Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Hate is Self-Defeating

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Hatred and anger are emotions that are ultimately futile and self-defeating. The Buddha taught that negative and destructive emotions toward others only harm the person who holds them. He said, “In this world, hate never dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate. This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible. You too shall pass away. Knowing this, how can you quarrel?”

Hate may seem successful when it binds perpetrators and victims in a cycle of mutual retaliation and destruction, but this is only a fleeting success. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. taught that hate often leads to more hate. He said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness.”

Idea for Impact: Choosing love over hate is the only way to defeat hate. You can deny hate even this fleeting success by modeling love in your speech, attitude, and actions. Look past people’s shortcomings and choose to accept, tolerate, forgive, and love. This is the wiser choice.

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The Dark Side of Selfies

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Selfies are generally acceptable to a certain extent. They provide a means to chronicle oneself and curate the highlights of one’s life, and as humans, we have an innate need to feel acknowledged and seen.

Selfies can be a tool for self-love and expression, allowing individuals to communicate something about themselves and present themselves in a certain way. When taken intentionally, a selfie can give the illusion of control over one’s fleeting identities, which is a natural desire. It’s perfectly fine to create a persona and seek others’ approval, as a healthy self-identity depends on it.

However, when taken too far, the desire to be liked and accepted can quickly become a constant need for validation and status. Self-objectification can cause one to forget that self-identity is primarily based on subjective, biased perceptions of others. Using selfies as the ultimate self-expression can lead to overinflated self-importance and shameless self-promotion.

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Stop Getting Caught in Other People’s Drama

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If you’re drawn to a drama that has nothing to do with you, it’s okay to make yourself available briefly to help others fix their issues. However, beyond the seeming entertainment value of tuning in without any strings or consequences, odds are it’s actively interfering with your responsibilities.

Is getting consumed with other people’s drama just a form of escapism, allowing you to push attention away from stressful or unwelcome events in your own life for a brief amount of time?

To break the pattern of involvement in others’ dramas, shift your perspective and pay attention to what you’ll gain by not getting involved. Getting wrapped up in other people’s drama should never come at the expense of your own well-being.

Idea for Impact: Examine if you’re becoming interested in other people’s dramas because you’re evading your own reality. Set boundaries to preserve your own energy. Face your own life.

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Separate the Job of Creating and Improving

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You can’t write and edit, engrave and buff, or create and analyze simultaneously. If you try to do so, the editor will hinder the creator’s progress.

Don’t let the evaluator’s biases and entrenched behaviors get in the way of the maker’s creative process. Keep the niggling editor from creeping up during the initial draft.

Idea for Impact: In the early stages, the creator’s mind should be free from any judgment. Revising your way into a cut above is far more effective than trying to conjure brilliance out of thin air.

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Why Hiring Self-Leaders is the Best Strategy

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The best leaders understand the power of self-leadership. When you have a team of self-leaders, you can step back and let them do what they do best—lead themselves.

To build a team of self-leaders, look for naturally curious, driven, and goal-oriented individuals. Seek out people who can work independently and collaborate with others when needed. These folks only need a little hand-holding, are self-motivated, and take the initiative without being told what to do.

Idea for Impact: With a team of self-leaders, you can focus on the bigger picture and trust that the day-to-day tasks are handled with care. So, consider hiring a team of self-leaders to take your organization to new heights. They’ll get things done efficiently and effectively while freeing you up to focus on what matters most.

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The “Adjacent Possible” Mental Model

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The “Adjacent Possible” consists of all those ideas that are one step away from what actually exists. One thing leads to another, and when you achieve an adjacent possibile, you may hit upon more adjacent possibles.

So exploring the edges can take you somewhere new that you can’t predefine. The adjacent possible is something that gets continuously shaped and reshaped by your actions and your choices.

Steven Johnson’s Where Good Ideas Come From: The Natural History of Innovation (2010) urges, “The adjacent possible is a kind of shadow future, hovering on the edges of the present state of things, a map of all the ways in which the present can reinvent itself.”

Johnson borrowed the conception from biologist Stuart A. Kauffman’s The Origins of Order: Self-Organization and Selection in Evolution (1993.) This book examines a fundamental law of evolution: how everything has to evolve one step at a time within its realm of possibility, which sits directly adjacent to its current position. Novelty isn’t an abrupt, isolated happening, but rather stem from the voyaging of what is adjacent or related to what already exists.

Idea for Impact: Start at the edge of what works. Then, explore the adjacent possibile space. You may just get to those streams of opportunities that lead to the next big thing.

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Inspirational Quotations #1015

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There is nothing like a challenge to bring out the best in man.
—Sean Connery (Scottish Actor)

The hardest trial of the heart is, whether it can bear a rival’s failure without triumph.
—John Aikin (British Educator)

Base-minded they that lack intelligence; for God himself for wisdom most is praised, and men to God thereby are highest raised.
—Edmund Spenser (English Poet)

History is neither more nor less than biography on a large scale.
—Alphonse de Lamartine (French Poet, Politician, Historian)

There is no perfect fit when you’re looking for the next big thing to do. You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around. The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.
—Sheryl Sandberg (American Executive, Author)

He never is alone that is accompanied with noble thoughts.
—John Fletcher (English Dramatist)

Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
—Anne Frank (German Holocaust Victim)

Most footprints on the sands of time were made with work shoes.
—Caroline Schoeder (American Aphorist)

The first time I read an excellent work, it is to me just as if I had gained a new friend; and when I read over a book I have perused before, it resembles the meeting with an old one.
—Oliver Goldsmith (Anglo-Irish Novelist, Poet)

Affectation hides three times as many virtues as charity does sins.
—Horace Mann (American Educator)

We usually meet all of our relatives only at funerals where somebody always observes: “Too bad we can’t get together more often.”
—Bernard Berenson (American Art Critic)

Carry on any enterprise as if all future success depended on it.
—Cardinal Richelieu (French Cardinal, Statemesan)

To be an ideal guest, stay at home.
—E. W. Howe (American Novelist)

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech.
—Plutarch (Greek Biographer)

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
—Nelson Mandela (South African Political leader)

Too many cousins ruin the shopkeeper.
—Jamaican Proverb

How to … Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

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Your beliefs, rather than your perceived lack of ability, could be the most significant hindrance between your life and the life you want to live. Sadly, self-talk is endless; the more you engage the negative narratives running through your head, the more you’ll abide by them.

Whenever you’re plagued by self-limiting beliefs, gather evidence against them, reframe them, and oppugn them. Scour your brain for real-life examples that debunk the limiting beliefs. For instance, if addressing the self-limiting belief “I am not qualified,” think of as many happenings as possible that you earlier thought you weren’t qualified for—but went on to achieve anyway. These could include being offered a dream job, passing an exam you feared was above your level or showing up when you didn’t think you could.

Idea for Impact: Over time, make a concerted effort to challenge deep-rooted core beliefs by testing them to see if they’re valid. You’ll develop the mental resilience needed to crush the self-limiting beliefs that deter you from reaching your potential.

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What a Daily Stoic Practice Actually Looks Like

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Stoicism as a philosophy is a way of life; it should change how you live your life daily. This is what a basic Stoic practice means for most folks:

  • Start the day by setting your intention after meditation and reflection. Marcus Aurelius used to prepare himself through futurorum malorum præmeditatio—visualizing what could go wrong that day to be practically and emotionally prepared for what may come.
  • Throughout the day, pause, reflect, and make sure you’re applying the foundational Stoic idea of the dichotomy of control—separating things within your control and those outside your control. When you can accept, even love, what fate is handing you, your mood becomes stiffer to negatively impact. You’re to greet adversity with arms wide open—it’s a test of character.
  • At the end of the day, ask yourself what things you did well, what you did less well, and what items you left undone. Reflecting (“hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing” per Seneca,”) gaining perspective, and adjusting is an excellent way to ensure that the day’s efforts aren’t in vain—you’re living each day well, exercising virtue and strength of character.

Idea for Impact: To live well by intentionally focusing on your days—your actions and choices—is the basis of daily stoic practice.

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Inspirational Quotations #1014

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We must have a weak spot or two in a character before we can love it much. People that do not laugh or cry, or take more of anything than is good for them, or use anything but dictionary-words, are admirable subjects for biographies. But we don’t care most for those flat pattern flowers that press best in the herbarium.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (American Physician, Essayist)

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation.
—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (French Jesuit Scientist)

Every production of genius must be the production of enthusiasm.
—Isaac D’Israeli (English Writer, Scholar)

The greatest happiness is to transform one’s feelings into action.
—Anne Louise Germaine de Stael (French Woman of Letters)

We have a fear all the time. But that’s what keeps us going, that’s what keeps us focused. People who say ‘I have no fear. I’m not afraid of ever failing,’ are kidding themselves. It’s the fear of failure, of not wanting to fail, that makes people as great as they are. I know that’s what pushes me.
—Henry R. Kravis (American Businessman)

I have always felt that a woman has the right to treat the subject of her age with ambiguity until, perhaps, she passes into the realm of over ninety. Then it is better she be candid with herself and the world.
—Helena Rubinstein (American Cosmetician)

A person may desire to live for hundreds of years if he works according to this truth because that sort of work will not bind him to the law of karma. And there is no alternative to this way for man.
—The Upanishads (Sacred Books of Hinduism)

Because we grew up surrounded by big dramatic story arcs in books and movies, we think our lives are supposed to be filled with huge ups and downs! That’s why we act like everything that happens to us is such a big deal. We’re trying to make our life into a fairy tale.
—Derek Sivers (American Entrepreneur)

The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they’re gone.
—George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans) (English Novelist)

When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.
—Ambrose Bierce (American Journalist, Author)