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Health and Well-being

Things Will Look Up Soon

March 21, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

There’ll be days when you’ll feel down in the dumps. You’ll have those days when the band, singer, or ensemble you enjoy won’t suddenly make your anxiety disappear. When the show you’ve been watching won’t fascinate you as much as it did the previous day. When you’ll not feel like being with a loved one.

Feeling helpless is something that all people suffer from time to time. You may become dispassionate or disengaged from the things and people that ground you. The hobbies you care for don’t cheer you up.

Sometimes, it’s just a day that only you can get through, even if you feel nobody understands what you’re going through. Nobody’s going to do your life for you. Hang in there—you’ll soon find ways to deal with it and emerge from what can feel like a hole or a dark tunnel with no end.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Self-Criticism Is Self-Sabotage
  2. How to… Reframe Negative Thoughts
  3. How Thought-Stopping Can Help You Overcome Negative Thinking and Get Unstuck
  4. The Healing Power of Third-Person Reflection
  5. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Adversity, Anxiety, Resilience, Suffering

What to Do If You Wake Up in the Middle of the Night Worrying About Stuff

February 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Intrusive thoughts can take control of your mind at the worst possible times—when you’re trying to go to bed or having trouble staying asleep in the middle of the night. It may take hours to fall asleep if you’re agitated about your job, finances, relationship conflict, or other trouble.

If you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep within 20 minutes, get out of bed and do something calming. Sip some tea or read yourself to sleep.

When your brain is revved up about unsettled impediments that you may be avoiding, devote a few minutes to journal about whatever is bugging you. Get everything out of your head. Or scribble at least one baby step you can take to address each issue.

Idea for Impact: Journaling and working through your stress—processing powerful emotions, clearing your mind, and brainstorming solutions—can help deal with the stressors. If you have persistent insomnia, talk to a healthcare provider.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Law of Petty Irritations
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Anxiety, Emotions, Introspection, Stress, Worry

How to Be Happy, per Cicero

January 19, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The Roman statesman and orator Cicero wrote, “A happy life consists in tranquility of mind.” (Fully, “We make blessedness of life depend upon an untroubled mind, and exemption from all duties.”)

As the other stoics did, Cicero claims that happiness relies on the internal—we must ultimately rely on ourselves for happiness. The happiest person is “the one who depends on himself only.”

For the stoics, tranquility is to be found by stopping to stress about things we can’t control—by narrowing our focus, looking inward, and eliminating the many uncontrollable passions.

The Bhagavad Gita (2:64-65; from Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan’s exposition) reiterates that such a mode of conduct characterized by the tranquility of mind is the means of spiritual realization:

A man of disciplined mind, who moves along the objects of the sense, with the senses under control and free from attachment and aversion, he attains purity of spirit. And in the purity of spirit, there is produced for him an end of sorrow; the intelligence of such a man of pure spirit is soon established (in the peace of self.)

Idea for Impact: It’s the state of mind that conceives of whether we’re happy. Therefore, we must strengthen our minds and become fulfilled humans.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Key to Living In Awareness, Per Eckhart Tolle’s ‘The Power of Now’
  2. To Live a Life of Contentment
  3. What a Daily Stoic Practice Actually Looks Like
  4. I’ll Be Happy When …
  5. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg McKeown’s ‘Essentialism’

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Happiness, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Stoicism, Wisdom

Co-Workation Defeats Work-Life Balance

January 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

There’s a new workplace “wellness” movement, and travel agencies are touting it big-time.

“Workation” or “work on holidays” (WoH) invites employees to lug their work laptops along to their holiday spots, find decent Wi-Fi, and peg away full-time for a few days.

At first glance, untethering from the physical office and conventional business hours seems like a liberating lifestyle perk. But co-workations are a further erosion of work-life balance, and they’re bad for business. Here’s why.

Co-Workations subvert the very purpose of a holiday: to check out, disconnect, and recharge the batteries. Co-Workations means getting work calls at four in the morning if you’re in a different time zone than the rest of your team. Instead of feeling overworked, stressed, and deadline-obsessed at your cubicle, co-workations encourage you to feel overworked, stressed, and deadline-obsessed while lounging in a hammock surrounded by a bunch of people gaudily enjoying themselves by not working.

A practical way to encourage employees to set boundaries between their personal and professional lives is by simply not asking them to work while on vacation. Many people don’t have the self-discipline for the “psychological detachment” that’s indispensable to rest and refresh.

Idea for Impact: Inviting—empowering even—employees to check in on their work responsibilities is a slippery slope. There’s an expectation that they are more generous with their personal time and consent to being badgered on days off. Besides, when senior managers don’t truly take a vacation, they set a cultural precedent for how others should use their time away from their desks.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Why You Can’t Relax on Your Next Vacation
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  3. The Champion Who Hated His Craft: Andre Agassi’s Raw Confession in ‘Open’
  4. Hustle Culture is Losing Its Shine
  5. The Truth About Work-Life Balance

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Balance, Mindfulness, Stress, Work-Life, Workplace

How to … Incorporate Exercise into Your Daily Life

December 23, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

An “exercise snack” is a short little bite of physical activity you can do anywhere, anytime. You don’t even need to change your clothes. Try 10 push-ups, stair climbing, or a brisk walk or jog around the block.

Exercise snacking increases the amount of activity in your day, and breaks up sedentary time, which is increasingly being linked to chronic health risks.

It may not seem like much, but several scientific studies show that interleaving brief fitness routines a few times into your day not only encourages your body to feel better, but also contributes to meaningful gains in fitness and overall health. It improves your mood, stimulates creativity, and enhances focus, making it an all-around win for your health and productivity. Best of all, exercise snacking removes the pressure of committing to a long, once-a-day sweaty session.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Personal Energy: How to Manage It and Get More Done // Summary of ‘The Power of Full Engagement’
  2. How to … Nap at Work without Sleeping
  3. How to Keep Your Brain Fresh and Creative
  4. Do Things Fast
  5. Easy Ways to Boost Your Focus & Stop Multitasking

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Discipline, Getting Things Done, Motivation, Time Management, Wellbeing

Public Speaking is Traumatizing Vulnerable Students

November 7, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

For decades, universities have forced presentations and class participation to be integral to students’ grades. Sure, employers are interested not only in graduates’ subject knowledge but also in their ability to communicate, work in teams, problem-solve, build consensus, and so on.

However, public speaking anxiety is too common in college students, particularly those suffering from chronic social anxiety. Some even dread the sheer prospect of raising their hands in class for fear of being judged.

Sadly, our academic institutions aren’t doing enough to support such students. College is, after all, a place to practice in a supportive environment—it’s better for students to confront their fears in a relatively low-stakes classroom setting than in the real world. One lecturer I know of accommodated a nervous student by dismissing everyone else and making her present only to the professor.

Colleges must emphasize that anxiety and fear of public speaking are entirely normal—Mark Twain famously noted, “There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.” Colleges should assess individual students’ natural ability and teach public speaking as part of university learning, starting with systematic desensitization and conditioning confidence until the students feel they can tackle entire presentations.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  2. The Law of Petty Irritations
  3. The Nature of Worry
  4. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  5. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be

Filed Under: Career Development, Health and Well-being, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Confidence, Presentations, Social Dynamics, Stress, Suffering, Worry

Don’t Be Afraid to Let the Darkness In

October 27, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be angry or sad.

Fear, anxiety, sadness, and other negative emotions are but a natural response to what’s happening in your life, and you shouldn’t have to deny them. No one goes through life never feeling a negative emotion.

If you have a vicious internal voice—an ‘inner saboteur’—that also scorns you for having a rough time, just tell yourself it’s okay to not be okay. Your emotions aren’t the enemy. Sometimes things are hard because they’re just hard and not because you’re lacking something or you’re not doing enough.

You don’t need to buy into platitudes such as “Look on the sunnier side!” and “Everything happens for a reason!” Being positive isn’t the only correct way to live. In fact, toxic positivity can make you feel disconnected and, eventually, worse.

As long as you deal with them healthily, negative sentiments are okay—no need to avoid unpleasant realities. Stop buying into them, being attached to them, and inviting them back. Leaning into—not suppressing—pain, regret, sadness, and fear can bring significant benefits. The road to the good life is paved with the full range of the human experience—tears and furrowed brows, smiles and amusement, and all.

Idea for Impact: Don’t be afraid to let the darkness in. No need to attach so much meaning to what arises. No need to identify with your emotions. Allow yourself to experience the emotions. In time, they’ll move on through.

Seek little moments of compassion, inspiration, calmness, or altruism. These have the power to inspire and give hope.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  2. Seven Ways to Let Go of Regret
  3. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  4. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be
  5. How to … Break the Complaint Habit

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Mental Models Tagged With: Attitudes, Emotions, Getting Along, Introspection, Suffering, Worry

3 Ways to … Eat Healthy

October 19, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Mindful eating for wellbeing isn’t just about what foods to eat but also about establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship with food.

  1. Slow down and really be present while you eat. Mindful eating is best achieved when your focus is on the meal. Put your phone or book elsewhere and just focus on your food’s taste, smell, texture, and look. You’ll enjoy the food so much more when you savor it. Wolfing down your food leads to overeating because your brain doesn’t realize it’s had enough to eat.
  2. Honor your hunger and fullness—relearn what it feels like when you’re hungry and full. Don’t overeat or eat the wrong things because your environment triggers your appetite. Change your environment, so it works for you rather than against you.
  3. Use smaller plates. The larger the portion size, the more you’ll eat. Aim to eat healthy most of the time and allow some wiggle room. There’re no ‘bad’ foods, and identifying foods as ‘off-limits’ only makes you want them more. Practice portion control if you step off your diet for a special occasion.

Idea for Impact: Building wellness begins with really paying attention. Change behavior with simple nudges.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. Be Careful What You Start
  3. Eat with Purpose, on Purpose
  4. What the Dry January Trap Shows Us About Extremes
  5. Your To-Do List Isn’t a Wish List: Add to It Selectively

Filed Under: Health and Well-being Tagged With: Discipline, Goals, Mindfulness, Motivation

How to… Reframe Negative Thoughts

October 13, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Modest self-doubt is normal when you’re analyzing your past or thinking about the future. But it’s easy to give in to negative chatter in your head and get lost in a mental house of mirrors. There’s no cognitive off switch for brooding, but a little internal coaching can help quiet this voice.

Start by recognizing negative thoughts and ask yourself—is this useful? Or is it not useful? Recognize that negative talk is unhelpful. Bring your focus back to self-compassion—let go of the judgments you hold about yourself, your body, and your moods.

Whenever your mind squawks, hone in and try to identify the exact emotion you’re experiencing. Ask yourself, “What’s at the core of what’s going on here?” Instead of using a broad label like “worry” or “stress,” drill down deeper into those feelings. Are you feeling vulnerable, or are you anxious about an outcome?

Reassess those pesky thoughts that play on a loop in your mind. Catch yourself embracing insistent expressions such as “always,” “never,” and “forever.” The more you attend to such notions about yourself, the more you believe in them, regardless of whether they’re true. Before you go into a negative spin, ask yourself if you really are failing at everything and if you’re always too busy to find time for your loved ones.

Idea for Impact: Rewrite Your Negative Self-Talk Script

If dwelling on critical moments is dragging you down, it’s time to take action. Rather than fault yourself for the swirl of thoughts, tell yourself you’re troubleshooting, planning, and preparing. Get on with the things you want to do. The momentum of positive emotions builds up as soon as you take action. If dwelling on critical moments is dragging you down, it’s time to take action

[Re-scripting your self-talk (“I can rehearse this presentation and ask a friend for feedback”) can help you prepare for any challenges and stop worrying about them incessantly.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How Thought-Stopping Can Help You Overcome Negative Thinking and Get Unstuck
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Adversity, Anxiety, Emotions, Mindfulness, Resilience, Suffering, Worry

You Shouldn’t Force Yourself to Be a Morning Person

October 10, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Since the dawn of time, the world has venerated early birds and propagated the notion that getting up with the lark makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise. The internet is full of references to the early-to-rise habits of Tim Cook, Michelle Obama, or some celebrity du jour. Those who struggle with mornings are slandered as slothful.

Even the wiser productivity gurus often fail to acknowledge that “4 a.m. is the most productive hour” not because of some configuration of the planets or some scientific phenomenon but simply because there are fewer distractions at that hour.

Night owls, no need to force yourself into a mold that doesn’t work for you. No need to completely adjust your life and feel weary and less productive throughout the day.

Overhauling your sleep times may not have much effect. Ultimately, productivity isn’t about the time you wake up. It’s accommodating your most challenging tasks when your brain is working at its peak.

Idea for Impact: All of us are born predisposed to function better at certain times of the day. The more you understand your chronotype and adapt your work around your naturally preferred times, the more productive you’ll be. Experiment with your sleep schedule, but don’t push too far out of your natural preference. Stick with what works.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to … Kickstart Your Day with Focus & Set a Daily Highlight to Stay on Track
  2. Don’t Do the Easiest Jobs First
  3. Zeigarnik Effect: How Incomplete Tasks Trigger Stress
  4. Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus
  5. Personal Energy: How to Manage It and Get More Done // Summary of ‘The Power of Full Engagement’

Filed Under: Health and Well-being Tagged With: Discipline, Motivation, Tardiness, Time Management

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!