• Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Archives for March 2025

Shun the Shadows of Self-Tyranny

March 17, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Shun the Shadows of Self-Tyranny: Don't Be Too Harsh on Yourself We’ve all witnessed moments where someone verbally attacks another person. Comments like “You silly goose!” “You self-centered fool!” or “You ungrateful jerk!” are not only harsh and abusive, but they also quickly erode the attacker’s self-respect. Thankfully, most of us think, “I’d never speak to anyone like that.” We recognize the importance of respecting someone’s dignity and self-esteem.

However, we sometimes find that while we wouldn’t use such harsh language towards others, we have no problem directing similar vitriol at ourselves. We catch ourselves saying things like, “I’m such an idiot!” “I’m a real jerk!” or “I can be a little dim-witted!”

In other words, although we wouldn’t treat others with such cruelty, we mistakenly believe it’s acceptable to speak to ourselves that way. This phenomenon, known as “self-tyranny,” involves adopting authoritarian tendencies toward ourselves, leading to self-directed oppression. It’s simply despicable.

The significance is clear-cut: if you tend to criticize or demean yourself in such harsh terms, it’s time for a personal psychological rethink. You should treat yourself with the same respect and kindness you offer to others.

  1. Beware Extreme Self-Control: Rigidly controlling your own behavior and thoughts can lead to self-oppression.
  2. Avoid Overly Strict Ideals: Imposing harsh, uncompromising standards on yourself mirrors the absolutism of fascist ideology and can lead to a rigid adherence to personal ideals.
  3. Watch for Intense Self-Surveillance: Constantly monitoring and judging yourself with excessive severity resembles the surveillance state in oppressive regimes. Ditch that authoritarian approach to self-management.

Think well, act well, and treat yourself well!

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. Blame Your Parents for Your Current Problems?

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Perfectionism, Resilience, Suffering

Inspirational Quotations #1093

March 16, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi

There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.
—Nelson Mandela (South African Political leader)

The investor’s chief problem—and even his worst enemy—is likely to be him self.
—Benjamin Graham (American Investor)

He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.
—Aristotle (Ancient Greek Philosopher)

All power is from within and is therefore under our own control.
—Robert Collier (American Self-Help Author)

Everyone’s quick to blame the alien.
—Aeschylus (Greek Playwright)

You make the best products you can, and you grow as fast as you deserve to.
—Kenneth H. Olsen (American Engineer, Business Executive)

Death not merely ends life, it also bestows upon it a silent completeness, snatched from the hazardous flux to which all things human are subject.
—Hannah Arendt (German-American Political Theorist)

Use thy best vase today, for tomorrow it may, perchance, be broken.
—The Talmud (Sacred Text of the Jewish Faith)

Indifference and inaction must always pay a penalty.
—William Feather (American Author, Publisher)

Little-minded people’s thoughts move in such small circles that five minutes conversation gives you an arc long enough to determine their whole curve.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (American Physician, Essayist)

Bad companies are destroyed by crisis, Good companies survive them, Great companies are improved by them.
—Andrew Grove (Hungarian-born American Businessperson)

Such dainties to them, their health it might hurt: It’s like sending them ruffles, when wanting a shirt.
—Oliver Goldsmith (Anglo-Irish Novelist, Poet)

Never let an inventor run a company. You can never get him to stop tinkering and bring something to market.
—Royal Little (American Businessman)

Religion is man-made. Even the men who made it cannot agree on what their prophets or redeemers or gurus actually said or did.
—Christopher Hitchens (Anglo-American Social Critic)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

The Fastest Stress Reliever: A Bit of Perspective & Clarity

March 13, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

A Fast Stress Reliever: A Bit of Perspective & Clarity One of the best strategies my coaching clients use to manage stress is a simple shift in perspective. By stepping back from a stressful situation, you gain clarity, manage your emotions, prioritize effectively, and tackle problems with a more constructive mindset.

When life hits us with major challenges—like losing a job or the death of a loved one—we somehow find the strength to power through.

Tiny Annoyances, Big Impact: The Stress Paradox

But the little things? That’s where the real frustration lies. Everyday annoyances like getting cut off in traffic, being shoved by impatient passengers, slow walkers when we’re in a rush, terrible restaurant service, snarky coworkers, or passive-aggressive in-laws can feel like the end of the world.

However, these moments that seem catastrophic at the time are usually just blips on the radar. Stress has a way of turning molehills into mountains, but when you take a step back, you realize these “big” problems rarely matter in the long run. Suddenly, instead of drowning in chaos, you’re calmly navigating through it, realizing you have far more control than you thought.

Shift Your Perspective, Shift Your Stress

This is the core message of Richard Carlson’s Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… And It’s All Small Stuff (1997; my summary.) Perspective works wonders—it pulls you out of the drama and reminds you that this is just a small chapter in the bigger story of your life. With that clarity, stress starts to fade, leaving room for calm, rational thinking.

Idea for Impact: I rely on my 5-5-5 Rule to keep things in perspective: when you’re about to lose it over something minor, ask yourself—Will this matter in 5 days? 5 months? 5 years? The answer is almost always no. The key is to shift to that “wise-you” mindset when it matters most. Once you do, life becomes far more peaceful—and a lot less stressful.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Summary of Richard Carlson’s ‘Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff’
  2. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be
  5. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Emotions, Mindfulness, Resilience, Stress, Suffering, Thought Process, Wisdom

Radical Acceptance: Book Summary of Susan Henkels’s ‘What if There Is Nothing Wrong With You’

March 11, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'What if There Is Nothing Wrong With You' by Susan Henkels (ISBN 0692188541) In four decades of practice, psychotherapist Susan Henkels had listened as people catalog everything they believe is wrong with themselves. One day, as a patient rattled off her list of flaws, Henkels had an epiphany: What if there’s nothing wrong with her?. This pivotal moment inspired her book, What If There Is Nothing Wrong With You: A Practice in Reinterpretation (2018.)

Henkels contends that we often define ourselves by perceived flaws, convinced happiness lies in fixing them. We craft endless lists of what’s “wrong” and pursue self-improvement as the cure for our discontent. Her question flips the script: Could I be enough already? This perspective offers a powerful shift. Instead of dwelling on judgment and negative self-talk, Henkels champions radical acceptance—embracing yourself as you are, nothing more, nothing less. Her book advocates a mindset of “it is what it is,” liberating readers from the heavy burden of self-criticism and creating space for relief and renewal.

Henkels acknowledges this isn’t a magic fix. It won’t transform your life overnight. What it does is curb the relentless inner critic, making room for growth and clarity. Releasing the belief that you’re fundamentally flawed allows you to live more fully in the present.

This approach doesn’t aim for perfection. Yes, you could eat better, procrastinate less, or fix a few habits. But obsessing over flaws keeps you stuck, preventing you from truly living.

Recommendation: Skim What if There Is Nothing Wrong With You if you must. At just 124 pages, the book is light on depth. Her TED Talk captures the essence. The takeaway: Stop fixing what isn’t broken. Reclaim your life.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Avoid the Trap of Desperate Talk
  2. A Bit of Insecurity Can Help You Be Your Best Self
  3. Why People Get Happier as They Age
  4. Death Should Not Be Feared
  5. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg McKeown’s ‘Essentialism’

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Assertiveness, Attitudes, Conversations, Happiness, Mindfulness, Perfectionism, Wisdom

Inspirational Quotations #1092

March 9, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi

A being afire with life cannot foresee death; in fact, by each of his deeds he denies that death exists.
—Marguerite Yourcenar (French Writer)

The foundation of true joy is in the conscience.
—Seneca the Younger (Lucius Annaeus Seneca) (Roman Stoic Philosopher)

In the corporate world, if you have analysts, due diligence, and no horse sense, you’ve just described hell.
—Charlie Munger (American Investor, Philanthropist)

Hope against hope, and ask till ye receive.
—James Montgomery (Scottish Poet, Journalist)

If results are our goal, they must also be our test.
—Peter Drucker (Austrian-born Management Consultant)

I don’t want to work. I want to smoke.
—Guillaume Apollinaire (Italian-born French Poet)

No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
—Helen Keller (American Author)

It no longer bothers me that I may be constantly searching for father figures; by this time, I have found several and dearly enjoyed knowing them all.
—Alice Walker (American Novelist, Activist)

What you hear, you forget; what you see, you remember; what you do, you understand.
—T. Harv Eker (American Motivational Speaker)

Rage is essentially vulgar, and never more vulgar than when it proceeds from mortified pride, disappointed ambition, or thwarted willfulness.
—Hartley Coleridge (British Poet)

Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time.
—Arthur Ashe (American Tennis Player)

There is too much reason to apprehend, that the custom of pleading for any client, without discrimination of right or wrong, must lessen the regard due to those important distinctions, and deaden the moral sensibility of the heart.
—James Gates Percival (American Poet, Surgeon)

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments—there are consequences.
—Robert G. Ingersoll (American Lawyer, Orator, Agnostic)

We are all born for love… . It is the principle of existence, and its only end.
—Benjamin Disraeli (British Head of State)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

Thanks, But No Thanks: Well-Intentioned Reminders Can Resurface Old Wounds

March 6, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Thanks, But No Thanks: Well-Intentioned Reminders Can Resurface Old Wounds Imagine you went through a tough loss when a child sadly passed away from a sudden illness three years ago. The pain still lingers, and time hasn’t made it easier. Still, you’ve done your best to rebuild your life, choosing not to dwell on that heartache.

But every anniversary, your coworker sends a message like “Thinking of you.” You respond with a simple ‘thank you,’ hoping she’ll get the hint, but it seems like she doesn’t realize her well-meaning words only bring back emotions you’ve tried to set aside. You wish she would take a hint and stop these reminders.

Sometimes, kindness can sting. Supportive messages can feel out of place when you’re working to move on. People aren’t mind readers, so it’s important to ask them to be sensitive to your wishes.

Next time you see your coworker, you might say, “I appreciate your kindness, but I’ve found my own way to cope with this loss and would prefer not to relive it. Please stop sending these messages; they upset me.” Being open and respectful can help her understand your perspective, and hopefully, she’ll respect your boundaries.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Sensitivity of Politics in Today’s Contentious Climate
  2. Witty Comebacks and Smart Responses for Nosy People
  3. Avoid Trigger Words: Own Your Words with Grace and Care
  4. Making the Nuances Count in Decisions
  5. How to … Communicate Better with Defensive People

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conflict, Conversations, Etiquette, Getting Along, Social Skills

Is Low Self-Esteem Your Problem or Your Excuse?

March 3, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Is Low Self Esteem Your Problem or Your Excuse? Many people blame their problems on low self-esteem, but often this is just a way to dodge the harder truth: they might actually have lower intellectual, emotional, or social abilities.

If you think low self-esteem is your problem, consider whether it’s truly reflecting a reality that’s worse than it is. True low self-esteem occurs when your self-appraisal is harsher than reality.

Next time you attribute your issues to low self-esteem, ask yourself if the real problem might be lower ability. Using low self-esteem as an excuse can hinder your personal growth by shifting the focus away from practical solutions and onto self-defeating habits.

Idea for Impact: Instead of just trying to boost your self-esteem, focus on improving your skills, adjusting your expectations, or taking actionable steps. This approach will likely lead to stepped progress and help you overcome obstacles more effectively.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Power of Negative Thinking
  2. Know Your Triggers, Master Your Emotions
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Therapeutic Overreach: Diagnosing Ordinary Struggles as Disorders
  5. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Confidence, Conversations, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Motivation

Inspirational Quotations #1091

March 2, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi

Happiness is like the penny candy of our youth: we got a lot more for our money back when we had no money.
—Mignon McLaughlin (American Journalist)

Genuine success is to be able to spend your life in your own way; to wear your own hide, not someone else’s; to live according to nature and to recognize infinite power.
—Alfred A. Montapert (American Engineer, Philosopher)

Forgiveness is the final form of love.
—Reinhold Niebuhr (American Theologian)

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
—Carl Rogers (American Psychologist)

Fish die belly-upward and rise to the surface; it is their way of falling.
—Andre Gide (French Novelist)

There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.
—Colette (French Novelist, Performer)

Success in life is not how well we execute Plan A; it’s how smoothly we cope with Plan B.
—Sarah Ban Breathnach (American Self-help Author)

I don’t want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.
—Carrie Fisher (American Actress)

Look important. It helps you think important. How you look on the outside has a lot to do with how you feel on the inside.
—David J. Schwartz (American Self-help Author)

It is perhaps sad books that best console us when we are sad, and to lonely service stations that we should drive when there is no one for us to hold or love.
—Alain de Botton (Swiss-born British Philosopher)

When prayer is a struggle, do not worry about the prayers that you cannot pray. You yourself are a prayer to God at that moment. All that is within you cries out to Him. And He hears all the pleas that your suffering soul and body are making to Him with groanings which cannot be uttered.
—Ole Hallesby (Norwegian Theologian)

There is a brilliant child locked inside every student.
—Marva Collins (American Educator)

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotations

What Your Exhaustion May Be Telling You

March 1, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Exhaustion Warning Signs: The Impact of Unclear Boundaries and Overcommitment Feeling completely drained, like you’ve been running on empty forever? Ask yourself a couple of key questions: Are you taking care of yourself? Are you setting healthy limits?

If exhaustion’s creeping up on you, chances are you haven’t been clear about what’s cool and what’s not. Maybe you’re saying “yes” way too much.

Not setting boundaries? That’s a one-way ticket to burnout town, stuck in an endless loop of feeling wiped out.

Remember, setting boundaries means not being afraid to say “no” when you need to, being okay with disappointing others sometimes, and making your limits crystal clear. Take time for yourself and stick to your routines. Boundaries lay down the law, stop you from going overboard, and give you the power to prioritize yourself.

Idea for Impact: Setting boundaries is an act of self-love and courage. It involves openly declaring what you will or won’t accept in your life. Though challenging, establishing boundaries can ultimately recharge you and add some zest back into your life.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Champion Who Hated His Craft: Andre Agassi’s Raw Confession in ‘Open’
  2. Great Jobs are Overwhelming, and Not Everybody Wants Them
  3. The One Person You Deserve to Cherish
  4. The Tyranny of Obligations: Summary of Sarah Knight’s ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k’
  5. Pulling Off the Impossible Under Immense Pressure: Leadership Lessons from Captain Sully

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Balance, Conflict, Mindfulness, Stress

« Previous Page

Primary Sidebar

Popular Now

Anxiety Assertiveness Attitudes Balance Biases Coaching Conflict Conversations Creativity Critical Thinking Decision-Making Discipline Emotions Entrepreneurs Etiquette Feedback Getting Along Getting Things Done Goals Great Manager Innovation Leadership Leadership Lessons Likeability Mental Models Mentoring Mindfulness Motivation Networking Parables Performance Management Persuasion Philosophy Problem Solving Procrastination Relationships Simple Living Social Skills Stress Suffering Thinking Tools Thought Process Time Management Winning on the Job Wisdom

About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

Get Updates

Signup for emails

Subscribe via RSS

Contact Nagesh Belludi

RECOMMENDED BOOK:
Confessions of a Public Speaker

Confessions of a Public Speaker: Scott Berkun

Communication consultant Scott Berkun's guidelines on how to reduce anxiety and how to speak in public with greater effectiveness.

Explore

  • Announcements
  • Belief and Spirituality
  • Business Stories
  • Career Development
  • Effective Communication
  • Great Personalities
  • Health and Well-being
  • Ideas and Insights
  • Inspirational Quotations
  • Leadership
  • Leadership Reading
  • Leading Teams
  • Living the Good Life
  • Managing Business Functions
  • Managing People
  • MBA in a Nutshell
  • Mental Models
  • News Analysis
  • Personal Finance
  • Podcasts
  • Project Management
  • Proverbs & Maxims
  • Sharpening Your Skills
  • The Great Innovators

Recently,

  • A Taxonomy of Troubles: Summary of Tiffany Watt Smith’s ‘The Book of Human Emotions’
  • Negative Emotions Aren’t the Problem—Our Flight from Them Is
  • Inspirational Quotations #1121
  • Japan’s MUJI Became an Iconic Brand by Refusing to Be One
  • Why Major Projects Fail: Summary of Bent Flyvbjerg’s Book ‘How Big Things Get Done’
  • Managing the Overwhelmed: How to Coach Stressed Employees
  • Inspirational Quotations #1120

Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!