloping yourself in silence, and attending to the sounds of nature.

Intermittent silence quietens your mind. It shifts your attention from the incessant chatter in your head, disconnecting you from everything around and trying to reach a state of tranquility.

As disruptive thoughts emerge, let these thoughts pass by, acknowledging them but not engaging in them, just as you would glance at a butterfly fly around graciously. Make a deliberate effort to shift your attention away and focus on something else, e.g., a gentle breeze.

Bollywood: An Escapism to a Happier Place

May 24, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

On a long plane ride to India recently, I read Desperately Seeking Shah Rukh: India’s Lonely Young Women and the Search for Intimacy and Independence (2021,) economist Shrayana Bhattacharya’s ethnographic examination of legions of the superstar’s female fans.

Bollywood offers a diversion from the humdrum—and a reprieve from life’s many injustices. Female fans idealize Shah Rukh Khan in his portrayal of romantic, sensitive, vulnerable characters who’re utterly devoted to the women they love. But author Bhattacharya uses the escapism that Bollywood provides as a frame to paint a picture of feminism and socioeconomic inequity. Makes for interesting reading.

Bollywood Star Shah Rukh Khan: An Escapism to a Happier Place

All forms of entertainment offer pleasant escapism—a balm against life’s slings and arrows. But Bollywood melodramas go a step further. Amid the predictable storylines and emotional dialog is the kind and brave hero—the ones typically played by Shah Rukh Khan—who fights for the affections of a pretty damsel against all adversities and vile thugs. Its heroes embody all the desirable qualities and fill fans’ heads with dreams of romance and resolution that may never come.

Their fantasies are—can I get married and be happy? Can I own a small car and not worry about petrol prices? Life can be very hard in India, so for two hours, I’ll give them real fantasy.

—Shah Rukh Khan, quoted in The Australian 10-Aug-2013

And that isn’t so bad. When everything in the film is so pleasing to the hearts—pretty locales, vibrant colors, rhythmic music, and spirited dancing included—no one cares about the predicable hollowness, cheesy dialogues, and the lousy acting.

Idea for Impact: Escapism from quotidian existence makes the world a more optimistic place, waiting to be filled with its own color and song.

Look Back at This Time Last Year

May 20, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Look Back at This Time Last Year and Reflect Upon Life

Each week, review the prior year’s calendar, logbook, or journal for the same week to see what you were doing. What projects were you working on, and with whom were you interacting?

This habit not only gives you a perspective on how things turned out for you but also reminds you to reconnect with people.

What was most important in your life then? What “would I, could I, should I” decisions were you facing then? Have some of your anticipated troubles never come to pass? What were your most memorable moments? Has much of your worrying been eventually fruitless? What elements of life have you overlooked, and what could you restart or reprioritize now?

Idea for Impact: As you look back, reflect on how every experience, even a negative one, is merely a little step on the path. In the end, life turns out to be okay.

Having What You Want

May 16, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Finding Contentment---Wanting is Different from Having

Wanting is different from having.

Wanting is in the future. Having is here; it’s now.

Wanting is based on what could make you happy in the next minute, next week, or next year.

When you don’t let yourself have what you already have, you’re in a trap of your own making. You’re perpetually restless and disengaged. You aren’t present—you’re pursuing a happiness that’s always somewhere else.

Idea for Impact: Don’t be so occupied wanting the next thing that you don’t allow yourself to enjoy what’s in front of you now. You’ll become more content if you look harder for things to be grateful for in the here and now.

Why You Can’t Relax on Your Next Vacation

April 23, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Why You Can't Relax on Your Next Vacation Some managers can’t slow down even on vacation. They keep worrying about their work and won’t come back feeling rested and rejuvenated.

If you feel the added guilt of being away, it may be time for you to look inward and reflect upon your ability to delegate. Don’t bring fear of inadequacy with you on vacation.

Sure, most people responsible for delivering big things find it difficult to be away. Feeling out of control is always stressful. Here’s how to make time off as restful as possible:

Schedule 1-hour check-ins every day.
Manage your team’s expectations and make sure everyone knows what matters you want to be bothered about.
Build-in buffers at both ends. Don’t work right until you leave for the airport and don’t get back to work right off the plane. Schedule an extra day off before you depart and another when you return. Dive back in slowly.

Idea for Impact: Time off should be time off. Get the most out of your time off by unplugging completely.

Living the Good Life

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