Health and Well-being

Think Your Way Out of a Negative Thought

April 29, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

The human mind can become more blinkered in times of emotional turmoil.

The reasons for negative thoughts aren’t always logical, but challenging the stimuli with the following probing questions can help you reappraise the situation and distance yourself from the negative thoughts.

What am I concerned about?
Is this thought mine or someone else’s that I’ve picked up on?
Do I believe this thought?
Is this thought accurate?
Is this thought realistic?
Are the barriers and threats really insurmountable?
What’s the worst that can happen?
Am I too harsh on myself?
What can I learn about this thought?
What belief is attached to this thought?
How can I reframe this thought to be more realistic and pragmatic?
How can I cheer myself up as I would a friend?
What’s an affirming baby step that I can take now to pick myself up and rectify this situation?

Idea for Impact: How you think about a condition influences how you feel about it. Often a thought-out, levelheaded analysis of the situation can unshackle the mind’s echo chamber and nudge you to think your way out of a problem and look beyond it.

Don’t Hide from Your Feelings, Accept Them

April 19, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When you’re feeling upset, angry, stressed, or sad, don’t deny, withhold, or hide from your feelings. Think about what it is that’s making you feel this way.

Emotional Acceptance refers to the willingness and ability to accept and experience negative emotions—to acknowledge and absorb them. Jan Chozen Bays, a pediatrician-turned Zen teacher, writes in Mindfulness on the Go: Simple Meditation Practices You Can Do Anywhere (2014,) a practical guide for engaging the mind,

A very important way to work with discomfort is to stop avoiding it. You will walk right into it and feel from within the body what is true. You investigate the discomfort—its size, shape, surface texture and even its color and sound. Is it constant or intermittent? When you are this attentive, when your meditative absorption is deep, what we call discomfort or pain begins to shift and even disappear. It becomes a series of sensations just appearing and disappearing in empty space, twinkling on and off. It is most interesting.

Mindfulness practice needn’t be just for negative emotions, either. Are you feeling happy and joyful? Calm and content? Apprehensive or remorseful? No matter the case, taking stock of how you’re feeling can help you realize that your emotions do not represent you. They don’t have to define your thoughts.

Practicing this self-reflective process regularly will help you better understand yourself, break negative patterns in your life, and react to emotional situations in a wholesome, more productive way.

Idea for Impact: Practice Emotional Acceptance—Feeling Bad Can Be Good

Emotional avoidance appears to be a reasonable thing to do. Yes, it provides momentary relief in the here and now. But emotional avoidance often involves denying the truth—and that isn’t a good foundation for a healthy life.

Over time, it only makes things worse to avoid the thing that scares you. Create the awareness to feel your feelings, label them, accept them, and then let them fade.

“What Am I Sad About?”

March 8, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When you’re struggling with sadness, part of your feelings may involve experiencing a lot of distress and shame about how sad you feel.

You probably won’t even realize it’s happening, but you’ll feel like “I shouldn’t be this sad” and that “my sadness is a weakness.”

It shouldn’t always feel like it’s just you.

When you acknowledge your sadness, you can actually perceive how you’re tunneling yourself into more gloom. Then you could do a much better job of accepting your sadness as it is, as the Bohemian-Austrian poet and novelist Rainer Maria Rilke reminds in the masterpiece Letters to a Young Poet (1929):

How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races – the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses. Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are only princesses waiting for us to act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.

So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises before you larger than any you’ve ever seen, if an anxiety like light and cloud shadows moves over your hands and everything that you do. You must realize that something has happened to you; that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hands and will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.

Thinking through “What am I sad about?” can help you get happier

Try to redirect the blame from yourself and recognize that sadness is a natural and reasonable response to the miseries of the world—some of them personal, some collective.

Yes, believing in yourself in the face of self-doubt can be challenging. But the extent of sadness isn’t immutable.

You can trigger a vast shift in how you feel by dropping self-criticism and embracing a more kind, non-judgmental relationship with yourself. Sadness isn’t a state of sin.

Change “I can’t do this” to “this will be a challenge for me; it’s normal to feel anxious.
Accept “I hate this” with “this is a tough situation to handle, and I’m doing my best.”
Persuade yourself to substitute “I hate myself” with “I’m overwhelmed with low self-esteem at the moment, and I need to cheer myself as I would a friend.”
Instead of repenting, “I can’t believe it slipped my mind again,” let yourself off by acknowledging, “it’s difficult to balance so many things. Perhaps I need to let go of some of them.”

Idea for Impact: Befriending your feelings and not identifying with these feelings as your self can affirm not only who you are but also what you believe you can be. Even when you feel disturbed because you’re falling back into past patterns, bear in mind that simply being aware that you’ve retreated into going over the past is a precursor of growth. Self-awareness can pave the way to a great leap forward in your personal transformation.

Start the Day with a Workout

January 7, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

People who exercise in the mornings rave about the positive benefits of morning exercise compared to working out later in the day.

Exercising improves blood flow to the brain. It gives you a more alert mind—helping you become more energized and more focused. The sense of accomplishment from a morning workout puts you in a better frame of mind, and you’ll feel mentally prepared to tackle the day’s challenges.
Exercise is shown to intensify the body’s metabolic rate for four to eight hours. If you work out in the morning, the resulting metabolism boost can last all through the most productive part of your day.
There’s some evidence that habits tend to establish more quickly if pursued in the mornings. The concentration of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone, is highest soon after you get up in the morning. Waking up earlier in the morning strengthens the body’s cortisol awakening response. One study proposed that cortisol blocks the prefrontal cortex in the brain, suggesting that consistent morning behavior is more likely to become habitual.
After slogging all day, your willpower to spend an hour at the gym peters out. Moreover, the more time you have to think, the more time you’ll have to come up with “justifications” for ducking out of a workout later in the day.
Waiting until later in the day to exercise also increases the likelihood that something will crop up and impede your plan. If you can be disciplined enough to go to bed sooner and wake up a little earlier, you can get a workout done before any distractions can emerge.

Idea for Impact: Could the benefits of a regular morning workout be worth sacrificing a few more minutes in a warm, cozy bed?

Don’t Cheat. Just Eat.

December 12, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you’re someone who likes to “cheat” over the holidays and indulge in calorie-rich festive treats, why think of food as yet another serving of shame?

Being out of shape isn’t a failure of character.

Guilt around food is not just pointless—it actually can be harmful. Distress can sabotage digestion. Research suggests that anxiety kicks your autonomic nervous system into high gear. The capacities of your digestive organs are subdued, and instead of metabolizing and assimilating your food, it’s processed less effectively. In other words, guilt—or any sort of negative self-judgment—can initiate stress signals and neurotransmitters. These hinder a healthy digestive response.

Eat whatever it is you want mindfully and let it make you happy. Indulging is part of what sets a holiday apart. As the Roman dramatist Terence counseled, “Everything in moderation” (to which the Irish playwright Oscar Wilde added, “… including moderation.”)

Also, stop “food policing” others.

Idea for Impact: Give Your Guilt a Holiday

Eat, drink, and be merry this holiday season. Yes, slackening up on your diet plan doesn’t feel great, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, either. However, labeling it “cheating” probably is. Your language matters!

When Work is Home and Home is Work

December 11, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

As much as you love lounging around all day in athleisure wear or plush robes, it’s easy to mix home- and work-life when working from home during the current pandemic.

Work is always available to you, and self-scheduling has caused work to spill over into non-work hours.

Have a designated workspace away from your personal life and personal tasks. That’ll create not only a physical barrier but a mental and social one as well.

When you practically live in your office, it’s hard for your brain to recognize when it’s okay to entirely shut down. Create some boundaries. Maintain regular office hours, switch off your computer and put it away, and disconnect completely.

Idea for Impact: Mindfully uphold boundaries from morning until evening. Follow a routine similar to the one you had before COVID-19 to accomplish your goals without losing your mind.

“Less is More” is True. 4-Day Workweek Is Better For Everyone.

December 7, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Unilever New Zealand announced last week that it would begin a one-year experiment to allow its staff of 81 to work four days per week while earning their full salaries: “The whole premise is not to do 40 hours in four days … Our goal is to measure performance on output, not time. We believe the old ways of working are outdated and no longer fit for purpose.” If successful, Unilever will roll this initiative out to 155,000 workers around the world.

Microsoft Japan tried 4-day workweeks for a month two summers ago and reported a 40 percent jump in productivity as measured by sales per employee (I think that isn’t a suitable metric.)

People aren’t entirely productive all the time.

I’m a big fan of letting employees think about how they can work differently and encouraging them to develop their own productivity measures. As British historian C. Northcote Parkinson posited in 1955, “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.”

Although, switching to four 10-hour days has its disadvantages. When Utah had its state employees work four 10-hour days from 2008 to 2011, many reported that they lost energy and focus in the last third of their workdays.

A reduced or even compressed week can give employees the benefits that matter the most—notably, the flexibility to organize their lives based on what matters most to them. Employers, in reality, borrow employees from everything else in their lives (hence the word ‘compensation.’)

Idea for Impact: Society needs to ratchet down the time people spend at work.

Once people come to terms with the fallacy of valuing work as an end in itself, the 4-day workweek’s appeal will spread, and it’ll springboard to bigger things. Karl Marx, Bertrand Russell, John Maynard Kaines, even recent U.S. presidential aspirant Andrew Yang have argued the merits of reducing the working week to help alleviate over-consumption, greenhouse gas emissions, overwork, unemployment, and other entrenched sociopolitical inequalities.

Some employers will undoubtedly use four-day workweeks as a pathway to get five days of work in four, push unpaid work, or reduce pay (58% of Americans are paid by the hour.)

Not all business models make the 4-day workweek possible, but businesses will become accustomed to the practicalities of ensuring customer needs are dealt with on all five days.

Make a Habit of Stepping Back from Work

November 10, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

“Busyness” often initiates as a lack of focus. Our culture has been seduced into thinking that we can achieve anything if we try harder and work longer.

Besides, good jobs are overwhelming. Many company cultures count on employees to compartmentalize their lives and prioritize work over all else. Managers expect that employees become what sociologists have identified as “ideal workers”: folks who are entirely dedicated to their jobs and are always on call, sometimes at great expense to their personal life. Such dedication is detrimental not just to employee wellbeing but also to the bottom line.

Being productive requires acknowledging that you can’t work for extended periods and maintain a high-performance level.

Make a habit of stepping back. Taking your mind off work can help you overcome mental blocks. Being productive requires creative thinking more than perseverance.

You’re more likely to find breakthrough ideas when you temporarily remove yourself from the grind. The best solutions uncover themselves when you step into the shower, go for a run, have lunch away from your desk, or set off on holiday.

Up the Good Stuff. To feel less burned-out, do a little more of the things you love and a smidgen less drudge work.
Seek Breathing Room. That’s a metaphor for space to catch up with yourself, regroup, think over whatever’s happening, and know how you feel and what to do next.
Thwart Decision Fatigue. You have a limited capacity for concentrating over extended periods. You can restore your executive function and overcome mental fatigue through interventions—short rest, engaging in creative purists, and increasing the body’s glucose levels.

Idea for Impact: If you want to get more done, start taking breaks. Busyness is very different from effectiveness.

Learn to Cope When You’re Stressed

September 14, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Stress is a normal part of life. On the whole, there’re two major forms of negative stress (“distress”): the stress concerned with loss (divorce, death of a loved one, failure) and the stress involved with threats to your sense of self, status, wellbeing, or security.

The actual physical symptoms—including faster heartbeat, elevated blood pressure, quickened breathing, upset stomach, muscle tension, chest pain, and increased perspiration—may be identical, regardless of the external stress factor. However, stress does manifest itself differently with everyone. If untreated, stress also brings on or worsens more than a few other symptoms or diseases.

Stress doesn’t just get better on its own. Here’re four things to do to gain control of your life’s stress before it can start controlling you.

Proactively reduce stress-causing events. Reduce exposure to people, situations, and triggers that initiate unjustifiable stress. Create rituals that can help you cope. Learn to confront those situations in manageable amounts—schedule your day, simplify your schedule, get more organized, and learn to say no to added commitments. Cut back on your obligations.
Improve your resiliency. Maintain good health and stamina. Eat a healthy diet, get adequate sleep, and exercise regularly. Take regular breaks and schedule vacations where you can totally disconnect. Sometimes, just being idle—even wasting time—can help you not only feel good but also recharge your mind and body.
Manage your reaction to stressful events. Learn how to relax, such as deep-breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and massage. Schedule time for calming exercises such as yoga, tai chi, and music or art therapy. Engage in a relaxing hobby or offer to volunteer in your community.
Reach out. Stress feeds on feelings and fears that we keep to ourselves. Stress causes you to lose objectivity about your situation. Often just talking to a trusted friend or relative—even a counselor—could help you look at things from a distance and work out coping mechanisms.

Idea for Impact: Integrate daily stress prevention.

You may not control all your stressors, but you can control how you react to those stressors. If your current stress management efforts aren’t effective enough, try something new.

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Health and Well-being

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Idea for Impact: Practice Emotional Acceptance—Feeling Bad Can Be Good

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It shouldn’t always feel like it’s just you.

Thinking through “What am I sad about?” can help you get happier

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Idea for Impact: Give Your Guilt a Holiday

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People aren’t entirely productive all the time.

Idea for Impact: Society needs to ratchet down the time people spend at work.

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Idea for Impact: Integrate daily stress prevention.

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