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Ideas for Impact

Nagesh Belludi

Entitlement and Anger Go Together

July 15, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Exaggerated entitlement could possibly explain what’s driving the recent surge of abusive or violent incidents on flights in America.

We live in a time where everyone seems hypervigilant to the point where even a slight snub can be taken as an act of deliberate aggression—either reactively or without provocation. People want to assert themselves, and every little social interaction seems to turn quickly into a battleground of entitlement.

Self-Protective Efforts Heighten Entitlement

To make things worse, air travel sits at the confluence of so many things involving so many people (and circumstances) where each “participant” has little direct control over what’s happening to them and others around. Political polarization and mask mandates seem to have intensified these anxieties too. Moreover, the FAA’s zero-tolerance policy toward disturbances and the threat of massive fines are unlikely to disincentivize passengers and staff in the heat of the moment.

When people feel entitled, they’re not just frustrated when others fail to acknowledge and entertain—even listen to—their presumed superior rights. People feel deceived and wronged. They feel victimized, get angry, and exude hostility. Worse, they feel even more justified in their demands and thus assume an even stronger sense of entitlement as compensation.

Idea for Impact: Entitlement and Responsibility are Inextricably Linked

Underlying this kind of anger process is a lack of separation of rights from responsibility. No professional, social, or domestic environment can remain stable and peaceful without everyone respecting the fact that rights and responsibilities are inseparable.

Nobody is entitled to compassion or fair treatment without acting on the responsibility to give it to others. If you don’t care about how others feel, you can’t demand that they care about how you feel. It’s a formula for disaster in human interactions.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Leading Teams, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Attitudes, Conflict, Conversations, Emotions, Getting Along, Listening, Mindfulness, Persuasion, Social Dynamics, Stress

Commitment, Not Compliance

July 12, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

For some managers, fear is a dirty little secret … they use it when they are either unwilling or unable to persuade employees to work together to achieve goals.

Fear gets results but it does so at a cost. Fear is saps enthusiasm and stifles constructive deliberation.

  • Step back and work with your employee to determine performance objectives, goals, and priorities. Then, let your employee translate those objectives into tasks and determine how best to perform the task.
  • Don’t interfere excessively or micromanage. Don’t insist that there’s only “one best way” to do the job. Trust employees to make the right choices to reach the end result.
  • Don’t be a pushover, either. Be tough where you must be, kind where you can be. Managers can be strong without instilling fear. Be steadfast and unrelenting in your quest for getting results.
  • Let the employee customize the job to reflect her strengths and weaknesses to the extent possible, without compromising the core contributions expected of her role. Allowing the maximum possible use of your employees’ motivated abilities to achieve targeted results will not only use strengths to the maximum, but also drives intrinsic job satisfaction.
  • Take the time to get to know each employee’s unique set of talents. Try to dole out the available work to best match your employees’ talents.
  • Share the glory. Giving others a chance to claim credit is an easy, and effective, way to get results. As Dale Carnegie wrote masterful self-help manual How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936,) be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” Learn to overlook small mistakes, but address problems before they escalate.

Idea for Impact: There is potentially no more powerful motivator than the intrinsic satisfaction that an employee could gain from autonomy under structure, and from using one’s motivated talents. Find ways to entice commitment from your employees. Don’t force compliance by virtue of authority.

Wondering what to read next?

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  3. The #1 Learning from Sun Tzu’s Art of War: Avoid Battle
  4. Don’t Manage with Fear
  5. Do You Have an Unhealthy Obsession with Excellence?

Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Coaching, Delegation, Negotiation, Persuasion

Inspirational Quotations #901

July 11, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

I always say beauty is only sin deep.
—Saki (Hector Hugh Munro) (British Short Story Writer)

Only by standing on their shoulders can we build a better world, but we should use the wise as advisers, not masters.
—William Coperthwaite (American Builder, Designer)

There are as many paths to God as there are stars in the firmament, or pores in body; searching through any one of them a true seeker can find Him, feel satisfied and can sing his achievement.
—Malik Muhammad Jayasi (Indian Poet)

If a man coaches himself, then he has only himself to blame when he is beaten.
—Roger Bannister (British Athlete, Neurologist)

Personal information is increasingly used to enforce standards of behavior. Information processing is developing, therefore, into an essential element of long-term strategies of manipulation intended to mold and adjust individual conduct.
—Shoshana Zuboff (American Social Psychologist)

The most subtle flattery a woman can receive is that conveyed by actions, not by words.
—Suzanne Curchod (French-Swiss Salonist, Writer)

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.
—Rick Warren (American Evangelical Pastor)

A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.
—Gloria Stuart (American Actress)

In what light soever we regard the Bible, whether with reference to revelation, to history, or to morality, it is an invaluable and inexhaustible mine of knowledge and virtue.
—John Quincy Adams (American Head of State)

The sage, who is living outside the routine of the world, contemplates his own character, not as an isolated ego manifestation, but in relation to the laws of life. He judges freedom from blame to be the highest good.
—I Ching (Ancient Chinese Divination Text)

Victory becomes, to some degree, a state of mind. Knowing ourselves superior to the anxieties, troubles, and worries which obsess us, we are superior to them.
—Basil King (Canadian Clergyman)

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
—Dorothy Day (American Journalist Reformer)

Well, love is insanity. The ancient Greeks knew that. It is the taking over of a rational and lucid mind by delusion and self-destruction. You lose yourself, you have no power over yourself, you can’t even think straight.
—Marilyn French (American Feminist Author)

One of the grandest things in having rights is that though they are your rights you may give them up.
—George MacDonald (Scottish Poet, Novelist)

The most successful businessman is the man who holds onto the old just as long as it is good and grabs the new just as soon as it is better.
—Waid Vanderpoel (American Financier, Conservationist)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

The #1 Thing Top Salespeople Do

July 8, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It is astonishing how many salespeople aim for nothing and hit it every time.

Average salespeople often don’t have a written “game plan” for every sales call. They may have only a vague idea of how to go about their sales call. They usually wing it and hope for the best. They fail to plan and thus plan to fail.

Planning a sales call is vital because it gives you a framework to understand your customer’s buying motivations. You can have “value summaries” at hand to evoke her interest.

  • Establish the call objectives. What do you want to accomplish? Review your Customer Relationship Management (CRM) system, meeting notes, or whatever method you use to manage interactions with customers. Reexamine what was discussed the last time you met with the customer. What are her pain points? What might she need that she’s not asking for?
  • Develop a list of questions you’re going to ask. These questions should guide the “needs analysis” phase of the sales process—they shape her buying criteria. Being ready with prepared questions help minimize the amount of close-ended questions you’ll ask your customer.
  • Review what you can “value add” to your customers to incentivize getting more business from them. A “value add” could be anything from extending warranties, training staff, selling pre-assembled products, customizing products, providing financing, etc.
  • Think through what resistance you may anticipate. List possible objections that could stall a sale: bad timing, budgetary constraints, new leadership, market uncertainty, etc. Develop a go-to response for each challenge. Ask yourself, “How can I help the customer get past this resistance?”

Planning a sales call helps you get in the shoes of the person you’re trying to sell to and sell it from their perspective.

Idea for Impact: Always have a plan for a sales call. No matter how rushed you are, how well you know a customer, or how routine the call might be, plan the call. Never wing it. Great brands aren’t measured by units sold but relationships built.

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  5. Think of a Customer’s Complaint as a Gift

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Asking Questions, Conversations, Customer Service, Persuasion, Problem Solving

Choosing Your Leadership Style: Detail-Orientation

July 5, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

As Amazon’s Andy Jassy takes over the reins from Jeff Bezos, the Wall Street Journal has a profile of Jassy’s ultra-detail-oriented management style:

Former colleagues say Mr. Jassy would spend enormous amounts of time on the narrowest of details if he thought it was important. … When an AWS data center in Virginia was hit by a major outage, Mr. Jassy personally got involved in figuring out the problem. It turned out a technician had been checking a generator and the door accidentally bumped into a switch, shutting it off. Mr. Jassy dug into the incident and pressed the team to redesign the generators. When the CEO is digging at that level, everyone at the company starts to dig at the same level.

Flexibility and a detail-oriented mindset are leadership qualities that Jassy shares with Bezos. As at many founder-led firms, Amazon’s corporate culture has mimicked these traits, and the colossus has historically been able to jump on opportunities quickly and quality-control its organizational capabilities.

Idea for Impact: A fundamental duty of leadership is to guide an organization’s collective awareness. Attention to detail (without micromanagement) matters. When leaders don’t really care about the details and are content to produce low-quality work, their teams will start to do, too.

In areas where influential leaders aren’t detail-focused, they have somebody on their teams that does. Apple’s Steve Jobs famously focused on creativity and innovation while relying on Tim Cook and his tight-knit team of operations executives to run Apple’s operations.

Wondering what to read next?

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Filed Under: Business Stories, Leading Teams, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Amazon, Jeff Bezos, Leadership, Problem Solving

Inspirational Quotations #900

July 4, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

We have a problem. “Congratulations.” But it’s a tough problem. “Then double congratulations.”
—W. Clement Stone (American Self-help Guru)

Why are we born? We’re born eventually to die, of course. But what happens between the time we’re born and we die? We’re born to live. One is a realist if one hopes.
—Studs Terkel (American Oral Historian)

Does history repeat itself, the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce? No, that’s too grand, too considered a process. History just burps, and we taste again that raw-onion sandwich it swallowed centuries ago.
—Julian Barnes (British Novelist, Critic)

Make good use of bad rubbish.
—Elisabeth Beresford (British Children’s Writer)

What we think of as our sensitivity is only the higher evolution of terror in a poor dumb beast. We suffer for nothing. Our own death wish is our only real tragedy.
—Mario Puzo (American Novelist)

The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret.
—Henri Frederic Amiel (Swiss Philosopher, Writer)

Men freely believe that which they desire.
—Julius Caesar (Roman Ruler)

We’ve made great medical progress in the last generation. What used to be merely an itch is now an allergy.
—Modern Proverb

Weary the path that does not challenge. Doubt is an incentive to truth and patient inquiry leadeth the way.
—Hosea Ballou (American Theologian)

He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.
—Harold Wilson (British Political Leader)

Until the rise of American advertising, it never occurred to anyone anywhere in the world that the teenager was a captive in a hostile world of adults.
—Gore Vidal (American Novelist)

Magic becomes art when it has nothing to hide.
—Ben Okri (Nigerian Novelist, Poet)

Virtue is more clearly shown in the performance of fine actions than in the non-performance of base ones.
—Aristotle (Ancient Greek Philosopher)

Turning away from the world and toward your own happiness is the path of authenticity.
—Sarah Ban Breathnach (American Self-help Author)

The individual activity of one man with backbone will do more than a thousand men with a mere wishbone.
—William J. H. Boetcker (American Presbyterian Minister)

You don’t understand anything until you learn it more than one way.
—Marvin Minsky (American Computer Scientist)

The horse does abominate the camel; the mighty elephant is afraid of a mouse; and they say that the lion, which scorneth to turn his back upon the stoutest animal, will tremble at the crowing of a cock.
—Increase Mather (American Theologian)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

The Reason Why Weight Watchers Works whereas ‘DIY Dieting’ Fails

July 1, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Weight Watchers (WW) was born from an unmet personal need, as is true with many businesses. Founder Jean Nidetch had struggled with her weight all her life. In her late 30s, she went to a city-run obesity clinic in New York and finally lost the weight she wanted.

Then, when her resolve to maintain a healthy weight wavered, Nidetch recognized that losing weight is easier if she weren’t doing it by herself. Dieting is more than “calories in, calories out.” Eating the right number of calories and exercising doesn’t always work. It isn’t the occasional overindulgence that creates obesity; it’s the steady over-eating—often in surprisingly small amounts.

Helping People Change Their Behavior through Support and Motivation

According to Memoir of a Successful Loser: The Story of Weight Watchers (1970,) Nidetch realized that what people struggling to keep a diet program needed was one another. Dieters needed a space to talk openly about their diet struggles and became answerable to one another.

Determined to stay on track, Nidetch started with the diet that the obesity clinic had given her. She mimeographed it and handed it out to a group of six overweight but determined friends that she invited to her apartment in the Queens. At the first meeting, Nidetch confessed to an addiction to cookies. Her friends sympathized and shared their own calorific woes. Everyone had a good time, and the group agreed to meet the following week again.

Nidetch’s pattern of programming and social support spread quickly. Meetings grew in size. When Nidetch ran out of chairs, she shifted the sessions to a formal assembly room. Weight Watchers was thus born.

Group Cheerleaders Can Go a Long Way toward Keeping Motivation Alive

Weight Watchers has outlasted many fad diets, and it continues to be a popular program. People go to Weight Watchers because it works. The program makes its members think of the regimen not as a diet but as a different way of living.

Collectively, members feel positively about their desire to lose weight. They offer support and grant forgiveness for failures to lose weight. Members aren’t thinking of restrictions; they’re thinking of flexibility and abundance. If they tend to be foodies, they don’t need to stop enjoying food.

Weight Watchers groups meet weekly. (7,000 coaches run the meetings.) Each member contributes. Everyone feels invested in accomplishments. The group celebrates as one.

The robust process of celebrating and retelling success stories reinforces the shared goal of pushing limits. In addition, the interaction helps with accountability and encourages participants to stick with their goals.

Idea for Impact: Purpose is good. Shared purpose is better.

Shared interests get us, humans, to show up and be present. We need structure, tools, and support to be successful. We need a community because the fellowship of others with a shared empowering purpose gives us the accountability and inspiration that motivates us to lose weight—or bring about any lasting change.

Wondering what to read next?

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being Tagged With: Change Management, Coaching, Discipline, Goals, Mindfulness, Motivation, Persuasion

Don’t Quit Your Job Just Yet

June 28, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

As the pandemic subsides, many people are quitting their jobs after being summoned back to the office. A common motive is a life and career reorientation.

During the pandemic, many people started examining work in the context of meaning in life. Isolated from co-workers and customers, they started to feel like their jobs became just the work itself. Some are burned out and dread retreating to the daily life of distractions, commutes, and long office hours—often at the expense of flexibility and family and personal wellbeing.

Overall, people have used the space and time to reflect upon their lives and explore their life priorities. They’ve aspired to take some time off and figure out what they really want to do. Now, they feel like they can afford to take risks and try something new. The money they’ve saved up from lower everyday expenditures during the pandemic can tide them through the transition time.

If you’re thinking of taking a break from work now, don’t quit your job just yet. Give your employer a chance to address your concerns and preferences. Discuss your ambitions for change. Most managers are willing to make the necessary changes and explore hybrid work alternatives. Even if your current situation doesn’t fully jibe with your life’s goals, you could find a suitable sweet spot.

Idea for Impact: Don’t quit until you’ve established yourself in the future path. If you want to take some time off, have a plan ready. If you have the itch to become an entrepreneur, first get your stakes on a side hustle.

Don’t sacrifice that steady paycheck until you’re well positioned for what you want to do next. It usually takes you a lot longer than you think to find a new job, become self-employed, or prepare for a meaningful sabbatical.

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  5. Beyond Money’s Grasp: A Deeper Drive to Success

Filed Under: Career Development, Living the Good Life, Personal Finance Tagged With: Balance, Personal Growth, Work-Life

Inspirational Quotations #899

June 27, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi

The habit of common and continuous speech is a symptom of mental deficiency. It proceeds from not knowing what is going on in other people’s minds.
—Walter Bagehot (English Economist, Journalist)

As if reasoning were any kind of writing or talking which tends to convince people that some doctrine or measure is true and right.
—Catharine Beecher (American Educationalist, Reformer)

Great people aren’t those who are happy at times of convenience and content, but of how they are in times of catastrophe and controversy.
—Martin Luther King, Jr. (American Civil Rights Leader)

Oppression involves a failure of the imagination: the failure to imagine the full humanity of other human beings.
—Margaret Atwood (Canadian Author)

Solvency is entirely a matter of temperament, not of income.
—Logan Pearsall Smith (American-British Essayist)

To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.
—Alan Watts (British-American Philosopher)

I find I’m luckier when I work harder.
—Denton Cooley (American Surgeon)

If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.
—Paul McCartney (British Pop Musician)

Given that external reality is a fiction, the writer’s role is almost superfluous. He does not need to invent the fiction because it is already there.
—J. G. Ballard (English Novelist)

He that has a penny in his purse, is worth a penny: Have and you shall be esteemed.
—Petronius (Roman Courtier)

Ignorance and obscurantism have never produced anything other than flocks of slaves for tyranny.
—Emiliano Zapata (Mexican Revolutionary)

It is not the weight of the future or the past that is pressing upon you, but ever that of the present alone. Even this burden, too, can be lessened if you confine it strictly to its own limits.
—Marcus Aurelius (Emperor of Rome, Stoic Philosopher)

Remember that there is a meaning beyond absurdity. Be sure that every little deed counts, that every word has power. Never forget that you can still do your share to redeem the world in spite of all absurdities and frustrations and disappointments.
—Abraham Joshua Heschel (American Jewish Rabbi)

If not excellence, what? If not excellence now, when?
—Tom Peters (American Management Consultant)

Our great men have written words of wisdom to be used when hardship must be faced. Life obliges us with hardship so the words of wisdom shouldn’t go to waste.
—Jerry Bock (American Composer)

In philosophy if you aren’t moving at a snail’s pace you aren’t moving at all.
—Iris Murdoch (British Novelist, Philosopher)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

A Train Journey Through Philosophy: Summary of Eric Weiner’s ‘Socrates Express’

June 24, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Journalist and author Eric Weiner’s The Socrates Express: In Search of Life Lessons from Dead Philosophers (2020) is a travelogue, memoir, and self-help book all rolled into one. It’s a distillation of the teachings of 14 great philosophers.

'Socrates Express' by Eric Weiner (ISBN 1501129015) The “Express” isn’t just part of a catchy title. Each chapter starts with a wisdom-seeking train journey that Weiner took to locations where past great philosophers lived, worked, and thought (or are studied.) This introductory vignette orients Weiner’s study of these philosophers’ concepts: how to wonder like Socrates, see like Thoreau, listen like Schopenhauer, have no regrets like Nietzsche, fight like Gandhi, grow old like Beauvoir, cope with hardship like Epictetus, and so on.

The insights resonate with a fresh vibrancy for our problems today. Gandhi (on “how to fight”) believed that individuals who resorted to violence did so from a failure of imagination. Gandhi’s most significant fight was the fight to change the way we fight. He taught that a perpetrator of violence, “unwilling to do the hard work of problem-solving, he throws a punch or reaches for a gun.”

Weiner packs just enough background details on the philosophers’ life stories and how their intellectual traditions are rooted in the context of their times. Stoicism, for example, evolved when ancient Greece’s city-states were facing sociopolitical uncertainty.

The slave-turned-philosopher Epictetus distilled Stoicism to its essence with the dictum, “Some things are up to us, and some are not up to us.” Weiner writes, “Most of what happens in our life is not up to us, except our internal reactions to those events. The Stoics have a word for anything that lies beyond our control: “indifferents.” … Their presence doesn’t add one iota to our character or our happiness. They are neither good nor bad. The Stoic, therefore, is “indifferent” to them.”

Indifference, thus, is an empowering philosophy. With outward events, we are less powerful than we think, but with our reactions, we’re much more powerful.

There’s a scene in the movie Lawrence of Arabia where Lawrence, played by Peter O’Toole, calmly extinguishes a match between his thumb and forefinger.

A fellow officer tries it himself, and squeals in pain. “Ouch, it damn well hurts,” he says.

“Certainly it hurts,” replies Lawrence.

“Well, what’s the trick, then?”

“The trick,” says Lawrence, “is not minding that it hurts.”

Lawrence’s response was Stoic. Sure, he felt the pain, yet it remained a raw sensory sensation, a reflex. It never metastasized into a full-blown emotion. Lawrence didn’t mind the pain, in the literal sense of the word: he didn’t allow his mind to experience, and amplify, what his body had felt.

Socrates Express won’t be the most exhaustive philosophy book we can access. Moreover, as we read through, it’s helpful to have some prior appreciation for what we’re reading. For philosophers we’ve studied best, Weiner’s prose will reiterate the key findings. (That was Gandhi, Epictetus, Thoreau, Confucius, and Aurelius, for me.) The other chapters will seem comparatively less insightful.

Ultimately, Weiner reminds what we should be really looking for isn’t knowledge but wisdom. The difference, he says, is that, while information is a jumble of facts and knowledge is a more organized clutter of facts, wisdom is something else altogether. Wisdom “untangles the facts, makes sense of them and crucially, suggests how best to use them.” Put succinctly, “knowledge knows. Wisdom sees.”

Weiner’s prose meanders, it ventures down sidetracks, it stops frequently, it staggers, and it distracts. And it never arrives anywhere. And that’s the whole point. “The Socrates Express” begins in wonder—as does philosophy. The journey never ends—the quest for wisdom is ongoing. By the end, if, at Weiner’s prompting, philosophic thought has done its best, the curiosity of the journey has evoked remains.

Recommendation: Read Eric Weiner’s Socrates Express. It’s an engaging reminder that many philosophical systems are not just academic abstractions whose real meaning is lost in the minutiae.

Weiner’s prose invites us to start “questioning not only what we know but who we are, in hopes of eliciting a radical shift in perspective.” Socrates Express is a reminder that philosophy ultimately isn’t a cure-all for our current or future woes. Instead, philosophy is worthwhile because it builds immunity against negligent judgments and unentitled certitude. And it’s as relevant today as it’s ever been.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What It Means to Lead a Philosophical Life
  2. Bertrand Russell on The Value of Philosophy: Doubt in an Age of Dogma
  3. Why Philosophy Matters
  4. Gandhi on the Doctrine of Ahimsa + Non-Violence in Buddhism
  5. Conscience is A Flawed Compass

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Ethics, Gandhi, Philosophy, Questioning, Stoicism, Virtues

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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