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Be Proactive and Seek Feedback from Your Manager

September 26, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi Leave a Comment

Feedback is a critical component of our work. We need to understand whether our performance aligns with what is expected of us. We need to know what we are doing well, what we need to change and how we could improve. We need help to discover opportunities to advance our careers.

One of the common grievances of professionals is that their managers rarely give them adequate feedback. These feelings are not totally unfounded. Managers tend to be busy and deliver feedback only during cursory performance reviews. And, instinctively, managers fear confrontation: they assume that their employees may respond to even the slightest criticism with anger, defensiveness and alienation. Employees, for their part, resent feedback because they dislike being criticized.

This article suggests what you can do to effectively secure feedback from your manager. I have shared this process with several professionals who have successfully adopted it to further develop relationships with their managers.

Soliciting Feedback

  • Set up regular meetings with your manager to seek feedback. Do not wait for the quarterly or annual performance reviews to solicit it.
  • Prepare and send an agenda to your manager at least one day prior to your meeting. Use the questions in the following section to guide your discussions and agenda. Tailor the questions to suit your unique projects and goals. Cover all the broader, important topics on a regular basis.
  • Assure your manager that her opinions and suggestions matter and that you will listen to and act on them. You need not necessarily agree with every assessment, but remain open—do not grow defensive or angry. If you must disagree, do so politely. Offer your opinions using phrases such as “Could it be because …,” “how about …,” or “perhaps, another way to look at this is ….”
  • Ask for specific examples. Take down notes. Conclude the meeting by thanking your manager. Affirm that you will develop and share with her a plan of action.
  • Review your notes from the meeting. Look for patterns in her comments and suggestions. In a day or two, follow up with your action plan.

Ten Questions to Ask to Solicit Feedback from Your Manager

  • “How am I doing on project or goal X? What can I do differently to be more effective?
  • “My most important projects or goals are X, Y and Z. Do you think I have the priorities right?
  • “Am I meeting your expectations in keeping you updated on my progress / project X? How can I organize information better to help you understand my projects and our achievements?
  • “What goals do you see for me on project X (or over the next N months?) How will you measure me against these goals?
  • “What strengths do I bring to your team? What personal skills will enable me to grow and contribute better?
  • “How do you see my career developing in this organization over the long-term? What suggestions do you have to prepare me for such opportunities?
  • “What steps do you suggest I take to broaden my exposure to our functional area and build my skills? What specific steps can I take to widen my perspective in our functional area? What key challenges will I face?
  • “What can I do to expand my role? May I assume any additional responsibilities?
  • “What are your goals for the immediate future? What are your team’s most important projects and initiatives? How can I best support your goals?
  • “How do you think our organization and customers will change in the future? What opportunities do you see? What challenges will we face? How will our roles evolve? How can we prepare? What is our management’s perspective on the future?”

Concluding Thoughts

This article suggests an informal and practical process to solicit feedback from your manager. By exercising initiative, asking the right questions and proactively soliciting feedback, you can recognize and adapt to your manager’s and the organization’s expectations of you and discover prospects for larger responsibilities and promotions.

Your manager will appreciate your eagerness to openly communicate, improve, adapt, and contribute further. She will be more forthcoming in her assessment of your work and more likely to offer suggestions for improvement.

By understanding your manager’s expectations and priorities, you can secure the support and resources you need to achieve your goals. Keeping your manager informed helps foster dependability and build a stronger, mutually beneficial working relationship that helps you, your manager and the organization.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. How to Improve Your Career Prospects During the COVID-19 Crisis
  2. Never Skip Those 1-1 Meetings
  3. Learning from Bad Managers
  4. Five Questions to Spark Your Career Move
  5. What to Do When Your Boss Steals Your Best Ideas

Filed Under: Career Development, Managing People Tagged With: Feedback, Managing the Boss

Manager Tools’ Feedback Model

February 23, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi 2 Comments

Preamble

The last two articles discussed the popular ‘sandwich technique‘ for giving interpersonal feedback. The first article introduced the sandwich feedback technique. The second article critiqued this method and discussed three common mistakes that render the sandwich technique ineffective.

This follow-up article will introduce an effective feedback technique and list links for further information.

This article focuses on manager-to-employee feedback. However this feedback model can be the foundation for giving feedback in other interpersonal contexts as well—between peers or between spouses, for instance.

The Manager Tools Feedback Model

Manager Tools is a widely-admired suite of management techniques to help shape effective managers and leaders. The weekly podcasts on this site feature Manager Tools’ principals, Mark Horstman and Mike Auzenne, discussing their tools and tips to help audiences advance their managerial and leadership skills. The discussion forums are useful as well.

Perhaps the most popular and most effective of the Manager Tools ideas is the effective feedback model. Here is a summary of the four steps in this feedback technique.

  1. Ask an employee whether they are open to some feedback. Example: “Jack, may I give you some feedback?”
  2. Describe specific behavior you saw, heard, or read about. Example: “Jack, when you roll your eyes in meetings when others talk; when you say “you guys don’t get it”; when you come late to meetings and leave in the middle…”
  3. Describe the impact of the behavior. Once you have described what you observed, tell them what you felt or what impact it had on the company, project, or team. Example: “Jack, when you roll your eyes and tell others they “don’t get it”, here’s what happens. We lose good people. You lose opportunities you want, like that last move that you didn’t get.”
  4. Discuss next steps. Even with affirmative (positive) feedback, state “Good work. Keep it up.” For corrective (negative) feedback, ask open-ended or leading questions to encourage the employee to suggest change. Example: “What can you do about this? How can I help you?”

Further Information

Here are links to podcasts and references for further information on the Manager Tools effective feedback model.

  • Effective feedback model: podcast on the four-step technique and the corresponding summary sheet.
  • Podcast on frequently asked questions on the effective feedback model
  • Podcast on tailoring feedback to distinct employee communication styles.
  • Podcast on adapting the feedback model for giving feedback to peers.
  • A list of podcasts for advancing managerial and leadership’s skills.

Call for Action

Feedback is a central component of the manager-employee relationship. Employees get better at their jobs only when their managers give them timely, relevant and forthright feedback—both affirmative and corrective feedback.

Use the Manager Tools feedback model to enhance your feedback skills and communicate effectively with employees.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. On the Use of ‘But’ in Interpersonal Feedback
  2. Never Skip Those 1-1 Meetings
  3. Employee Surveys: Perceptions Apart
  4. Employee Surveys: Asking for Feedback is Not Enough
  5. How to … Deal with a Colleague Who Talks Too Much

Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conversations, Feedback

Why the Compliment Sandwich Feedback Technique is Ineffective

February 22, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi

Sandwich feedback technique

Yesterday’s article presented the popular ‘sandwich technique’ for giving interpersonal feedback. This follow-up article will critique this method and discuss three common mistakes that render the sandwich technique ineffective.

These discussions and examples focus on manager-to-employee feedback. However, this analysis is relevant to other interpersonal contexts, including interactions between peers or between spouses.

Mary Kay Ash on the Sandwich Technique

Mary Kay Ash, American entrepreneur and founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, discusses the sandwich feedback technique in her popular book, ‘Mary Kay on People Management’.

'Mary Kay on People Management' by Mary Kay Ash (ISBN 0446513148) Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. … A manager should be able to tell someone when something is wrong without bruising an ego in the process.

Never giving criticism without praise is a strict rule for me. No matter what you are criticizing, you must find something good to say—both before and after. This is called sandwich technique.

Try to praise in the beginning and then again after discussing the problem. You don’t subject people to harsh criticism or provoke anger.

Common Mistake 1: Praise is substantial and obscures the criticism

Sandwich feedback: when praise obscures criticism Consider the following case. Sarah was the head of a committee that organized the annual family picnic at her company. The committee exceeded the picnic budget by 35%. Sarah’s boss uses the sandwich technique to criticize her for her failure to control expenditure.

  • Praise: “Sarah, our management was very impressed with the attendance at our annual family picnic. The weather was great. The catered food was excellent. The activities for children were wonderful. You even organized contests for children and family.”
  • Criticism: “By the way, you overspent by 35%. You should check your expenses and try to be within budget.”
  • Praise: “I understand you worked very hard to coordinate the logistics. I congratulate you for doing a remarkable job leading the committee and for your enthusiasm. Thank you for a job well done.”

In the above example, the praise is substantial and obscures the criticism. Sarah may neglect the criticism since the criticism is insignificant—therefore, lost—when sandwiched between “heavy layers of praise.”

Common Mistake 2: Praise is trivial or just-for-sake and serves no function

Sandwich feedback: when feedback is trivial or just for sake Suppose that Charlie led a brainstorming meeting for a new product. One of his new fresh-from-college employees proposed an idea that was not practicable. Charlie was annoyed with the idea and responded, “That is a stupid idea. You are thoughtless. You have been here for less than a week. I don’t think you are knowledgeable enough to contribute to our discussions here.”

Janet, Charlie’s boss, observed this interaction. After the meeting, she wanted to criticize Charlie for condemning the new employee in the presence of several other employees. Janet recalled the sandwich feedback technique. However, she could not conceive praise for Charlie. Hastily, she stated something trivial just for the sake of paving the way to her criticism.

  • Praise: “Charlie, good job organizing the meeting.”
  • Criticism: “I noticed that you openly called the new employee’s idea “foolish” and dismissed it. Don’t you realize he is fresh from college? Did you see his reaction? He felt dejected and showed no enthusiasm during the rest of the meeting. He was probably there to meet people from our department and learn how we manage projects. How can you expect him to feel happy about joining your team? I have noticed that you jump to criticize other people’s ideas in meetings. A good manager encourages participation. I think you should apologize to the new employee. [Pause]”
  • Praise: “Hmm … anyway. Good meeting. I liked your flowchart.”

As in the above example, for the sake of sandwiching their criticism, managers tend to offer unrelated—often trivial—praises when faced with the challenge of criticizing their employees. Such praise is inconsequential and, therefore, defeats the purpose of the sandwich technique.

Common Mistake 3: Employees get tuned in to the praise-criticism-praise pattern

Sandwich feedback: employees get tuned in to the pattern Once managers use the sandwich feedback technique a few times, employees recognize the praise-criticism-praise pattern. They realize that the managers offer criticism after initiating their conversations with praise. Subsequently they learn to discount this praise since such praise is just a lead-in to the criticism.

Idea for Impact: Compliment Sandwiches are Easily Spotted as Inauthentic; The Sandwich Feedback Technique is Ineffective

Frequently, from the aforementioned mistakes, the sandwich technique undercuts praise with criticism. A praise followed by criticism undermines the positive impact of praise and weakens the corrective feedback’s significance.

Sandwich feedback is perhaps best used to help new managers develop feedback skills: to provide affirmative feedback to encourage employees to repeat desired behaviors and to offer corrective feedback to influence change. Once managers are comfortable giving feedback, they can focus on discussing what their employees do right and defer offering corrective feedback for other conversations.

In summary, it’s best to be direct when giving feedback, because the compliment sandwiches are easily spotted as inauthentic. Feedback is effective only when it’s timely, relevant and forthright. Tomorrow’s article will introduce an effective feedback technique.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Guide to Your First Management Role // Book Summary of Julie Zhuo’s ‘The Making of a Manager’
  2. Should Staff Be Allowed to Do ‘Life Admin’ at Work?
  3. Nothing Like a Word of Encouragement to Provide a Lift
  4. How to Address Employees with Inappropriate Clothing
  5. To Micromanage or Not?

Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conversations, Feedback

How to Give A Compliment Sandwich Feedback

February 20, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi 23 Comments

Sandwich Feedback Technique

This article presents the popular ‘compliment sandwich technique’ for giving interpersonal feedback. Tomorrow’s follow-up article will critique this method and discuss three common mistakes that render the sandwich technique ineffective.

These discussions and examples focus on manager-to-employee feedback. This analysis is, however, relevant to other interpersonal contexts—between peers or spouses, for instance.

Managers Often Resent Giving Corrective Feedback

Feedback is a central component of the manager-employee relationship. Often, managers are reluctant resent giving corrective (or negative) feedback. They assume employee defensiveness and fear that negative feedback will offend the employee and thus affect their rapport with the employee. Such managers are likely to withhold criticism. They fail to provide timely, relevant feedback in various circumstances, from employee tardiness to inappropriate attire (especially if the employee is of the opposite gender.)

Sandwich Feedback & Purported Benefits

The sandwich feedback technique is a popular three-step procedure to help managers who are ill at ease with providing corrective feedback. The sandwich feedback method consists of praise followed by corrective feedback followed by more praise. In other words, the sandwich feedback method involves discussing corrective feedback that is “sandwiched” between two layers of praise.

The purported benefits of this technique are twofold: (1) it softens the impact of the criticism or corrective feedback, and, (2) given that a manager is probably more comfortable with praising the employee, the manager finds it easier to discuss problems with the employee’s behavior if this discussion begins and ends with praising the employee.

Compliment Sandwich Feedback: Example 1

Suppose that Andy, a new employee at a financial services firm, attended a week-long, offsite training program in New York. Each night during his stay at a hotel, Andy purchased on-demand movies in his room. He included the corresponding $65 charge in his expense report. Andy also dined at very pricey restaurants.

Jean, Andy’s manager, received the expense report for approval. Clearly, the charge for the movies had no business-justification. Jean uses the sandwich feedback technique to decline reimbursement for this expense and instruct Andy to be more prudent about expenses when traveling:

  • Praise: “Andy, I am impressed with your development since you joined my team last month. You have used the skills you learned during your training in New York to systematically review our customer’s accounts.”
  • Criticism: “By the way, earlier this morning, I was reviewing the expense report from your trip to New York. I notice a $65 charge for on-demand movies. I have to deny this expense since it has no business-justification. I also noticed very expensive meals. I will approve these charges this time. Given our limited travel budgets, I would ask you to be more careful about your trip expenses. You are probably not aware of our company’s travel policy. I have asked Human Resources to give you a copy of our travel policy booklet that details the acceptable expense report practices.”
  • Praise: “I am glad you were able to use the skills you learned at this training in New York. I appreciate your hard work and persistence with this customer. Keep up the good work.”

Compliment Sandwich Feedback: Example 2

Assume Sofia led a brainstorming meeting for an important project. Habitually, Sofia does not circulate the agendas prior to the meetings she leads. After one such meeting, Sofia’s manager uses the sandwich feedback technique to persuade her to be more organized:

  • Praise: “Sofia, we had a very productive meeting. We had the right participants and collected all the necessary inputs from other departments. Thanks for your coordination.”
  • Criticism: “Did you notice that the discussions were unsystematic? When you do not distribute an agenda prior to the meeting, the participants do not come prepared. During the meeting, they have to go back to their desks to collect information. Additionally, we tend to spend a lot of time digressing from the meeting objectives. How can you avoid this?” A discussion ensues.
  • Praise: “You are doing so well with gathering all the inputs. I am pleased about your diligence in circulating minutes of your meetings and following-up on action items. “

Concluding Thoughts

The sandwich feedback technique enables a manager to restructure feedback so it is easier to deliver. The technique also reinforces good behavior and asks for improvements.

Tomorrow’s article will discuss, with simple examples, three common mistakes that defeat the purpose of sandwiching corrective feedback between two layers of praise. In summary, it’s best to be direct when giving feedback, because the compliment sandwiches are easily spotted as inauthentic.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. A Guide to Your First Management Role // Book Summary of Julie Zhuo’s ‘The Making of a Manager’
  2. Should Staff Be Allowed to Do ‘Life Admin’ at Work?
  3. Nothing Like a Word of Encouragement to Provide a Lift
  4. How to Address Employees with Inappropriate Clothing
  5. To Micromanage or Not?

Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conversations, Feedback

General Electric’s Jack Welch Identifies Four Types of Managers

February 6, 2008 By Nagesh Belludi 5 Comments

Jack Welch's Four Types of Managers

Four Types of Managers

Jack Welch, Chairman and CEO of General Electric from 1981 to 2001, described four categories of managers in General Electric’s year 2000 annual report.

Type 1: shares our values; makes the numbers—sky’s the limit!

Type 2: shares the values; misses the numbers—typically, another chance, or two.

Type 3: doesn’t share the values; doesn’t make the numbers—gone.

Type 4 is the toughest call of all: the manager who doesn’t share the values, but delivers the numbers. This type is the toughest to part with because organizations always want to deliver and to let someone go who gets the job done is yet another unnatural act. But we have to remove these Type 4s because they have the power, by themselves, to destroy the open, informal, trust-based culture we need to win today and tomorrow.

We made our leap forward when we began removing our Type 4 managers and making it clear to the entire company why they were asked to leave—not for the usual “personal reasons” or “to pursue other opportunities,” but for not sharing our values. Until an organization develops the courage to do this, people will never have full confidence that these soft values are truly real.

Live by Corporate Values

Organizations face the challenge of developing and sustaining a culture that is both values-centered and performance-driven. They begin by developing mission and value statements that, in due course, become little more than wall decorations because the organization’s leaders and managers fail to uphold these values.

Nothing hurts morale more than when leaders tolerate employees who deliver results, but exhibit behaviors that are incongruent to values of the company. For instance, an organization that thrives on teamwork will suffer, over the long term, if a manager habitually claims all credit for his team’s accomplishments.

Idea for Impact: Core Values Matter!

As a manager, drive accountability. Hold employees responsible for their behaviors. Reward employees for proper behaviors and publicly discourage behaviors that do not uphold values. Do not make exceptions—exceptions signify your own indifference to the upholding of values.

As an employee, understand that an essential requirement for your success in your organization is your fit. Your behaviors must be congruent with the character and needs of your organization. Even if you are talented, you will not fare well if your behaviors are inconsistent with the values of your organization. Reflect on your behavior. On a regular basis, collect feedback from your managers, peers and employees. Seek change.

Keep the company values front and center in people’s mind.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. Seven Real Reasons Employees Disengage and Leave
  2. Fire Fast—It’s Heartless to Hang on to Bad Employees
  3. Eight Ways to Keep Your Star Employees Around
  4. Bringing out the Best in People through Positive Reinforcement
  5. Why Hiring Self-Leaders is the Best Strategy

Filed Under: Managing People, Sharpening Your Skills Tagged With: Coaching, Employee Development, Feedback, General Electric, Great Manager, Hiring & Firing, Human Resources, Jack Welch, Mentoring, Motivation, Performance Management

On the Use of ‘But’ in Interpersonal Feedback

February 28, 2007 By Nagesh Belludi 1 Comment

Dale Carnegie's classic, How to Win Friends and Influence PeopleDale Carnegie’s classic, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” is one of the most popular self-help books ever written. The book was first published in 1936 and has since sold millions of copies worldwide. In all my personality development seminars, I recommend this book as a must-read for improving interpersonal dynamics. Here is a detailed summary of the book.

Dale Carnegie on the Choice of Words in Giving Feedback

Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word ‘but’ and ending with a critical statement. For example, in trying to change a child’s careless attitude toward studies, we might say, “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.”

In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word ‘but.’ He might then question the sincerity of the original praise. To him, the praise seemed only to be a contrived lead-in to a critical inference of failure. Credibility would be strained, and we probably would not achieve our objectives of changing Johnnie’s attitude toward his studies.

This could be easily overcome by changing the word ‘but’ to ‘and.’ “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.”

Now, Johnnie would accept the praise because there was no follow-up of an inference of failure. We have called his attention to the behavior we wished to change indirectly and the chances are he will try to live up to our expectations.

Call for Action

Giving interpersonal feedback and facilitating change is a critical people-skill. Prior to delivering feedback, we rarely plan exactly what we want to say and how we want to say. The words we choose to use are important.

Observe how you deliver feedback. Use the “You are good and if you improve at this skill, you will be better” structure for effective feedback.

Wondering what to read next?

  1. The Difference between Directive and Non-Directive Coaching
  2. Never Skip Those 1-1 Meetings
  3. Can You Be Terminated for Out-of-Work Conduct?
  4. Think of a Customer’s Complaint as a Gift
  5. Fire Fast—It’s Heartless to Hang on to Bad Employees

Filed Under: Managing People Tagged With: Conversations, Feedback

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About: Nagesh Belludi [hire] is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based freethinker, investor, and leadership coach. He specializes in helping executives and companies ensure that the overall quality of their decision-making benefits isn’t compromised by a lack of a big-picture understanding.

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