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Resilience

Get Everything Out of Your Head

September 9, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When there’s so much going on in your head, you’re constantly playing mental ping-pong. All those unfinished tasks can indeed affect your ability to be present with anything that you’re doing.

Sitting down to write out all the things that are weighing on your mind can boot out the clutter. Per the Zeigarnik Effect, interrupted tasks and unfinished thoughts tend to inundate you with a constant stream of reminders. Just the simple act of capturing a task can achieve a sense of completion for the moment.

Get It All Out Of Your Head - Reduce Stress Clear off your cluttered desk, pour some tea, put on some relaxing music, light a candle, mute the phone, and write down all the things you need to pay attention to. Work stuff, home stuff, kids stuff, paperwork, school stuff, friends stuff—all the stuff! Get it all out of your head.

Writing down everything that’s occupying your mind right now won’t solve your problems, but it makes them evident. This exercise makes it a lot easier to make good intuitive choices about where you should focus now and where it’s okay that you don’t focus now.

Idea for Impact: Stop what you’re doing right now and write down everything you have in your head. Not only will this exercise put in perspective all those things you need to keep track of, but also it’s a great way to reset your day.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  2. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  3. The Power of Negative Thinking
  4. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy
  5. Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Anxiety, Conversations, Introspection, Mindfulness, Resilience, Stress, Suffering, Task Management, Wisdom, Worry

How to Think Your Way Out of a Negative Thought

April 29, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Think Your Way Out of a Negative Thought

The human mind can become more blinkered in times of emotional turmoil.

The reasons for negative thoughts aren’t always logical, but challenging the stimuli with the following probing questions can help you reappraise the situation and distance yourself from the negative thoughts.

  • What am I concerned about?
  • Is this thought mine or someone else’s that I’ve picked up on?
  • Do I believe this thought?
  • Is this thought accurate?
  • Is this thought realistic?
  • Are the barriers and threats really insurmountable?
  • What’s the worst that can happen?
  • Am I too harsh on myself?
  • What can I learn about this thought?
  • What belief is attached to this thought?
  • How can I reframe this thought to be more realistic and pragmatic?
  • How can I cheer myself up as I would a friend?
  • What’s an affirming baby step that I can take now to pick myself up and rectify this situation?

Idea for Impact: How you think about a condition influences how you feel about it. Often a thought-out, levelheaded analysis of the situation can unshackle the mind’s echo chamber and nudge you to think your way out of a problem and look beyond it.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Power of Negative Thinking
  2. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  3. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  4. How to… Reframe Negative Thoughts
  5. Thought Suppression is Counterproductive

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life Tagged With: Anxiety, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Resilience, Suffering, Worry

Make Time To Do It

April 8, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The essence of time management is to prioritize Think about how these two declarations sound:

  • “Let me make time to do it.”
  • “Let me find time to do it.”

If you asked someone to do something, which response seems more convincing and persuasive?

When someone says they’ll make time to do something, you sense they’ll give the matter a feeling of priority. It implies that they’ll prioritize.

On the other hand, if someone says they’ll find time, it appears like they’ll hope to find a gap where they may fit you in—if they can remember what it is you asked them to do.

Often language—particularly self-talk—can have a way of revealing truths about values and priorities. The expression “I’ll make time” shows how the idea of time management only matters to how important the stuff is that’s competing for your time.

Idea for Impact: You know something is important when one makes time for it.

Think carefully about what you make time to do versus what you find time to do. The essence of time management is to prioritize.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Personal Energy: How to Manage It and Get More Done // Summary of ‘The Power of Full Engagement’
  2. Ask This One Question Every Morning to Find Your Focus
  3. How to Embrace Multitasking
  4. Get Everything Out of Your Head
  5. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize [Two-Minute Mentor #9]

Filed Under: Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conversations, Discipline, Getting Things Done, Mindfulness, Motivation, Resilience, Stress, Task Management, Time Management

Five Ways … You Could Be More Optimistic

March 19, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

  • Five Ways Manage negative emotions and yourself. People who lack the capacity to withstand psychological distress such as anger, fear, frustration, and sadness are at a marked disadvantage in life.
  • Let go of sunk costs. Don’t become stuck with poor decisions hoping that they will eventually work out in your favor. Cut your losses when something’s not working for you. Too much persistence can often be bad.
  • Stop thinking in absolutes. Shun blind optimism. Discard the myth of perfection. Even the most optimistic outlook may do little good without realism and flexibility. Learn to accept and forgive—there’s good and bad in all individuals and things.
  • Do without the word ‘should.’ Instead of telling yourself, “I should have finished that task last week,” substitute the word ‘could.’ Realize you have the option of exercising your own choice.
  • Practice gratitude. Make a list of all the people and things in your life for which you are grateful. Reflect on the richness of the events and relationships that have enhanced your life. Recognizing that you are deserving of all these good things will make you feel good about who you are and what you’ve done.

Bonus: Give yourself time to feel good. When you reach a goal, allow for a period of celebration before taking on the next goal. Treat yourself occasionally, but avoid escapism.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Attitudes, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Regret, Resilience

What Am I Sad About?

March 8, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

When you’re struggling with sadness, part of your feelings may involve experiencing a lot of distress and shame about how sad you feel.

You probably won’t even realize it’s happening, but you’ll feel like “I shouldn’t be this sad” and that “my sadness is a weakness.”

Befriending your feelings and feeling your emotions

It shouldn’t always feel like it’s just you.

When you acknowledge your sadness, you can actually perceive how you’re tunneling yourself into more gloom. Then you could do a much better job of accepting your sadness as it is, as the Bohemian-Austrian poet and novelist Rainer Maria Rilke reminds in the masterpiece Letters to a Young Poet (1929):

How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races – the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses. Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are only princesses waiting for us to act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.

So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises before you larger than any you’ve ever seen, if an anxiety like light and cloud shadows moves over your hands and everything that you do. You must realize that something has happened to you; that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hands and will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.

Thinking through “What am I sad about?” can help you get happier

Try to redirect the blame from yourself and recognize that sadness is a natural and reasonable response to the miseries of the world—some of them personal, some collective.

Yes, believing in yourself in the face of self-doubt can be challenging. But the extent of sadness isn’t immutable.

Thinking through Sadness with Self-Compassion You can trigger a vast shift in how you feel by dropping self-criticism and embracing a more kind, non-judgmental relationship with yourself. Sadness isn’t a state of sin.

  • Change “I can’t do this” to “this will be a challenge for me; it’s normal to feel anxious.
  • Accept “I hate this” with “this is a tough situation to handle, and I’m doing my best.”
  • Persuade yourself to substitute “I hate myself” with “I’m overwhelmed with low self-esteem at the moment, and I need to cheer myself as I would a friend.”
  • Instead of repenting, “I can’t believe it slipped my mind again,” let yourself off by acknowledging, “it’s difficult to balance so many things. Perhaps I need to let go of some of them.”

Idea for Impact: Befriending your feelings and not identifying with these feelings as your self can affirm not only who you are but also what you believe you can be. Even when you feel disturbed because you’re falling back into past patterns, bear in mind that simply being aware that you’ve retreated into going over the past is a precursor of growth. Self-awareness can pave the way to a great leap forward in your personal transformation.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Power of Negative Thinking
  2. Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. How to… Reframe Negative Thoughts

Filed Under: Health and Well-being Tagged With: Adversity, Anxiety, Emotions, Introspection, Regret, Resilience, Suffering, Worry

Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself

February 20, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

It’s okay to be wrong about things. It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay if things don’t go the way you purposed. It’s okay if you say something embarrassing. It’s okay if you make a fool of yourself. It’s okay if you failed. It’s okay if you disappointed a loved one.

We’ve all made mistakes—rushed decisions, careless oversights, and lapses of judgment. Even after taking the thoughtful time and overanalyzing them, we’ve not been able to avoid faults.

And after their immediate effects come to pass, our minds are assaulted by those woulda-coulda-shoulda ruminations.

Don't Be So Hard on Yourself Mistakes are a natural part of your journey. They’re patches of rough and bumpy ground that will eventually help you get where you need to go. Life is a long game, and you’ll never know what your current experiences will mean over time.

Mistakes can offer a kind of insight and perspective that nothing else does. After all, you don’t learn quite as much from a right decision as you do from a wrong one.

Curb the idea that you have to be successful at everything you attempt. In the grand scheme of things, no one’s going to care about your failures, and neither should you.

Idea for Impact: Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are not your mistakes. Perhaps, when life rejects you from something good, it may be redirecting you to something better, whether or not you realize it at that time. Seek ways to move forward.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  2. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  3. The Power of Negative Thinking
  4. Get Everything Out of Your Head
  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

Filed Under: Living the Good Life Tagged With: Adversity, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Perfectionism, Regret, Resilience, Suffering, Wisdom, Worry

Perspective is a Fabulous Gift. Your Life is Your Contribution.

January 25, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Your Life is Your Contribution: The key to a life well led is to make as big a difference as you can

A dear friend is suffering from serious illness and, over the holidays, had a brush with death.

Thinking about aging and dying forces you to face your own mortality. It’s a dreadful wake-up call. It reminds you that, as the Buddha informed, everything is transient, and nothing is permanent. It reminds you to appreciate and savor each day wisely.

Perspective is really a fabulous gift; it’s something people often achieve too late in life. Alas, it takes something as terrifying as sickness and death to prompt you about what is essential.

Don’t forget how precious it’s to be alive. All you’re promised is this very day. Don’t squander it away by agonizing about all that you don’t have. Instead, embrace all that you do have.

Idea for Impact: Make your unique personal contribution to the world

The key to a life well led is to make as big a difference as you can. The utmost measure of a life well-led is how you use your unique talents to make the most significant difference you can.

Your contribution is your way of being in the world.

Don’t commit the great mistake of postponing until when you’ve achieved your life goals before you can start contributing. You’re all that you need to be today.

Commit each day of your life to make a contribution to the changes you wish to see manifest in the world—to whatever cause it is that stirs us up and gets our passions flowing.

You’ll live in alignment when your actions, however small, accord with your intentions. Take responsibility for your contribution.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Choose Pronoia, Not Paranoia
  2. Five Ways … You Could Be More Optimistic
  3. The Secret to Happiness in Relationships is Lowering Your Expectations
  4. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be
  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Adversity, Attitudes, Emotions, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Relationships, Resilience, Success

Choose Pronoia, Not Paranoia

January 18, 2021 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Pronoia: When the world is conspiring in your favor

Pronoia is a weird, incredible feeling that everyone out there is helping you and cheering you on. The world is showering you with blessings.

Yes, that’s the antithesis of paranoia.

Pronoia is the delusional sentiment that people are conspiring in favor of your well-being, speaking nice things behind your back, and rooting for your benefit. The American astrologer Rob Brezsny has written, “Pronoia is the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses and intellect, so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.”

Pronoia is a convivial orientation—one exemplified by feelings of hope, trust, confidence, and affection. Choosing to cultivate optimism thus opens up a new identity. You no longer harbor bitterness and misgivings towards others.

Idea for Impact: Embrace the mindset that life is happening for you instead of against you. It’s a fantastic way to experience life!

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Perspective is a Fabulous Gift. Your Life is Your Contribution.
  2. Five Ways … You Could Be More Optimistic
  3. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy
  4. Sometimes You Should Stop Believing // The Case Against Hope
  5. How to… Reframe Negative Thoughts

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Adversity, Attitudes, Emotions, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Resilience, Success

Constraints Inspire Creativity: How IKEA Started the “Flatpack Revolution”

November 2, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Designer Gillis Lundgren of IKEA In the mid-1950s, Gillis Lundgren (1929–2016) was a draftsman living in a remote Swedish village of Älmhult. He was the fourth employee of a fledging entrepreneur named Ingvar Kamprad.

Kamprad’s business was called IKEA, an acronym combining his initials and those of his family’s farm and a nearby village. He had founded IKEA in 1943 and got his start selling stationery and stockings at age 17. In the 1950s, Kamprad had launched a low-cost mail-order furniture retailer to cater to farmers.

Constraints have played a role in many of the most revolutionary products

IKEA Flatpack Revolution - Gillis Lundgren's Lovet Table In 1956, Lundgren designed a veneered, low coffee table. He built the table at home but realized that the table was too big to fit into the back of his Volvo 445 Duett station wagon. Lundgren cut off the legs, packed them in a flat box with the tabletop, and rushed to a photoshoot for the IKEA furniture catalog.

And in so doing, Lundgren unintentionally birthed the flatpack furniture industry. He modified his simple design and drew up plans for a disassembled version of the table. Lundgren’s Lövet table (now called Lövbacken) became IKEA’s first successful mass-produced product.

IKEA and Its Flatpacking Took Over the World

IKEA’s trademark, easy-to-follow assembly instructions are a central ingredient to the company’s success. Manufacturing and distributing prefabricated furniture via flatpacking has proved enormously successful. It has dramatically facilitated the shipment and storage of pieces that otherwise took up much more space.

'Leading By Design The Ikea Story' by Bertil Torekull (ISBN 0066620384) According to Bertil Torekull’s Leading by Design—The IKEA Story (1998,) the concept of ready-to-assemble furniture is much earlier than that. But IKEA was the first to systematically develop and sell the idea commercially.

Flatpacking contributed to many of IKEA’s products’ enduring popularity—they’re affordable, sleek, functional, and brilliantly efficient. In 1978, Lundgren designed the iconic Billy bookcase, the archetypical IKEA product that currently sells one in three seconds.

IKEA’s aesthetic of simplicity and efficiency reflects in its exclusive design and marketing approach. IKEA constantly questions its design, manufacturing, and distribution to create low-cost and acceptably good products.

The method has been adopted by numerous other business enterprises, transforming how products are made and sold globally.

Constraints Inspire Creativity - How IKEA Started the 'Flatpack Revolution'

Out of Limitations Comes Creativity

One problem with creativity is that sometimes people face an open field of creative possibilities and become paralyzed. Constraints can be the anchors of creativity [see more examples here, here, and here.]

Constraints fuel rather than limit creativity. Use constraints to break through habitual thinking and promote spontaneity. The mere experience of playing around with different constraints can stretch your imagination and open your mind’s eye for ingenuity.

Idea for Impact: Use constraints to help stimulate creativity. As the British writer and art critic G. K. Chesterton once declared, “Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.”

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Overcoming Personal Constraints is a Key to Success
  2. How You See is What You See
  3. Always Be Ready to Discover What You’re Not Looking For
  4. Turning a Minus Into a Plus … Constraints are Catalysts for Innovation
  5. Creativity & Innovation: The Opportunities in Customer Pain Points

Filed Under: Business Stories, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Artists, Creativity, Critical Thinking, Entrepreneurs, Innovation, Parables, Problem Solving, Resilience, Thinking Tools

How You See is What You See

August 15, 2020 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

How You See is What You See

So very often, we don’t give ourselves to allow for new understandings, new perspectives, and new interpretations to emerge.

Three people were visiting and viewing the Grand Canyon—an artist, a pastor and a cowboy. As they stood on the edge of that massive abyss, each one responded with a cry of exclamation. The artist said, “Ah, what a beautiful scene to paint!” The minister cried, “What a wonderful example of the handiwork of God!” The cowboy mused, “What a terrible place to lose a cow!”

Idea for Impact: Work to overcome the strong waves of conditioning that you’ve been exposed to your whole life.

Take a step back and consider how you’re responding to a situation emotionally and intellectually.

Free up your mind from the conditioning that may be restraining it.

Don’t let your narrow perspectives—those comfortable walls within which you confine yourself—to make you lose touch with what’s possible.

Explore. Discover. Discern. Open your mind to new frontiers.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Overcoming Personal Constraints is a Key to Success
  2. Constraints Inspire Creativity: How IKEA Started the “Flatpack Revolution”
  3. What the Duck!
  4. How to Solve a Problem By Standing It on Its Head
  5. Four Ideas for Business Improvement Ideas

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Creativity, Critical Thinking, Parables, Problem Solving, Resilience, Success, Thinking Tools, Thought Process

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!