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Ideas for Impact

Nagesh Belludi

Think Before You Commit: Say ‘Yes’ Slowly

August 25, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When presented with a request, avoid hastily agreeing and later regretting it. Instead, use this simple hack to prevent impulsive commitments: slow the conversation by posing questions.

Seek clarification regarding the specifics, time frame, and whether others have been approached. If you can only manage a portion of the task, inquire where your involvement would be most beneficial.

These questions allow you to gather more information and organize your thoughts. They will compel you to reconsider before biting off more than you can chew.

Undoing a default ‘yes’ is considerably more challenging than refraining from giving one initially. Revoking your commitment may result in even greater disappointment for the other person.

Idea for Impact: It’s tempting to say ‘yes’ to every demand imposed upon us by others. However, it is essential to reserve your ‘yes’for the right things. Respond with a deliberate and thoughtful ‘yes.’ Remember, every ‘no’ signifies a ‘yes’to something significant.

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  4. Buy Yourself Time
  5. Don’t Say “Yes” When You Really Want to Say “No”

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Decision-Making, Likeability, Negotiation, Persuasion

Don’t Overemphasize Hitting Financial Targets

August 24, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Research shows placing too much focus on hitting financial targets can have negative effects on employee morale. It can even lead to unethical behavior, such as cutting corners or falsifying data, which can ultimately harm the company’s reputation and financial performance.

When conversations constantly revolve around financial metrics, employees may feel like they’re reduced to mere cogs in the company machine, solely responsible for driving up profits to satisfy shareholders. Instead, foster a connection between employees and the organization’s purpose. Emphasize the intrinsic value of their work and remind them that it’s not just about monetary rewards. Personal growth, meaningful experiences, and recognition are equally important.

Let one message resonate throughout the organization: Your work holds significance beyond financial targets.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Numbers Games: Summary of The Tyranny of Metrics by Jerry Muller
  2. People Do What You Inspect, Not What You Expect
  3. When Work Becomes a Metric, Metrics Risk Becoming the Work: A Case Study of the Stakhanovite Movement
  4. Be Careful What You Count: The Perils of Measuring the Wrong Thing
  5. Why Incentives Backfire and How to Make Them Work: Summary of Uri Gneezy’s Mixed Signals

Filed Under: Leadership, Managing People Tagged With: Ethics, Goals, Motivation, Persuasion, Targets

How to … Strengthen The ‘Asking Muscle’

August 23, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Many people are afraid to ask—even negotiate—for what they want. Just because you ask for something doesn’t mean you’ll get it, but you must keep trying. In the same way that your body’s muscles need regular exercise to stay strong and flexible, the voices in your head do too. The more you practice asking (rehearse with a friend if needed,) the more comfortable it becomes.

Idea for Impact: Don’t wait for good things, as you may have been taught. Ask for what you want. With each triumph, you’ll gain confidence; with each disappointment, you’ll learn something. You’ll overcome the dread of asking for too much. You’ll conquer the fear of rejection or reprisal. Besides, you’ll be less deprived of what you’re reasonably entitled to.

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  5. Resilience Through Rejection

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Confidence, Fear, Motivation, Negotiation, Persuasion, Procrastination

How to Speak Up in Meetings and Disagree Tactfully

August 22, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If you find it challenging to speak up in meetings, especially when disagreeing, here’s a helpful framework:

  1. Restate the objective, even if it seems obvious: “Let’s clarify what we aim to achieve here…” This restatement sharpens the focus on the purpose.
  2. Paraphrase someone’s point: “So, if I understand correctly, you’re suggesting…”
  3. Express your concerns or alternative perspective: “I have concerns because…” or “While I see your point, how would we address…”
  4. Be the last to contribute: Your silence piques curiosity and makes your statement more impactful. Incorporate the best ideas expressed and avoid obvious mistakes.

Following this approach, you can tactfully express your thoughts with the right tone and words while seeking common ground.

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Conflict, Conversations, Getting Along, Meetings, Mindfulness, Relationships, Social Skills

Expanding the Narrative: Servant Leadership beyond Christianity

August 21, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

During the 1970s, Robert Greenleaf, an executive at AT&T, began popularizing a concept that challenged the idea of a heroic leader. He advocated for leaders who embraced humility and empowered their followers to lead.

According to Greenleaf, great leaders see themselves as servants first, and this fundamental understanding sets them apart. He taught, “Servant leadership begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions.”

Interestingly, this notion of “leader as a servant” aligns closely with the principles and teachings found in Christian scriptures, where Jesus Christ is often regarded as the ultimate example of a servant leader. Jesus exemplified humility, compassion, and selflessness in his interactions with others. In the Gospel of Mark, he declared, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45, NIV.)

While Christianity inspires its leaders to emulate the servant leadership model by prioritizing people, valuing service, and fulfilling their role as stewards, it is essential to note that servant leadership is not exclusive to Christianity. The concept can be found in other religious traditions as well. For instance, even the Śvētāmbara Jain Jñātādharmakathāḥ Sūtra (“Stories of Knowledge and Righteousness”) monastic texts contain elements of servant leadership.

In a past life, the monk Megha was an elephant. Frightened by a forest fire, he created a clearing to provide refuge when the fire next hit. He rushed to the clearing with all the other animals during a future fire. At one stage, he lifted his foot to scratch himself, and when he came to put it down again, he saw that a hare had squeezed into the space. So he stood on three legs for the entire duration of the fire — several days — and as a result, he fell over and died. This exceptionally compassionate act resulted in a human rebirth.

The Mahākapi Jātaka relates Buddha-to-be on his Bodhisattva path:

The story runs that the Bodhisattva was born as a monkey, ruler of over 80,000 monkeys. They lived near the Ganges and ate the fruit of a great mango tree. King Brahmadatta of Benares, desiring to possess the mangoes, surrounded the tree with his soldiers to kill the animals, but the Bodhisattva formed a bridge over the stream with his own body and, by this means, enabled the whole tribe to escape into safety.

Devadatta, the jealous and wicked cousin of the Buddha, was one of the monkeys in that life and, thinking it was a good chance to destroy his enemy, jumped on the Bodhisattva’s back and broke his heart.

The king, seeing the good deed of the Bodhisattva and repenting of his own attempt to kill him, tended to him with great care when he was dying and afterward gave him royal obsequies.

Servant leadership goes beyond any specific faith and encompasses a broader philosophy of putting others and organizations before oneself. It emphasizes the importance of valuing and prioritizing the interests and well-being of others. As the apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the Philippians, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV.)

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Filed Under: Leadership, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Assertiveness, Buddhism, Getting Along, Humility, Integrity, Leadership, Parables, Persuasion, Role Models

Inspirational Quotations #1011

August 20, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

Intrigue is a court distemper.
—Dorothee Luzy Dotinville (French Dancer, Actress)

Where all is but dream, reasoning and arguments are of no use, truth and knowledge nothing.
—John Locke (English Philosopher)

Wonders are many, and none is more wonderful than man; the power that crosses the white sea, driven by the stormy wind, making a path under surges that threaten to engulf him…
—Sophocles (Ancient Greek Dramatist)

Great thoughts are nourishment for our soul. If you do not have such thoughts of your own, you can always borrow them from some of the great ones of humanity.
—Dada J. P. Vaswani (Indian Hindu Philosopher)

You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations.
—Stevie Wonder (American Singer, Songwriter)

People feel at home with low moral standards. It is scruples that put them off.
—Anita Brookner (English Novelist, Art Historian)

Memory is the thread of personal identity, history of public identity.
—Richard Hofstadter (American Historian)

The human mind is inspired enough when it comes to inventing horrors; it is when it tries to invent a Heaven that it shows itself cloddish.
—Evelyn Waugh (British Novelist, Satirist)

Each moment in history is a fleeting time, precious and unique. But some stand out as moments of beginning, in which courses are set that shape decades or centuries.
—Richard Nixon (American Head of State)

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
—J. M. Barrie (Scottish Novelist)

The disesteem and contempt of others is inseparable from pride. It is hardly possible to overvalue ourselves but by undervaluing our neighbors.
—Edward Hyde, 1st Earl of Clarendon (English Statesman, Historian)

Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim.
—John D. Rockefeller, Jr. (American Philanthropist)

Inner peace is important, but I have always felt that living a daily life with peace is the end. So in reality individual peace and global peace are not separate. They are one and the same.
—Ela Bhatt (Indian Labor Activist)

Seeing the full bosom of young maidens and their navel, do not fall a prey to maddening delusion. This is but a modification of flesh and fat. Think well thus in your mind again and again.
—Adi Shankaracharya (Indian Hindu Philosopher)

Your tears come easy , when you’re young, and beginning the world. Your tears come easy, when you’re old, and leaving it.
—Wilkie Collins (English Novelist, Playwright)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

The Surprising Power of Low Expectations: The Secret Weapon to Happiness?

August 17, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Stephen Hawking once said, “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.”

Happiness depends not on how well things are going but on whether things are going better or worse than expected.

As the Buddhists propose, lowering your expectations—at least right-sizing them—raises your joy. But be careful not to lower them so much that you become apathetic and lack enthusiasm. Find a happy balance between satisfaction and aspiration.

Idea for Impact: You needn’t always do more, be more, aspire for bigger and better, rush, hustle, and accelerate, as the world will tell you. If all you really want is a simple, pleasant, gentle life, why can’t that be enough?

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Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Mental Models Tagged With: Attitudes, Buddhism, Emotions, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Relationships, Suffering

Thirteen Phrases Your Customers Don’t Want to Hear

August 14, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When spoken with a particular tone, specific phrases can instantly infuriate and frustrate customers. Here are some alternatives to consider:

  • Avoid: “I don’t know.” Instead, try “That’s a good question. Let me check and find out.”
  • Avoid: “Just a second.” Instead, try “It could take me a few minutes to get that information. Could you hold while I check, or should I call you back in ten minutes?”
  • Avoid: “Wait.” Instead, try “I haven’t gotten to that yet.”
  • Avoid: “We can’t do that for you.” Instead, try “That’s a tough one. Let me see what I can do.”
  • Avoid: “You’ll have to…” Instead, try “Here’s how we can help you.”
  • Avoid: “That’s not my job.” Instead, try “I usually don’t handle that area, but I know who can help you. Let me see if he’s available.”
  • Avoid: “It’s your fault.” Instead, try “The way this process works is…
  • Avoid: “Why didn’t you do…?” Instead, try “Our process expects you to…”
  • Avoid: “How’s that my concern?” Instead, try, “I understand how upset you are.”
  • Avoid: “I know!” Instead, try “Yes, you’re right.”
  • Avoid: “As I explained earlier… Instead, try “Let’s review the steps again.”
  • Avoid: “Don’t you understand?” Instead, try, “Am I understandable thus far?”
  • Avoid: “Are you done?” Instead, try, “Will there be anything else?”

Master the art of words and deliver customer service messages with a confident, sympathetic tone. Create a personalized list of “Do Say” and “Don’t Say” phrases, drawing from your own experiences.

Reflect on the pain points and communication barriers that specifically frustrated you as a customer during customer service calls, as well as the instances where representatives provided positive interactions. Identify effective approaches and avoid pitfalls when engaging with customers.

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  4. Don’t Abruptly Walk Away from an Emotionally Charged Conflict
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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Anger, Conflict, Conversations, Customer Service, Listening, Persuasion, Social Skills

Inspirational Quotations #1010

August 13, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi

Speak roughly to your little boy, and beat him when he sneezes: he only does it to annoy, because he knows it teases.
—Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (Lewis Carroll) (British Anglican Author)

Vice is like a fury to the vicious mind, And turns delight itself to punishment.
—Ben Jonson (English Dramatist)

A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
—Max Planck (German Theoretical Physicist)

When a member of our physical body is diseased and the whole body has to labor to restore it to health, we do not despise this diseased member or hold it under obligation because it needs all this assistance.
—John Calvin (French Theologian)

Every age has its peculiar folly: Some scheme, project, or fantasy into which it plunges, spurred on by the love of gain, the necessity of excitement, or the force of imitation.
—Charles Mackay (Scottish Poet, Journalist)

How many serious family quarrels, marriages out of spite, and alterations of wills, might have been prevented by a gentle dose of blue pill!—What awful instances of chronic dyspepsia in the characters of Hamlet and Othello! Banish dyspepsia and spirituous liquors from society, and you have no crime, or at least so little that you would not consider it worth mentioning.
—Charles Kingsley (English Clergyman)

We’re like children who always want to take apart watches to see how they work.
—Ernest Rutherford (New Zealand-born Physicist)

Everybody ought to do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice.
—William James (American Philosopher)

Separation penetrates the disappearing person like a pigment and steeps him in gentle radiance.
—Walter Benjamin (German Literary Critic)

As it is our nature to be more moved by hope than fear, the example of one we see abundantly rewarded cheers and encourages us far more than the sight of many who have not been well treated disquiets us.
—Francesco Guicciardini (Italian Historian)

The inward sighs of humble penitence rise to the ear of heaven, when pealed hymns are scattered to the common air.
—Joanna Baillie (Scottish Dramatist, Poet)

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
—Francis Beaumont (English Playwright)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Emotional Intelligence Is Overrated: The Problem With Measuring Concepts Such as Emotion and Intelligence

August 10, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In the contemporary landscape, relying solely on cognitive intelligence tests to evaluate the managerial potential of MBA students is increasingly considered inadequate. It has become fashionable for successful managers to need emotional intelligence to thrive in their roles.

Within human resources, there is a growing trend to define an individual’s ability to understand emotional expressions as a form of “intelligence,” measuring it through an emotional quotient (EQ) and considering it a personality trait. However, it is worth noting that people often find it refreshing to shed the façade they present in public and freely express their genuine thoughts, emotions, and actions in informal “off-the-record” situations rather than conforming to formalities during official meetings.

While some proponents argue that EQ encompasses all dimensions of managerial success that IQ fails to measure, this widely accepted viewpoint lacks credible scientific evidence. Unlike IQ, a clearly defined measure of cognitive abilities, there is no agreed-upon definition of emotional intelligence, and various EQ tests produce vastly different results. Moreover, societal biases and cultural upbringing can significantly influence EQ scores. Indeed, the claim that EQ is twice as vital as IQ is an entirely baseless and unproven assertion.

Emotional intelligence is an intricate and dynamic concept encompassing a broad spectrum of emotional competencies, social skills, and self-awareness. Attempting to simplify it into a single score may not adequately capture its subtleties and complexities.

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  3. Embracing Cultural Sensitivity: A Case Study of Akira Kurosawa’s Oscar Speech
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Filed Under: Career Development, Leading Teams, Managing People Tagged With: Attitudes, Career Planning, Communication, Employee Development, Getting Along, Interviewing, Philosophy

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!