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Keep Politics and Religion Out of the Office

March 28, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Keep Politics and Religion Out of the Office While workplaces often tout their commitment to diversity, there’s an unspoken expectation to assimilate into their prevailing culture and norms. They prefer a subtle balance of assertiveness, neither too outspoken nor too passive, and opinions that gravitate toward the middle ground. Even dress codes enforce this moderate approach, discouraging extremes of formality or informality.

But what if you’re not inclined toward conformity? What if your passions for politics or religion run deep, making it difficult to remain silent in professional settings?

Politics and religion strike at the core of personal identity for many individuals. They evoke strong emotions and convictions. Yet, discussing these subjects in the workplace can be fraught with peril, given their potential to divide.

You can navigate safely by aligning with politically correct viewpoints and avoiding controversial deviations. Occasionally, a mild comment may pass without incident, as long as it doesn’t offend sensibilities. However, remember that the workplace isn’t a platform for proselytizing personal beliefs. It’s crucial to respect boundaries and gracefully shift topics if conversations make others uncomfortable. Handle disagreements diplomatically, refraining from personal attacks. Also, be mindful that decorating your workspace with contentious symbols could alienate colleagues and disrupt harmony.

Idea for Impact: When it comes to hot-button topics like politics or religion, it’s best to keep those thoughts to yourself at work. Strong opinions can really rub people the wrong way and disrupt teamwork or create an uncomfortable atmosphere. Find other ways outside work to dive into what gets you fired up.

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  3. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  4. Can’t Ban Political Talk at Work
  5. The Problem of Living Inside Echo Chambers

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conflict, Conversations, Getting Along, Networking, Politics, Relationships, Social Dynamics, Teams

Friendships Aren’t Always Built to Last Forever

February 15, 2024 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Friendships Aren't Always Built to Last Forever A bitter truth of life is the fleeting nature of friendships, even those imbued with profound love and mutual regard.

Despite the tender ties forged and the tapestry of memories woven together, some bonds unravel, leaving behind a poignant yearning for what once thrived and the haunting echoes of what might have been.

Sustaining relationships demands a reciprocal commitment and diligent nurturing, as British writer Virginia Woolf eloquently observed in The Waves (1931,) “I have lost friends, some by death—others through sheer inability to cross the street.”

Friendships often follow a natural life cycle. Initially drawn together by the threads of circumstance—work, family, community, or shared passions—a journey unfolds, revealing deeper truths about our essence and desires.

In this unfolding, the connections that once nourished our souls may no longer suffice, and we find ourselves outgrowing the companionships that once defined us.

Some partings come with the gentle acceptance of mutual growth, while others leave behind the lingering ache of unresolved farewells.

Idea for Impact: That many friendships don’t withstand the trials of time is often a hard lesson to learn at any age. A poignant reminder of life’s impermanence.

Wondering what to read next?

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  3. Stop Trying to Prove Yourself to the World
  4. Being Underestimated Can Be a Great Thing
  5. Make Friends Now with the People You’ll Need Later

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Managing People Tagged With: Conflict, Getting Along, Meaning, Mindfulness, Networking, Relationships, Social Life

Potluck Perfect: The Dos and Don’ts of Etiquette

May 29, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Potluck parties are a great way to bring together friends and family on a budget, but just because they’re casual doesn’t mean etiquette should be forgotten. Here’s what both hosts and guests need to know:

For hosts, it’s essential to be clear about what guests should bring, pre-plan the menu, and ensure expectations are within guests’ abilities and budgets. Ensure there’s something for everyone to enjoy. Non-cooks and visitors-to-town should be allowed to bring a charcuterie tray or bakery dessert.

  • Give guests small, simple jobs, but make sure they’re easy and convenient.
  • Encourage socializing. Introduce guests to each other and plan some group activities to get everyone interacting. Plan fun activities, such as lawn games, music, or a bonfire (if weather permits.)

For attendees, let the host know in advance what you’re bringing and check what others are bringing. Let the host know if you want to prepare or bring something else.

  • Bring enough food for everyone to try some and put some effort into it; don’t show up empty-handed or with something as simple as a bag of chips. Put some effort in. Don’t be disrespectful to those who’ve slaved over the stove.
  • Don’t bring a dish or dessert with a serving missing. If your family demands a taste test, divide your preparation into individual servings and transfer them onto a decorative plate.
  • Don’t bring something only you can eat or something super exotic. Stick with what you know and opt for creative dishes from your family or tradition.
  • Don’t bring a dish that needs to be finished or heated in the oven; bring everything you need to serve your dish.
  • Put your dish’s ingredients on an index card and place it next to your pot, so guests with food allergies or dietary restrictions will know what they can eat.
  • If you have dietary restrictions, don’t make a big fuss; bring something you can eat.
  • Arrive on time, offer to help wash up, and try to taste a little bit of everything. Don’t double-dip when eating appetizers or touch all the rolls in the basket.
  • Complement other dishes, ask for a recipe if you’re interested, and don’t expect to leave early with your dish or leftovers unless the host suggests it.

Idea for Impact: A successful potluck gathering is akin to a warm embrace that envelops all in attendance, making them feel right at home and where there is plenty of delicious food and drink to go around.

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  5. Here’s How to Improve Your Conversational Skills

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Leading Teams, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Conversations, Etiquette, Getting Along, Networking, Social Life

The Hidden Influence of Association

March 16, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The “Law” of Association, a maxim popularized by motivational gurus Jack Canfield and Jim Rohn, implies that you’ll become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

This is to say, empirically, everything about you is the average of the five people you hang around most. For instance, your happiness level will be the average of the five of your best mates.

If you want to raise the quality of your life, rub shoulders with people already living the quality of life you aspire to. To become a better communicator, hobnob with great communicators. If you want to be more positive, mix with more optimistic individuals. If you want to be a fabulous parent, spend time with parents who’ve mastered the art.

Birds of a feather flock together … because they share a common vision, and they’re all going in the same direction. So if you’re pursuing a goal, find the people who’ve already attained that goal or are well along the path to achieving that goal. Then be with them, hoping some of their principles rub off on you.

Idea for Impact: In regards to relationships, we’re greatly influenced—whether we like it or not—by those closest to us. Get out there and connect with those whose lives you want to live. Those connections can pay off careerwise and personally.

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  4. Stop Trying to Prove Yourself to the World
  5. Don’t Be Interesting—Be Interested!

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Getting Along, Networking, Relationships, Social Life, Social Skills

The More Facebook Friends You Have, The More Stressed You’ll Be

February 23, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Seems to me that everyone’s getting sick of having to think twice about how anything—everything—they say can upset their followers on social media. We live in an oversensitive and censorious culture. The more friends you have on Facebook, the more likely something you say or do on the site will offend one of your “friends.”

The displeased’s hostility, the outflow of anger, and their petty drama won’t stop until they’ve forced their narrow-minded ideologies upon you. Even unintended slip-ups—even those from years ago—abruptly become grave and irreparable. One episode could affect your whole life. You’ll be called out; you’ll be canceled. Your employer may find that the simplest way to steer clear of the controversy is to fire you and destroy your career.

Idea for Impact: Don’t be oblivious about current events, but be aware of what and how you weigh in on cultural, social, or political issues on social media or in other unsuitable fora.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Keep Politics and Religion Out of the Office
  2. The Sensitivity of Politics in Today’s Contentious Climate
  3. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  4. Witty Comebacks and Smart Responses for Nosy People
  5. Entitlement and Anger Go Together

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Conflict, Conversations, Getting Along, Networking, Politics, Social Dynamics

Gab May Not Be a Gift at All

January 9, 2023 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Ever met a Garrulous Gary who prattles on long after you’ve spaced out? A Chatty Charlie who blabbers on especially to show how much you know? Or a Curious Corinne who asks too many questions too quickly that you feel interrogated?

Whether in a job interview, a business meeting, or with a romantic partner, being long-winded is a sure turn-off. You’re risking being thought of as self-absorbed and conversationally clueless.

The easiest way to avoid being an over-talker is to speak for no more than one minute without stopping or asking a question. Avoid going off on a new tangent.

Constantly “read the room” to see if people are still interested. If the listener wants to hear more or pursue the conversation further, she can ask. Back off if you sense that questions or more details aren’t welcome. Silence isn’t a bad thing.

If someone appears distant or lost in thought, don’t just move into their personal space and try to break the ice with a “hey.” If necessary, ask for permission, “Hi. Is it okay if I talk to you?” Don’t start talking unless you sense that you’ve created a comfortable opportunity for the other person to respond.

Idea for Impact: Focus on what Mark Twain called “Minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.” Perhaps wise sound bites and deeper, more meaningful conversations are what constitute a true gift to gab?

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Filed Under: Effective Communication, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Assertiveness, Conversations, Etiquette, Likeability, Networking, Social Skills

Is It Worth It to Quit Social Media?

December 19, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Yet another study on the benefits of deactivating Facebook:

  • Quitting Facebook could free up 60 minutes per day.
  • “Deactivating Facebook caused small but significant improvements in subjective well-being, and in particular in self-reported happiness, life satisfaction, depression, and anxiety.”
  • “As the [time-away-from-Facebook] experiment ended, participants reported planning to use Facebook much less in the future.”
  • “Deactivation significantly reduced polarization of views on policy issues and a measure of exposure to polarizing news.”

I’ve written previously about the ills of social media: they’re time-sucks at work and home, they undermine flesh-and-blood social bonding, they influence your thinking through gate-keeping the newsfeeds you’re exposed to, and they unduly sway your buying decisions through advertisements. Mindlessly scrolling through the airbrushed pictures of others’ lives could remind you of the life you don’t have—potentially instigating feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and self-loathing.

Social media have become a necessity that people have become reluctant to do without. Facebook’s spectacular growth is testimony to the fact that social media offer a core human need that was always wanted. For the moment, we’ll have to rely on individual choices to use social media sparingly and intelligently. Balance is everything—not all or none.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  2. Group Polarization: Like-Mindedness is Dangerous, Especially with Social Media
  3. Buy Yourself Time
  4. Entitlement and Anger Go Together
  5. Surrounded by Yes

Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Conversations, Networking, Persuasion, Social Dynamics, Social Media, Time Management, Worry

‘Tis the Most Wonderful Time of the Year … to Job-Search

December 1, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

The holidays are around the corner, and this is an excellent time to job-search, especially since most jobs come from networking and referrals.

As you spread the holiday cheer, use greetings as a pretext to catch up with friends, reach out to LinkedIn contacts, and network with people in your industry. Take the opportunity of Christmas and New Year parties to socialize with new people that can help you.

Some workplaces have use-it-or-lose-it money and headcount in the current year’s financial plan that they’d like to commit before year’s end. Other workplaces that have the upcoming year’s plans approved may be eager to jumpstart hiring.

The holiday spirit and the season of giving make hiring managers even more likely to treat you favorably. Moreover, with work winding down for the holiday season, decision-makers are less likely to be in long meetings and business trips, and, therefore, more likely to be at their desks to be contacted.

And you’ll face less competition since few people bother with job-searching at this time of the year.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Improve Your Career Prospects During the COVID-19 Crisis
  2. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?
  3. The Hidden Influence of Association
  4. Being Underestimated Can Be a Great Thing
  5. Stop Trying to Prove Yourself to the World

Filed Under: Career Development, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Career Planning, Job Transitions, Networking, Relationships, Social Life

How to … Know When it’s Time to Quit Your Job

September 1, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

If there’s an acid test for how to know when it’s time to stop and do something different, it’s this.

When you come home from work, and pretty much all you want to do is slouch on the sofa, order takeout, and watch silly videos on TikTok, it’s time to find something else that meshes with your interests and aspirations more closely.

For many people, the central challenge of work-life should be, “How do I bring more of myself to my work?” Your job should make you sweat a little bit, in a good way.

So, when you start to believe you can’t do better, when you start to feel pretty indifferent about what you’re doing, and it’s sapping you of all energy, it’s time to evaluate whether you have the right job at the right company and whether you’re doing the right thing.

Idea for Impact: Above all, whatever you do, work should add energy to your life, not sift it away. Work at a personal plan, and periodically follow up with those who may be able to open doors for you.

Wondering what to read next?

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  3. The Career-Altering Question: Generalist or Specialist?
  4. Five Questions to Keep Your Job from Driving You Nuts
  5. Transient by Choice: Why Gen Z Is Renting More

Filed Under: Career Development Tagged With: Assertiveness, Career Planning, Job Transitions, Networking, Personal Growth, Work-Life

You Need a Personal Cheerleader

June 29, 2022 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Many people credit some of their success to others who believed in them and urged them on when their confidence waned.

A personal cheerleader could be a companion, friend, or family member who believes in you, takes an eager interest and encourages you, and helps lift your self-confidence, even if they raise some practical questions.

This cheerleader could indeed be a mirror through which you can see yourself. Somebody who encourages you to process and think through your experiences and reframe mistakes as opportunities to learn. Somebody who can help you notice things you do well, however small.

Idea for Impact: A personal cheerleader is pivotal to a meaningful, resilient life. Curtailing negative self-talk is difficult when you’re trying to build your self-confidence.

Wondering what to read next?

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  3. Office Chitchat Isn’t Necessarily a Time Waster
  4. Witty Comebacks and Smart Responses for Nosy People
  5. The Curse of Teamwork: Groupthink

Filed Under: Career Development, Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Coaching, Conversations, Mentoring, Networking, Social Skills

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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