Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Health and Well-being

Compartmentalize and Get More Done

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One way you can achieve “living in the moment” is by putting your emotional issues into “compartments” within your head and your heart. You can deal with those feelings on your own when you need to.

Compartmentalize and Get More Done Many aspects of life can get you sidetracked and distraught. Finding a place to retreat within yourself can be challenging. By compartmentalizing, you can put your feelings where they belong, and you can earmark one challenge to tackle another challenge.

You can focus on the one task at hand and deal with the rest when appropriate.

Mental compartmentalization has a darker side, however. Psychologists identify extreme compartmentalization as a major defense mechanism by which some evade the acute anxiety that can spring from the clash of contradictory values or conflicting emotions. (A very pious scientist, for instance, could hold opposing beliefs about the Judeo-Christian and scientific notions of life’s origins. Compartmentalizing, she may live different value sets depending on whether she’s at church or her laboratory.) Some individuals also fall back on compartmentalization to cope with the lingering trauma of childhood abuse, neglect, and other emotional conflicts.

The day-to-day compartmentalization I’m talking about isn’t denial or avoidance. It isn’t evading conflicts and sidestepping problems—instead, it’s putting things out of the way for the moment and not letting them impede the rest of your life.

You can’t just ignore your issues and expect them to go away, but obsessing on them won’t help either.

Idea for Impact: Compartmentalize and get more done. Putting away the things that hurt or upset you, even if just for a short time, can also help you gain valuable perspective on dealing with them.

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The Dutch Practice of Doing Nothing: Niksen

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The Dutch have this practice they call Niksen (from niks doen, literally “nothing-ing.”) It entails being intentional about doing absolutely nothing. Doing something without purpose. A sort of sanctioned daydreaming indeed.

Niksen is gazing out the window and letting your mind wander. Unlike mindfulness meditation, in Niksen, you’re not observing your thoughts. You aren’t focusing on your breath. Nor are you bringing awareness back to the present moment.

In Niksen, you’re just being. You’re taking a break. You’re practicing stillness. You’re staring vacantly at the horizon. You’re taking the time to sit or stand—just be wherever you are. And you don’t do anything on purpose. No effort whatsoever. When thoughts occur, you don’t interrogate them; you simply let them come and go as they please.

Niksen - Dutch Technique of Doing Nothing, Just Being

As a stress-busting technique, Niksen is increasingly popular. Doing nothing is turning your back on hyper-connectedness and the storm of stress, anxiety, and depression. Scientists have shown that letting your minds escape from the task at hand helps different parts of your brain activate. This allows you to access information that may have previously been dormant and inaccessible. This accounts for creativity and heralds insights into wisdom.

Idea for Impact: Try Niksen, even for a minute or two each hour. It’s a great way to give yourself a little bit of wiggle room in moments of tension and fretfulness. At a minimum, brief escapes can add color and intrigue to your life and open you out beyond the quotidian.

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The Reason Why Weight Watchers Works whereas ‘DIY Dieting’ Fails

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Weight Watchers (WW) was born from an unmet personal need, as is true with many businesses. Founder Jean Nidetch had struggled with her weight all her life. In her late 30s, she went to a city-run obesity clinic in New York and finally lost the weight she wanted.

Jean Nidetch, Founder of Weight Watchers (WW) Then, when her resolve to maintain a healthy weight wavered, Nidetch recognized that losing weight is easier if she weren’t doing it by herself. Dieting is more than “calories in, calories out.” Eating the right number of calories and exercising doesn’t always work. It isn’t the occasional overindulgence that creates obesity; it’s the steady over-eating—often in surprisingly small amounts.

Helping People Change Their Behavior through Support and Motivation

According to Memoir of a Successful Loser: The Story of Weight Watchers (1970,) Nidetch realized that what people struggling to keep a diet program needed was one another. Dieters needed a space to talk openly about their diet struggles and became answerable to one another.

Determined to stay on track, Nidetch started with the diet that the obesity clinic had given her. She mimeographed it and handed it out to a group of six overweight but determined friends that she invited to her apartment in the Queens. At the first meeting, Nidetch confessed to an addiction to cookies. Her friends sympathized and shared their own calorific woes. Everyone had a good time, and the group agreed to meet the following week again.

Nidetch’s pattern of programming and social support spread quickly. Meetings grew in size. When Nidetch ran out of chairs, she shifted the sessions to a formal assembly room. Weight Watchers was thus born.

The Reason Why Weight Watchers Works whereas 'DIY Dieting' Fails

Group Cheerleaders Can Go a Long Way toward Keeping Motivation Alive

Weight Watchers has outlasted many fad diets, and it continues to be a popular program. People go to Weight Watchers because it works. The program makes its members think of the regimen not as a diet but as a different way of living.

Collectively, members feel positively about their desire to lose weight. They offer support and grant forgiveness for failures to lose weight. Members aren’t thinking of restrictions; they’re thinking of flexibility and abundance. If they tend to be foodies, they don’t need to stop enjoying food.

Weight Watchers groups meet weekly. (7,000 coaches run the meetings.) Each member contributes. Everyone feels invested in accomplishments. The group celebrates as one.

The robust process of celebrating and retelling success stories reinforces the shared goal of pushing limits. In addition, the interaction helps with accountability and encourages participants to stick with their goals.

Idea for Impact: Purpose is good. Shared purpose is better.

Shared interests get us, humans, to show up and be present. We need structure, tools, and support to be successful. We need a community because the fellowship of others with a shared empowering purpose gives us the accountability and inspiration that motivates us to lose weight—or bring about any lasting change.

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Mental Health Issues are Much More Common Than Acknowledged

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Japanese tennis superstar Naomi Osaka generated enormous attention when she withdrew from the French Open earlier this month. Osaka was penalized $15,000 by the organizers and threatened with expulsion for refusing the mandatory media assignments required by the tournament’s rules. (Osaka has announced that she’ll skip the Wimbledon, too, for personal reasons.)

Mental Health Issues are Much More Common Than Acknowledged

Osaka said she experiences “huge waves of anxiety” before speaking to the media and revealed that she has “suffered long bouts of depression.” She framed her decision as a mental health issue, declaring that answering questions after a loss can create self-doubt.

Osaka’s withdrawal has brought to the fore the fact that celebrities—just like regular people—struggle with mental wellness at work. No one is immune.

Osaka must be admired for talking about mental hardship openly. Her actions empower others with anxiety and depression to take care of mental health first.

It’s very human to be terrified of stuff that makes us very vulnerable. Not everybody is comfortable with public speaking, and few people feel they’re good at it. And, more to Osaka’s point, almost everyone hates talking publicly about what they did wrong after a defeat or a setback.

Idea for Impact: Bringing depression out of the shadows is a tough thing to do. Nobody has the right to invalidate or question how someone is trying to cope, especially when they’ve been strong enough to open up about it.

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  5. Think Your Way Out of a Negative Thought

Think Your Way Out of a Negative Thought

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Think Your Way Out of a Negative Thought

The human mind can become more blinkered in times of emotional turmoil.

The reasons for negative thoughts aren’t always logical, but challenging the stimuli with the following probing questions can help you reappraise the situation and distance yourself from the negative thoughts.

  • What am I concerned about?
  • Is this thought mine or someone else’s that I’ve picked up on?
  • Do I believe this thought?
  • Is this thought accurate?
  • Is this thought realistic?
  • Are the barriers and threats really insurmountable?
  • What’s the worst that can happen?
  • Am I too harsh on myself?
  • What can I learn about this thought?
  • What belief is attached to this thought?
  • How can I reframe this thought to be more realistic and pragmatic?
  • How can I cheer myself up as I would a friend?
  • What’s an affirming baby step that I can take now to pick myself up and rectify this situation?

Idea for Impact: How you think about a condition influences how you feel about it. Often a thought-out, levelheaded analysis of the situation can unshackle the mind’s echo chamber and nudge you to think your way out of a problem and look beyond it.

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Don’t Hide from Your Feelings, Accept Them

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Emotional Acceptance---Don't Hide from Your Feelings, Accept Them When you’re feeling upset, angry, stressed, or sad, don’t deny, withhold, or hide from your feelings. Think about what it is that’s making you feel this way.

Emotional Acceptance refers to the willingness and ability to accept and experience negative emotions—to acknowledge and absorb them. Jan Chozen Bays, a pediatrician-turned Zen teacher, writes in Mindfulness on the Go: Simple Meditation Practices You Can Do Anywhere (2014,) a practical guide for engaging the mind,

A very important way to work with discomfort is to stop avoiding it. You will walk right into it and feel from within the body what is true. You investigate the discomfort—its size, shape, surface texture and even its color and sound. Is it constant or intermittent? When you are this attentive, when your meditative absorption is deep, what we call discomfort or pain begins to shift and even disappear. It becomes a series of sensations just appearing and disappearing in empty space, twinkling on and off. It is most interesting.

Mindfulness practice needn’t be just for negative emotions, either. Are you feeling happy and joyful? Calm and content? Apprehensive or remorseful? No matter the case, taking stock of how you’re feeling can help you realize that your emotions do not represent you. They don’t have to define your thoughts.

Practicing this self-reflective process regularly will help you better understand yourself, break negative patterns in your life, and react to emotional situations in a wholesome, more productive way.

Idea for Impact: Practice Emotional Acceptance—Feeling Bad Can Be Good

Emotional avoidance appears to be a reasonable thing to do. Yes, it provides momentary relief in the here and now. But emotional avoidance often involves denying the truth—and that isn’t a good foundation for a healthy life.

Over time, it only makes things worse to avoid the thing that scares you. Create the awareness to feel your feelings, label them, accept them, and then let them fade.

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“What Am I Sad About?”

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When you’re struggling with sadness, part of your feelings may involve experiencing a lot of distress and shame about how sad you feel.

You probably won’t even realize it’s happening, but you’ll feel like “I shouldn’t be this sad” and that “my sadness is a weakness.”

Befriending your feelings and feeling your emotions

It shouldn’t always feel like it’s just you.

When you acknowledge your sadness, you can actually perceive how you’re tunneling yourself into more gloom. Then you could do a much better job of accepting your sadness as it is, as the Bohemian-Austrian poet and novelist Rainer Maria Rilke reminds in the masterpiece Letters to a Young Poet (1929):

How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races – the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses. Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are only princesses waiting for us to act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.

So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises before you larger than any you’ve ever seen, if an anxiety like light and cloud shadows moves over your hands and everything that you do. You must realize that something has happened to you; that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hands and will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.

Thinking through “What am I sad about?” can help you get happier

Try to redirect the blame from yourself and recognize that sadness is a natural and reasonable response to the miseries of the world—some of them personal, some collective.

Yes, believing in yourself in the face of self-doubt can be challenging. But the extent of sadness isn’t immutable.

Thinking through Sadness with Self-Compassion You can trigger a vast shift in how you feel by dropping self-criticism and embracing a more kind, non-judgmental relationship with yourself. Sadness isn’t a state of sin.

  • Change “I can’t do this” to “this will be a challenge for me; it’s normal to feel anxious.
  • Accept “I hate this” with “this is a tough situation to handle, and I’m doing my best.”
  • Persuade yourself to substitute “I hate myself” with “I’m overwhelmed with low self-esteem at the moment, and I need to cheer myself as I would a friend.”
  • Instead of repenting, “I can’t believe it slipped my mind again,” let yourself off by acknowledging, “it’s difficult to balance so many things. Perhaps I need to let go of some of them.”

Idea for Impact: Befriending your feelings and not identifying with these feelings as your self can affirm not only who you are but also what you believe you can be. Even when you feel disturbed because you’re falling back into past patterns, bear in mind that simply being aware that you’ve retreated into going over the past is a precursor of growth. Self-awareness can pave the way to a great leap forward in your personal transformation.

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Start the Day with a Workout

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Start the Day with a Workout People who exercise in the mornings rave about the positive benefits of morning exercise compared to working out later in the day.

  • Exercising improves blood flow to the brain. It gives you a more alert mind—helping you become more energized and more focused. The sense of accomplishment from a morning workout puts you in a better frame of mind, and you’ll feel mentally prepared to tackle the day’s challenges.
  • Exercise is shown to intensify the body’s metabolic rate for four to eight hours. If you work out in the morning, the resulting metabolism boost can last all through the most productive part of your day.
  • There’s some evidence that habits tend to establish more quickly if pursued in the mornings. The concentration of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone, is highest soon after you get up in the morning. Waking up earlier in the morning strengthens the body’s cortisol awakening response. One study proposed that cortisol blocks the prefrontal cortex in the brain, suggesting that consistent morning behavior is more likely to become habitual.
  • After slogging all day, your willpower to spend an hour at the gym peters out. Moreover, the more time you have to think, the more time you’ll have to come up with “justifications” for ducking out of a workout later in the day.
  • Waiting until later in the day to exercise also increases the likelihood that something will crop up and impede your plan. If you can be disciplined enough to go to bed sooner and wake up a little earlier, you can get a workout done before any distractions can emerge.

Idea for Impact: Could the benefits of a regular morning workout be worth sacrificing a few more minutes in a warm, cozy bed?

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Don’t Cheat. Just Eat.

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Calorie-Rich Festive Treats: Don't Cheat, Just Eat If you’re someone who likes to “cheat” over the holidays and indulge in calorie-rich festive treats, why think of food as yet another serving of shame?

Being out of shape isn’t a failure of character.

Guilt around food is not just pointless—it actually can be harmful. Distress can sabotage digestion. Research suggests that anxiety kicks your autonomic nervous system into high gear. The capacities of your digestive organs are subdued, and instead of metabolizing and assimilating your food, it’s processed less effectively. In other words, guilt—or any sort of negative self-judgment—can initiate stress signals and neurotransmitters. These hinder a healthy digestive response.

Eat whatever it is you want mindfully and let it make you happy. Indulging is part of what sets a holiday apart. As the Roman dramatist Terence counseled, “Everything in moderation” (to which the Irish playwright Oscar Wilde added, “… including moderation.”)

Also, stop “food policing” others.

Idea for Impact: Give Your Guilt a Holiday

Eat, drink, and be merry this holiday season. Yes, slackening up on your diet plan doesn’t feel great, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, either. However, labeling it “cheating” probably is. Your language matters!

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When Work is Home and Home is Work

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Working From Home - Set Boundaries As much as you love lounging around all day in athleisure wear or plush robes, it’s easy to mix home- and work-life when working from home during the current pandemic.

Work is always available to you, and self-scheduling has caused work to spill over into non-work hours.

Have a designated workspace away from your personal life and personal tasks. That’ll create not only a physical barrier but a mental and social one as well.

When you practically live in your office, it’s hard for your brain to recognize when it’s okay to entirely shut down. Create some boundaries. Maintain regular office hours, switch off your computer and put it away, and disconnect completely.

Idea for Impact: Mindfully uphold boundaries from morning until evening. Follow a routine similar to the one you had before COVID-19 to accomplish your goals without losing your mind.

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