• Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Social Dynamics

What to Do When Your Boss Steals Your Best Ideas

April 10, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Be thankful that your boss is stealing your ideas or getting credit for your work because the best way to make your boss love you is to make her look good.

It’s surprising how well this ensures a steady and trusting working relationship. So suck it up, buttercup!

Your boss’s opinion counts more than anyone else’s in your career trajectory. So the last thing you want is to put yourself in an adverse situation with your boss.

Credit for ideas is way overrated, anyway. The core of your job isn’t to sit in a cubicle and think up ideas. It’s carrying out those ideas—that’s what you’ll list on your resume—projects done, money saved, marketing campaigns led–not your bright ideas.

Don’t go over your boss’s head and protest. Your boss’s boss doesn’t pay attention to who stole whose ideas. If your boss is mean and nasty, your boss’s boss will eventually figure it out without your help.

Idea for Impact: Is it that awful that your boss takes credit for your ideas? Think of it as unselfishly donating some ideas in exchange for a good relationship with your boss.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How Not to Handle a Bad Boss
  2. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  3. The High Cost of Winning a Small Argument
  4. Affection Is No Defense: Good Intentions Make Excellent Alibis
  5. No Amount of Shared Triumph Makes a Relationship Immune to Collapse

Filed Under: Career Development, Managing People Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conflict, Getting Along, Managing the Boss, Mindfulness, Relationships, Social Dynamics

The More Facebook Friends You Have, The More Stressed You’ll Be

February 23, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Seems to me that everyone’s getting sick of having to think twice about how anything—everything—they say can upset their followers on social media. We live in an oversensitive and censorious culture. The more friends you have on Facebook, the more likely something you say or do on the site will offend one of your “friends.”

The displeased’s hostility, the outflow of anger, and their petty drama won’t stop until they’ve forced their narrow-minded ideologies upon you. Even unintended slip-ups—even those from years ago—abruptly become grave and irreparable. One episode could affect your whole life. You’ll be called out; you’ll be canceled. Your employer may find that the simplest way to steer clear of the controversy is to fire you and destroy your career.

Idea for Impact: Don’t be oblivious about current events, but be aware of what and how you weigh in on cultural, social, or political issues on social media or in other unsuitable fora.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Keep Politics and Religion Out of the Office
  2. The Sensitivity of Politics in Today’s Contentious Climate
  3. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  4. Witty Comebacks and Smart Responses for Nosy People
  5. Entitlement and Anger Go Together

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Conflict, Conversations, Getting Along, Networking, Politics, Social Dynamics

Never Make a Big Decision Without Doing This First

February 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

In 1943, General Motors (GM) brought in Peter Drucker to conduct a two-year social-scientific examination of what was then the world’s largest corporation. Drucker conducted many interviews with GM’s corporate leaders, divisional managers, department chiefs, and line workers. He analyzed decision-making and production processes. The resultant landmark study, Concept of the Corporation (1946,) laid the foundations of scientific management as a formal discipline.

One anecdote that Drucker liked to share from his GM research involved how his client, GM supremo Alfred P. Sloan, Jr., generally encouraged disagreements:

During a meeting in which GM’s top management team was considering a weighty decision, Sloan closed the meeting by asking, “Gentlemen, I take it we are all in complete agreement on the decision here?”

Sloan then waited as each member of the assembled committee nodded in agreement.

Sloan continued, “Then, I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understanding of what this decision is about.”

Concrete Disagreement Stimulates Thought

Strong leaders encourage their team members to challenge them and question consensus. Leaders so counter the tendency toward synthetic harmony that emanates from group thinking and the risk of unchallenged leadership.

A team member with a difference of opinion or contrary position that’s well rooted in rationale is not to be reprimanded. He may have judgments worth listening to or recommendations worth heeding. Every team needs at least one to keep the team from falling into complacency. A team’s culture shouldn’t shun discouragement and conflict.. Look out, though, for team members who merely pay lip service to allow for the counterargument.

There are three reasons why dissent is needed. It first safeguards the decision maker against becoming the prisoner of the organization. Everybody is special pleader, trying—often in perfectly good faith—to obtain the decision he favors. Second, disagreement alone can provide alternatives to decision. And decision without an alternative is desperate gamblers’ throw, no matter how carefully thought through it might be. Above all, disagreement is needed to stimulate the imagination.

The Best Leaders Encourage Disagreements

Dissent and disagreement are critical to combat confirmation bias—the human tendency to readily seek and accept ostensible facts that match our existing worldview rather than objectively considering alternative viewpoints and unintended consequences.

'Management Tasks, Responsibilities, Practices' by Peter F. Drucker (ISBN 0887306152) What’s worse, leaders tend to surround themselves with like-minded individuals—people they trust and people who think alike. Drucker later wrote in his wide-ranging treatise on Management: Tasks, Responsibilities, Practices (1974,)

Sloan always emphasized the need to test opinions against facts and the need to make absolutely sure that one did not start out with the conclusion and then look for the facts that would support it. But he knew that the right decision demands adequate disagreement.

An effective decision-maker organizes dissent. This protects him against being taken in by the plausible but false or incomplete. It gives him the alternatives so that he can choose and make a decision, but also ensures that he is not lost in the fog when his decision proves deficient or wrong in execution. And it forces the imagination—his own and that of his associates. Dissent converts the plausible into the right and the right into the good decision.

Idea for Impact: The more you encourage healthy debate within your team, the better off you’ll be

The first rule in decision-making should be that you don’t make any decision unless you’ve sought out and contemplated the counterevidence. Consider the other side of any idea as carefully as your own.

Wise leaders proactively seek the truth they don’t want to find. Encourage authentic dissenting opinions to generate more—and better—solutions to problems.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Consensus is Dangerous
  2. To Know Is to Contradict: The Power of Nuanced Thinking
  3. Couldn’t We Use a Little More Civility and Respect in Our Conversations?
  4. Cancel Culture has a Condescension Problem
  5. How to Stimulate Group Creativity // Book Summary of Edward de Bono’s ‘Six Thinking Hats’

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills, The Great Innovators Tagged With: Conflict, Conversations, Critical Thinking, Leadership Lessons, Social Dynamics, Teams

Racism and Identity: The Lie of Labeling

February 2, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

This video examines how categorical labeling and the us-versus-them mentality it fosters are at the heart of division and, subsequently, intolerance and non-acceptance.

From birth, the world force-feeds us these labels, and eventually, we all swallow them. We digest and accept the labels, never ever doubting them, but there’s one problem. Labels are not you, and labels are not me. Labels are just labels. Who we truly are is skin deep. Who we truly are is found inside.

Labels forever blind us from seeing a person for whom they are, but instead force us to see them through the judgmental, prejudicial, artificial filters of who we think they are.

Labels Aren’t Just Idle Placeholders

Labels determine what we see. As essayist James Baldwin cautions in The Price of the Ticket (1985,) “As long as you think you are white, there is no hope for you. Because as long as you think you’re white, I’m forced to think I’m black.”

We’ve used the lie of labeling to define and separate people for millennia. We emotionally and intellectually enslave ourselves when we believe the lie of a label. Then we enslave others. Even forcing people to self-identify by labels reinforces separation, stereotyping, and divisiveness.

Rigid stereotypes of out-group norms follow. Such attitudes are harmful because they overlook the full humanity and uniqueness of all people. When our perceptions of different races are distorted and stereotypical, it’s demeaning, devaluing, limiting, and hurtful to others.

Idea for Impact: Let’s Stop Sidestepping the Human Behind the Labels

What we need now—more than ever—is an individual and collective shift from tolerance to acceptance (it’s possible to be tolerant without being accepting, but it isn’t possible to be accepting without first being tolerant.) In so doing, we can work to create a society in which everyone is valued, appreciated, and embraced.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Labeling Damage
  2. There’s Real Danger in Religious Illiteracy
  3. Embracing Cultural Sensitivity: A Case Study of Akira Kurosawa’s Oscar Speech
  4. Stop Stigmatizing All Cultural ‘Appropriation’
  5. Beyond Mansplaining’s Veil

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Biases, Conflict, Diversity, Getting Along, Group Dynamics, Politics, Social Dynamics

How to … Pop the Filter Bubble

January 23, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

You’re inclined to be drawn toward those who are similar and wary of those who differ. Similarity bias propels you to unwittingly filter out ideas and opinions that diverge from your own.

Expand your view by actively seeking opposing views. Break your routines. Fraternize with considerate, ‘unlike’-minded people. Remain open to alternative interpretations. Ask big “what if” questions and frame things with an exploratory conjecture: ‘what if we did it this way?,’ ‘do we understand the problem?’ or ‘why doesn’t this work better?’

Putting yourself in a learning and questioning mindset will inspire, stimulate, and challenge you to step out of what you know. Decision-making and creativity will soar.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Surrounded by Yes
  2. How to Stimulate Group Creativity // Book Summary of Edward de Bono’s ‘Six Thinking Hats’
  3. Group Polarization: Like-Mindedness is Dangerous, Especially with Social Media
  4. Consensus is Dangerous
  5. Never Make a Big Decision Without Doing This First

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conversations, Conviction, Creativity, Critical Thinking, Social Dynamics

Is It Worth It to Quit Social Media?

December 19, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Yet another study on the benefits of deactivating Facebook:

  • Quitting Facebook could free up 60 minutes per day.
  • “Deactivating Facebook caused small but significant improvements in subjective well-being, and in particular in self-reported happiness, life satisfaction, depression, and anxiety.”
  • “As the [time-away-from-Facebook] experiment ended, participants reported planning to use Facebook much less in the future.”
  • “Deactivation significantly reduced polarization of views on policy issues and a measure of exposure to polarizing news.”

I’ve written previously about the ills of social media: they’re time-sucks at work and home, they undermine flesh-and-blood social bonding, they influence your thinking through gate-keeping the newsfeeds you’re exposed to, and they unduly sway your buying decisions through advertisements. Mindlessly scrolling through the airbrushed pictures of others’ lives could remind you of the life you don’t have—potentially instigating feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and self-loathing.

Social media have become a necessity that people have become reluctant to do without. Facebook’s spectacular growth is testimony to the fact that social media offer a core human need that was always wanted. For the moment, we’ll have to rely on individual choices to use social media sparingly and intelligently. Balance is everything—not all or none.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  2. Group Polarization: Like-Mindedness is Dangerous, Especially with Social Media
  3. Buy Yourself Time
  4. Entitlement and Anger Go Together
  5. Surrounded by Yes

Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Conversations, Networking, Persuasion, Social Dynamics, Social Media, Time Management, Worry

Public Speaking is Traumatizing Vulnerable Students

November 7, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

For decades, universities have forced presentations and class participation to be integral to students’ grades. Sure, employers are interested not only in graduates’ subject knowledge but also in their ability to communicate, work in teams, problem-solve, build consensus, and so on.

However, public speaking anxiety is too common in college students, particularly those suffering from chronic social anxiety. Some even dread the sheer prospect of raising their hands in class for fear of being judged.

Sadly, our academic institutions aren’t doing enough to support such students. College is, after all, a place to practice in a supportive environment—it’s better for students to confront their fears in a relatively low-stakes classroom setting than in the real world. One lecturer I know of accommodated a nervous student by dismissing everyone else and making her present only to the professor.

Colleges must emphasize that anxiety and fear of public speaking are entirely normal—Mark Twain famously noted, “There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.” Colleges should assess individual students’ natural ability and teach public speaking as part of university learning, starting with systematic desensitization and conditioning confidence until the students feel they can tackle entire presentations.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  2. The Nature of Worry
  3. This Trick Can Relieve Your Anxiety: “What’s the worst that can happen?”
  4. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

Filed Under: Career Development, Health and Well-being, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Confidence, Presentations, Social Dynamics, Stress, Suffering, Worry

How Not to Handle a Bad Boss

September 20, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Demanding bosses come in an assortment of guises: idealists, megalomaniacs, overbearing tyrants, windbags, windbags, narcissists, micromanagers, and so on. And you’ll work for some at various stages in your career.

But no matter the boss type, attaching labels like demanding or overbearing can eventually turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. The moment you label someone as problematic, you’ve made them more challenging to work with because you’ll no longer give this person the benefit of the doubt. You’ll not relate with them on a productive level.

Idea for Impact: Focus instead on recognizing the boss’s specific behaviors. Calibrate yourself to match your boss’s style, and build a strategic liaison founded on expectations for yourself and the relationship.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. What to Do When Your Boss Steals Your Best Ideas
  2. Affection Is No Defense: Good Intentions Make Excellent Alibis
  3. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  4. The High Cost of Winning a Small Argument
  5. No Amount of Shared Triumph Makes a Relationship Immune to Collapse

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conflict, Getting Along, Managing the Boss, Mindfulness, Relationships, Social Dynamics

When Anonymity Becomes Cowardice

September 8, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

A variety of psychological factors contribute to people being nasty online. Rider University psychologist John Suler famously argued that online environments unleash aspects of our personality that we usually keep under guard—a phenomenon he called the online disinhibition effect. With names concealed, there’s no pressure to maintain a public facade. Cyberspace becomes a separate dimension where the usual rules don’t apply. Actions no longer carry consequences. There’s no liability for rudeness and inappropriate behavior.

The disinhibition effect is also called ‘The Gyges Effect,’ after the Ring of Gyges, a mythical invisibility device in Plato’s Republic. The ring grants its owner the power to become invisible at will. Plato considers whether an intelligent person would be just if one did not have to fear any bad reputation for committing injustices.

When Anonymity Becomes Cowardice - The Psychology of Internet Trolls Social media has a way of magnifying some of the worst facets of human nature. By allowing masked identities, as Professor Suler points out, abusers avoid accountability for their conduct and dissociate their online selves from their real-world selves. In real life, combative behavior triggers a victim’s immediate reaction–a change in tone of voice or a counterargument, even aggression. However, these deterrents are missing or delayed in the online world, and social inhibition is removed. Online abusers see their victims as faceless, abstract cutouts with no feelings and undeserving of fairness, compassion, and honesty.

Idea for Impact: Keep away from being nasty online. Awareness and activism are vital to civic duty, but you should seek out actual human beings who know how to converse intelligently on anything they disagree with.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Ethics Lessons From Akira Kurosawa’s ‘High and Low’
  2. Cancel Culture has a Condescension Problem
  3. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  4. The Sensitivity of Politics in Today’s Contentious Climate
  5. Conscience is A Flawed Compass

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, News Analysis Tagged With: Attitudes, Conflict, Conversations, Conviction, Critical Thinking, Ethics, Politics, Psychology, Social Dynamics

Stop Stigmatizing All Cultural ‘Appropriation’

July 21, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

From The Telegraph over the weekend: a Leeds-based “woke dance school,” the Northern School of Contemporary Dance, “drops ballet from auditions as it is ‘white’ and ‘elitist'” as it “reviews ballet art form as part of a diversity drive.”

Many other performance arts are rooted in other cultural traditions, so should we expect that white folk refrains from performing those because that would be cultural appropriation? Shun yoga, not wear cornrow, and drop taco nights?

Should everyone else avoid trains, cars, computers, and much else because they’re white European originations?

Should people not be allowed to wear clothing, cultivate hobbies, or pursue careers that aren’t reflective of the culture they were raised in?

Look, works of art incorporating racist clichés and caricatural images (such as in The Nutcracker) should be reassessed with a different consciousness. Appropriation is elastic and ill-defined. Not all cultural appropriation is harmful or exploitative, certainly not innocuous cultural appreciation—where elements of other cultures could be used to pay reverence and highlight the historic oppressions of those cultures. Appropriation is but offensive when what’s being appropriated brings problems to the people to who the cultural artifact belongs.

On embargoing ballet, let’s stop denunciations of white pride where it doesn’t exist before. Let’s not fuel resentment with our shrill accusations and ill-thought overreactions and contribute to the rise of white supremacy.

Idea for Impact: Raise cultural hackles only for a good cause, i.e., when there’s real offense intended. Don’t stigmatize valuable cultural interchange. Delimiting features of cultures is contradictory to our goal of creating a diverse, melting-pot society. E pluribus unum.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Cancel Culture has a Condescension Problem
  2. Labeling Damage
  3. Racism and Identity: The Lie of Labeling
  4. The Sensitivity of Politics in Today’s Contentious Climate
  5. Beyond Mansplaining’s Veil

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Biases, Conflict, Critical Thinking, Diversity, Politics, Social Dynamics

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Popular Now

Anxiety Assertiveness Attitudes Balance Biases Coaching Conflict Conversations Creativity Critical Thinking Decision-Making Discipline Emotions Entrepreneurs Etiquette Feedback Getting Along Getting Things Done Goals Great Manager Innovation Leadership Leadership Lessons Likeability Mental Models Mentoring Mindfulness Motivation Networking Parables Performance Management Persuasion Philosophy Problem Solving Procrastination Relationships Simple Living Social Skills Stress Suffering Thinking Tools Thought Process Time Management Winning on the Job Wisdom

About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

Get Updates

Signup for emails

Subscribe via RSS

Contact Nagesh Belludi

RECOMMENDED BOOK:
Confessions of a Public Speaker

Confessions of a Public Speaker: Scott Berkun

Communication consultant Scott Berkun's guidelines on how to reduce anxiety and how to speak in public with greater effectiveness.

Explore

  • Announcements
  • Belief and Spirituality
  • Business Stories
  • Career Development
  • Effective Communication
  • Great Personalities
  • Health and Well-being
  • Ideas and Insights
  • Inspirational Quotations
  • Leadership
  • Leadership Reading
  • Leading Teams
  • Living the Good Life
  • Managing Business Functions
  • Managing People
  • MBA in a Nutshell
  • Mental Models
  • News Analysis
  • Personal Finance
  • Podcasts
  • Project Management
  • Proverbs & Maxims
  • Sharpening Your Skills
  • The Great Innovators

Recently,

  • Chance and the Currency of Preparedness: A Case Study on an Indonesian Handbag Entrepreneur, Sunny Kamengmau
  • Inspirational Quotations #1123
  • Should You Read a Philosophy Book or a Self-Help Book?
  • A Rule Followed Blindly Is a Principle Betrayed Quietly
  • Stoic in the Title, Shallow in the Text: Summary of Robert Rosenkranz’s ‘The Stoic Capitalist’
  • Inspirational Quotations #1122
  • Five Questions to Keep Your Job from Driving You Nuts

Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!