• Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Right Attitudes

Ideas for Impact

Mindfulness

But Is It Sustainable?

April 17, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Make Sustainability Your Mindset: Is It Durable and Lasting? Sure, you’re on a streak, but how long can it really last? Sooner or later, you’ll hit a wall and have to rethink your approach.

Success never sticks around for long—enjoy it, but stay sharp. Complacency makes it easy to overlook the cracks forming beneath the surface.

Sometimes, you know what you’re doing won’t hold up forever, but it’s a necessary move to get ahead. Other times, what once worked effortlessly starts wearing you down. Spot the warning signs early and set clear limits. If it’s not built to last, step away before it drains your time, energy, and ambition.

Idea for Impact: Make sustainability the cornerstone of your mindset. “Is it durable?” “Can it hold up?” “How soon before it starts to crack?” Keep coming back to these questions.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. I’ll Be Happy When …
  2. Take Time to Savor Life’s Little Pleasures
  3. Be Kind … To Yourself
  4. The One Person You Deserve to Cherish
  5. When Giving Up Can Be Good for You

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Balance, Discipline, Mindfulness, Motivation, Simple Living

10 Things That Are Holding You Back

April 14, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Conquer the Mental and Habitual Barriers Keeping You Stuck The biggest obstacles in your way aren’t out there; they’re in your head—and in your habits. Drop them, or they’ll drag you.

  1. The Need to Be Right. Your ego is holding you back. Let go of the need to prove yourself and embrace learning from others.
  2. Control. Trying to control everything keeps you stuck. Surrender and trust the process.
  3. Blame—it’s a trap. Own your choices, and free yourself to move forward.
  4. Self-Doubt. Negative self-talk limits your potential. Silence doubt and empower yourself to grow.
  5. Impressing Others. Seeking approval is draining. Live authentically, not for others’ validation.
  6. Excuses. They block progress. Take responsibility and make things happen.
  7. Living for Others’ Expectations. You’re not living someone else’s life. Pursue your dreams, not theirs.
  8. Perfection. Chasing perfection slows you down. Embrace progress, not flawless outcomes.
  9. The Past. The past is history. Focus on the present and shape your future.
  10. Fear of Failure. Fear keeps you stuck. See failure as growth and move forward with confidence.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Decisions, Decisions: Are You a Maximizing Maniac or a Satisficing Superstar?
  2. What Are You So Afraid Of? // Summary of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’
  3. Resilience Through Rejection
  4. Fear of Failure is an Obstacle to Growth
  5. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg McKeown’s ‘Essentialism’

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Balance, Decision-Making, Discipline, Fear, Introspection, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Psychology, Success, Therapy

Gratitude Can Hold You Back

April 10, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Gratitude Can Hold You Back Gratitude is powerful, but it can be a double-edged sword. Overemphasizing it can lead to complacency, turning appreciation into an excuse to settle. Constantly focusing on the positives can stall your drive, keeping you in stasis instead of moving forward. When gratitude keeps you locked onto what’s good, it might block you from striving for better.

Being overly grateful can also mask real issues, making you too comfortable with less-than-ideal situations. It can act as a barrier, covering up problems that need attention. Staying grateful when things aren’t right can trap you in a cycle of passive acceptance, blinding you to what needs to change. The risk? Problems fester, and growth halts.

There’s a toll on mental health, too. When gratitude stops you from seeking what you deserve, it becomes a silent acceptance of low standards—even neglect and mistreatment. This constant effort to “feel grateful” can stifle authentic emotions like frustration or ambition, leaving you passive and stuck. Real gratitude should inspire change, not block it.

Idea for Impact: Balance is key. Embrace gratitude as a grounding tool. Appreciate what you have, but don’t let gratitude become a crutch. Identify areas where discontent could drive you forward. Push through passivity and claim what you deserve.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Confucius on Dealing with People
  2. A Grateful Heart, A Happy Heart // Book Summary of Janice Kaplan’s ‘The Gratitude Diaries’
  3. Mindfulness Can Disengage You from Others
  4. No Duty is More Pressing Than That of Gratitude: My Regret of Missing the Chance to Thank Prof. Sathya
  5. Kindness: A Debt You Can Only Pass On

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life, Managing People Tagged With: Emotions, Getting Along, Gratitude, Introspection, Kindness, Mindfulness, Virtues

Be Comfortable with Who You Are

April 7, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Embrace Your Imperfections---Be Comfortable with Who You Are “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Nobody’s perfect. Focusing on your flaws—what you don’t have instead of what you do—only holds you back and makes it harder to be happy.

Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. Accept yourself, mistakes and all, and show some compassion when things don’t go right. It’ll make life more enjoyable and help you stop expecting so much from others.

  • Notice what you’re good at: Even the small stuff counts. Ask a friend what they think your best qualities are—you might be surprised at how good it feels. Try using your strengths more often.
  • Manage your emotions: Think about how you react to things. Control your feelings and watch what you say. Find the bright side in tough situations. Becoming more aware of how you handle emotions will help you in the long run.

Idea for Impact: When you’re truly okay with yourself, you won’t feel the need to impress others or compare yourself to anyone else.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to … Care Less About What Other People Think
  2. Who Told You That Everybody Was Going to Like You?
  3. Let Others Think What They May
  4. It’s Never About You
  5. Could Limiting Social Media Reduce Your Anxiety About Work?

Filed Under: Managing People, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Attitudes, Conflict, Getting Along, Likeability, Mindfulness

Avoid Telling Someone in Trouble “Be Positive” … It Denies Their Reality

April 3, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Forced Positivity is a Form of Denial Encouraging someone to “just be positive” during tough times can inadvertently overlook the complexity of their situation and the depth of their emotions.

Positivity helps, but not all issues are solved with it. Each person processes difficulties differently and simply urging someone to be positive may trivialize their emotions or leave them feeling invalidated. It doesn’t boost their resilience.

Forced positivity stifles the essence of true life. Instead, extend support, empathy, and understanding. Avoid denying their reality or pressuring them to suppress their emotions and pretend to be positive. Refrain from creating barriers to open communication, as this may compel them to conceal their true feelings to meet the expectation of positivity.

Idea for Impact: Forced positivity is a form of denial. True strength is often found in authenticity. Navigating life’s challenges starts with acknowledging its abundance of shortcomings, foibles, and crippling insecurities.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond
  2. Signs Your Helpful Hand Might Stray to Sass
  3. Stop Trying to Fix Things, Just Listen!
  4. Avoid Trigger Words: Own Your Words with Grace and Care
  5. Think Twice Before You Launch That Truth Bomb

Filed Under: Effective Communication, Managing People Tagged With: Coaching, Conversations, Emotions, Etiquette, Getting Along, Listening, Mindfulness, Social Skills

How to … Break the Complaint Habit

March 25, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

No-complaint Challenge: Encourages Self-awareness and Constructive Speech The No-Complaint Challenge is more than simply holding back complaints. It’s about shifting your mindset. Start small—one day or a week. Replace negativity with gratitude or proactive problem-solving. Ask yourself, “What’s my next baby step forward?” Tiny steps Small Steps, Big Revolutions Rightattitudes can lead to transformative change.

Science agrees. Complaining reinforces stress and negative patterns. Breaking the habit rewires your brain for optimism and resilience. Therapists recommend it to cultivate constructive, solution-focused thinking.

Need a boost? Place a Post-it reminder on your mirror, desk, or computer screen. It’s a simple nudge to keep your goal front and center, helping you redirect frustration into action—or non-action in this case.

The No-Complaint habit goes deeper. It reduces stress, promotes emotional clarity, and sharpens problem-solving skills. Over time, you’ll find a calmer, more optimistic outlook and greater ease in navigating life’s challenges.

Try it. No complaints. Just growth.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The More You Can Manage Your Emotions, the More Effective You’ll Be
  2. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  3. How People Defend Themselves in a Crisis
  4. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  5. Summary of Richard Carlson’s ‘Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff’

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Living the Good Life, Managing People, Mental Models Tagged With: Emotions, Getting Along, Mindfulness, Relationships, Stress, Suffering, Worry

Shun the Shadows of Self-Tyranny

March 17, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Shun the Shadows of Self-Tyranny: Don't Be Too Harsh on Yourself We’ve all witnessed moments where someone verbally attacks another person. Comments like “You silly goose!” “You self-centered fool!” or “You ungrateful jerk!” are not only harsh and abusive, but they also quickly erode the attacker’s self-respect. Thankfully, most of us think, “I’d never speak to anyone like that.” We recognize the importance of respecting someone’s dignity and self-esteem.

However, we sometimes find that while we wouldn’t use such harsh language towards others, we have no problem directing similar vitriol at ourselves. We catch ourselves saying things like, “I’m such an idiot!” “I’m a real jerk!” or “I can be a little dim-witted!”

In other words, although we wouldn’t treat others with such cruelty, we mistakenly believe it’s acceptable to speak to ourselves that way. This phenomenon, known as “self-tyranny,” involves adopting authoritarian tendencies toward ourselves, leading to self-directed oppression. It’s simply despicable.

The significance is clear-cut: if you tend to criticize or demean yourself in such harsh terms, it’s time for a personal psychological rethink. You should treat yourself with the same respect and kindness you offer to others.

  1. Beware Extreme Self-Control: Rigidly controlling your own behavior and thoughts can lead to self-oppression.
  2. Avoid Overly Strict Ideals: Imposing harsh, uncompromising standards on yourself mirrors the absolutism of fascist ideology and can lead to a rigid adherence to personal ideals.
  3. Watch for Intense Self-Surveillance: Constantly monitoring and judging yourself with excessive severity resembles the surveillance state in oppressive regimes. Ditch that authoritarian approach to self-management.

Think well, act well, and treat yourself well!

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself
  2. The Power of Negative Thinking
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal
  5. Blame Your Parents for Your Current Problems?

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Adversity, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Perfectionism, Resilience, Suffering

The Fastest Stress Reliever: A Bit of Perspective & Clarity

March 13, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

A Fast Stress Reliever: A Bit of Perspective & Clarity One of the best strategies my coaching clients use to manage stress is a simple shift in perspective. By stepping back from a stressful situation, you gain clarity, manage your emotions, prioritize effectively, and tackle problems with a more constructive mindset.

When life hits us with major challenges—like losing a job or the death of a loved one—we somehow find the strength to power through.

Tiny Annoyances, Big Impact: The Stress Paradox

But the little things? That’s where the real frustration lies. Everyday annoyances like getting cut off in traffic, being shoved by impatient passengers, slow walkers when we’re in a rush, terrible restaurant service, snarky coworkers, or passive-aggressive in-laws can feel like the end of the world.

However, these moments that seem catastrophic at the time are usually just blips on the radar. Stress has a way of turning molehills into mountains, but when you take a step back, you realize these “big” problems rarely matter in the long run. Suddenly, instead of drowning in chaos, you’re calmly navigating through it, realizing you have far more control than you thought.

Shift Your Perspective, Shift Your Stress

This is the core message of Richard Carlson’s Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… And It’s All Small Stuff (1997; my summary.) Perspective works wonders—it pulls you out of the drama and reminds you that this is just a small chapter in the bigger story of your life. With that clarity, stress starts to fade, leaving room for calm, rational thinking.

Idea for Impact: I rely on my 5-5-5 Rule to keep things in perspective: when you’re about to lose it over something minor, ask yourself—Will this matter in 5 days? 5 months? 5 years? The answer is almost always no. The key is to shift to that “wise-you” mindset when it matters most. Once you do, life becomes far more peaceful—and a lot less stressful.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Summary of Richard Carlson’s ‘Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff’
  2. Anger is the Hardest of the Negative Emotions to Subdue
  3. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  4. Learn to Manage Your Negative Emotions and Yourself
  5. This May Be the Most Potent Cure for Melancholy

Filed Under: Health and Well-being, Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anger, Emotions, Mindfulness, Resilience, Stress, Suffering, Thought Process, Wisdom

Radical Acceptance: Book Summary of Susan Henkels’s ‘What if There Is Nothing Wrong With You’

March 11, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

'What if There Is Nothing Wrong With You' by Susan Henkels (ISBN 0692188541) In four decades of practice, psychotherapist Susan Henkels had listened as people catalog everything they believe is wrong with themselves. One day, as a patient rattled off her list of flaws, Henkels had an epiphany: What if there’s nothing wrong with her?. This pivotal moment inspired her book, What If There Is Nothing Wrong With You: A Practice in Reinterpretation (2018.)

Henkels contends that we often define ourselves by perceived flaws, convinced happiness lies in fixing them. We craft endless lists of what’s “wrong” and pursue self-improvement as the cure for our discontent. Her question flips the script: Could I be enough already? This perspective offers a powerful shift. Instead of dwelling on judgment and negative self-talk, Henkels champions radical acceptance—embracing yourself as you are, nothing more, nothing less. Her book advocates a mindset of “it is what it is,” liberating readers from the heavy burden of self-criticism and creating space for relief and renewal.

Henkels acknowledges this isn’t a magic fix. It won’t transform your life overnight. What it does is curb the relentless inner critic, making room for growth and clarity. Releasing the belief that you’re fundamentally flawed allows you to live more fully in the present.

This approach doesn’t aim for perfection. Yes, you could eat better, procrastinate less, or fix a few habits. But obsessing over flaws keeps you stuck, preventing you from truly living.

Recommendation: Skim What if There Is Nothing Wrong With You if you must. At just 124 pages, the book is light on depth. Her TED Talk captures the essence. The takeaway: Stop fixing what isn’t broken. Reclaim your life.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Avoid the Trap of Desperate Talk
  2. When Optimism Feels Hollow
  3. A Bit of Insecurity Can Help You Be Your Best Self
  4. The Gift of the Present Moment
  5. The Simple Life, The Good Life // Book Summary of Greg McKeown’s ‘Essentialism’

Filed Under: Living the Good Life, Mental Models Tagged With: Assertiveness, Attitudes, Conversations, Happiness, Mindfulness, Perfectionism, Wisdom

Is Low Self-Esteem Your Problem or Your Excuse?

March 3, 2025 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Is Low Self Esteem Your Problem or Your Excuse? Many people blame their problems on low self-esteem, but often this is just a way to dodge the harder truth: they might actually have lower intellectual, emotional, or social abilities.

If you think low self-esteem is your problem, consider whether it’s truly reflecting a reality that’s worse than it is. True low self-esteem occurs when your self-appraisal is harsher than reality.

Next time you attribute your issues to low self-esteem, ask yourself if the real problem might be lower ability. Using low self-esteem as an excuse can hinder your personal growth by shifting the focus away from practical solutions and onto self-defeating habits.

Idea for Impact: Instead of just trying to boost your self-esteem, focus on improving your skills, adjusting your expectations, or taking actionable steps. This approach will likely lead to stepped progress and help you overcome obstacles more effectively.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Know Your Triggers, Master Your Emotions
  2. Cope with Anxiety and Stop Obsessive Worrying by Creating a Worry Box
  3. Therapeutic Overreach: Diagnosing Ordinary Struggles as Disorders
  4. This ‘Morning Pages’ Practice is a Rebellion Against the Tyranny of Muddled Thinking
  5. Expressive Writing Can Help You Heal

Filed Under: Mental Models, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Anxiety, Confidence, Conversations, Emotions, Introspection, Mindfulness, Motivation

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Popular Now

Anxiety Assertiveness Attitudes Balance Biases Coaching Conflict Conversations Creativity Critical Thinking Decision-Making Discipline Emotions Entrepreneurs Etiquette Feedback Getting Along Getting Things Done Goals Great Manager Innovation Leadership Leadership Lessons Likeability Mental Models Mentoring Mindfulness Motivation Networking Parables Performance Management Persuasion Philosophy Problem Solving Procrastination Relationships Simple Living Social Skills Stress Suffering Thinking Tools Thought Process Time Management Winning on the Job Wisdom

About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

Get Updates

Signup for emails

Subscribe via RSS

Contact Nagesh Belludi

RECOMMENDED BOOK:
The 48 Laws of Power

The 48 Laws of Power: Robert Greene

Robert Greene's controversial bestseller about manipulative people and advance your cause---or how to understand others and protect yourself from the nefarious.

Explore

  • Announcements
  • Belief and Spirituality
  • Business Stories
  • Career Development
  • Effective Communication
  • Great Personalities
  • Health and Well-being
  • Ideas and Insights
  • Inspirational Quotations
  • Leadership
  • Leadership Reading
  • Leading Teams
  • Living the Good Life
  • Managing Business Functions
  • Managing People
  • MBA in a Nutshell
  • Mental Models
  • News Analysis
  • Personal Finance
  • Podcasts
  • Project Management
  • Proverbs & Maxims
  • Sharpening Your Skills
  • The Great Innovators

Recently,

  • What Appears Self-Evident to One May Be Entirely Opaque to Another: How the Dalai Lama Apology Highlights Cultural Relativism
  • Inspirational Quotations #1136
  • Ditch Deadlines That Deceive
  • Invention is Refined Theft
  • You Need to Stop Turning Warren Buffett Into a Prophet
  • Inspirational Quotations #1135
  • What the Dry January Trap Shows Us About Extremes

Unless otherwise stated in the individual document, the works above are © Nagesh Belludi under a Creative Commons BY-NC-ND license. You may quote, copy and share them freely, as long as you link back to RightAttitudes.com, don't make money with them, and don't modify the content. Enjoy!