Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Health and Well-being

The One Person You Deserve to Cherish

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The One Person You Deserve to Cherish You’d never dream of hurting the ones you love, so why treat yourself like an exception? You’re someone’s loved one, too. You deserve the same kindness you so freely give others.

  • Treat yourself with care. If you wouldn’t hurt someone you love, don’t do it to yourself.
  • Stop the self-criticism. When you’re harsh on yourself, remember you’d never say those things to a loved one.
  • Own your whole self. Embrace your flaws, your complexity, your mess. Live boldly, unapologetically.

Let go of the negativity. Build your confidence. Live freely, as your true self.

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  3. Be Kind … To Yourself
  4. But Is It Sustainable?
  5. I’ll Be Happy When …

The Argument Against Long-Term Psychotherapy

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The Argument Against Long-Term Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy, especially short-term therapy, can be a game changer for many, but long-term therapy, despite its popularity, has its downsides.

Often, long-term therapy focuses too much on past experiences, keeping the spotlight on personal struggles and breeding a bit of narcissism. If you find yourself in prolonged therapy, you might become overly absorbed in your issues, leading to self-pity that undermines your relationships and personal growth.

Caught in a Cycle of Over-Analysis

Unfortunately, many therapists still cling to outdated methods that dig into your past to extract insights they believe are crucial for progress. But let’s be real: insight alone isn’t enough for lasting change. Research shows that concentrating on concrete changes in thoughts and behaviors in the “here and now” is far more effective than fixating on the “there and then.”

Long-term therapy can also create unhealthy dependency, leaving you unprepared for real-world challenges. This dependency might be inadvertently encouraged by therapists who benefit financially from endlessly revisiting past traumas, leading to a conflict of interest between providing timely solutions and keeping you around longer than necessary.

Another downside is that long-term therapy can sometimes excuse—maybe even justify—inaction. You might catch yourself procrastinating on important decisions or avoiding risks, with therapy unintentionally reinforcing that tendency. If fear keeps you from making essential life changes, your therapist may offer soothing explanations that trap you in a cycle of over-analysis, making it harder to take the bull by the horns. Plus, many therapists shy away from giving direct advice that could actually spur you into action.

Living in the Past is Holding You Back

Countless people spend years in therapy without seeing meaningful changes. They often lack the self-awareness and drive to act, which is where a straightforward tough-love lecture can make a real difference. A concerned, no-nonsense confidant might say, “You’re being a loser—a lazy excuse-maker. You blame everyone but yourself for your failures.” Many who have wrestled with long-standing issues find this tough-love approach resonates, leading to modest improvements. While tough love may work in many contexts, many psychotherapists prefer a more compassionate, nuanced approach that focuses on your emotional health and personal journey.

In the end, therapy often provides insights without significant change. Before diving into long-term therapy, ask yourself if it truly meets your needs. If you’re already in lengthy therapy, reflect on whether it has genuinely improved your life or just fostered narcissism and dependency.

Idea for Impact: To change your life, take action now instead of getting stuck in the past. Doing so empowers you to build momentum through small, consistent steps while applying the lessons from your past blunders. This present-focused approach reduces anxiety, boosts resilience, and opens your eyes to new opportunities. Plus, it keeps you mindful and improves your overall well-being, sparing you from future regrets. Consider a tough-love lecture or the guidance of a no-nonsense advisor to push you out of your comfort zone. These strategies can create urgency and commitment, paving the way for real change in your behavior and mindset.

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  2. How to … Talk About Your Mental Health with Loved Ones
  3. A Journey Through Therapy: Summary of Lori Gottlieb’s ‘Maybe You Should Talk to Someone’
  4. Therapeutic Overreach: Diagnosing Ordinary Struggles as Disorders
  5. The Power of Negative Thinking

How to Tackle the Biggest Source of Negativity in Your Life

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How to Tackle the Biggest Source of Negativity in Your Life

Often, you are your biggest source of negativity in your life.

You serve as your own fiercest critic, consistently pointing out your imperfections and shortcomings with sharp precision.

While a balanced dose of self-critique can be constructive, incessantly putting yourself down is self-defeating. This cycle of self-doubt, negative self-talk, and harsh inner dialogue fuels feelings of inadequacy and despair.

Negative self-talk can quickly become a damaging habit. Your internal narratives shape your emotions and behaviors, influencing how you respond to external situations. This internal negativity skews your perception, leading you to focus on failures instead of celebrating your successes. Consequently, it harms your relationships and overall well-being, hindering your ability to live a fulfilling life. Self-criticism diminishes your self-worth and erodes your peace of mind, making it hard to move forward.

There’s no magic solution for overcoming this negativity. Like any bad habit, it requires making small, deliberate choices that gradually become easier. By recognizing your power to change your mindset, you can break free from self-imposed limitations and cultivate a more positive outlook.

Idea for Impact: The most important conversation you have is the one in your head. Instead of consistently putting yourself down, concentrate on lifting yourself up. Replace that negative voice with positive affirmations. Make lists of what you love about yourself, acknowledge your achievements—no matter how small—and reward yourself when you reach a goal.

When you make mistakes, aim to view the situation objectively, without letting emotions cloud your judgment. Rather than fixating on your errors and criticizing yourself, identify what went wrong and consider how to improve next time.

Practicing self-compassion can also buffer against future disappointments; extend yourself the same grace you would offer a best friend. Self-validation bolsters your acknowledgment of your capabilities and skills, helping you build a healthier, more positive relationship with yourself.

Wondering what to read next?

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  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. How to … Silence Your Inner Critic with Gentle Self-Compassion

How to … Silence Your Inner Critic with Gentle Self-Compassion

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Embrace Your Struggles: The Power of Honest Self-Compassion In When Things Fall Apart (1996,) revered Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, saying, “The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”

Self-compassion, as Chödrön explains, isn’t about indulging yourself in superficial comforts. Instead, it’s about treating yourself with the same understanding and care you’d offer a close friend during times of hardship. It means facing your suffering without getting lost in it and taking steps to ease it with patience and kindness.

Idea for Impact: When you’re struggling, take a moment to reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself, “What’s happening? Why do I feel this way? What do I need most right now?” This compassionate approach can give you greater clarity and help you bounce back when facing challenges.

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  4. How to… Reframe Negative Thoughts
  5. How Thought-Stopping Can Help You Overcome Negative Thinking and Get Unstuck

How to … Combat Those Pesky Distractions That Keep You From Living Fully

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How to Combat Those Pesky Distractions That Keep You From Living Fully

Distractions and interruptions have become so ingrained in our lives that we often overlook how difficult it is to maintain focus. Even President Barack Obama acknowledged this challenge, stating, “The hardest thing about the job is staying focused.”

The key to leading a productive and less stressful life lies in your ability to unshackle yourself from pointless commitments and to self-regulate your way out of mental fragmentation. Here’s how to combat mental chaos:

  1. Understand Your Limitations. Recognize what you’re not good at and identify tasks you should avoid. Investors Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger of Berkshire Hathaway have a “too hard pile” for investment ideas they don’t fully understand. By eliminating concepts they lack unique insight into, they streamline their decision-making process.
  2. Declutter Your Space. Marie Kondo, the tidiness expert and author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (2014,) has inspired countless followers to discard anything that no longer brings joy or has outlived its usefulness. A tidy environment, she argues, fosters clearer thinking.
  3. Practice Mental Hygiene. Every item in your “inbox” demands attention, so it’s crucial to manage what you allow in. Clean out your email folder, reduce your to-do list, unsubscribe from unnecessary magazines and newsletters, and limit the flow of new commitments. Be selective about your friendships, too; prioritize quality over quantity.
  4. Eliminate Distractions. Top performers share a common trait: they accept fewer tasks and obsess over executing them well. As American crime fiction author James Ellroy once stated, “I’m interested in doing very few things. I don’t have a cell phone. I don’t have a computer. I don’t have a TV set. I don’t go to movies. I don’t read. I ignore the world so I might live obsessively.” Letting mundane concerns distract you leads to losing focus on your essential tasks.
  5. Examine Time-Wasting Habits. Avoid doing something simply because it’s been a tradition or habit. If you accidentally abandon something important, you can always pick it up again later.
  6. Focus on Your Goals. Your to-do list should reflect your true aspirations, not just a random collection of tasks. Be selective about what you add. Implement my three-step process—time logging, time analysis, and time budgeting—to align your efforts with your mission, values, and desired outcomes.

Idea for Impact: A Mind That’s Everywhere is Nowhere

To tackle that mental chaos, take back control of your attention. Set clear priorities on what you’ll focus on, and work on fewer things but dive into them more intensely. As Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, stated, “Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”

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  4. Dear Hoarder, Learn to Let Go
  5. Elevate Timing from Art to Science // Book Summary of Daniel Pink’s ‘When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing’

1-Minute Mindfulness Exercises

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1-Minute Mindfulness Exercises Mindfulness isn’t just for serious practitioners—it’s easy to fit into your day. Escape the daily grind for a minute and turn even brief moments into mindful gems.

  • Mindful Breathing: Tune into your breathing. Notice the gaps between inhales and exhales and how your lungs expand. If your mind wanders, gently steer it back to your breath.
  • Body Scan: Spend a minute scanning from your feet to your hands. Observe any physical sensations, then shift your focus to your surroundings.
  • Mindful Strolling: Slow down and feel the sensations in your feet and legs with each step. If your thoughts drift, use the feeling of your feet on the ground to stay present.
  • Mindful Eating: Break free from autopilot while eating. Pay close attention to your food’s texture, smell, and taste, and savor each bite.
  • Mindful Listening: Listen to the sounds around you without overanalyzing. If you recognize a sound, label it and move on, letting new sounds catch your attention.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Know Your Triggers, Master Your Emotions
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. Gratitude Can Hold You Back

Try Zero-Tasking: Doing Nothing Never Felt So Good

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Try Zero-Tasking: Doing Nothing Never Felt So Good In 2006, American writer Nancy Christie introduced the notion of Zero-Tasking as folks reset their clocks back for the end of Daylight Savings Time. It’s about consciously stepping away from all your usual daily duties, whether they’re work-related or household chores, and simply being present without feeling pressured to accomplish anything.

As with the Dutch lifestyle concept of Niksen, simply doing nothing is turning your back on hyper-connectedness and the storm of stress and anxiety. On a Zero-Tasking Day (or Afternoon,) the focus is on mental rejuvenation. It’s like hitting the reset button for your mind and body. Declare the day as unproductive in terms of your typical tasks and responsibilities.

Idea for Impact: Take a breather from the constant hustle of daily life. Clear your schedule, unplug from technology, and indulge in activities that promote relaxation. Whether it’s diving into a good book, strolling through nature, spending time with loved ones, or just kicking back and unwinding, give yourself permission to recharge.

You deserve it.

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  3. Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed
  4. A Quick Way to De-stress: The “Four Corners Breathing” Exercise
  5. Decisions, Decisions: Are You a Maximizing Maniac or a Satisficing Superstar?

Ready to Pay Forward the Future You?

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Pay Forward the Future You - Delay Gratification My fitness coach always kicks off each session with, “Are you ready to do the hard things now and pay forward the man you’ll become?” It’s his way of reminding me that every day is a chance to invest in my future self.

Healthy eating and regular training pay off slowly, so it’s easy to lose motivation. Unlike quick fixes, long-term goals need patience and delayed gratification, which can be tough. It’s tempting to slack off when there are no immediate consequences.

Idea for Impact: Visualize success. Imagine how amazing you’ll feel in the future. Stick to the plan.

Wondering what to read next?

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  2. When Giving Up Can Be Good for You
  3. The Motivational Force of Hating to Lose
  4. Be Kind … To Yourself
  5. I’ll Be Happy When …

If Mindfulness Meditation Isn’t for You, Try This Focusing Exercise

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If Mindfulness Meditation Isn't for You, Try This Focusing Exercise Many folks who could seriously benefit from a bit of contemplative meditation somehow never quite get around to it. Mindfulness meditation offers real, tangible benefits, but like any skill, it requires regular practice. Without it, you can only expect minor improvements, which is where many people stumble.

If Mindfulness meditation seems too elaborate, here’s a simple way to start:

  1. Pick a regular daily task.
  2. Perform it at half the usual pace—slowly and deliberately.
  3. Tune in to the moment by observing your sensory experiences.

That’s all there is to it. There’s no need for intricate poses, calming playlists, or scented candles. Forget about searching for a zen-like sanctuary. Just stay present and plod through a daily chore.

For example, during a shower, slow things down. Turn the faucet gently and savor the sensation of the water on your skin and the temperature change. Then, pick up the shampoo and apply it to your hair with a deliberate, calm touch.

Similarly, on a casual stroll, walk with purpose and at a slow pace. Pay attention to each step, listen to the birds, and appreciate the blooming flowers to stay grounded in the present.

By slowing down, you highlight the physical and sensory aspects of your actions. You’ll notice more details and experience the richness of even the simplest tasks. Slowing your pace shifts your focus, helping you become more aware of how you perform and coordinate your actions with intention.

When your mind starts to wander, slow down. Check in with what you’re doing. Refocus on the present. It’s surprisingly effective.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Niksen: The Dutch Art of Embracing Stillness, Doing Nothing
  2. Zen in a Minute: Centering with Micro-Meditations
  3. Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed
  4. A Quick Way to De-stress: The “Four Corners Breathing” Exercise
  5. Busyness is a Lack of Priorities

How to … Talk About Your Mental Health with Loved Ones

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A Guide to Talking to Friends and Family About Mental Health Many of us find it difficult to share our mental health struggles, fearing we might burden our loved ones or face judgment. However, those folks care about us and want to lend a hand; they just might not know how unless we speak up.

Starting a conversation with friends or family can be as simple as saying, “I’ve been feeling a bit off lately. Can I talk to you about it?” or “We don’t usually chat much, but I’m going through a tough time. Can I reach out to you?”

Be honest and open about your feelings, as it helps others understand what you’re going through. Let them know straight up what you’re after—whether it’s a listening ear, a chance to blow off steam and take your mind off things, some emotional backup, or hands-on help.

Don’t expect too much from the first conversation; give them time to process and be prepared to revisit the topic later.

Idea for Impact: Break the silence. Don’t underestimate how much our loved ones can help. Ask for support when you need it.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. How to … Silence Your Inner Critic with Gentle Self-Compassion
  5. Therapeutic Overreach: Diagnosing Ordinary Struggles as Disorders